Just curious...

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CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
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#1
I too agree with the sometimes aggressive verbal banter. I see insults thrown around like a ball in a heated game of dodgeball. I often wonder why folks feel the need to try and bring another down.

Would you do me a favor, and humor a sister in Christ? Why do we, family in Christ, treat each other in a manner that lacks dignity?

I understand some of you are no nonsense, tell it like you see it, peeps. To be honest, I appreciate that kind of personality, despite my personality being irritatingly syrupy, lol. Don't get me wrong, I fall short too. I have bad days, less thoughtful and kind moments.

I think we should not have to censor every response. We want good debates and conversations that allow for a difference of opinion. We also enjoy looking at a matter, and then studying it together. Plus, I really enjoy humor, love it in fact. All of this is good stuff. But when we take what could be a nice thought provoking dialogue and turn it into a character assasination party, then not only is it not edifying, it is downright destructive and damaging to each other, our integrity, and to our faith.

So yeah. I am trying to understand and would welcome your feedback (please be nice'ish, though, lol). I admit, though, that I had another motive writing this. I wanted to vent a bit, expressing my response when I see it.

I pray we, myself included, all do better
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
4,871
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#2
Different people have different personalities...

One thing i have observed.. Nearly all posts like your post here Charlirenee are posted by woman.....

I have observed that some woman tend to observe a passionate debate and come to the conclusion it was a nasty traumatic encounter..

I have observed two guys going at it with full gusto and after their debate they are best of friends and have a lot of respect for each other meanwhile a woman on the side lines is almost in tears thinking that the contest was going to end in the death of one or the other debater.. The two guys are having a great time and are enjoying the challenge and they are admiring their opponents mental powers and debating ability while at the same time woman around them ( and some guys too ) are in servere distress and almost in tears...

Sometimes i think there should be a special forum section for woman so they can discuss things with each other in an air of perfect niceness with pretty pink pictures of little kittens and or little girls holding teddy bears emoticons in every post... :love::giggle:

And there should be a mans man section of the forum for hard as iron types who can sharpen eachother with hard core passionate debates where fire and brimstone go bang and boom off the walls.. :LOL::giggle:
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,916
4,412
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#3
Different people have different personalities...

One thing i have observed.. Nearly all posts like your post here Charlirenee are posted by woman.....

I have observed that some woman tend to observe a passionate debate and come to the conclusion it was a nasty traumatic encounter..

I have observed two guys going at it with full gusto and after their debate they are best of friends and have a lot of respect for each other meanwhile a woman on the side lines is almost in tears thinking that the contest was going to end in the death of one or the other debater.. The two guys are having a great time and are enjoying the challenge and they are admiring their opponents mental powers and debating ability while at the same time woman around them ( and some guys too ) are in servere distress and almost in tears...

Sometimes i think there should be a special forum section for woman so they can discuss things with each other in an air of perfect niceness with pretty pink pictures of little kittens and or little girls holding teddy bears emoticons in every post... :love::giggle:

And there should be a mans man section of the forum for hard as iron types who can sharpen eachother with hard core passionate debates where fire and brimstone go bang and boom off the walls.. :LOL::giggle:
While I agree that we women can be overly sensitive to the manner with which folks debate, I think that both genders would agree character assassinations should be exempt no matter how good the debate is. I love debate, am open to dissect a matter, love, even respect, the passion and fire that can goes with it. I also would be saddened if the male thoughts were limited to just other male minds. Your gender is a blessing and I hope to learn, observe, and sometimes partake in the discussions. Now I understand that sometimes I don't know enough so in those particular debates, I'd do best to only observe, taking into consideration all presented opinions, (especially ones substantiated in the word). I just prefer ppl use scripture, research, and their own insights and wisdom to make their points, not just start bashing ones character. To me, intelligence should be a tool in debate and help elevate a debate, even possibly produce greater understanding, which to me should always be the end game. If it is true that men in general feel their faith and lives are edified in insulting one another, maybe you make a really good point. I do think the message of how we are to conduct ourselves with one another in the word, though, can be applied to all ppl, regardless anything.

Adstar, thanks for taking the time to read and respond.
 

Lillywolf

Well-known member
Aug 29, 2018
1,562
534
113
#4
Isn't every moment of life an opportunity to find God in the details?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,100
6,485
113
64
Florida
#6
Different people have different personalities...

One thing i have observed.. Nearly all posts like your post here Charlirenee are posted by woman.....

