Question I really need an answer to..

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A

Ancilla

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#41
#41
shakespeare_lover221 said:
Well, I would deffiantely have to agree that he's a creep. I'm cut him off many times, and he keeps coming back.. Plus, I don't think I can report him to the police cause he lives in a different country.
And thank you. I really appriciate the help
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I should have read this thread all the way through before responding. You're already on that. This is one of the reasons why I avoid being in contact with guys from other countries. I once made an exception of a guy in Australia, but I generally avoid foreign guys because I like to meet guys in person before I spend too much time corresponding with them.

You know I think there's a loop hole in Canada in the child porn laws that teenagers can take pictures of themselves for their own use, and as long as everyone who sees it is under 18, then it's not considered illegal. But this is a classic example of just because something is legal doesn't mean it's a good idea. The problem with digital pictures is that they can get on the internet and never get off. That's really scary. Maybe it should be illegal just because it's such a danergous idea. But I don't think the law works that way.
 
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shakespeare_lover221

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#42
#42
Ancilla said:
Who the heck is this person? Why don't you just block him? I'd cut off a guy who asked for hassled me for pictures. I'm pretty strict about only sending one picture. I have a very clear head shot that I use for internet dating. If they want to see more of me, they'll have to see me in person. If they start demanding a full body shot, even if it's of me in a snow suit, then they're clearly not someone I'm interested in getting to know. I mean, I can tell them my height and weight, and that should suffice.
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I agree. And I kept deleting him from my messenger, I just couldn't figure out how to block him. Which I just figured out how to do today. Which is great cause now I don't have to deal with him. My friend will also be relieved cause he knows it was really upseting me. But yeah, I figured out how to block him today.
 
pickles

pickles

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#43
Apr 20, 2009
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#43
You do not need to defend your choice. You said no. Thats all that needs to be said. God bless and stand strong in Jesus. pickles
 
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worldlover

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#44
#44
just tell him that in every ounce of lust means a million sins to God.
 
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MaggieMye

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#45
#45
Ps...report the guy asking for your pics to the police...immediately!!!
Maggie
 
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Ancilla

Guest
#46
#46
pickles said:
You do not need to defend your choice. You said no. Thats all that needs to be said. God bless and stand strong in Jesus. pickles
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That's very important to remember, you don't need to defend your choice. I've done a lot of internet dating and I've been contacted from men on this site. When it comes to internet dating I'm pretty strict about only corresponding with guys I'm interested in meeting and I only meet guys born after 1978 and who live within a certain distance of me. That seems kind of rigid, but I'm just not attracted to guys who are older than me, and I'm just not comfortable with men more than a couple of years older than me. It may be cynical of me, but I'm very suspicious of men who pursue women in other countries. Especially when those men live in a country that is not in the top 30 on the Human Development Index because they want in. It seems like a lot of men join those sites because they're either looking for a woman under 30 or they want a Canadian (or Australian or American or whatever). The point is they contact me and I tell them about my age and distance restrictions (because, of course, they haven't read my profile all the way through) and then I get an e-mail back telling me that I'm being prejudice against their age or whatever. Initially I'd justify it to them, but then my friend told me to just e-mail them back and tell them that's not what you're looking for and don't say anymore. The irony, of course, is that they've just contacted me because of my age or location and then they're trying to convince me I'm the shallow one. So then I let them know that I'm not rejecting them because of their age but because they've shown me that they're not prepared to respect my wishes. My mom says that there are men out there who think that when a man says no it's the end of a discussion and when a woman says no it's the beginning of a negotiation. That's not the kind of man that I'd want to be in a relationship with.
 
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Maddog

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#47
#47
MaggieMye said:
Ps...report the guy asking for your pics to the police...immediately!!!
Maggie
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I don't think you should report him; he might be a nusiance but no more than that. But then I've never been one to grass.
 
G

greatkraw

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#48
#48
I get plenty of hot emails from women much younger than myself who live in poor countries.

