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J
I lived life all wrong, in ways that measure only but hurt. I was mad at my family, at life.
I was mad because I have always wanted to be loved by the people who mattered the most to me.
All I ever did was push them away. Yeah we do not get along all the time, that is because of major differences.
One brother can not stand God, one Christmas a song about Jesus came on he changed it.
Other brother, i dont know he jusy has alot of hate but i dont know why. Maybe because he is not the only child anymore and maybe thats why he used to knock me around all the time.
The other brother? Hmm well thats indifferent. He is just idk there and can be cruel tk my sister n law by making her cry over stupid stuff which made her get darker and mean.
My sister amanda? She buddhist and a pure nature person. We have one thing in common, nature. But i love her even tho our views are very different.
My sister julie? The best friend and sister by blood, and by Christ. Her love for God has a huge meaning and i wish one day i can be just like her.
Mom? Struggled bad, she faught to keep all six of us together. And she did that until julie ran away. That hurt me and made me feel ao alone. Mom blamed me and my sister for the way our brother was. I get that but it really was not our fault. At times parents stick up more flr their fist instead kd their last.
Me? A loner, i always walked and liatened to musc. I have been molded and fashioned into the writter i am today. And in hopes one day i can write along side of my wife (when God puts her in my life) and help change peoples lives for the good of human kind. I lived the way i lived for a reason, my whole life has been one big test,
The teacher is ALWAYS silent durring that test.
I was mad because I have always wanted to be loved by the people who mattered the most to me.
All I ever did was push them away. Yeah we do not get along all the time, that is because of major differences.
One brother can not stand God, one Christmas a song about Jesus came on he changed it.
Other brother, i dont know he jusy has alot of hate but i dont know why. Maybe because he is not the only child anymore and maybe thats why he used to knock me around all the time.
The other brother? Hmm well thats indifferent. He is just idk there and can be cruel tk my sister n law by making her cry over stupid stuff which made her get darker and mean.
My sister amanda? She buddhist and a pure nature person. We have one thing in common, nature. But i love her even tho our views are very different.
My sister julie? The best friend and sister by blood, and by Christ. Her love for God has a huge meaning and i wish one day i can be just like her.
Mom? Struggled bad, she faught to keep all six of us together. And she did that until julie ran away. That hurt me and made me feel ao alone. Mom blamed me and my sister for the way our brother was. I get that but it really was not our fault. At times parents stick up more flr their fist instead kd their last.
Me? A loner, i always walked and liatened to musc. I have been molded and fashioned into the writter i am today. And in hopes one day i can write along side of my wife (when God puts her in my life) and help change peoples lives for the good of human kind. I lived the way i lived for a reason, my whole life has been one big test,
The teacher is ALWAYS silent durring that test.
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J
This one i wrote back in 06/19/2017
No matter what you may be facing, you are called to cast all of your care on The Lord. Trials come, and go as circumstances change.
Some circumstances can be hard to bare, but you are to cast all care unto The Lord who loves, ans adores you.
It is by no mistake that things happen. Certain things happen so that you can open your eyes, and heart to submit to God.
You may be faced with a big burden that weighs you down. Don't lose heart durring this time of trial
God asks you to come to Him which carries you throughout each day.
The Lord will never lead you atray. He will never leave, nor forsake you. You are to come to Him, like a child who comes to their parents for help, and support.
You are never too old to ask God to help you. Will you, this very moment open your heart to Him who loves you?
That is very relavent to today's events. I was goin to post a story i write but changed over to this ine even tho I forgot what it was i wrote it iut anyway and yep God has spoken to me in a big way.
God loves you and so do i!
No matter what you may be facing, you are called to cast all of your care on The Lord. Trials come, and go as circumstances change.
Some circumstances can be hard to bare, but you are to cast all care unto The Lord who loves, ans adores you.
It is by no mistake that things happen. Certain things happen so that you can open your eyes, and heart to submit to God.
You may be faced with a big burden that weighs you down. Don't lose heart durring this time of trial
God asks you to come to Him which carries you throughout each day.
The Lord will never lead you atray. He will never leave, nor forsake you. You are to come to Him, like a child who comes to their parents for help, and support.
You are never too old to ask God to help you. Will you, this very moment open your heart to Him who loves you?
That is very relavent to today's events. I was goin to post a story i write but changed over to this ine even tho I forgot what it was i wrote it iut anyway and yep God has spoken to me in a big way.
God loves you and so do i!
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J
Yesterday work was pretty good. My southern buddy and i were talking.
HE explained where he lived, him his wife and 4 children.
I said wait, you live there?!?
He said yes, thrre is usually bad things there in that area. Exprcially guns.
