Not sure this question has a yes or no answer

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Seekingadvice75234

Junior Member
#1
Nov 14, 2017
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What if you just want a divorce because your unhappy and you got pressured into a marriage that you probably shouldn't of entered into. My question is, is divorce and remarriage for non biblical reasons an unforgivable sin? I would rather be a little unhappy for the rest of life than eternally damned
 
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tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
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#2
God wants us to have life and have it more abundantly. A lot of us entered a marriage that was not probably wise to do so. What God has joined together may no one put asunder. My question would be, in such circumstances, did God actually join the two together in the first place? Even if divorce and subsequent remarriage is indeed a sin, and in some cases it is, it certainly is not an unforgivable sin.
 
trofimus

trofimus

Senior Member
#3
Aug 17, 2015
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#3
Seekingadvice75234 said:
What if you just want a divorce because your unhappy and you got pressured into a marriage that you probably shouldn't of entered into. My question is, is divorce and remarriage for non biblical reasons an unforgivable sin? I would rather be a little unhappy for the rest of life than eternally damned
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If Jesus said truth here:

"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." Lk 16:18

Or if Paul said truth here:

"For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress."
Rom 7:2-3

Then I think you should stay "a little unhappy" in your current marriage than to be called adulteress and than to make your next husband to commit adultery with you.
 
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EarsToHear

Senior Member
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Jan 14, 2016
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Do you believe Christ forgives sins? The beauty of Christianity is forgiveness of sins upon genuine repentance.

I'm not trying to say that divorce, especially if children are involved, is something to be taken lightly. However, sometimes it's necessary.

And, it's not the unforgivable sin. Only God's elect can commit that sin.
 
Billyd

Billyd

Senior Member
#5
May 8, 2014
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Wives and Husbands

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

If you and your spouse are a Christians, to have a Christian marriage you must put the above scripture into action. When you do, you will find the joy that you are looking for.
 
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Seekingadvice75234

Junior Member
#6
Nov 14, 2017
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How submissive should I be. Submitting to his every controlling and paranoid need is killing me on the inside
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#7
Jul 18, 2017
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#7
Seekingadvice75234 said:
What if you just want a divorce because your unhappy and you got pressured into a marriage that you probably shouldn't of entered into. My question is, is divorce and remarriage for non biblical reasons an unforgivable sin? I would rather be a little unhappy for the rest of life than eternally damned
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The real issue is whether you are a child of God and whether you wish to follow the teachings of Christ. Since you already know what that teaching is for divorce, you have your answer. This is not the unpardonable sin, but that is not the issue.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#8
Apr 18, 2013
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Seekingadvice75234 said:
How submissive should I be. Submitting to his every controlling and paranoid need is killing me on the inside
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Sounds like you need to start with some counseling.

Try setting up some appointments with your pastor.
You need good pastoral counseling from someone who actually knows you, and knows your situation.
 
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Seekingadvice75234

Junior Member
#9
Nov 14, 2017
21
0
0
#9
tourist said:
God wants us to have life and have it more abundantly. A lot of us entered a marriage that was not probably wise to do so. What God has joined together may no one put asunder. My question would be, in such circumstances, did God actually join the two together in the first place? Even if divorce and subsequent remarriage is indeed a sin, and in some cases it is, it certainly is not an unforgivable sin.
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God joins together all marriages doesn't he?
 
PennEd

PennEd

Senior Member
#10
Apr 22, 2013
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#10
Seekingadvice75234 said:
How submissive should I be. Submitting to his every controlling and paranoid need is killing me on the inside
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I am not suggesting you divorce, but the only unforgivable sin is to blaspheme the Holy Spirit. Many understand that to mean a final refusal to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.

I know it's hard, but the Lord is calling you to obey Him. You can do that by being the best wife you can be, and let God deal with your husband.

Holy Father, please intervene in this marriage, let them both keep their eyes outward on YOU, and not on the faults of each other. In Jesus Name I pray.
 
Lighthearted

Lighthearted

Senior Member
#11
Oct 17, 2016
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I was married to a habitual cheater for over 20 years. He even had a child with someone else during our marriage. His last affair lasted 9 years. I know I could have left the marriage...but I believed he would change or God would intervene. I thought maybe it's me. It was important to stay until I had done everything in my power to do. Forgiveness, counseling, prayer, trying to keep up myself on the outside. I tried everything. I even let things happen that I shouldn't let happen to try to keep him excited...yea...nothing worked. We were unequally yoked from the start. So, I gave him one last chance. He failed immediately. What I learned is that you can't be a doormat. God wants us to be happy...but not change ourselves to make someone else happy...but if you're the one that's not happy...maybe you just aren't happy with yourself...in that case examine yourself inside and out. What could you do that would bring you Joy...better yet even...what can God do?

Pray. God knows what's best. Talk to your pastor or get yourself into counselling. Do everything you can do to turn things around and let God guide you through it ALL...and make sure you listen with both ears! God bless you sis. If you're not happy because of you, leaving your husband isn't going to fix anything...it may make you feel worse.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#12
Mar 13, 2014
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#12
Seekingadvice75234 said:
How submissive should I be. Submitting to his every controlling and paranoid need is killing me on the inside
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Submissive means to respect his authority. It does not mean to respond to his every whim and desire. You are not your husband's personal slave. Regarding submissiveness, the bible also says for husbands to love their wives. You will continue to live in fear and anxiety until a solution to his controlling nature and paranoia is addressed and implemented.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#14
Jul 3, 2015
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#14
EarsToHear said:
Do you believe Christ forgives sins? The beauty of Christianity is forgiveness of sins upon genuine repentance.

I'm not trying to say that divorce, especially if children are involved, is something to be taken lightly. However, sometimes it's necessary.

