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I was a slave to crime drugs and depression for 20 years I almost had enough such was the hopelessness I felt suicide was enticing . Ran around the mountain a few times doing rehabs to no avail . I felt compelled to repent for my wrong doings and accepted jesus as my saviour with the help of a rehab chaplain now the lord most high is my rock and fortress and sobriety is a breeze such is his love for me he died for my peace and freedom from depressed thoughts lies of the enemy which I squash beneath my feat as I proclaim the blood of Jesus . God never allows us to go so far backsliding to return to him I ran a life of debauchery and sin before I knew god yet his grace was ever present in my life and left a trail of bread crumbs for me to return which is the repentance part baptised in the Holy Spirit accepting jesus as lord and saviour which is how we connect to the trinity cause Christ was flesh once it our gateway to the gifts if you seek it or ascend the heavinly realm push deeper trust in him .
I'm finding that a bit odd...that and the way you mix up and make a mash up of unfinished thoughts from scripture
getting curious about your posting
guess time will tell