After remarriage, can't the wife have a higher status in the family than the husband's children

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Locoponydirtman

Well-known member
Oct 9, 2018
2,872
1,728
113
Texas
#41
I guess, to each their own and we are going to have to agree to disagree here.

Yes, kids grow up and move away, but that doesn't mean you don't love them anymore or they are not a part of your life.

And in reality marriages don't always last, even if one person is trying the best the can....I mean, this is evident even by the fact that you mention divorce and remarrying a second wife in your post .

This may sound ugly but it is the truth....You can always find another man or woman if it don't work out, but you can never replace one of your kids with anyone else. I mean, really this is evident by the fact that we are evening talking about a second wife here.

And no, I am not condoning divorce or any such thing, but good parents should love their children unconditionally and put them first in their life after God.

Seriously, I would not even want to be with a man that showed me more attention, affection, and loved me above his own kids. I would have no respect for him at all. And once again, that just my thoughts on it.
#3 cause for divorce according to a study done by a journalist which shall remain unnamed, As children grow and need less attention, many husbands and wives find that they have grown apart and they can't remember why they ever got married in the first place because they no longer have anything in common.
#1 was money
#2 was not having individual lives, codependency type of thing.
Point being that the number three cause for divorce is that they put the relationship with each other on the back burner and focus on kids.
So yes divorce is real, but a big contributor is out of order relationships with in the family unit.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
6,779
1,040
113
#42
From whose perspective? The grandparents?

Is this something the husband actually says, that he puts the wife third? Or is this a comment from the wife. A selfish second wife who does not know how ro sacrifice for children might complain that she us being put in third place.

Especially when a family is not blended and parents have the kids together from birth, husband and wife might put kids first in joint decisions, before themselves, without conflict over it. Just think about a newborn. Mom and dad may both put that baby's need for food, diaper changes and comfort over their need for a reasonable amount of sleep and many other things. What would you say to a husband who demand his wife put his needs first over the baby's needs? What if a mother told a husband she was going to sleep and not feed the baby because she was second and the baby was third? The wife second kids third thing does not mean much without some context.
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
8,268
5,470
113
Anaheim, Cali.
#43
Since we are supposed to show our neighbors as much love and respect as we have for ourselves. Only an idiot would show their wife and children any less. I have a new question. Why is this about women that marry men with children? Men marry women with children too! Should the woman with children love their 2nd husbands more?

Come on girls I know You will love your children as much and often show them favor over your new husbands You can't expect men to feel much differently. If a man can't accept the responsibilities of a father, and that before we got there our wives may have had to fill both roles in absence of a proper male role model. She is not going to roll over be quiet or still while we try to rule over her children either and will promptly remind us when we cross the line too!

You all know it's true.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
38,129
15,068
113
#44
Is this something the husband actually says, that he puts the wife third? Or is this a comment from the wife. A selfish second wife who does not know how to sacrifice for children might complain that she us being put in third place.
The OP was clear: the perspective is the husband's.
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
8,268
5,470
113
Anaheim, Cali.
#45
How many roles must we play? Friends, lovers, confidants. Relatives, in-laws brothers, sisters. Fathers, mothers and children too sometimes if a parent is still with us. Caregivers too! Chauffer's, nurses, cooks and house keepers too.

We also manage by bringing money in, paying money out. We must decide when to hire help like plumbers, roofers, mechanics. Dentists. Pharmasists. Being a responsible spouse and parent is a tough, complicated job.

Men must also be priests and pastors to their family while serving God and loving others.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,804
1,871
113
Germany
#46
If my mother hadnt put me before my dad I wouldnt even be alive anymore
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
17,292
4,748
113
#47
No, God is first, remarried wife second, kids third, dogs forth, cats fifth, birds sixth....

OH!!!! Hush your mouth!!! You said kitties come fifth after dogs? You better duck,here comes Lady Blue with the kitty litter!!
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
17,292
4,748
113
#49
These are his children from a previous marriage.

