Forgiveness can be difficult, even when correctly perceiving the revelation of what Christ did for us. In a practical sense, I believe that we could desire to completely forgive, but at the same time, inwardly struggle with exactly how to go about it. One might say that we should relinquish control to God, giving up rights to punish, but I believe that even after this is done one does not necessarily rid him/herself of bitterness in the process. It is possible to refrain from wrath and retaliation, giving all punitive control over to God, and yet still harbor intense bitterness.
I sincerely believe that true forgiveness takes time, which varies according to the nature of the offense. The pain of the offense has to be healed within us. We could quote every scripture in the bible regarding forgiveness, but that only makes us aware of the goal, or , what we desire to do, or think we should do, in obedience to God, which certainly exhibits a desire to be in compliance with His word.
True forgiveness, from the heart, is when we have actually developed a desire for that person not to be punished. (This point does not necessarily pertain to legal issues having to do with criminal justice, but it can).
When an offense is committed against us, it is Pride which rises up. Pride is the primary hindrance when trying to forgive others. This pride, if not dealt with, will be exposed repeatedly in our lives in other situations until we realize that there is a pride problem. We can't forget that in striving for perfection, the Holy Spirit will reveal what is in our hearts. Often we are so focused on external circumstances surrounding offenses, that we overlook the greater problem that may lie within our own hearts.
Pride is what causes us to have 'internal conversations' about the individual/s who have offended us in some way. These internal conversations can create bitterness, stress, and even conditions which could eventually affect our health.
I believe that pure forgiveness is when we forgive a person as many times as it is necessary, (even for a single offense), until it becomes genuine within us. Eventually we should desire for that person to be released from any divine punishment that may be coming their way, by praying that the individual/s who committed the offense, would be forgiven by God. Simply getting out of the way so that God can apply some form of divine punishment, can still leave a root of contempt for that person until we are satisfied that they have suffered enough. Jesus provided us with a better example.
Luke 23:34
Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."
Don't be deceived, one of satan's most powerful weapons against the church is offense, because he knows the pride that is so often given a place in our hearts. Repent of the pride, forgive the individual who committed the offense, ask God to heal you of the offense, then begin to ask God to forgive them also, then pray that if there is any way to reconcile, that God would do it in His time. Some have been won to Christ in these very situations. Recognize that a struggle or an inability to forgive is not a problem having to do with forgiveness at all, it is, without a doubt Pride.
This can also cause us to fall, or, to go back into old sins, which we may not have struggled with for a very long time. This is also one reason why certain individuals have problems breaking a cycle of sinful habits in their own lives, seemingly with no victory.
Proverbs 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty (stiff, unyielding, unsubmisive, hard-hearted, arrogant) spirit, before a fall.