I have observed that some woman tend to observe a passionate debate and come to the conclusion it was a nasty traumatic encounter..

I have observed two guys going at it with full gusto and after their debate they are best of friends and have a lot of respect for each other meanwhile a woman on the side lines is almost in tears thinking that the contest was going to end in the death of one or the other debater.. The two guys are having a great time and are enjoying the challenge and they are admiring their opponents mental powers and debating ability while at the same time woman around them ( and some guys too ) are in servere distress and almost in tears...

Sometimes i think there should be a special forum section for woman so they can discuss things with each other in an air of perfect niceness with pretty pink pictures of little kittens and or little girls holding teddy bears emoticons in every post... :love::giggle:

And there should be a mans man section of the forum for hard as iron types who can sharpen eachother with hard core passionate debates where fire and brimstone go bang and boom off the walls.. :LOL::giggle:
The previous format of this site had a forum exclusively for women but this new format has no such forum. I am not sure I agree with your estimation about what women prefer though as it is condescending. For the record, I am not one of those guys who get in severe distress and tears when certain guys are dishing it out. I really don't think too many women are that way either.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,916
4,412
113
#7
The previous format of this site had a forum exclusively for women but this new format has no such forum. I am not sure I agree with your estimation about what women prefer though as it is condescending. For the record, I am not one of those guys who get in severe distress and tears when certain guys are dishing it out. I really don't think too many women are that way either.
Yeah, I concur.. Though I am not a big fan of what I call inappropriate behavior, I am fully able to move on, in that I can walk away with a sigh and maybe a shake of my head. Yeah, thanks tourist, way to help us sisters out...:), much appreciated.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,916
4,412
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#8
While I agree that we women can be overly sensitive to the manner with which folks debate, I think that both genders would agree character assassinations should be exempt no matter how good the debate is. I love debate, am open to dissect a matter, love, even respect, the passion and fire that can goes with it. I also would be saddened if the male thoughts were limited to just other male minds. Your gender is a blessing and I hope to learn, observe, and sometimes partake in the discussions. Now I understand that sometimes I don't know enough so in those particular debates, I'd do best to only observe, taking into consideration all presented opinions, (especially ones substantiated in the word). I just prefer ppl use scripture, research, and their own insights and wisdom to make their points, not just start bashing ones character. To me, intelligence should be a tool in debate and help elevate a debate, even possibly produce greater understanding, which to me should always be the end game. If it is true that men in general feel their faith and lives are edified in insulting one another, maybe you make a really good point. I do think the message of how we are to conduct ourselves with one another in the word, though, can be applied to all ppl, regardless anything.

Adstar, thanks for taking the time to read and respond.
Ugh it bugs me when I can not edit misspelled words after 5 minutes. Delivery is important, it can either bring a matter home, or take it to unknown places, hahaha
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
4,871
1,712
113
#9
The previous format of this site had a forum exclusively for women but this new format has no such forum. I am not sure I agree with your estimation about what women prefer though as it is condescending.
I never made any statement that included the term """ All Woman """ If you find such a term in my post please quote it...... But you will not be able to quote it because i never said all woman are like this or like that..
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,916
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#10
I never made any statement that included the term """ All Woman """ If you find such a term in my post please quote it...... But you will not be able to quote it because i never said all woman are like this or like that..
Well, you observed that women take heated debates a certain way as a response to my question. First, it was a question so I appreciate the answer. But when noting obvious insults being tossed, I never implied they were driven by men. I have seen and heard (off here, lol) plenty women get pretty darn viscous in tossing around personal attacks. I just think it is unfair, actually to men, to assume all of them think all fiery debate requires that behavior. I also love a good brawl like discussion, like two dogs with a bone (not comparing any gender there), going back and forth showing flaws or holes in the opponents argument, then presenting their case further. Oh yes, that is fun stuff. I do want to concede to something though. I do agree that men do let go and move on much quicker. I admire that trait very much. Yes, the other is a very obvious character flaw amongst many of us females.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,916
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#11
I'm
I never made any statement that included the term """ All Woman """ If you find such a term in my post please quote it......

I tried to edit my first draft to you but took too long, so the time limit ran out. I like this one better, lol. Thanks for indulging me.

