A little too late?

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L

Lady_Red

Guest
#1
#1
My husband said last week he wanted to talk. To prepare my hear and mind and ensure God took complete control of my tongue, I prayed and read the bible for over an hour before he called. My husband told me how he is tired of carrying this burden and wants to hand his sex addiction over to God. He wants to save our marriage. He is going to a sex addiction group on Tuesdays and men's group on Wednesdays.

I was so thankful. This is answered prayer. This is huge. He has never done this or said this. Could this be God restoring our marriage? All these feelings flooding through me. I imagine how God is going to use our restored marriage for His glory and was super happy.

Speed forward to yesterday and today. I don't feel the same. I am super happy he is getting help, finally. I honestly do not want him living a life of total misery and want him to be free but I don't want to continue our marriage. I know almost everyone here would agree to move on. I am not seeking that advice. I am seeking real Godly advice. I plan to pray and seek God's face for this but I don't know why my heart chsnged.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#2
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#2
Lady_Red said:
My husband said last week he wanted to talk. To prepare my hear and mind and ensure God took complete control of my tongue, I prayed and read the bible for over an hour before he called. My husband told me how he is tired of carrying this burden and wants to hand his sex addiction over to God. He wants to save our marriage. He is going to a sex addiction group on Tuesdays and men's group on Wednesdays.

I was so thankful. This is answered prayer. This is huge. He has never done this or said this. Could this be God restoring our marriage? All these feelings flooding through me. I imagine how God is going to use our restored marriage for His glory and was super happy.

Speed forward to yesterday and today. I don't feel the same. I am super happy he is getting help, finally. I honestly do not want him living a life of total misery and want him to be free but I don't want to continue our marriage. I know almost everyone here would agree to move on. I am not seeking that advice. I am seeking real Godly advice. I plan to pray and seek God's face for this but I don't know why my heart chsnged.
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Because you let yourself get more concerned with your feelings than his?
 
P

popeye

Guest
#3
#3
Wisdom.

Even with counsel,a person needs to show others their change,not just entering a program.

Who is to say it will stick?.

But the word says love hopes all things.

There is a saying " hide and watch"

Give it time before jumping into anything.

Use this time to get red hot for Jesus.

Become a fireball for Jesus,then stuff that normally matters,will not matter,because you are not "normal". LOL
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#4
#4
Lady_Red said:
My husband said last week he wanted to talk. To prepare my hear and mind and ensure God took complete control of my tongue, I prayed and read the bible for over an hour before he called. My husband told me how he is tired of carrying this burden and wants to hand his sex addiction over to God. He wants to save our marriage. He is going to a sex addiction group on Tuesdays and men's group on Wednesdays.

I was so thankful. This is answered prayer. This is huge. He has never done this or said this. Could this be God restoring our marriage? All these feelings flooding through me. I imagine how God is going to use our restored marriage for His glory and was super happy.

Speed forward to yesterday and today. I don't feel the same. I am super happy he is getting help, finally. I honestly do not want him living a life of total misery and want him to be free but I don't want to continue our marriage. I know almost everyone here would agree to move on. I am not seeking that advice. I am seeking real Godly advice. I plan to pray and seek God's face for this but I don't know why my heart chsnged.
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You got the time. Use it. Really take it to God. Study his word in regards to marriage, wife, husband, and divorce. You got the time. You got God. You got his word. This is a homework assignment. Spend the time to truly learn what God's word says to YOU. It will say something specifically to you.

And I know this because I married a man who did this. He was married before. His wife cheated on him. He studied God's word carefully, and God told him to stay.

He did.

She cheated again. He studied God's word again, (same words), and God told him it's over. God did not change his mind. He used this to stretch my future-hubby.

Had he not studied God's word and listened that hard, I would have been utterly foolish to ever marry him!

(And just because that sounds like I was waiting for him, all that happened several years before I met him.)

You have the skills to learn what God would have you learn. Use them. That's why he gave them to you.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#5
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#5
Err on the side of caution. Yes, he may seem sincere in wanting to be rid of his addiction and hand it over to God, BUT he also may just be saying that so he can come back home. It's good if he truly wants God's help, but he needs to prove to YOU that he is serious. I would definitely go to counseling with him, but DON'T let him move back home until or unless you see some real changes and improvements in him.
 
L

Lady_Red

Guest
#6
#6
Depleted said:
You got the time. Use it. Really take it to God. Study his word in regards to marriage, wife, husband, and divorce. You got the time. You got God. You got his word. This is a homework assignment. Spend the time to truly learn what God's word says to YOU. It will say something specifically to you.

And I know this because I married a man who did this. He was married before. His wife cheated on him. He studied God's word carefully, and God told him to stay.

He did.

She cheated again. He studied God's word again, (same words), and God told him it's over. God did not change his mind. He used this to stretch my future-hubby.

Had he not studied God's word and listened that hard, I would have been utterly foolish to ever marry him!

(And just because that sounds like I was waiting for him, all that happened several years before I met him.)

You have the skills to learn what God would have you learn. Use them. That's why he gave them to you.
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Thank you so much, Lynn!!!! I will be using the bible definitely to help guide me and praying.
 
L

Lady_Red

Guest
#7
#7
blue_ladybug said:
Err on the side of caution. Yes, he may seem sincere in wanting to be rid of his addiction and hand it over to God, BUT he also may just be saying that so he can come back home. It's good if he truly wants God's help, but he needs to prove to YOU that he is serious. I would definitely go to counseling with him, but DON'T let him move back home until or unless you see some real changes and improvements in him.
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I totally agree, blue_ladybug
 
santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#8
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
48
#8
Yep, like everyone else says, take it slow. Your "change of heart" is simply Godly wisdom entering in. God tells us to guard our hearts, and this is a time and place to really do that.

I would also suggest individual biblical counseling. It can certainly help you clarify things.
 
R

Rosesrock

Guest
#9
#9
My only advice and reminder is don't let your feelings lie to you. God's answers are specific and real. There will be no guessing

The enemy will attack at our high points. Don't get distracted.
 
GilaSemut

GilaSemut

Member
#10
Jun 1, 2016
89
3
0
#10
Communication is always important when dealing with heated topics. The above advice is all correct, you have the time to understand God's words and your feelings - let these guide you to the best solution. Sometimes it is hard to understand what or why someone does something, therefore, the original intent can be either assumed or misunderstood. With this being said, look for actions and facts. Then, be on the lookout because I want you to be happy. Remember the 3 C's when you go about this - Calm, Collective, and Concise.
Calm- God's words will steady your hand
Collective- See through emotions
Concise- Express your intent clearly
 
Arder_of_Hearts

Arder_of_Hearts

Member
#11
Jun 2, 2016
73
1
8
#11
Lady_Red Blessed is your marriage that is your union unto the house of the Lord.

The Lord is truly great indeed he is! In your home you and your husband have put God on high and above all else in your home and that your covenant in marriage remains sacred. Amen the Lord keep you and bless your family. Rejoice now be well
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#12
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#12
"He who trust in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered." Proverbs 28:26
Don't listen to your heart, know the word of God... it's all written down in the bible.
My heart is the last thing I would trust.
I would do exactly what God says. It's easy to find out what God says. It's written in the bible.
 
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