M
Summary Up Front:
Human love is based on reciprocity, however Christ loves all without reservation.
Once I was in an argument with my wife - subject and duration which will go unrecorded (oh you betcha!). Unfortunately and as usual it didn't take me long to descend the stairs of rationality all the way to the bottom - not a far trip for me when angry - when I resorted to my inevitable tantrum - NOBODY LIKES ME.
This was a saying I was fond of - well basically throughout my whole life. Pathetic, I know. Sounds like a tearful child bringing home a bad report card. In my case, especially as I rarely actually said what was on my mind, it was a means of garnering pity (except it rarely worked). However, it did not stop me from using it, or even saying it to myself - especially when rationalizing about bad things happening to me, like promotions not received, or party invitations not received, blah blah. Very simply - no one liked me and it CERTAINLY wasn't anything I did wrong - oh no - that can't be!
In this particular argument, I droned on and on that I was just a tool of humanity, which was just absolutely sucking the life out of me in the form of hard labor and material, and financial resources that I could produce (whine whine whine). That's all I was - a machine to be used until I'm all used up and then thrown in a box underground somewhere (whine whine double whine). Now, I believe that a lot of men have these thoughts at some point during their life, but most have the decency not to express it, or dwell on it very long. But it's the kind of thing that comes out after the third beer, sitting at a bar with friends, commisserating on the 'horrible' existence that we led. It also leaks out during arguments with your spouse in the form of - ok - all together now - "you're just using me".
My wife is a very patient woman, and knew to wait for my self-pitying rant to die down. When it did, she just looked at me quizically, and said, well, we all use each other during life, right?
I'm not a proud person, so I have no problem at all telling the readers here, how many years it took for that thought to sink in - had to be ten or even fifteen - can't remember really, because a good thing about my wife and I is that we never revisited an argument - ok, I'll amend that to rarely. Usually for us it was what's over is done.
But she was absolutely spot on. We all use each other incessantly. We do, and I'll admit that came as a bit of an epiphany for me. Wow, we do, and while I will NOT go into the way married people use each other, it became apparent to me that everyone uses everyone for a myriad of reasons - you could say that no one really likes any other person on this planet - except for some form of remuneration.
I really ran the gamut of this in my mind. I went over the purest form of love - surely my grandmother loved me and I loved her before her death in 1976. But if I had to explain WHY I loved her - it was simple. She always spoke very kindly to me and ALWAYS had a cookie for me. Is it as simple as that - could anyone with cookies and a kind voice lure me into a relationship? Even today, I must admit, the answer (however sadly) is a resounding yes. Feed me cookies and I will follow you around forever! What did she get out of it - the pleasure of having a happy small child around, and I got cookies!
Most would say that the most common medium of exchange is friendship or even love. But I maintain that the lowest denominator is not these things, but materialistic things. What is friendship - what are the components? Is it this ephemeral feeling that I might have for someone, or is it more basic - what am I getting and what are they getting? Sure the feelings one has about friends or spouses can grow into deep-seated feelings of like and loveability, but initially, you get the gift of laughter, the pleasure of talking to someone about common likes and dislikes; truly pleasant feelings, but fleeting at best.
Among my friends, I've grown to realize that I do get something from them. It may be as simple as the ability to gab about life with one or one that simply enjoys the same humor as I do. What do I get in these situations? I enjoy the laughter and sharing stories. But is it that, or are these people interchangeable? Do they really like me, and just as importantly, do I really like THEM and not just what they can provide me?
I've been around the block once or twice, and as a result of having moved many many times in my life, I've had numerous good friends. Many times I've had friends I would classify as best friends. I realize at this point in my life, though, it doesn't really matter who I'm associating with at any particular moment. As the result of my having to pull up stakes and shift environments so often, I know I can find a friend anywhere I go. So as harsh as it may sound, I know that my friends are interchangeable, and I can take the things I enjoy (a good joke, chatting) with me; however this knowledge doesn't diminish the fact that I may miss my old friends a lot.
So, nobody likes me. Really. Occasionally, I may provide something to someone that makes them want to hang around me for a while or maybe buy me lunch, but if I can be replaced with a less annoying character, then it will happen. Sooner or later.