Well, you observed that women (in general is how it read otherwise why suggest separate forums) take heated debates a certain way as a response to my question. First, it was a question so I appreciate the answer. But when noting obvious insults being tossed, I never implied they were driven by men. I have seen and heard (off here, lol) plenty women get pretty darn viscous in tossing around personal attacks. I just think it is unfair, actually to men, to assume all of them think all fiery debate naturally includes the need to attack who it is making the argument or to toss in digs on the arguement itself in a manner that leads the opponents to defend their character rather than their position. I also love a good brawl like discussion, like two dogs with a bone (not comparing any gender there), going back and forth showing flaws or holes in the opponents argument, then presenting their case further. Oh yes, that is fun stuff. When it gets ugly, it can be quite entertaining I'll admit, but I propose that maybe it shouldn't be. I also want to concede to something though. I do agree that men do let go and move on much quicker. I admire that trait very much. Yes, the other way is a very obvious character flaw amongst many of us females
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,100
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#12
I never made any statement that included the term """ All Woman """ If you find such a term in my post please quote it...... But you will not be able to quote it because i never said all woman are like this or like that..
I never said that you wrote "All Women" but rather your general perception of women was condescending.

From your post:
Sometimes i think there should be a special forum section for woman so they can discuss things with each other in an air of perfect niceness with pretty pink pictures of little kittens and or little girls holding teddy bears emoticons in every post... :love::giggle:

It doesn't really matter as I am sure that being condescending was not your intention, but that is probably how it would be received by "Some Women" but certainly not "All Women". :)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,100
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Florida
#13
Well, you observed that women take heated debates a certain way as a response to my question. First, it was a question so I appreciate the answer. But when noting obvious insults being tossed, I never implied they were driven by men. I have seen and heard (off here, lol) plenty women get pretty darn viscous in tossing around personal attacks. I just think it is unfair, actually to men, to assume all of them think all fiery debate requires that behavior. I also love a good brawl like discussion, like two dogs with a bone (not comparing any gender there), going back and forth showing flaws or holes in the opponents argument, then presenting their case further. Oh yes, that is fun stuff. I do want to concede to something though. I do agree that men do let go and move on much quicker. I admire that trait very much. Yes, the other is a very obvious character flaw amongst many of us females.
Your perception regarding this is most refreshing.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
4,871
1,712
113
#15
Well, you observed that women take heated debates a certain way as a response to my question. First, it was a question so I appreciate the answer. But when noting obvious insults being tossed, I never implied they were driven by men. I have seen and heard (off here, lol) plenty women get pretty darn viscous in tossing around personal attacks. I just think it is unfair, actually to men, to assume all of them think all fiery debate requires that behavior. I also love a good brawl like discussion, like two dogs with a bone (not comparing any gender there), going back and forth showing flaws or holes in the opponents argument, then presenting their case further. Oh yes, that is fun stuff. I do want to concede to something though. I do agree that men do let go and move on much quicker. I admire that trait very much. Yes, the other is a very obvious character flaw amongst many of us females.
My post was not quoting you CharliRenee.. I quoted ""Tourist "" that reply was to Tourist..
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
4,871
1,712
113
#16
I never said that you wrote "All Women" but rather your general perception of women was condescending.

From your post:
Sometimes i think there should be a special forum section for woman so they can discuss things with each other in an air of perfect niceness with pretty pink pictures of little kittens and or little girls holding teddy bears emoticons in every post... :love::giggle:

It doesn't really matter as I am sure that being condescending was not your intention, but that is probably how it would be received by "Some Women" but certainly not "All Women". :)
Question .. Was it condecending to you ?
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
4,871
1,712
113
#18
Since I'm a guy I would say that the answer is no. Obviously, our perceptions differ on the frailties and strengths of women in general.
So your a man putting yourself forward as a spokesman for woman...

Some may judge that as being condescending towards woman, thinking that they are incapable of speaking up for themselves..
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,100
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#19
So your a man putting yourself forward as a spokesman for woman...

Some may judge that as being condescending towards woman, thinking that they are incapable of speaking up for themselves..
I am certainly not a spokesman for women as they are more than able to speak for themselves. Personally, I really don't care if people judge me on this matter but was merely stating my opinion. It is time to table this conversation. Let us now move forward and go in peace.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,916
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#20
I am certainly not a spokesman for women as they are more than able to speak for themselves. Personally, I really don't care if people judge me on this matter but was merely stating my opinion. It is time to table this conversation. Let us now move forward and go in peace.
Thank you. U really presented yourself well, while still making very valid points, in my opinion. So thank you, bro.