ArtsieSteph's dad's cancer superthread

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ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
4,734
118
63
#1
So as many people have seen or have seen thread throughout the site my father has developed stomach cancer and has a tumor inside of his stomach region and possibly abdomen. I figured it be good just to make one big thread for prayer request, news updates, and all those things so that I would be able to answer any questions or get any feedback all in one thread. My dad knows that I have mentioned and have been praying for him on Christian chat so most likely this thread I will also give a link during the treatment and possibly two family members and or church members. I'm not sure I still have to ask him.

Anyhow the news so far is that my father has a tumor inside toward the center of his stomach and some areas towards the back of the stomach that is sickening a little bit and could possibly be cancerous. He recently had a paracentesis done which means that they took a needle and put it in his abdomen and took out some of the fluid that had been accumulating in his abdomen and fortunately it wasn't very much. We're still waiting on the diagnosis of that fluid. If the fluid has cancer cells in it that means that he is at stage four and needs to have chemotherapy that goes throughout the entire tea of his body to try and get any other cancer cells and/or cancer areas shrunken from his body. Probably also means that during that time he will have a stent put in his stomach while he is being treated and be able to eat solid food because right now he is actually on a liquid diet of very very high protein ensure.

The other possibility is that he only has stage III cancer and that means he would have surgery right away to take out the cancer spots in his stomach and then he would begin chemotherapy after he was treated. It would probably mean that they would take out part of his stomach as well maybe three fourths of it or something but that would be fine because he would have enough also to be eating solid food as well.

The most recent update is that he is starting chemo therapy on Thursday and is going to have a port put in his shoulder in which to let the chemotherapy drugs injured his body more easily on Wednesday. If he has the stage III cancer then that means that he will just go straight to the stomach doctor do you have the tumors and what not taken out.

My family has really rallied together during this time and I am so thankful for that but it's going to be a very long and hard road ahead. And I cannot even describe how thankful I am for all of the church members of my dad's home church that have put in so much support and prayer during this.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#2
Thanks for the info. I've been praying for you and your dad and family during this difficult time.
 

Blain

Senior Member
Aug 28, 2012
14,546
396
83
#3
Oh man... I remember the ports that was annoying. I have been praying as well as I am sure your well aware but I wanted to know if it's possible that the cancer can be removed if it's still in an early stage and he will not die? I mean I don't know how stomach cancer works but if it's something that can be surgically removed in an early stage and it hasn't done to much damage his life might not be at risk anymore
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
4,734
118
63
#4
Oh man... I remember the ports that was annoying. I have been praying as well as I am sure your well aware but I wanted to know if it's possible that the cancer can be removed if it's still in an early stage and he will not die? I mean I don't know how stomach cancer works but if it's something that can be surgically removed in an early stage and it hasn't done to much damage his life might not be at risk anymore
We're hoping that's what that means, the lesser the stage assumably the longer he will live.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#5
We're hoping that's what that means, the lesser the stage assumably the longer he will live.
You still have a life expectancy stamp on him. You honestly don't know how long he will live. You didn't know that before you found this all out too, and you still don't. I won't tell you this ends up sunshine and puppy dogs, but I also don't want you to plan his funeral either.

Practically speaking, if there is any food he truly loves, this is when he should eat it. Food bag is annoying. The good news is after a month, he won't be bothered he can't eat. You will be though. It will end up bothering you more than him.

Also, the chemo treatment room is boring, but it's also a place of comradery. People in the same place he is, so people who personally get what he's going through. Rarely do people talk about it, but it is an overall feeling of relief to know you're not the only one facing this. He can use family by his side to fight the loneliness feeling he'll get. If chemo is a few times during the week, rotating who goes with him will help him not live inside his brain too much. (He's going to live there a lot anyway, but it's nice to have someone talk with him, so he remembers life keeps going.) Once a week and one or two people with him is good. (The room is squishy, so can't accommodate the entire family.)

You'll be happy to know small-portions throughout the day, (something he'll have to do when he loses part of his stomach), still gives me enough food to gain weight. (Rather annoying for me, but comforting for you to know. And, no. I've never had cancer. I just like to eat, but can't do the huge meal thing well.)

And this thread will help you more than you'll understand until after the crisis. I did something similar on the Prayer forum, and now use it to see what happened when. Better yet, I got to see God working it out in every which way, EXCEPT for the way I kept planning, and then replanning for it to go. You will have your ups and downs, but God is always, always working out Romans 8:28. (My signy tells what that verse is, so you don't have to look it up.) Better yet, I can see God at work when his people pray.