I think it depends on what you mean by putting her first. The question can't be rightly answered without knowing what is meant by "putting her first". There has been a divorce,very painful for children,their whole world changes. Along comes a new woman in dads life that is suppose to be respected. It' takes time to blend a family. If he tries to force this woman into the family before they are ready there will be drama and resentment. The new woman is his choice,they didn't make that choice. So yes,she should be respected but respect goes both ways. As far as being put first I don't know exactly what you mean and it may change ,my opinion when you explain.
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
8,268
5,470
113
Anaheim, Cali.
#50
Jesus is the foundation and the roof. We are the timber, brick and sheetrock of the home where our family lives. Love is the mortar and nails that keeps it all together.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
38,129
15,068
113
#51
How many roles must we play? Friends, lovers, confidants. Relatives, in-laws brothers, sisters. Fathers, mothers and children too sometimes if a parent is still with us. Caregivers too! Chauffer's, nurses, cooks and house keepers too.

We also manage by bringing money in, paying money out. We must decide when to hire help like plumbers, roofers, mechanics. Dentists. Pharmasists. Being a responsible spouse and parent is a tough, complicated job.

Men must also be priests and pastors to their family while serving God and loving others.
We pour out our lives.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,665
9,378
113
#53
No, God is first, remarried wife second, kids third, dogs forth, cats fifth, birds sixth....

Jerry, you have stirred the wrath of my orange tabby cats army. :mad: They have decided that you must be punished for daring to put them in FIFTH place and BEFORE DOGS!! Therefore, I fully support and approve their plan to lock you in our basement with no coffee.. or food.. or anything other than dirty cat litter being pelted at you by Kaylagirl and myself.. bwahahahaha

This is what happens when you dare to disrespect the orange tabby cat.. Learn your lesson, my friend..

lol
 
G

Gracie_14

Guest
#54
Jerry, you have stirred the wrath of my orange tabby cats army. :mad: They have decided that you must be punished for daring to put them in FIFTH place and BEFORE DOGS!! Therefore, I fully support and approve their plan to lock you in our basement with no coffee.. or food.. or anything other than dirty cat litter being pelted at you by Kaylagirl and myself.. bwahahahaha

This is what happens when you dare to disrespect the orange tabby cat.. Learn your lesson, my friend..

lol
I must agree with Jerry on that one :sneaky::ROFL:
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
8,268
5,470
113
Anaheim, Cali.
#57
Jerry, you have stirred the wrath of my orange tabby cats army. :mad: They have decided that you must be punished for daring to put them in FIFTH place and BEFORE DOGS!! Therefore, I fully support and approve their plan to lock you in our basement with no coffee.. or food.. or anything other than dirty cat litter being pelted at you by Kaylagirl and myself.. bwahahahaha

This is what happens when you dare to disrespect the orange tabby cat.. Learn your lesson, my friend..

lol
I don't have a wife just kids and pets. I won't vote for myself. The Holy Trinity first, kids second, and the dog brought a bottle of water and a bone when I was sick so she is 3rd. then cats, then lizard, frogs etc...

The kids thought they had a tortoise and tried to keep it in a dry aquarium but I pointed out it had fins and so It's just a motorcycle helmet sized turtle and belongs in the lake. They were sad to take him back but when got in the water He took off like a seal. That made them happy. They found him on the grass next to the lake. And just didn't know the difference.
Geesh, some people have no sense of humor.. :rolleyes:

lol
That would be ok if I can have my beagle there.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
36,231
13,516
113
66
Tennessee
#60
Jerry, you have stirred the wrath of my orange tabby cats army. :mad: They have decided that you must be punished for daring to put them in FIFTH place and BEFORE DOGS!! Therefore, I fully support and approve their plan to lock you in our basement with no coffee.. or food.. or anything other than dirty cat litter being pelted at you by Kaylagirl and myself.. bwahahahaha

This is what happens when you dare to disrespect the orange tabby cat.. Learn your lesson, my friend..

I'm sorry but I knew you would read my post and noticed right away about the dogs being placed before cats so I was just having a little fun at your expense. :) Actually, I am now a cat person and cats are really 4th and 5th. Please, do not throw kitty litter at me even though I deserve it. :)