The tell me they love my photo(I don't have one) and they have been looking for a spiritual giant(they got that bit right) like me all their life.
 
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shakespeare_lover221

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#49
#49
MaggieMye said:
Ps...report the guy asking for your pics to the police...immediately!!!
Maggie
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I don't need to report someone because they're asking for my pictures when the person was obviously joking around.. (at least, it seemed to me that he was joking around.. )

to pickles and worldlover: y'all make a really good point.. thank you.

to Ancilla: I understand where you comin' from on that.
My mom says that there are men out there who think that when a man says no it's the end of a discussion and when a woman says no it's the beginning of a negotiation. That's not the kind of man that I'd want to be in a relationship with.
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btw.. i do angree with you on that... I wouldn't wnat to be in a relationship with a man who thinks that.
 
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Maddog

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#50
#50
Ancilla said:
My mom says that there are men out there who think that when a man says no it's the end of a discussion and when a woman says no it's the beginning of a negotiation.
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Of course we all know that when a woman says 'no' she could mean 'yes', 'no', 'maybe', 'I'm feeling upset', 'I'm filing for divorce' or any number of things. The man is simply expected to read her mind.
 
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shakespeare_lover221

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#51
#51
Maddog said:
Of course we all know that when a woman says 'no' she could mean 'yes', 'no', 'maybe', 'I'm feeling upset', 'I'm filing for divorce' or any number of things. The man is simply expected to read her mind.
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well, darn... I didn't know that... :p
 
jjkg

jjkg

Senior Member
#52
May 25, 2005
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#52
You do not need to defend your choice. You said no. Thats all that needs to be said.
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Have to agree with Pickles, there. Another thing I don't understand....why would a guy, asking for nude photos, even care what the Bible says. It seems to me he wouldn't care just from his asking for the photos in the first place. Secondly, a guy 'joking around' about wanting nude pictures of you is just using the 'humor' as a possible out in case he doesn't get what he is wanting, especially if he continues to mention it. Take care.
 
pickles

pickles

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#53
Apr 20, 2009
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#53
Ancilla said:
That's very important to remember, you don't need to defend your choice. I've done a lot of internet dating and I've been contacted from men on this site. When it comes to internet dating I'm pretty strict about only corresponding with guys I'm interested in meeting and I only meet guys born after 1978 and who live within a certain distance of me. That seems kind of rigid, but I'm just not attracted to guys who are older than me, and I'm just not comfortable with men more than a couple of years older than me. It may be cynical of me, but I'm very suspicious of men who pursue women in other countries. Especially when those men live in a country that is not in the top 30 on the Human Development Index because they want in. It seems like a lot of men join those sites because they're either looking for a woman under 30 or they want a Canadian (or Australian or American or whatever). The point is they contact me and I tell them about my age and distance restrictions (because, of course, they haven't read my profile all the way through) and then I get an e-mail back telling me that I'm being prejudice against their age or whatever. Initially I'd justify it to them, but then my friend told me to just e-mail them back and tell them that's not what you're looking for and don't say anymore. The irony, of course, is that they've just contacted me because of my age or location and then they're trying to convince me I'm the shallow one. So then I let them know that I'm not rejecting them because of their age but because they've shown me that they're not prepared to respect my wishes. My mom says that there are men out there who think that when a man says no it's the end of a discussion and when a woman says no it's the beginning of a negotiation. That's not the kind of man that I'd want to be in a relationship with.
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Amen to this. We need to teach our daughters this and more.
God bless, pickles
 
pickles

pickles

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#54
Apr 20, 2009
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#54
shakespeare_lover221 said:
well, darn... I didn't know that... :p
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I say stop trying to read my mind and listen. Most women dont think they can be blunt because many men do not respect what we say. When I was young and dating I was very frustrated by the fact that men thought , you said no to this but what if I asked this a different way. Any man that did not listen? well , I said goodby to. You dont have to read a womans mind if you would simply ask and listen, then respect.
God bless, pickles
 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

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#55
Jan 8, 2009
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#55
I get plenty of hot emails from women much younger than myself who live in poor countries.

