Born into the wrong family?

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#1
Does anybody feel they were born into the wrong family before they got adopted into Gods one?
Or are most christians already born into the 'right' family. And what even makes it right or legit?

Just wondering...if there are actually any perfect families out there.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
24,555
13,320
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#2
Does anybody feel they were born into the wrong family before they got adopted into Gods one?
Or are most christians already born into the 'right' family. And what even makes it right or legit?

Just wondering...if there are actually any perfect families out there.
Romans 8:28.

God's will isn't found in the circumstances of our unsaved past, but in His use of our past for His purpose and glory. It shapes who we are. God uses who we are.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#3
food for thought.
some people seem to think they are saved by virtue of being middle-class, or being 'normal' or being married, or hard work.

It is only by the grace of God we are here.
I have often wondered about people who pronounce judgements on children saying 'he/she will never amount to anything'. what does that even mean.
 

blueluna5

Well-known member
Jul 30, 2018
529
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#4
Does anybody feel they were born into the wrong family before they got adopted into Gods one?
Or are most christians already born into the 'right' family. And what even makes it right or legit?

Just wondering...if there are actually any perfect families out there.
There are no perfect families.

Since I was extremely unplanned there were a lot of skeletons so to speak in the closet when I grew up. Mostly I didn't know about it as a child, but figured it out as an adult. It was very painful when I found out. Also relief bc I always knew there were issues as a kid. I could feel the pain of others a lot and it gave me a lot of anxiety as a child. I use to get stress hives when the tension was too high as well. I looked for love in the wrong places, for many years.

I was very lonely as a child as well bc I didn't have any siblings growing up with me. I learned to be very independent from a very early age. I was always around adults.

I use to be angry about it and the unfairness in it. However I still have loving parents, they were just flawed like every person. I don't live the same way within my own family. I respect my husband and he respects me. We have the typical bickering, but nothing like I witnessed growing up. I didn't realize how unnatural it was until I was married.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#5
I think of Jesus and how he was kinda unplanned (to Mary, and to Joseph especially he was a complete surprise) but actually planned by God. The Messiah wasnt born into a wealthy or noble family at all as you might expect. And he grew up in Nazareth and Galilee, not in Judea where he was born at the time of the census.
So people doubted his claim to the throne.

People said 'what good can come out of Nazareth?' as if they werent expecting anyone of note to come from there, like it was a hick-town or something.

I also wonder a little about Jesus siblings, whether he was seen as especially different or set apart. He did hang out with adults more and was quite independent if the incident when he was 12 in Jerusalem was anything to go by.

often this may affects the firstborns more than the secondborns but then the second borns have a different set of circumstances to contend with and feel like they are 'extra' or unwanted if they are not the right gender. I mean how many sons and daughters are you meant to have to be the 'perfect family' anyway?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#6
thinking on this further, you could be planned, like Ishamel was but also 'wrong' as it wasnt what God had planned (although he did bless Ishmael later, it was a different blessing from the one Isaac received)

And then again with Jacob and Esau both being twins but the elder ended up serving the younger which is not how it usually works. However with this situation Jacob really wanted the blessing which wasnt his birthright and Esau was prepared to give his away.

so does it depend on us how much we really want to claim our birthrights? I think of young people who commit suicide how they dont even want to be alive, they are basically giving away their birthrights which all of us can claim and ask God for. We all have a spiritiual inhertance but how many of us are secure in this inheritance? Or do we feel we arent worthy of one...?
 

Reborn

Senior Member
Nov 16, 2014
4,087
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#7
Just wondering...if there are actually any perfect families out there.
Dig the thought. How do you define “perfect” tho?
Lets say...

perfect=normal?
normal= tv show standards for a family or a just a loving supportive family?
traditions=normal?

The world is a huge place. Many, many different definitions of what “a perfect family” means. I think it’s safe to say that’s it’s perfectly normal to say no ones family is “perfect“ or “normal“ by someones/ another cultures definition.

My Mom comes from a place where they think it’s strange that we sit and eat at a table.
Serious.

They squat and hover over their meals , planning an attack on it like a pack of Velociraptors.
Someone distracts the meal while the others flank out and then proceed to pounce on the meal from the east and west. Rice chunks flinging all over the place.

I think it’s odd...but what do l know?
By their definition we are strange...not normal...thus, not a “perfect family“.

l know one thing...God doesn’t make mistakes.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#8
maybe perfect means happy?
as in the line from anna karenina all happy families are alike but unhappy families are all unhappy in their own way.

so what are happy families like?

I can think of the times when I am happy but my family members are not happy at all that I am happy.
And then times when Im unhappy but my family pretends that I am not unhappy at all, as it would embarass them for others to know I am unhappy.

