In My Opinion: Tough Love Does Not Belong On The Internet

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Seeking-Christ

Well-known member
Dec 30, 2021
954
308
63
#1
I'm not saying if someone is a drunk or continually ends up in prison that a parent shouldn't practice tough love and not bail the kid out of jail. But how much do you haft to assume about someone who writes things on the internet? How do you know if someone is being honest or trolling? I often can't tell. What I can tell is when someone is leaving me comments, that appears to be trying to get under my skin. There have been a few times, here and there, where someone has decided I need some "tough love". Honestly I feel judged when they act this way. The end result is always the same. I get angry. And then I may or may not tell them off. Either way I will not be friends with a person like that! As far as I can tell they are not acting like a Christian should act. i can tell you there have been numerous times when I have felt like taking my life, and someone on the internet made me feel even worse! Simply because they think I need "tough love". I wish those who think this way, would just ignore me like I don't exist.
 
J

joecoten

Guest
#2
I'm not saying if someone is a drunk or continually ends up in prison that a parent shouldn't practice tough love and not bail the kid out of jail. But how much do you haft to assume about someone who writes things on the internet? How do you know if someone is being honest or trolling? I often can't tell. What I can tell is when someone is leaving me comments, that appears to be trying to get under my skin. There have been a few times, here and there, where someone has decided I need some "tough love". Honestly I feel judged when they act this way. The end result is always the same. I get angry. And then I may or may not tell them off. Either way I will not be friends with a person like that! As far as I can tell they are not acting like a Christian should act. i can tell you there have been numerous times when I have felt like taking my life, and someone on the internet made me feel even worse! Simply because they think I need "tough love". I wish those who think this way, would just ignore me like I don't exist.
Some have hard hearts. Some have had an easy life. Some believe they are superior. Some are helpful...
"A bruised reed He will not break and a smoldering wick He will not extinguish; He will faithfully bring forth justice." - Isaiah 42:3
 

Dymes

Junior Member
Dec 11, 2016
79
42
18
#3
I'm not saying if someone is a drunk or continually ends up in prison that a parent shouldn't practice tough love and not bail the kid out of jail. But how much do you haft to assume about someone who writes things on the internet? How do you know if someone is being honest or trolling? I often can't tell. What I can tell is when someone is leaving me comments, that appears to be trying to get under my skin. There have been a few times, here and there, where someone has decided I need some "tough love". Honestly I feel judged when they act this way. The end result is always the same. I get angry. And then I may or may not tell them off. Either way I will not be friends with a person like that! As far as I can tell they are not acting like a Christian should act. i can tell you there have been numerous times when I have felt like taking my life, and someone on the internet made me feel even worse! Simply because they think I need "tough love". I wish those who think this way, would just ignore me like I don't exist.
Hmmm. Some people need tough love. I need people to tell me something straight up, no sugar coating and no trying to go around my feelings. So the "tough love givers are important".

Jesus himself gave very tough love. He called Pharisees hypocrites, snakes, and sons of Satan. He talked bad about all their good deeds, flipped over their money and said they were hell bound. He even told Peter "get thee behind me satan" when Peter spoke contrary to Jesus ! So to say it's not Christian like is a bit too far. However, there is a time and place for it. Unlike Jesus, most people can't figure that part out. Sometime softer words are needed.

For you personally, maybe stop focusing on how people say things and focus on whether what they said is actually true. If it is true but you feel like it's wrong, then your feelings are the problem. If I saw you in the middle of the street and a bus was coming and I yelled and screamed at you with a stern voice to get out the street. How I'm giving the message is irrelevant to the actual truth that's in the message. Look past the "How".

Sometimes the truth hurt and it's supposed to make us feel bad because well, we are. That lets you know you need to fix some stuff. For instance, the law was given to us to make us feel sinful and guilty over our sin. This guilt and bad feeling is meant to push us toward Christ. It's meant to show that we are destitute without him and we need a savior.

Tough love has it's place, so whenever someone gives it to you and you don't like it, let it bring comfort to you to know that that same tough love will definitely help someone even if you don't find it helpful.
 

Aerials1978

Well-known member
Dec 10, 2019
1,682
963
113
#4
I'm not saying if someone is a drunk or continually ends up in prison that a parent shouldn't practice tough love and not bail the kid out of jail. But how much do you haft to assume about someone who writes things on the internet? How do you know if someone is being honest or trolling? I often can't tell. What I can tell is when someone is leaving me comments, that appears to be trying to get under my skin. There have been a few times, here and there, where someone has decided I need some "tough love". Honestly I feel judged when they act this way. The end result is always the same. I get angry. And then I may or may not tell them off. Either way I will not be friends with a person like that! As far as I can tell they are not acting like a Christian should act. i can tell you there have been numerous times when I have felt like taking my life, and someone on the internet made me feel even worse! Simply because they think I need "tough love". I wish those who think this way, would just ignore me like I don't exist.
Thank you for posting a whole thread about me. If you’re really contemplating suicide, you really need emergency help. It’s a serious matter. And yes, I have been at that point myself.
 