The tell me they love my photo(I don't have one) and they have been looking for a spiritual giant(they got that bit right) like me all their life.
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I wonder if they known a Nigerian banker.
 
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songster

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#56
#56
shakespeare_lover221 said:
Where in the bible does it say not to show your nakedness to someone who is not your spouse? (I can't find it)

There is this guy who keeps asking me to send him pictures of myself. I keep telling him no, but he won't leave me alone about it. I want to send him the verse about it so he will hopefully stop.
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I think it's time to pick new friends or at the least, limit your interactions with individuals who don't share your love for Christ.

Few conversions are made through finding and presenting scriputures which condemn the behavior of others. I wouldn't entertain the thought of sending him anything at all, and I would do nothing to encourage him.

You won't need scriptures to know that Exhibitionism and voyeurism are connected to lust and sexual immorality.

I Corinthians 6:13 ...the body was not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord...

 
K

Kadosh

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#57
#57
Listen 2 some sound advice from someone who has been stalked...
STEP 1: REMOVE YOUR PROFILE PICTURE FROM ALL WEBSITES YOU ARE POSTING ON! If you're not interested in a cyber relationship, why do men have to see your face. Unfortunately there are a lot of weirdo's, phsyco's, perverts and just men who can't control themselves when they see 'n pretty woman. If it happened once, it sure will happen again...so prevent this from repeating itself. IF U DON'T WANNA SHOW IT, THEN DON'T ADVERTISE
STEP 2: BLOCK HIM! All chat sites post this feature in some way or another. Don't think u can argue with this guy, his brain works one way only...and thats "southwards"...if you know what I mean. He is clearly lost, thus, slapping him with Scripture will mean zero to him. If u think it's a bit harsh to block him, then maybe u like getting his attention, and then this whole posting of dansel in distress is unneccesary
STEP 3: Change your contact details.
STEP 4: Get on with ur life

If it's really a matter of remaining pure 4 ur future husband and 4 Christ, then you should listen to God's voice...it comes down to something called OBEDIENCE.
 
loveschild

loveschild

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#58
May 21, 2009
3,955
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#58
I just studied naked and I didn't see that. What is important is for you to report this person right now. You don't talk to him anymore. He's not only some wierd evil creep he is breaking the law. You are under age. He has no right to be talking to you like this and you owe him no answers. It's types like him that rape and murder. Please don't let this go on OK. Love
 
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shakespeare_lover221

Guest
#59
#59
pickles said:
I say stop trying to read my mind and listen. Most women dont think they can be blunt because many men do not respect what we say. When I was young and dating I was very frustrated by the fact that men thought , you said no to this but what if I asked this a different way. Any man that did not listen? well , I said goodby to. You dont have to read a womans mind if you would simply ask and listen, then respect.
God bless, pickles
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Well, actually... Most of the time when women say "no", we're really meaning "yes", "no", "maybe", "i don't know" BECAUSE we are so afraid to be blunt. And we're so afraid to be blunt because we want men to like us.. and we're considered bitches when we speak are mind and say "NO" and actually mean it. However, we also expect men to already know what's wrong simply because, well, "they're supposed to". I put that in quotations because that's a fact for someone and it's not for others.. But even for those who don't believe that men are supposed to know what's wrong, in the back of our minds we still think... they're supposed to know, i shouldn't have to tell them.. <--- This is what keeps women from being blunt. And this is why men are so confussed when we say no. and this is why men think that when we say "no" we really mean "yes", "no", "maybe", "I don't know", which is what leads them to keep asking us the same question over again in different ways..



