Broken families, broken kids

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,115
4,003
113
#1
Hands up if you look after broken kids...how do you effectively reach out to them?

It might be their dads in jail or they dont even know their dad. They may have dozens of half siblings they may not even know about. They seem rebellious and always talking back. Maybe they are just hungry. They take up more of your time than the well behaved children and are disruptive, attention seeking or just plain rude.

How do you handle them? What can we pray for them? Or do we just separate them from other children?
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
4,187
3,056
113
#2
"Handle them with LOVE!
And, in so doing, I personally learned how it forever changed my life. Twenty two years ago
we took in a child from an abusive surrounding. The effects are heart breaking how a child
can be effected by a hostile or abusive environment, it has to be witnessed. We went through
all the ups and downs, and even times of tears, we maintained expressing our love. Gradually
the child became stable and adjusted well. We adopted our grandson, and today he is a loving
and caring adult that we are very thankful for. LOVE is the best therapy, it's priceless."


BLOG PIC TWO.png
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
34,393
12,074
113
66
Tennessee
#3
Hands up if you look after broken kids...how do you effectively reach out to them?

It might be their dads in jail or they dont even know their dad. They may have dozens of half siblings they may not even know about. They seem rebellious and always talking back. Maybe they are just hungry. They take up more of your time than the well behaved children and are disruptive, attention seeking or just plain rude.

How do you handle them? What can we pray for them? Or do we just separate them from other children?
How does one separate God's children from other God's children? Being disruptive, attention seeking, and just plain rude describes most children at one time or another.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
17,840
9,809
113
#4
Hands up if you look after broken kids...how do you effectively reach out to them?

It might be their dads in jail or they dont even know their dad. They may have dozens of half siblings they may not even know about. They seem rebellious and always talking back. Maybe they are just hungry. They take up more of your time than the well behaved children and are disruptive, attention seeking or just plain rude.

How do you handle them? What can we pray for them? Or do we just separate them from other children?
Perhaps it was not your intention, but your statements (in bold) put the blame solely on the fathers. I'd strongly encourage you to rethink that. It takes two to tango; mothers are often at fault for broken homes. I have more thoughts on the topic, but I don't see any point in shoring up an unbalanced view of the causes.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,115
4,003
113
#5
How does one separate God's children from other God's children? Being disruptive, attention seeking, and just plain rude describes most children at one time or another.
So if they hitting and Yelling and screaming at each other you dont separate them? If they making each other cry you do nothing?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,115
4,003
113
#6
"Handle them with LOVE!
And, in so doing, I personally learned how it forever changed my life. Twenty two years ago
we took in a child from an abusive surrounding. The effects are heart breaking how a child
can be effected by a hostile or abusive environment, it has to be witnessed. We went through
all the ups and downs, and even times of tears, we maintained expressing our love. Gradually
the child became stable and adjusted well. We adopted our grandson, and today he is a loving
and caring adult that we are very thankful for. LOVE is the best therapy, it's priceless."


View attachment 206030
Aw, how did they cope with the other children..? Or were there no other children was it just that child you adopted?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
34,393
12,074
113
66
Tennessee
#7
So if they hitting and Yelling and screaming at each other you dont separate them? If they making each other cry you do nothing?
Yeah, give 'em a time-out.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,115
4,003
113
#8
Yeah, give 'em a time-out.
Do you say to them go to their room or what. Can you be specific on what you do. It would be helpful.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
34,393
12,074
113
66
Tennessee
#9
Do you say to them go to their room or what. Can you be specific on what you do. It would be helpful.
They could either go to their room if one is available or sit in a corner. Of course, you would separate quarreling children. My understanding of the OP was if you should prohibit contact between the good kids and the bad kids.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,115
4,003
113
#10
They could either go to their room if one is available or sit in a corner. Of course, you would separate quarreling children. My understanding of the OP was if you should prohibit contact between the good kids and the bad kids.
Ok just wondering what to do in a school envronment thats all. I do tell fighting kids to leave each other alone and chill out. Sometimes requires physical separation. Bit hard when its like 30 kids in one room. But I might try it.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,115
4,003
113
#11
Im going to ask some teachers what strategies they use but some of them dont seem to have strategies. Im not their teacher just the librarian. They would be on best behaviour for the principal or deputy but not for me. Lol I see them at their worst.

