M
Blaaaaaahhhh...
Okay so... I really need some advice. And I dont want to come off as if I'm whining or venting, I just want to explain my situation and hopefully someone can offer me some sort of guidence? ok... *ahem*
I'll start from the beginning. Last November, my younger brother (19) started having issues with his roommates and started hanging out at my place more and more. (I rented my uncle's basement). And soon, he stopped leaving and was soon living with us. In December, my uncle had had enough, and kicked me out. After much begging and sucking up, I weaseled my way back into his life and he let me stay. Then, in February, he once again asked me to leave (a little nicer this time), but basically said it was because of my brother and the house being too crowded and all of that. Okay. Understood. It sucked that I had to leave the place where I was comfortable (both financially, and physically) but I budgetted and was forced to deal.
In April, my brother and I moved into our own apartment. My bro hasn't held a job longer than 3 months EVER, but he had just gotten a job at a gas station and was confident in it, so we got a place and agreed to split costs evenly. Knowing his past rep, I also made sure if something happened with his job, I would be able to afford the place myself so that we wouldn't be homeless. My brother was aware of me being able to afford the apartment myself (as he's not dumb and knows how much i make a week) and he also knew that how much I make would be EXACTLY enough to live off of. Paycheck to paycheck.
Anyways, pretty much as soon as we move in, his hours at work are cut... and soon he's again, without a job. He is in the national guard, so he recieves about $200 a month from Drill weekends.
Here is my problem: Since November, I have been pretty much taking care of him financially. Yes, he did work at a gas station, but that money never lasted (he would choose to buy games and junk-food or party with his friends and buy alcohol versus helping out). When he has drill pay, he does help out and gives me some, but I have also not requested all of it--thinking he is an adult and he needs to learn to be smart with his money (buying necessities and food). He's my brother, and I dont mind helping him but it's come to the point where he's so irresponsible and ungrateful and totally disrespectful that i cant stand him.
It's gotten the worst as of lately. For the last month and a half, he has chosen to play video games and party instead of even looking for a job. When I ask him to get a job, he gets angry with me and says that me asking makes him depressed and want to do nothing. All day he sleeps, and all night he plays games. He doesn't let our dogs out when he's home, but rather lets them pee and poo everywhere (I'm pretty sure I've lost my deposit). When I do get groceries I go to work and come home and they're pretty much gone (I've even taken to hiding food and he FINDS it!). Something came up this month, so I was unable to pay rent on time and he's angry with me for it. I really dont know what to do. I am honestly beginning to hate him. I want nothing to do with him and the way he treats me. I am 21, I do not want to act like his mom.
My family is totally out of the picture, my mom said when we turned 18 "you're on your own... i did my job, now it's time to make your mistakes and make your life what it is." She loves us, but has turned to "friend" mode vs. "mom" mode. She says that my brother is my problem now, and I knew what i was getting myself into. I've TRIED talking to him, it just makes him angry and ends with him telling me to "go kill myself." I dont have any other family. My brother is it. I feel like... if i ask him to leave, I'll lose the only person I really have in my life (as I have few friends and my family doesn't speak to me.) I dont want to be alone. He really is my best friend as well as my brother.
I feel my only options are:
1.) I ask him to leave--problem... he's got no where to go, and I'll lose him as my friend.
2.) I just up and leave--he'll be forced into responsibility, but will probably end up on the streets, and i dont think i can leave all my own responsibilities behind.
I have decided that I will for SURE be gone (as in move away from this area completely)when my apartment lease is up, because emotionally I cant take it. But my lease isn't up until next April, which leaves 9 months of Hell.
What can i do? I feel so lost.
Okay so... I really need some advice. And I dont want to come off as if I'm whining or venting, I just want to explain my situation and hopefully someone can offer me some sort of guidence? ok... *ahem*
I'll start from the beginning. Last November, my younger brother (19) started having issues with his roommates and started hanging out at my place more and more. (I rented my uncle's basement). And soon, he stopped leaving and was soon living with us. In December, my uncle had had enough, and kicked me out. After much begging and sucking up, I weaseled my way back into his life and he let me stay. Then, in February, he once again asked me to leave (a little nicer this time), but basically said it was because of my brother and the house being too crowded and all of that. Okay. Understood. It sucked that I had to leave the place where I was comfortable (both financially, and physically) but I budgetted and was forced to deal.
In April, my brother and I moved into our own apartment. My bro hasn't held a job longer than 3 months EVER, but he had just gotten a job at a gas station and was confident in it, so we got a place and agreed to split costs evenly. Knowing his past rep, I also made sure if something happened with his job, I would be able to afford the place myself so that we wouldn't be homeless. My brother was aware of me being able to afford the apartment myself (as he's not dumb and knows how much i make a week) and he also knew that how much I make would be EXACTLY enough to live off of. Paycheck to paycheck.
Anyways, pretty much as soon as we move in, his hours at work are cut... and soon he's again, without a job. He is in the national guard, so he recieves about $200 a month from Drill weekends.
Here is my problem: Since November, I have been pretty much taking care of him financially. Yes, he did work at a gas station, but that money never lasted (he would choose to buy games and junk-food or party with his friends and buy alcohol versus helping out). When he has drill pay, he does help out and gives me some, but I have also not requested all of it--thinking he is an adult and he needs to learn to be smart with his money (buying necessities and food). He's my brother, and I dont mind helping him but it's come to the point where he's so irresponsible and ungrateful and totally disrespectful that i cant stand him.
It's gotten the worst as of lately. For the last month and a half, he has chosen to play video games and party instead of even looking for a job. When I ask him to get a job, he gets angry with me and says that me asking makes him depressed and want to do nothing. All day he sleeps, and all night he plays games. He doesn't let our dogs out when he's home, but rather lets them pee and poo everywhere (I'm pretty sure I've lost my deposit). When I do get groceries I go to work and come home and they're pretty much gone (I've even taken to hiding food and he FINDS it!). Something came up this month, so I was unable to pay rent on time and he's angry with me for it. I really dont know what to do. I am honestly beginning to hate him. I want nothing to do with him and the way he treats me. I am 21, I do not want to act like his mom.
My family is totally out of the picture, my mom said when we turned 18 "you're on your own... i did my job, now it's time to make your mistakes and make your life what it is." She loves us, but has turned to "friend" mode vs. "mom" mode. She says that my brother is my problem now, and I knew what i was getting myself into. I've TRIED talking to him, it just makes him angry and ends with him telling me to "go kill myself." I dont have any other family. My brother is it. I feel like... if i ask him to leave, I'll lose the only person I really have in my life (as I have few friends and my family doesn't speak to me.) I dont want to be alone. He really is my best friend as well as my brother.
I feel my only options are:
1.) I ask him to leave--problem... he's got no where to go, and I'll lose him as my friend.
2.) I just up and leave--he'll be forced into responsibility, but will probably end up on the streets, and i dont think i can leave all my own responsibilities behind.
I have decided that I will for SURE be gone (as in move away from this area completely)when my apartment lease is up, because emotionally I cant take it. But my lease isn't up until next April, which leaves 9 months of Hell.
What can i do? I feel so lost.
I can't understand why...