Kadosh said:
Listen 2 some sound advice from someone who has been stalked...
STEP 1: REMOVE YOUR PROFILE PICTURE FROM ALL WEBSITES YOU ARE POSTING ON! If you're not interested in a cyber relationship, why do men have to see your face. Unfortunately there are a lot of weirdo's, phsyco's, perverts and just men who can't control themselves when they see 'n pretty woman. If it happened once, it sure will happen again...so prevent this from repeating itself. IF U DON'T WANNA SHOW IT, THEN DON'T ADVERTISE
STEP 2: BLOCK HIM! All chat sites post this feature in some way or another. Don't think u can argue with this guy, his brain works one way only...and thats "southwards"...if you know what I mean. He is clearly lost, thus, slapping him with Scripture will mean zero to him. If u think it's a bit harsh to block him, then maybe u like getting his attention, and then this whole posting of dansel in distress is unneccesary
STEP 3: Change your contact details.
STEP 4: Get on with ur life

If it's really a matter of remaining pure 4 ur future husband and 4 Christ, then you should listen to God's voice...it comes down to something called OBEDIENCE.
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1. My profile picture on everything I use it the same.. (which is the same as the picture i use for my avatar on here.) I'm interesting in cyber relationships just not cyber dating.. which is what this guy wants (which i assume that's why he wanted nude pictures of me).
2. I would have blocked him sooner but seeing as I've never had to block anyone before. I'd never had this problem (at least.. not over the internet). I wasn't exactlly trying to argue with him, i was simply trying to get him to see my side of this and why I thought it was wrong and why i didn't want to (cause obviously i was gettign nowhere with just a no).
3. and 4. well, I really have no comment on these because I'm not going to change my contact details just because one guy can't control himself (i don't think it's fair to all the other people who need my contact details and who can control themselves).

loveschild said:
I just studied naked and I didn't see that. What is important is for you to report this person right now. You don't talk to him anymore. He's not only some wierd evil creep he is breaking the law. You are under age. He has no right to be talking to you like this and you owe him no answers. It's types like him that rape and murder. Please don't let this go on OK. Love
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Thank you. I learned just the other day how to report people and how to block them (which I hope I never have to do again).
 
A

Ancilla

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#60
#60
Maddog said:
Of course we all know that when a woman says 'no' she could mean 'yes', 'no', 'maybe', 'I'm feeling upset', 'I'm filing for divorce' or any number of things. The man is simply expected to read her mind.
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I really feel bad for guys when the women in their life expect them to read their minds. I never do that because I'm a very bad mind reader. People are always telling me that I don't pick up on subtle hints and I try to tell them back that I have never claimed to get subtle hints and if they're not willing to speak their mind then I just don't know what to do with them. If ever I say that I'm fine and I'm not really fine, it's not my significant other's responsibility to guess what's actually bothering me. But it works the other way too. I've always thought that the worst thing would be to married to guy who says he's fine but really he's mad or something or he's not ok and he won't admit it. So, I think the "no" that you're referring to Maddog is in response to "are you mad at me?" or something along those lines. Not "can we do something sexual?"

However, that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about when women draw a line and men think they can change her mind. Now, that doesn't mean that compromise is not an important part of a relationship. What I'm saying is that some men don't think they need to respect the boundaries of women that they're in a relationship with. And, more impoartantly, if you're not in a relationship with a guy, there's no need to compromise.

I think that people who want something from Christians (and it's not just men, there are A LOT of women in poor countries that want to marry a rich man from a rich country) and get a no, their first response is to try to convince them that they're being bad Christians. Like, when a guy contacted me on this site saying that he thinks God wanted him to marry me and I told him I wasn't interested, he responded by saying that if I didn't want him then I didn't want something good from God. He was mad because he thought I was being dishonest by saying that I was unmarried on my profile but then I said I had a boyfriend. And finally he said all kinds of things about me not being a nice person and a bad Christian etc. It was like anything to make me think "Well, I don't want him to think that I'm not a nice person or a good Christian. I should give him a chance." Obviously I didn't let that manipulate me.
 
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