I aaid man look, we need to change that some how some way. U and ur fam dont need to be there.
He explained he is on low incomeS i get that i just wish there were better places for him and his family.
To start imma help him get a cheaper better driver to work. He asked me to do it this week.
And it will be done. My friend will charge 35 instead of 60 aome bucks.
And he wont be around the dude that disaed hil for having mo teeth.
This guy who treats people poorly yes he is going thru a whole lot so please family help me pray for him.
He just does not know how to chnannel his anger, or jis negativity the right way. Without doing drugs.
😟he is a solid mess and its hard to speak to him cuz he lashes out.
Idk family its just why do people hafta really be so hateful?
This guy even told my buddy he would cut him off his ride for talking to me and to kot be like me.
Lol ok? Anyway please help me pray for these two.
HE explained where he lived, him his wife and 4 children.
I said wait, you live there?!?
He said yes, thrre is usually bad things there in that area. Exprcially guns.
I aaid man look, we need to change that some how some way. U and ur fam dont need to be there.
He explained he is on low incomeS i get that i just wish there were better places for him and his family.
To start imma help him get a cheaper better driver to work. He asked me to do it this week.
And it will be done. My friend will charge 35 instead of 60 aome bucks.
And he wont be around the dude that disaed hil for having mo teeth.
This guy who treats people poorly yes he is going thru a whole lot so please family help me pray for him.
He just does not know how to chnannel his anger, or jis negativity the right way. Without doing drugs.
😟he is a solid mess and its hard to speak to him cuz he lashes out.
Idk family its just why do people hafta really be so hateful?
This guy even told my buddy he would cut him off his ride for talking to me and to kot be like me.
Lol ok? Anyway please help me pray for these two.
J
God never intended people to be, holier than thou.
He said to come as you are. And i say not as the world sees you.
The thing is this, to be holier than thou u get a very selfish aditude. This aditude comes from false pretenses that can turn peope away from God!!
People say many Christians are stuck up, that is the wrong thing to be viewed as!!
This goody goody thing i mean honestly, yes we love God yes we are to bring people to God and YES we are His children.
But to bring people to God is never done in a fake maner, where many show they are too perfect to be touched.
Many tv evangelists as they call themselves are like this.
One in particular is not, Charles Stanley. I feel he is more genuine then all the others because i have not once heared him say to get to heaven u must pay me money!
So why not be real and relax? Instead of showing people a fake smile show them your scars of war and battle THEN they can see where Christ has worked in your life.
He said to come as you are. And i say not as the world sees you.
The thing is this, to be holier than thou u get a very selfish aditude. This aditude comes from false pretenses that can turn peope away from God!!
People say many Christians are stuck up, that is the wrong thing to be viewed as!!
This goody goody thing i mean honestly, yes we love God yes we are to bring people to God and YES we are His children.
But to bring people to God is never done in a fake maner, where many show they are too perfect to be touched.
Many tv evangelists as they call themselves are like this.
One in particular is not, Charles Stanley. I feel he is more genuine then all the others because i have not once heared him say to get to heaven u must pay me money!
So why not be real and relax? Instead of showing people a fake smile show them your scars of war and battle THEN they can see where Christ has worked in your life.
J
Mom was always the type to not sugar coat anything. Her passing left me lonley yes, but her momory keeps me happy.
I think about her alot, but i still do what i do for God.
I miss her searly but she would want me to do me and live happy.
Im sad and lost ethiut her but honestly ahe is in my heart and that makes me happy and found.
Im not selfish towards her memory, dont get me wrong sometimes my own smile can lie because inside i am, dying withiur her.
But she never wanted me to be depressed. I just got to hold onto her memory and keep her alive in my heart is all.
And my ministry is desicated to her and to everyone who has lost a loved one.
I think about her alot, but i still do what i do for God.
I miss her searly but she would want me to do me and live happy.
Im sad and lost ethiut her but honestly ahe is in my heart and that makes me happy and found.
Im not selfish towards her memory, dont get me wrong sometimes my own smile can lie because inside i am, dying withiur her.
But she never wanted me to be depressed. I just got to hold onto her memory and keep her alive in my heart is all.
And my ministry is desicated to her and to everyone who has lost a loved one.
J
My driver has a meeting each tuesday lol its all gravy.
Anyway, my friend and i walk around until its over.
Last week we were walking i didnt realize but i was far ahead i laughed and said hey old man keep up! Lol
He said if u werent going a thousand miles an hour lol
I said well if u stoped smoking then yeah
Anyway, my friend and i walk around until its over.
Last week we were walking i didnt realize but i was far ahead i laughed and said hey old man keep up! Lol
He said if u werent going a thousand miles an hour lol
I said well if u stoped smoking then yeah