Well lets deal with the easiest thing first...bitterness. If you are, in fact, bitter about the circumstances described, then that has to be dealt with. God calls on His people to be joyful no matterthe present circumstances. Even in the worst of times God is still God, and He still loves us and desperately wants us to seek Him in all things. Delight in who He is and you will find peace.
Now let me say that, as you have experienced personally, my view as expressed following is in the minority in conservative Christianity. This fact alone does not bother me because I feel like I've looked at this issue pretty thoroughly.
Here are some of the other passages you have probably encountered and struggled with, besides the one you mentioned (1 Tim 2:12-15): 1 Corinthians 11:3-16 & 14:34-35; Ephesians 5:21-22; 1 Timothy 3:1-12 (for the exclusion of women); and the elephant in the room, Genesis 2:4-3:24. (There are others, these I hope to address briefly).
First a couple of relatively broad historical observations. A) Women in Greco-Roman culture during the first century were second (or third or forth) class citizens, no question about it. This is the context of Paul's ministry. B) Jesus treated women very well, held them in high regard, and elevated their status above the norm during his ministry, yet He never explicitly addressed the "role" of women. It simply was never the focus of His ministry to address these types of issues.
One last preparatory comment: In the interepretation of scripture it is usually agreed that any good theological statement must be able to fairly explain (NOT explain away)
ALL relevant passages of scripture. The inability to explain some of the relevant passages, or explaining away passages, is the sign of a belief system or theology that is not fully biblical.
Now...brief comments on each of the passages listed above:
1 Cor 11:3cf- the word "head" here does not mean the same thing each time it is used. In verse three we tend to assume it means "authority", and yet in verses five and six the reference to a shaved head clearly means a literal head. The key to interpreting this passage is the relationship between Christ and God has His head. Whatever relationship is described by that metaphor, it must apply in the same manner to woman and man.
1 Cor 14:34-35 Two comments on this- first, most scholars agree that this verse was probably added by later editors of the text, because in various manuscripts it is located in several places (here or at the end of the chapter being most common). These two verses in this place seem to break up an otherwise coherent thought bridging vv 33 and 36. Secondly, scholars generally agree that the presence of temples in Corinth in which women played a prominent role by giving "prophetic utterances" may have lead to similar practices finding there way into the local churches as pagans converted to Christ. It is highly
possible at least that these verses are meant to address a very specific and very local issue, which would have been highly disruptive.
Ephesians 5:22-23 "Submit to your husband
as to the Lord" And how do you submit to the Lord? Is it with fear or resentment of His Lordship? Does He wield His authority as a tool of power or as a service to those over whom He is Lord? You should have no fear or resentment of Christ, nor of your husband or of men in the church in general. I know this doesn't resolve the idea that the husband is in authority and the wife is not, but read on to find the answer to that question.
1 Timothy 2:12-3:12 In 1 Tim 1:3 Paul reveals that Timothy is located in Ephesus, which is the destination of this letter accordingly. As we know from Acts 19, Ephesus is the location of the pagan temple of Artemis. Artemis was the pagan godess of childbirth, virginity and fertility. This should shed some light on 2:15. As in Corinth, women played a prominent role in the local pagan worship. This may explain why women were excluded from leadership in the local Christian worship.
And the biggie: Genesis 2:4-3:24 The main thing I have to say about this one is that the woman's desire for her husband and his rule over her is a result of the fall, not a condition before it. We do not try to emulate other post-fall conditions in Christianity, why seek to maintain this one?
Like I said before, all of these passages and many other must fit one big picture consistently in order for that big picture to be an accurate description of God's plan for men and women. Here's the only explanation I can see that
explains every relevant passage within it's biblical context and which preserves the greater purpose of God:
Paul and other biblical writers had one overarching purpose: to spread the good news of Jesus Christ and to make disciples of all converts. Inevitably, this goal came up against many obstacles, whether lack of faith, liguistic or cultural obstacles, or others. In the case of men and women, the prevailing cultural norms
could have been a major obstacle to the spread of the gospel. You see, at the foot of the cross all are the same before God- hopeless, lost, enmity-bearing people whom God dearly loves and wants to reconcile to Himself. Before God we are all
equal. Paul states this in Galatians 3:28. Within the prevailing culture(s) of the first century Roman empire, however, such equality would have been a stumbling block to many converts. Especially Jews (Gentiles our equals!? Meh!) and slaveholders (my slave is my equal!? MEH!). This also included women and wives. Well, these kinds of equality came about as a
result of the spread of the gospel, but they were also hard for many to accept. Many, doubtless, could not accept these truths and thus could not accept the Lordship of Christ. So what did Paul and others do? They told slaves to continue to be good workers, told Gentiles to hold Jews in high regard, and told wives to continue to submit to their husbands. This was not to be the permanent solution, only a concession to the cultural norms of the day SO THAT THE GOSPEL COULD INCREASE AMONG THE PEOPLE.
After the gospel comes in, it is time for people to change in light of the work that Christ has done. Sometimes this came more slowly than others. Nevertheless, it is better for slaves to work, Gentiles to respect, and wives to submit (and meat eaters to abstain) on behalf of the
weaker brother so that the gospel would prevail. It was a service from those who
society viewd as weaker to those whom
God knew were weaker.
Once the gospel has a firm hold on the hearts and minds of His people, however, it is time for cultural norms to give way to heavenly norms!
Just my two cents.
