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C
o-2yrs love and nuture
2-5yrs love with discipline
5-12yrs love with guidance
12-18 the time you have spent nuturing, disciplining them and giuding them will determine the teenage yrs, we reap what we sow
18--- character moulded, values instill, knows to handle basic emotional responses to situations
Teach them Jesus - Love and love them - and quality time
2-5yrs love with discipline
5-12yrs love with guidance
12-18 the time you have spent nuturing, disciplining them and giuding them will determine the teenage yrs, we reap what we sow
18--- character moulded, values instill, knows to handle basic emotional responses to situations
Teach them Jesus - Love and love them - and quality time
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L
"spare the rod, spoil the child" (paraphrase of Proverbs 13:24 and 23:13-14)
You don't have to spank your child, per se, but you do have to discipline your children, and if spanking is the best means of discipline for a parent then so be it. For my parents, spanking worked great for my older 2 siblings and me, but my little brother works better with getting grounded. It all depends on the child.
You don't have to spank your child, per se, but you do have to discipline your children, and if spanking is the best means of discipline for a parent then so be it. For my parents, spanking worked great for my older 2 siblings and me, but my little brother works better with getting grounded. It all depends on the child.
L
I believe spanking a child is wrong. If you can't get a child to obey without hitting him, you have a problem. You should discipline with love not hitting. IMO 
I understand that some people don't approve of spanking and that's fine, but that really gives you no right to go around saying people who do believe in spanking have something wrong with them. That's plan out offensive and incorrect, and yes I am highly offended by that comment, because I grew up in a family that believed in spanking, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with my mother or father for spanking me as a child!
Also, what's this about "discipline with love not hitting" stuff? Are you now also trying to say that a parent who spanks his child not only has problems, but also doesn't love his kid? Parents throughout the ages have used the age-old saying "I'm doing this because I love you" when they spanked their child. What was that? Some sort of sick, twisted lie they used to excuse their behavior? I think not. They said it because it was true. Many parents spank their children because they love their children and they know that by disciplining their children they are training those children to grow up and be good citizens.
M
Maybe the better question on this subject is:-
Why do people find the idea of spanking so offensive?
This question has been asked on the forums a few times since I've joined and everytime a certain amount of people come out saying no absolutely not you shouldn't hit your kids.
You must realise the quite massive difference between spanking and hitting, between discipline and abuse.
Spanking is normal and sometimes essential, anyone who doesn't have kids and is against spanking....well come back when you've had them and most likely you'll either then endorse it or have a much more lenient view of it.
Flawless logic on paper, but children cannot reason in this way and grasp the consequences......they hear the instruction but that is all, they do not always follow it and that is why in an average day a parent repeats themselves to their child many times.
It may not be always 'neccesary' to spank a child, but there is nothing wrong with it.
Why do people find the idea of spanking so offensive?
This question has been asked on the forums a few times since I've joined and everytime a certain amount of people come out saying no absolutely not you shouldn't hit your kids.
You must realise the quite massive difference between spanking and hitting, between discipline and abuse.
Spanking is normal and sometimes essential, anyone who doesn't have kids and is against spanking....well come back when you've had them and most likely you'll either then endorse it or have a much more lenient view of it.
Flawless logic on paper, but children cannot reason in this way and grasp the consequences......they hear the instruction but that is all, they do not always follow it and that is why in an average day a parent repeats themselves to their child many times.
It may not be always 'neccesary' to spank a child, but there is nothing wrong with it.
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I have the most beautiful good boys who I am so very proud of. I give them positive reinforcement, let them know what I love about them... all that good & positive stuff. Being kids they test the boundary's. They are given a verbal once, a verbal twice & then they get a spank. three swats max with the hand only to their butt only and only when deliberate defiance. my youngest it usually only takes the verbal 2nd time and he runs and cry's feeling bad... rarely do I spank my boys. My oldest has his stereo that he loves... its more effective to use that as a discipline tool but again very rarely. Its probably because when they were learning (3-5) i did give them a couple of swats to the back side if they deliberately defied or threw fits. I suppose just make sure that what ever they are doing doesnt work... ie throwing a fit... if they get what they want when they throw a fit, they learn to throw fits. NO means NO it is not a starting place for discussion so never say NO then change your mind at least not when they are learning how to "play" you.
In contrast my bf does not spank her kids she tells them wait till your dad gets home... (dad gets home at 11pm nothings ever dealt with) her kids yell at her constantly and throw fits... she believes they are entitled to their opinion even if they are giving it loudly in public and she respects them and gives them what they want. I dont think we do our children any favors when we fail to set boundry's on their behavior and attitudes towards us. And it is a shame for my beautiful gentle sweet friend to be embarassed by her children.
I respect my kids opinions but our family is not a democracy it is a dictatorship where the dictators love the kids and set rules and boundarys.
In contrast my bf does not spank her kids she tells them wait till your dad gets home... (dad gets home at 11pm nothings ever dealt with) her kids yell at her constantly and throw fits... she believes they are entitled to their opinion even if they are giving it loudly in public and she respects them and gives them what they want. I dont think we do our children any favors when we fail to set boundry's on their behavior and attitudes towards us. And it is a shame for my beautiful gentle sweet friend to be embarassed by her children.
I respect my kids opinions but our family is not a democracy it is a dictatorship where the dictators love the kids and set rules and boundarys.