You get that. Lots of us are/will be praying for your dad and your family.

Your dad still doesn't have an expiration stamp affixed to his body anywhere. The reason this is important is because often people die exactly when they expect to. That has been scientifically proven enough that most doctors won't tell patients how long they have to live. It tended to have them die earlier than if not told.


And, just so you don't have to keep answer questions about how the treatment works or how the disease happens, here's a link for anyone who wants to understand. (On the left side is a column that fills in the rest of the info on stomach cancer.)
http://www.cancer.net/cancer-types/stomach-cancer/treatment-options
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
4,734
118
63
#6
So far we're kinda in limbo as far as getting information, but dad's calling people at this very moment.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#7
So far we're kinda in limbo as far as getting information, but dad's calling people at this very moment.
That too will drive you up a wall. Actually my biggest frustration was trying to find out what was happening or what will happen with John. In the majority of the long-haul we never did.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
4,734
118
63
#8
At this point my father is getting a PET scan at 7am to see how far the cancer is spread. Prayers would be lovely.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
4,734
118
63
#9
Just got results. Dad has stage 4 cancer and is getting a port installed tomorrow, starts chemotherapy on Thursday. Prayers for my family please that we don't treat it like a death sentence.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,833
1,732
113
#10
If you treat it like a death sentence, then your dad will too. Cancer isn't a death sentence, Steph. And death isn't the end for you or your dad. IF he dies, he will be going to a much better place than this heck hole world he's in now. Stop wondering if he's gonna die or when he's going to die. No one but God knows that. Just try to encourage him, keep his spirits up, remind him that God is in control. :)
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
298
35
28
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#12
Sounds like maybe he's not the only one scared, sweet girl. It's just a dark night, that's all. And they seem to go on forever. This too shall pass and tomorrow will look a little different. But it's time to be brave for your dad and I think little daughters become women on these dark nights. I'll pray for your family and thanks for keeping everyone up to date.
 

IDEAtor

Senior Member
Aug 15, 2012
824
18
18
#13
Lord, in Jesus' name, you can do all things.
You are sustainer who does not need to be sustained.
You are also best informed and most able.
And you have the best purpose for us all.
While we do not understand, you know.
You know the trials, the temptations,
the desires, the longings and battles.
But we are humans of earthen vessels.
Still, in Christ, we are promised the Incorruptible.
So our Hope is not in vain/vein.
Instead, our Soul is Hidden with You,
kept for eternity. But some of us are given today on earth.
And while we long to be with You, fully, in Heaven...
we wonder how long we will be with loved ones here.
Honestly, God. We want both. The best, that is.
But you know the why behind the whats.
And your knowledge is more pure than our perceptions of what's best.
Still, Jesus tells us to ask in his name.
So we are, Father. We ask that you will increase his quality of life, or lessen the pain.
Help him, if your in the mood for a total freakish miracle, help him to be a living testimony
in sickness, in health, and in eternity.
God, be with the family, as they wrestle with what to think, how to console, how to hope.
But one thing's sure, Artsie puts her faith in You.
She trusts Your Hands, even as she has entrusted her dad to the doctors' care.
Lord, give her the hug of hugs, the best of your spirit, to help her through this difficult time.
But if you plan on a miracle, Lord. Please strengthen someone to pray with that fervent faith,
like when Christ rebuked the waves, or Peter's nonsense.
Even so, it was around Peter's fervent belief when you told Peter, "Satan, get behind me."
Because "You do not have in mind the things of God"
And this was from the man, the One who foretold his death.
The one who chose Your will over temptation.
Therefore, God, perhaps the miracle is not one at all.
But the miracle is how Artsie praises you regardless.
Whatever the case....
I ask for her: Heal the family, not just him.
In Jesus' name, amen.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,833
1,732
113
#14
That's understandable, Steph. I was scared too when I got my diagnosis. All the what if's came crashing over me. It's okay to be scared. There is a saying I really like: "Don't tell God how big your storm is. Tell your storm how big your God is". :)


 

hornetguy

Senior Member
Jan 18, 2016
5,010
395
83
#15
I'm praying for your dad... he really needs to know just how many prayers are being lifted up in his behalf... please pass that along to him..

Cancer sucks... but there are many things in this life that do, cancer is only one of them. My two brushes with possible early death have done me a LOT of good.. jarring me out of my complacent faith into a complete dependency on the Father... so if I was to lose the cancer battle, I would be winning in my hope of being with Jesus... this life is only a temporary "training ground"... the REAL life starts when we leave this one...