And, it's not the unforgivable sin. Only God's elect can commit that sin.
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I wonder at your last statement, which seems to say that unbelievers will be forgiven all, even blasphemy, when it is an unforgivable sin.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#15
Jul 3, 2015
55,817
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#15
PennEd said:
Many understand that to mean a final refusal to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
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That is certainly my understanding :)

What do you think of the statement another made, that blasphemy can only be committed by God's elect? Such a statement seems to me to overthrow the gospel message.
 
Beez

Beez

Senior Member
#16
Nov 27, 2017
463
83
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#16
Seekingadvice75234 said:
My question is, is divorce and remarriage for non biblical reasons an unforgivable sin?
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This sentence bothers me, because if one thinks it is sin, but plans and does it anyway, with a plan to ask for forgiveness, isn't that presuming upon G-D's mercy? Not that I know! I am new to an understanding of sin, having not understood it properly until fairly recently!!

Also, is not all sin sin? For example, if I plan and carry out a lie, is that just as serious -- a high hand in the Face of the Almighty? The difference possibly being that divorce puts another in the position of being more likely to sin?

What if you decided to try to save the marriage. What if you reassessed him and life with him and deliberately worked for the marriage. I bring this up, because I did it in my marriage. In this one marriage, I had to do it several times, until he got it right. Seriously. Going from hatred for him to us being happy together for the last @ 10 years. Happy together. I wrote HAPPY together!! He has solidly proven himself over and over, especially through the last three years. Especially through this year! It can be done, if you are determined!
 
BillG

BillG

Senior Member
#17
Feb 15, 2017
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tourist said:
No, God certainly does not.
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Yes I have to agree with that and would say also and would also say that can be the case for some Christan marriages.

Before anyone jumps on me let me explain from personal experience.
As a Christian I got engaged to a Christan lady.
To be honest I wasn't sure it was right but I thought even given my doubts I was sure I could work it through.

It became apparent to me that the marriage would not work.

I got the stage where my thoughts were "OK we will get married, have a couple of kids and then get divorced, I'd get to see the kids at the weekends"

That may sound shocking but that was my experience as a kid. Mum divorced a few times. So bearing in mind I had no biblical teaching on marriage, divorce seemed acceptable.

Anyway, one day sat in church thinking my thoughts, I started to think about the consequences.

Then something happened, which I can't explain and still for some reason I carry it today.

All of a sudden it felt like my stomach was ripped apart and a million butterflies were placed in it.

I could not look at my fiance. I broke it off straight away. We tried to work it through but I knew the answer.
Eventually I made it final.

I firmly believe that God brought this about.

I still suffer the severe anxiety of that day but in a sense, even though I struggle with it.
That had to be better than the consequences of my actions had we got married.

Praise God, I am married to the most amazing, Godly, loving woman.
Funnily enough, I was resistant to getting engaged and married to her.
Not because of the above but because I was so frightened of me dying before her and leaving her devastated.
The thought of her pain tore me apart.

I prayed before we got engaged I prayed about it.

But God was clear "This is your wife that I have given you" (even now very emotional thinking about it)

God knew the wife I needed and gave me her (my wife says the reverse, God knew the husband she needed)
Been married for 24 years and have 4 amazing kids, all Christians.

Would that have happened had I got married in the first instance?

I know this is not answering the OP, but I just wanted to agree with you and say that even sure Christan marriages are not ordained by God.

But I will add that this does not mean that God will not in such marriages.
It is he who promises to work good in all things for those who love him.
 
breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#18
Jul 23, 2013
6,002
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#18
Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems like some people are saying here, yeah it's sin but God will forgive you...Do we do this walk doing what makes us happy thinking, oh well God will forgive me? I know I've been guilty of that, doesn't make it right.
 
BillG

BillG

Senior Member
#19
Feb 15, 2017
8,879
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#19
Beez said:
This sentence bothers me, because if one thinks it is sin, but plans and does it anyway, with a plan to ask for forgiveness, isn't that presuming upon G-D's mercy? Not that I know! I am new to an understanding of sin, having not understood it properly until fairly recently!!

Also, is not all sin sin? For example, if I plan and carry out a lie, is that just as serious -- a high hand in the Face of the Almighty? The difference possibly being that divorce puts another in the position of being more likely to sin?

What if you decided to try to save the marriage. What if you reassessed him and life with him and deliberately worked for the marriage. I bring this up, because I did it in my marriage. In this one marriage, I had to do it several times, until he got it right. Seriously. Going from hatred for him to us being happy together for the last @ 10 years. Happy together. I wrote HAPPY together!! He has solidly proven himself over and over, especially through the last three years. Especially through this year! It can be done, if you are determined!
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It's not being determined add such but being determined to allow God to work in you/us.

Romans 8:28-29


28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.

He works good in all things to conform us to the image of Christ.
That is what our determination/focus should be for us and not our partner.
But it should be our prayer for our partner.

If we allow God to conform us to the image of Christ then we are trying to save our marriage.
If our spouse is not then to me is so and THEY want a divorce then grant it.

All sin is sin but only one that is not forgiven.

A total rejection of Jesus and his atonement for sin.

If course this does not give us a licence to sin.
 
BillG

BillG

Senior Member
#20
Feb 15, 2017
8,879
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#20
breno785au said:
Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems like some people are saying here, yeah it's sin but God will forgive you...Do we do this walk doing what makes us happy thinking, oh well God will forgive me? I know I've been guilty of that, doesn't make it right.
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No we should not walk like that. I have known a couple who were like this.
Truly horrifying.

It's a lack of understanding of grace.

The very thing Paul addressed in Romans 6, to those abusing Gods grace.
 
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