Seeking-Christ

Well-known member
Dec 30, 2021
954
308
63
#5
Hmmm. Some people need tough love. I need people to tell me something straight up, no sugar coating and no trying to go around my feelings. So the "tough love givers are important".

Jesus himself gave very tough love. He called Pharisees hypocrites, snakes, and sons of Satan. He talked bad about all their good deeds, flipped over their money and said they were hell bound. He even told Peter "get thee behind me satan" when Peter spoke contrary to Jesus ! So to say it's not Christian like is a bit too far. However, there is a time and place for it. Unlike Jesus, most people can't figure that part out. Sometime softer words are needed.

For you personally, maybe stop focusing on how people say things and focus on whether what they said is actually true. If it is true but you feel like it's wrong, then your feelings are the problem. If I saw you in the middle of the street and a bus was coming and I yelled and screamed at you with a stern voice to get out the street. How I'm giving the message is irrelevant to the actual truth that's in the message. Look past the "How".

Sometimes the truth hurt and it's supposed to make us feel bad because well, we are. That lets you know you need to fix some stuff. For instance, the law was given to us to make us feel sinful and guilty over our sin. This guilt and bad feeling is meant to push us toward Christ. It's meant to show that we are destitute without him and we need a savior.

Tough love has it's place, so whenever someone gives it to you and you don't like it, let it bring comfort to you to know that that same tough love will definitely help someone even if you don't find it helpful.
Christianity is the only army that shoots it's wounded. I think these people on iine that sees a hurting brother and decides to give tough love. Is one of those people who want to shoot the wounded.
 

Dymes

Junior Member
Dec 11, 2016
79
42
18
#6
Christianity is the only army that shoots it's wounded. I think these people on iine that sees a hurting brother and decides to give tough love. Is one of those people who want to shoot the wounded.
Don't blame the entirety of Christianity on bad apples that "shoot the wounded". That's a people problem, not a Christianity problem. If I may ask, in what situation did a person make you feel worse?
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
11,108
7,230
113
#7
I'm not saying if someone is a drunk or continually ends up in prison that a parent shouldn't practice tough love and not bail the kid out of jail. But how much do you haft to assume about someone who writes things on the internet? How do you know if someone is being honest or trolling? I often can't tell. What I can tell is when someone is leaving me comments, that appears to be trying to get under my skin. There have been a few times, here and there, where someone has decided I need some "tough love". Honestly I feel judged when they act this way. The end result is always the same. I get angry. And then I may or may not tell them off. Either way I will not be friends with a person like that! As far as I can tell they are not acting like a Christian should act. i can tell you there have been numerous times when I have felt like taking my life, and someone on the internet made me feel even worse! Simply because they think I need "tough love". I wish those who think this way, would just ignore me like I don't exist.
I’m sorry. I don’t think I understand this.

Are you asking people for advice on various things, or even posting about a problem, and you don’t want them to be honest?
 

Beckie

Well-known member
Feb 15, 2022
1,058
347
83
#8
I'm not saying if someone is a drunk or continually ends up in prison that a parent shouldn't practice tough love and not bail the kid out of jail. But how much do you haft to assume about someone who writes things on the internet? How do you know if someone is being honest or trolling? I often can't tell. What I can tell is when someone is leaving me comments, that appears to be trying to get under my skin. There have been a few times, here and there, where someone has decided I need some "tough love". Honestly I feel judged when they act this way. The end result is always the same. I get angry. And then I may or may not tell them off. Either way I will not be friends with a person like that! As far as I can tell they are not acting like a Christian should act. i can tell you there have been numerous times when I have felt like taking my life, and someone on the internet made me feel even worse! Simply because they think I need "tough love". I wish those who think this way, would just ignore me like I don't exist.
sounds like you are handing out tough love.
 

Seeking-Christ

Well-known member
Dec 30, 2021
954
308
63
#9
sounds like you are handing out tough love.
You can call it that, if you want too. But I'm just frustrated with people, who use "tough love" on me when I'm feeling down. Most of the posts I write. I write because I'm feeling low, and want to get better. There always seems to be someone that thinks I need to be pushed down harder.... It's happen often enough, that I got angry enough to write a blog about it.