Of course the reciprocity of this hits me in the face - does this mean I really don't like anyone? I'm really not mentally prepared to deal with this. However, I must admit, if I get nothing from you - I'm probably not going to spend a great deal of time in your presence. (so tell me a joke, give me a cookie!) But I will take the good memories of my 'friendship' with me throughout my life.
Coming to this understanding of life was, a bit, unnerving for me. I really like to think that I truly love and like people simply from the goodness of my heart. But, if you're a Christian like me, you will know deep in your heart of hearts that there is no goodness there, except that which is placed by Jesus Christ. All of our righteousness is as filthy rags, and I admit that is wholly true for me. Many times I have thought that I was being very righteous or good, but then either circumstances or honest self-introspection made me realize the ulterior motive that was in my heart. For example, if I believe myself to be very honest and, say, return someone's money or property to them without any prompting from outside forces, am I really being honest, as God is honest with us, or am I just reveling in being self-righteous. Sadly, it's always, even when I think it's not, the latter.
But that's where God comes into our lives and inserts his love and righteousness. I can honestly say (my, aren't I something!) that there is no love or any positive characteristic in my heart except what he has placed there. He 'likes' us always, without any reservation. It is this knowledge that I try to focus on, and it is this knowledge that keeps me from focusing on humans; for that matters not one bit, except for my comfortability on this earth.
I went to a wedding today, and of course the overriding theme was eternal undying love. I was thankful to see this wedding was Christ-centered. The realization was so clear at this ceremony that the only love that exists in this world is placed there by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Without him, there is no love in this world. When a relationship is established between two people, it stands a much better chance of success if the participants are focused on the only source of love in this world, which Christ has given them. Outside of his love, the feelings one has for another is based strictly on human desires that focuses on what they can get out of each other. Sooner or later, the honeymoon ends, and one or the other - perhaps both will begin to seek other places they can have their needs fulfilled. Focusing on our relationship with Jesus allows us to experience permanent love on a daily basis.
Nobody likes me - but God loves me (and you!), and sent his son to die for us. If you are looking for that kind of love in any person, activity, or place, you will never find it; your search will last a lifetime. The only place you will find eternal acceptance is in a relationship with Jesus Christ. I strongly urge the reader to seek him out - you will find him. He is waiting.
Human love is based on reciprocity, however Christ loves all without reservation.
Once I was in an argument with my wife - subject and duration which will go unrecorded (oh you betcha!). Unfortunately and as usual it didn't take me long to descend the stairs of rationality all the way to the bottom - not a far trip for me when angry - when I resorted to my inevitable tantrum - NOBODY LIKES ME.
This was a saying I was fond of - well basically throughout my whole life. Pathetic, I know. Sounds like a tearful child bringing home a bad report card. In my case, especially as I rarely actually said what was on my mind, it was a means of garnering pity (except it rarely worked). However, it did not stop me from using it, or even saying it to myself - especially when rationalizing about bad things happening to me, like promotions not received, or party invitations not received, blah blah. Very simply - no one liked me and it CERTAINLY wasn't anything I did wrong - oh no - that can't be!
In this particular argument, I droned on and on that I was just a tool of humanity, which was just absolutely sucking the life out of me in the form of hard labor and material, and financial resources that I could produce (whine whine whine). That's all I was - a machine to be used until I'm all used up and then thrown in a box underground somewhere (whine whine double whine). Now, I believe that a lot of men have these thoughts at some point during their life, but most have the decency not to express it, or dwell on it very long. But it's the kind of thing that comes out after the third beer, sitting at a bar with friends, commisserating on the 'horrible' existence that we led. It also leaks out during arguments with your spouse in the form of - ok - all together now - "you're just using me".
My wife is a very patient woman, and knew to wait for my self-pitying rant to die down. When it did, she just looked at me quizically, and said, well, we all use each other during life, right?
I'm not a proud person, so I have no problem at all telling the readers here, how many years it took for that thought to sink in - had to be ten or even fifteen - can't remember really, because a good thing about my wife and I is that we never revisited an argument - ok, I'll amend that to rarely. Usually for us it was what's over is done.
But she was absolutely spot on. We all use each other incessantly. We do, and I'll admit that came as a bit of an epiphany for me. Wow, we do, and while I will NOT go into the way married people use each other, it became apparent to me that everyone uses everyone for a myriad of reasons - you could say that no one really likes any other person on this planet - except for some form of remuneration.