I have no idea what tv show standards are for families since I dont really watch tv, as far as I know there are no tv show standards for families...
of course God doesnt make mistakes but people do. And people have families dont they.
Jesus didnt make his own family he spent most of his life trying to reconcile all of existing Israel together as the twelve tribes again into one family but even he couldnt do while he was on earth...they STILL were hating on each other.
 

Mak33

Well-known member
Nov 12, 2019
373
369
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#9
There are happy families, far from perfect but close enough, She is a pastors daughter she was gang raped by 6 men when she was 14 years old, struggle thru her teens, married her college boyfriend, now she speaks to all woman who are a rape victims, a living testimony, she has 6 kids all home schooled by her, they are very godly families her father still preach in the church, her husband also speaks at church, they teach their kids proper bible virtues and values, kids excel in academics and are very talented and well mannered. Husband provides and give talks to men in church, they are role models for a godly family. In short, there are happy families like this. It exist when the head of the family submit and brings his members to the Lord who practice love at home. I came from a dysfunctional family so I know the difference.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#10
who is this just wondering.
is it only pastors daughters families that are happy. Or pastors families, since they are born in raised in church.
Bad things can happen to pastors families sure, but since they are already born in to their church would they just be happy anyway no matter what happens to them?

I think of some pastors families I know, one pastors parents had divorced, but his family seem happy although most of their children are split and scattered by country and so dont live together or see each other anymore, same as another pastors family, he lives on his own, his wife has died and his children and grandchildren are in other countries some have split too. They dont attend their dads church. I cant say if they are happy or not as I dont see them in church but he does sees them from time to time, although now becaus of covid its harder to travel.

another pastor whos the junior pastor has a younger family of girls that are achool age, the mother is a teacher but not a homeschooler, she works in public schools. The daughters of course attend the same church as their parents. They have moved quite a bit but now seem settled and close to their aunt and grandmother. I think I would say they are fairly happy althouh the mother doesnt say much as the dad is always the one whos speaking.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#11
From what I see of pastors children they are seem well mannered and involved in church activities although this may be just because they practically live at church.

I think its harder for non preachers children to be involved with church ministires or activities at times, although its probably easier to be involved with para church ministries not connected with just one church. Sometimes you wonder are children of pastors just doing whats expected or obligated to do, or have they come to the Lord of their own free will.

I have heard that parents do sometimes boast that their child is godly without any intrvention on their part!
 

Mak33

Well-known member
Nov 12, 2019
373
369
63
#12
who is this just wondering.
is it only pastors daughters families that are happy. Or pastors families, since they are born in raised in church.
Bad things can happen to pastors families sure, but since they are already born in to their church would they just be happy anyway no matter what happens to them?

I think of some pastors families I know, one pastors parents had divorced, but his family seem happy although most of their children are split and scattered by country and so dont live together or see each other anymore, same as another pastors family, he lives on his own, his wife has died and his children and grandchildren are in other countries some have split too. They dont attend their dads church. I cant say if they are happy or not as I dont see them in church but he does sees them from time to time, although now becaus of covid its harder to travel.

another pastor whos the junior pastor has a younger family of girls that are achool age, the mother is a teacher but not a homeschooler, she works in public schools. The daughters of course attend the same church as their parents. They have moved quite a bit but now seem settled and close to their aunt and grandmother. I think I would say they are fairly happy althouh the mother doesnt say much as the dad is always the one whos speaking.
Hi, actually most pastors kids are most prone to living away from faith, when pastors don't implement the teachings at home, or they focus too much on ministry then tend to forget to tend to their own homes, I have seen so many pastors kids that have been, but this Family is solid Lol they are a role model. They teach family values in the church and the main head pastors says it should start at home and I believe him.

He is Pastor Peter Tan-Chi you can google their life story and his kids life testimony.
 
Jul 6, 2020
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#13
Does anybody feel they were born into the wrong family before they got adopted into Gods one?
Or are most christians already born into the 'right' family. And what even makes it right or legit?

Just wondering...if there are actually any perfect families out there.
We are children of our mothers and fathers as per Gods design.
we all are children of Adam and Even, all born into their family with their iniquities hidden away in our hearts waiting for the chance to mature.
I think physical families who follow Christ change / minimize what they pass down the line.
The sin that you overcome in yourself you children will not have that same depth of struggle to deal with.
Perhaps you are the first in a new line for your physical family for what will be its future in Christ Jesus.

Perfect families require perfect people.
Perfect Fathers and Mothers, perfect sons and daughters.
In Jesus you can be perfected in His love and often times he will send you back home to share that love with your family before sending you on to living your life for Him.

