After remarriage, can't the wife have a higher status in the family than the husband's children

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rong

Active member
Nov 20, 2018
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china
#1
Hi, everybody, let me ask you a question. I know a Christian brother who believes that a remarried wife should be in the third place in the family. He thinks that god is the first, his children are the second, and a remarried wife should be in the third place, right?
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
8,654
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#2
Hi, everybody, let me ask you a question. I know a Christian brother who believes that a remarried wife should be in the third place in the family. He thinks that god is the first, his children are the second, and a remarried wife should be in the third place, right?
That's a very bad idea, and it's going to ruin the very children he's trying to protect.

1. The man should only remarry if the woman is MATURE ENOUGH, and WISE ENOUGH, to make a good mother.
(If she's not mature enough and wise enough to make a good mother, he should not be marrying her.)

2. If the woman is mature enough, and wise enough, to be a good mother, then she should take on the full role of being a mother... meaning she NEEDS to be an authority figure over the children.

3. If both parents are not authority figures over the children, the children will grow with only HALF of the authority over them which they need... and they're prone to end up either spoiled, or rebellious.

4. If the children actually have status ABOVE one of the parents, this will reverse the authority structure which God created, and the family is never going to be happy, or function properly.

This is a terrible terrible idea, and it's going to lead to all kinds of problems, and it's going to tear down the family.

...
 

rong

Active member
Nov 20, 2018
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china
#3
Ťhanks!your good idea makes me think a lot .i really appreciate it.
 

rong

Active member
Nov 20, 2018
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china
#5
That is to say, the remarried wife's family status is lower than the children of the husband's ex-wife. God is the first, the children are the second, and the remarried wife is the third. I don't think it's biblical, and I've just received a reply from a Christian who disagrees with that.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,804
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Germany
#6
That is to say, the remarried wife's family status is lower than the children of the husband's ex-wife. God is the first, the children are the second, and the remarried wife is the third. I don't think it's biblical, and I've just received a reply from a Christian who disagrees with that.
Depends on how the wife treats the children .
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
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#7
That is to say, the remarried wife's family status is lower than the children of the husband's ex-wife. God is the first, the children are the second, and the remarried wife is the third. I don't think it's biblical, and I've just received a reply from a Christian who disagrees with that.
I'm not sure his Christian response disagreed with the limits of the premise that was presented.
For example, if the divorced woman in your scenario has previously left her family prior to consideration to remarry, than the Response provided above describes a woman who is not a mature mother of her own children...
 

sbcAdam1

New member
Nov 11, 2018
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#8
Any Godly marriage should have the man as the loving leader, the woman as the supportive wife, and then the children who obey the husband and wife.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
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#9
Hi, everybody, let me ask you a question. I know a Christian brother who believes that a remarried wife should be in the third place in the family. He thinks that god is the first, his children are the second, and a remarried wife should be in the third place, right?
This guy is delusional. I trust his wife is not subject to this delusion.
 

LaurieB

Senior Member
Mar 12, 2018
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#10
Any Godly marriage should have the man as the loving leader, the woman as the supportive wife, and then the children who obey the husband and wife.
This sounds very much like Quiverfull, which is a cult. I believe the woman and man work together and support one another ... working together and the children learn from them what a loving marriage is. Re remarriage, unless the former spouse has passed away or commited adultery, as I understand it, remarriage is not allowed.
 

rong

Active member
Nov 20, 2018
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china
#11
This sounds very much like Quiverfull, which is a cult. I believe the woman and man work together and support one another ... working together and the children learn from them what a loving marriage is. Re remarriage, unless the former spouse has passed away or commited adultery, as I understand it, remarriage is not allowed.
This is a controversial issue.
 
C

claysmithr

Guest
#12
In a Christian relationship, the wife is supposed to represent the bride of Christ. Do you think Christ's bride belongs in 3rd place?
 

rong

Active member
Nov 20, 2018
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china
#13
In a Christian relationship, the wife is supposed to represent the bride of Christ. Do you think Christ's bride belongs in 3rd place?
That's not true, and I don't really agree with him. So I stopped talking to him
 

preacher4truth

Senior Member
Dec 28, 2016
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#14
Hi, everybody, let me ask you a question. I know a Christian brother who believes that a remarried wife should be in the third place in the family. He thinks that god is the first, his children are the second, and a remarried wife should be in the third place, right?
He's wrong. God is first, you two are second together, so your relationship as two becoming one is above the children as you are their authority and they are to honor you as such. You are not "under" the children or him in the manner in which he expressed himself.
 

rong

Active member
Nov 20, 2018
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china
#15
He's wrong. God is first, you two are second together, so your relationship as two becoming one is above the children as you are their authority and they are to honor you as such. You are not "under" the children or him in the manner in which he expressed himself.
Thank you for your reply. I also think it is wrong, so I no longer contact him.
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
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#16
Thank you for your reply. I also think it is wrong, so I no longer contact him.

An odd question here but do you mean the children they have together or children he has from another marriage. What I'm saying is,are they her children?
 
Mar 28, 2016
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#18
Hi, everybody, let me ask you a question. I know a Christian brother who believes that a remarried wife should be in the third place in the family. He thinks that god is the first, his children are the second, and a remarried wife should be in the third place, right?
As long as the wife is sleeping the children can have a higher place .Don't wake the sleeping giant.
 
Mar 28, 2016
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#19
This sounds very much like Quiverfull, which is a cult. I believe the woman and man work together and support one another ... working together and the children learn from them what a loving marriage is. Re remarriage, unless the former spouse has passed away or commited adultery, as I understand it, remarriage is not allowed.
Remarriage is not the unforgivable sin. Christ divorced Isreal when she committed adultery giving her a letter of divorce.

It certainly can cause confusion. Blending of two families is a work that Christ must be involved in. Jacob was involved with three families the true blender. Not bragging but I am on my second . Three girls, now women from the first. My new wife bringing in two, a boy at five years now in his thirties and girl 1 year and together we have one. 5 girls one boy .

We need prayer. I lost much in the first marriage. My wife is very patient and graceful which what she call me a caveman.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
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#20
I'm not really sure what you mean here. I think children should always be put first after God whether you are remarried or not. Not that they should be allowed to take over or make the rules, or anything. Just my opinion, you should love God first, then your kids, then husband/wife.