I really ran the gamut of this in my mind. I went over the purest form of love - surely my grandmother loved me and I loved her before her death in 1976. But if I had to explain WHY I loved her - it was simple. She always spoke very kindly to me and ALWAYS had a cookie for me. Is it as simple as that - could anyone with cookies and a kind voice lure me into a relationship? Even today, I must admit, the answer (however sadly) is a resounding yes. Feed me cookies and I will follow you around forever! What did she get out of it - the pleasure of having a happy small child around, and I got cookies!
Most would say that the most common medium of exchange is friendship or even love. But I maintain that the lowest denominator is not these things, but materialistic things. What is friendship - what are the components? Is it this ephemeral feeling that I might have for someone, or is it more basic - what am I getting and what are they getting? Sure the feelings one has about friends or spouses can grow into deep-seated feelings of like and loveability, but initially, you get the gift of laughter, the pleasure of talking to someone about common likes and dislikes; truly pleasant feelings, but fleeting at best.
Among my friends, I've grown to realize that I do get something from them. It may be as simple as the ability to gab about life with one or one that simply enjoys the same humor as I do. What do I get in these situations? I enjoy the laughter and sharing stories. But is it that, or are these people interchangeable? Do they really like me, and just as importantly, do I really like THEM and not just what they can provide me?
I've been around the block once or twice, and as a result of having moved many many times in my life, I've had numerous good friends. Many times I've had friends I would classify as best friends. I realize at this point in my life, though, it doesn't really matter who I'm associating with at any particular moment. As the result of my having to pull up stakes and shift environments so often, I know I can find a friend anywhere I go. So as harsh as it may sound, I know that my friends are interchangeable, and I can take the things I enjoy (a good joke, chatting) with me; however this knowledge doesn't diminish the fact that I may miss my old friends a lot.
So, nobody likes me. Really. Occasionally, I may provide something to someone that makes them want to hang around me for a while or maybe buy me lunch, but if I can be replaced with a less annoying character, then it will happen. Sooner or later.
Of course the reciprocity of this hits me in the face - does this mean I really don't like anyone? I'm really not mentally prepared to deal with this. However, I must admit, if I get nothing from you - I'm probably not going to spend a great deal of time in your presence. (so tell me a joke, give me a cookie!) But I will take the good memories of my 'friendship' with me throughout my life.
Coming to this understanding of life was, a bit, unnerving for me. I really like to think that I truly love and like people simply from the goodness of my heart. But, if you're a Christian like me, you will know deep in your heart of hearts that there is no goodness there, except that which is placed by Jesus Christ. All of our righteousness is as filthy rags, and I admit that is wholly true for me. Many times I have thought that I was being very righteous or good, but then either circumstances or honest self-introspection made me realize the ulterior motive that was in my heart. For example, if I believe myself to be very honest and, say, return someone's money or property to them without any prompting from outside forces, am I really being honest, as God is honest with us, or am I just reveling in being self-righteous. Sadly, it's always, even when I think it's not, the latter.
But that's where God comes into our lives and inserts his love and righteousness. I can honestly say (my, aren't I something!) that there is no love or any positive characteristic in my heart except what he has placed there. He 'likes' us always, without any reservation. It is this knowledge that I try to focus on, and it is this knowledge that keeps me from focusing on humans; for that matters not one bit, except for my comfortability on this earth.
I went to a wedding today, and of course the overriding theme was eternal undying love. I was thankful to see this wedding was Christ-centered. The realization was so clear at this ceremony that the only love that exists in this world is placed there by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Without him, there is no love in this world. When a relationship is established between two people, it stands a much better chance of success if the participants are focused on the only source of love in this world, which Christ has given them. Outside of his love, the feelings one has for another is based strictly on human desires that focuses on what they can get out of each other. Sooner or later, the honeymoon ends, and one or the other - perhaps both will begin to seek other places they can have their needs fulfilled. Focusing on our relationship with Jesus allows us to experience permanent love on a daily basis.
Nobody likes me - but God loves me (and you!), and sent his son to die for us. If you are looking for that kind of love in any person, activity, or place, you will never find it; your search will last a lifetime. The only place you will find eternal acceptance is in a relationship with Jesus Christ. I strongly urge the reader to seek him out - you will find him. He is waiting.