Gods People are you family now, if you are one of us, if you are united with the Spirit of God in Christ Jesus, if Christ Jesus has been fully formed in you then you have been born into a new family, a new race a new nation of a new kind of people.
Everyone is born into the wrong family you might say. that is why everyone must be born again into the family of God.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#14
Hi, actually most pastors kids are most prone to living away from faith, when pastors don't implement the teachings at home, or they focus too much on ministry then tend to forget to tend to their own homes, I have seen so many pastors kids that have been, but this Family is solid Lol they are a role model. They teach family values in the church and the main head pastors says it should start at home and I believe him.

He is Pastor Peter Tan-Chi you can google their life story and his kids life testimony.
I will look him up. It does say in the Bible to have the office of a bishop (or pastor) that you need to know how to rule your OWN family well, before you can look after others in church. I think that makes sense.

thats is true that some pastors are either too heavy handed at home and put their children off, or conversely rather neglectful. I dont think its easy no matter how many children you have. From what I observe if husband and wife are a true team the family is much better off.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
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#15
We are children of our mothers and fathers as per Gods design.
we all are children of Adam and Even, all born into their family with their iniquities hidden away in our hearts waiting for the chance to mature.
I think physical families who follow Christ change / minimize what they pass down the line.
The sin that you overcome in yourself you children will not have that same depth of struggle to deal with.
Perhaps you are the first in a new line for your physical family for what will be its future in Christ Jesus.

Perfect families require perfect people.
Perfect Fathers and Mothers, perfect sons and daughters.
In Jesus you can be perfected in His love and often times he will send you back home to share that love with your family before sending you on to living your life for Him.

Gods People are you family now, if you are one of us, if you are united with the Spirit of God in Christ Jesus, if Christ Jesus has been fully formed in you then you have been born into a new family, a new race a new nation of a new kind of people.
Everyone is born into the wrong family you might say. that is why everyone must be born again into the family of God.
True I wonder how much sin one most overcome if its true that the sins of the father are visited to the next generations...say you come from a long line of addicts and drunkards or thieves and murderers and you know no other way of life....how difficult it would be to break away. I guess thats why many people choose to emigrate. or marry into other families.

But even doing that, it wont get you free from sin. The only way to get free from sin is to trust in Jesus to be born again.
 
Jul 6, 2020
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#16
True I wonder how much sin one most overcome if its true that the sins of the father are visited to the next generations...say you come from a long line of addicts and drunkards or thieves and murderers and you know no other way of life....how difficult it would be to break away. I guess thats why many people choose to emigrate. or marry into other families.

But even doing that, it wont get you free from sin. The only way to get free from sin is to trust in Jesus to be born again.
That is what makes it possible.
Without it everything is just rearranging the furniture.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
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#17
or you could come from a long line of gamblers and con artists.
I really dont know all my family history further than my grandparents. Jesus boasted of several dodgy characters in HIS earthly lineage....
 
P

Papou

Guest
#18
Does anybody feel they were born into the wrong family before they got adopted into Gods one?...

Just wondering...if there are actually any perfect families out there.
Perfect no, but caring families yes. Poor as Croesus but happy as Lazzaro ! As Jesus used to say: Takes care of the people and everything will be great !
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#19
Perfect no, but caring families yes. Poor as Croesus but happy as Lazzaro ! As Jesus used to say: Takes care of the people and everything will be great !
good for you
I think caring families are those that dont throw you under the bus. There seem to plenty who come from families who are 'every man for themselves' and dont collectively care for one another.
For example, if one is sick or loses their job, how do they treat the ill or unemployed family member. Do they deliberately abandon them?
Not to mention families that excommunicate one another through divorce.

I would say drug abuse or addiction is something else though, very hard to deal with especially parents who are drug addicted with children who are dependent on them. Social workers are constantly called into families that have this struggle, and often end up taking them onto state care. Its not so much 'the wrong family' rather than alcohol is part of the problem. People tend to think its only cos a family is poor that theres problems, but rich people have those addiction issues as well. Its just more accepted as its disguised I reckon. And they can afford nannies and such. Though throwing money at a problem doesnt always work.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
2,058
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#20
Romans 8:28.

God's will isn't found in the circumstances of our unsaved past, but in His use of our past for His purpose and glory. It shapes who we are. God uses who we are.
I like this but I am uncertain if I agree or not, will you elaborate a bit?

Romans 8:28 is one of my favorite verses and the second part of your statement I definitely agree with but the first seems to be the same.

I don't have much experience with an unsaved past...unless the moment I accepted Jesus as my savior wasn't the "actual" moment of salvation (which I am open to that being the case). So I suppose it is difficult for me as I've seen the Lord in pretty much everything for most of my life, but it could be I "read" him into everything in a way that isn't correct somehow. Lately I've been wondering if we "can" do that at least. A well meaning error but still potential error. Thoughts?