But.... we just don't know what God's plan is for each of us... your dad might be around another 30 years... I'd plan for that.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
4,734
118
63
#16
Sadly I feel like I can't help much. Mom is the caregiver, Jenn is the organizer, and I'm the comic relief for the most part. And when Jenn goes home I'm gonna have to try help Mom organizing. I am horrible at that.
 

Miri

Senior Member
Jul 22, 2012
7,978
811
113
UK age 49
#17
You can be of more help than you possibly know.
Prayer for your dad in his hearing, anoint him with oil if he doesn't mind.
Put on some worship music get a CD player etc.
You are arty - write out short bible verses and make them into pieces of art, put them
in his room.
See of you can bake your dad's favourite cookie or cake (we call them biscuits :)).
Arrange a "no frowns allowed" party.
Show your dad you love him and remind him God loves him.
If he has a mobile phone, send him a little encouraging text every day, your mum as well.

I know this sounds strange but the other thing, is to release him
from the need to worry about you all. Sort out between you all the practicalities,
delegate things you need to do among yourselves, show your dad you can get done what
needs to be done. Those phone calls, discussions with people, filling in forms, buying
toiletries etc whatever there is to do.

If he sees you are all coping and are doing it cheerfully, it will release him from this
additional worry.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
4,734
118
63
#18
You can be of more help than you possibly know.
Prayer for your dad in his hearing, anoint him with oil if he doesn't mind.
Put on some worship music get a CD player etc.
You are arty - write out short bible verses and make them into pieces of art, put them
in his room.
See of you can bake your dad's favourite cookie or cake (we call them biscuits :)).
Arrange a "no frowns allowed" party.
Show your dad you love him and remind him God loves him.
If he has a mobile phone, send him a little encouraging text every day, your mum as well.

I know this sounds strange but the other thing, is to release him
from the need to worry about you all. Sort out between you all the practicalities,
delegate things you need to do among yourselves, show your dad you can get done what
needs to be done. Those phone calls, discussions with people, filling in forms, buying
toiletries etc whatever there is to do.

If he sees you are all coping and are doing it cheerfully, it will release him from this
additional worry.
I literally wrote down everything you just put there
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,833
1,732
113
#19
Have him read my cancer thread.. :)
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#20
Sadly I feel like I can't help much. Mom is the caregiver, Jenn is the organizer, and I'm the comic relief for the most part. And when Jenn goes home I'm gonna have to try help Mom organizing. I am horrible at that.
When chronic pain first hit me, I was not in a good mood. When I started realizing no one could fix it (or they were taking way too long to figure out what it was to fix), the mood got all the way down to suicidal.

A friend sent me a box of all sorts of things she got comfort from. (Girly-girl, so lots of candles and jewelry, along with the good stuff, but hey, chocolate, cookies, and stuffed animals too. She has always been one of my all time favorite people for sending me that box of hope.) One of the things in that box was my teddy bear. (The tall one in my avatars. lol) I hurt so bad, I really didn't know what to do. The teddy bear was great comfort, so I carried him around the house, and even slept with him. The teddy bear is a bit odd, because his mouth is stitched in a frown, so he always looks terribly serious.

Hubby and I used to take naps. He's hard to wake up, so my ritual was to try and wake him up, go to the bathroom, and come back to try and wake him up again.

One day, I returned from the bathroom and the teddy bear stood on his head, looking all too serious. Hubby pretended he was still asleep. I burst into a laugh.

Ever since then, hubby and I try to crack each other up to full LOL level each day. Our real goal is ROFL level. (Hard to get there.) Many of the jokes are done through the words of our teddy bears. (Got him one when he became sick, because mine comforted me so much. The squat one is hubby's.) We do voices and everything, but usually we have them things you just don't expect teddy bears to say.

When I realized I wasn't going to "get fixed," I started reading books on how to deal with chronic pain. Two things I learned --
A. Get passionate about something to get caught into it enough not to notice the pain. (The pain doesn't actually go away, however not dwelling on it truly helps.)
B. Laugh! Laugh every day!

Never, ever underestimate the power of being comic relief! And, that's just not for your dad. That's for you, your mom, and your sister.

And, hey, use that humor to give your dad occasional boxes of hope. Nothing big or expensive. I'm thinking a whoopie cushion to take with him when he has to get chemo. (The way nurses react to farts is hilarious. They're so accepting. lol) Bake something tasty. (If it flops, all the funnier.) String with a printed out list of string games. Better yet, you do you in the comic relief part. Honest. It helps more than you'll ever know.