A new standard for me..

There is a difference between someone giving you actual real love,
compared to someone who is merely throwing you a bone.

There is a difference between when a good man keeps his word,
and when the other just makes excuses for why he can't.

There is a difference between when a good man shows up and makes you
feel special, cared for and loved, compared to the man who coldly
sees you as a student, a man who sees you as someone who needs
to learn a new lesson, so you can shape their need, fit their box,
and he'll teach you every lesson except what love really feels like.

There is a difference when a man is your best friend, makes you
laugh and by his kind and gentle action engages you by love in
action. Who finds you to be a priority in their life, and makes time
to see you, to talk to you, to lift you up so that you aren't drowning.
Compared to the man who keeps his distance, never engaging his
so called love, but only saying it in secret and in shame,
making promise after promise, unfulfilled,
making you wait, years,
not seeing any value in me, except as a something to be settled for.
Chasing all these beautiful woman, while I've loved him all those years,
and he says:

"I will settle for this one, because she loves me,
but I will make her fit my need,
and I will teach her a lesson and make her wait,
until she is just like me."

But the good man, says:

"I love you as you are, and I believe in you,
and I will show you what love looks like,
there is nothing to fear.
You are my best friend, I care for you,
and you are important to me."

Can you not see why I would want the good man?

I would grow, guided by his love,
because love is like fresh water,
his nurturing touch like a warm kiss of sunlight,
his gentle words the perfect soil,
This is my standard of love..

He gives me worth and esteem,
and I am loving all the attention I have never known,
even if this love might never last,
and the day comes he realizes..
he realizes that he doesn't want me.

It's too late,
because I feel loved...
I know love, this is love,
I am spoiled.

It has spoiled me to a new standard,
I have never known,
This is what I want, this is something I'm going
to be waiting for.
oh yes,
have I been spoiled by such love.

I agree that it is important to have healthy love. I just think, ultimately, our worth and esteem should be in Him. Don't get me wrong, I don't always have my identity in Him but when I do, I am able to discern more properly, giving and receiving love in a more healthy God centered way. So i say pick a partner who is equally yoked.

I realize this, but how can we know or worth and esteem if we aren't shown it by someone who lives by love and God's word? That is my point. Plus I have a good enough relationship with God to know I don't need to say it in every post I post. This is merely my observation in life. I know what the bible says, and I know Jesus.

I have never seen his love in action this way, and it astounds me..

that is my point...

You don't know the experiences or the battles I had to face, with my salvation when it comes to temptation. How many times I turned down a person, who seems like they really love me, and give me this grand gesture of love, and say I should run to them, and I want to so bad, just because I "think" they love me,

and when I asked God, I get a NO.. that's not the one.

how disappointingly frustrating, and what a lonely life it is for me because God told me to wait...

I do identify with Christ, and listen to him, and his spirit has always guided me to make the right choices. It's why I am alive today. I question everything, make arguments, and trust isn't easily won with me.

I feel that love is shown, and given, not just spoken.
I feel that God is revealing to me what love is, and why I am waiting..

This is my response to an offer I have to refuse,
and it's my honest heart, which I feel like may be a mistake posting here now..