C
love with discipline is corporal punushiment when warranted, only if one has there own emotions in check cause it could get way out of hand. 2-5yrs old is the "spanking" time, yet i didnt use my hand on my 4yr old, i used a wooden spoon and not that often either. I started by threating to use it, she called my bluff one day, sorry Emma you ask for it. Now when my emma plays up i just tell ill get the wooden spoon and she quickly falls in line. And no you dont "belt them" a measured response on our part is warranted to their behaviour for we will reap what we have sowed. the loving is the assuring the child that certain behaviours are unacceptable and consequences do follow if one persists.
F
You are hitting them! that is awful. I believe that tradition makes children scared. I have quite a few friends who got spanked and they always talked about how they were scared. One of my friends i,n fourth grade,started crying at school because she got a detention and she said her mom was going to spank her. hHow horrible is that.
No I did not say that. They may love their child very much but they are hitting them which isn't really showing love. Okay I love you now I'm going to hit you. Wow I'm sure the kid feels love. I think children can grow up to be good citizens without being spanked.
No I did not say that. They may love their child very much but they are hitting them which isn't really showing love. Okay I love you now I'm going to hit you. Wow I'm sure the kid feels love. I think children can grow up to be good citizens without being spanked.
F
also spanking usally doesn't line up with the crime. You're supposed to have the punishment line up with the crime. I mean if a child lies you spank them. What does that teach them? Don't get caught in a lie or I'll get hit. Instead it is better to explain to a child the dangers of lying and maybe even read Proverbs 30:32 and stories like the boy who cried wolf and the emperor's new clothes.
L
There's nothing wrong with being scared of discipline, and that doesn't just go for spanking your child. Kids cry if they are going to get grounded, if mommy takes away their gameboy, if they have to go to bed without dinner. Crying does not equate with evil. Sure I was scared of getting spanked. Spanking hurts! This does not mean I was afraid of my parents. I loved my parents, and I still love my parents. I just hated getting disciplined. I would cry like a baby every time before getting a spanking, and then afterwards I would walk off sniffling because it really did not warrant that much crying (it's called being dramatic).
Once again, you are acting like spanking is the only discipline that is going to create emotions of dislike in a child when the discipline is being inflicted. Sure when my parents spanked me I thought "they don't love me, because if they loved me they wouldn't spank me" but even beneath that trivial thought was the knowledge that yes my parents do love me, and they were spanking me because I was wrong. I can assure you that when my little brother gets grounded he has yelled at my parents at least once that they don't love him and they are so mean and hateful to him, etc. Those are just emotions that arise out of anger at being disciplined. Regardless of the child's selfish anger, or the parents' discipline, they all still love each other.
I never said children cannot grow up to be good citizens if they are not spanked. In fact I have been careful to point out in my posts that I am aware spanking is not for everyone. Some parents don't spank their children, and some children are still going to act disobedient even if spanked. For those people, they need to find an alternate means of discipline. Regardless, just because you don't want to spank your child does not mean everyone else is wrong for doing so.
Once again, you are acting like spanking is the only discipline that is going to create emotions of dislike in a child when the discipline is being inflicted. Sure when my parents spanked me I thought "they don't love me, because if they loved me they wouldn't spank me" but even beneath that trivial thought was the knowledge that yes my parents do love me, and they were spanking me because I was wrong. I can assure you that when my little brother gets grounded he has yelled at my parents at least once that they don't love him and they are so mean and hateful to him, etc. Those are just emotions that arise out of anger at being disciplined. Regardless of the child's selfish anger, or the parents' discipline, they all still love each other.
I never said children cannot grow up to be good citizens if they are not spanked. In fact I have been careful to point out in my posts that I am aware spanking is not for everyone. Some parents don't spank their children, and some children are still going to act disobedient even if spanked. For those people, they need to find an alternate means of discipline. Regardless, just because you don't want to spank your child does not mean everyone else is wrong for doing so.
F
Oh its not so much the crying as just hitting someone anyone isn't right. You wouldn't hit a spouse if they misbehaved why do it to a child. I'm not worried about the emotion cause it should evoke some kind of emotion. spanking generally doesn't teach a lesson against the crime it more says do as I say and don't deceive me or I'll hurt you. It doesn't teach don't deceive me because it hurts you in the long wrong. Everything I'm saying is my opinion I'm not telling other people what to do. I just believe its wrong; its an opinion.
L
I really don't see the difference between spanking or any other discipline. If you are going to say that spanking says "do as I say or I'll spank you for misbehaving" then you have to say that all other disciplines are just "do as I say or I'll discipline you." If that is what you are getting out of disciplining, then you are not disciplining correctly.
I'm okay with you having an opinion. My main hold-up is that you were trying to say people who spank their children don't love them and have some sort of problem for spanking their kids. If you don't want to spank your children, that's fine. I'm just not going to sit back and smile like a half-wit while someone tries to throw emotionally-charged language out there making millions of people look like animals for using corporal punishment.
I'm okay with you having an opinion. My main hold-up is that you were trying to say people who spank their children don't love them and have some sort of problem for spanking their kids. If you don't want to spank your children, that's fine. I'm just not going to sit back and smile like a half-wit while someone tries to throw emotionally-charged language out there making millions of people look like animals for using corporal punishment.