Yesterday children were calling each other names and it was a big drama. This is in their free time lunchtime so any discipline seems to go out the window.
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
4,187
3,056
113
#12
Aw, how did they cope with the other children..? Or were there no other children was it just that child you adopted?
"Just the one, but after we took him in, he became better adjusted with other children,
plus his own brother and sister. CPS was involved, but we got legal guardianship thru
court."
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,115
4,003
113
#13
"Just the one, but after we took him in, he became better adjusted with other children,
plus his own brother and sister. CPS was involved, but we got legal guardianship thru
court."
Did he cope with school or was it just too overwhelming for him?
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
4,187
3,056
113
#14
Did he cope with school or was it just too overwhelming for him?
"It was a challenge, believe it. A long story involved here of the parents, my daughter. Of no
value to go into details. My personal experience spans many years of dealing with family issues.
Have been to support groups, doctors and lawyers. By the grace of God, after my life changed,
I learned God equipped me with the necessary means to not only help our personal family issues',
but also to help others with similar problems. Now more than ever, I firmly believe, without
a spiritual insight, families will struggle with issues that are tearing the core out of family values."
108198622-silhouette-of-man-praying-at-dusk-gettyimages - Copy - Copy (3) - Copy.jpg
 
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
882
113
#15
Perhaps it was not your intention, but your statements (in bold) put the blame solely on the fathers. I'd strongly encourage you to rethink that. It takes two to tango; mothers are often at fault for broken homes. I have more thoughts on the topic, but I don't see any point in shoring up an unbalanced view of the causes.
Hey Dino, I happen to be one of those single fathers ( for 10 years )and could'nt be happier. You would'nt believe how many T.V. shows stereotype Fathers in this way. It irks me to no end...
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
34,393
12,074
113
66
Tennessee
#16
Im going to ask some teachers what strategies they use but some of them dont seem to have strategies. Im not their teacher just the librarian. They would be on best behaviour for the principal or deputy but not for me. Lol I see them at their worst.

Yesterday children were calling each other names and it was a big drama. This is in their free time lunchtime so any discipline seems to go out the window.
The school is fortunate to have you as a librarian.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,115
4,003
113
#17
"It was a challenge, believe it. A long story involved here of the parents, my daughter. Of no
value to go into details. My personal experience spans many years of dealing with family issues.
Have been to support groups, doctors and lawyers. By the grace of God, after my life changed,
I learned God equipped me with the necessary means to not only help our personal family issues',
but also to help others with similar problems. Now more than ever, I firmly believe, without
a spiritual insight, families will struggle with issues that are tearing the core out of family values."
View attachment 206046
Thank God for grandparents. Or godparents.
 
Jun 20, 2019
7
14
3
#18
Praying for all children living without anyone to guide them according to God’s will
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,115
4,003
113
#19
Hey Dino, I happen to be one of those single fathers ( for 10 years )and could'nt be happier. You would'nt believe how many T.V. shows stereotype Fathers in this way. It irks me to no end...
Sorry I dont mean to stereotype single parents. Its hard, even if widowed. Singles parents can be single for many reasons but no way does it NOT affect children in ways that are deeper than we might think, and sometimes damage doesnt show till years later.

I am blessed to have relatively intact extended family, and a stable upbringing although there is brokenness with some members on my dads side. But even so rejection and neglect affected ME spiritually. A 2 year old may not remember, but trauma does affect the body when family bonds are broken
 
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
882
113
#20
Sorry I dont mean to stereotype single parents. Its hard, even if widowed. Singles parents can be single for many reasons but no way does it NOT affect children in ways that are deeper than we might think, and sometimes damage doesnt show till years later.

I am blessed to have relatively intact extended family, and a stable upbringing although there is brokenness with some members on my dads side. But even so rejection and neglect affected ME spiritually. A 2 year old may not remember, but trauma does affect the body when family bonds are broken
You did it again! LOL... Assuming that single fathers are widowed... New series on T.V. " the Unicorn " about a widowed Father. And when you see a single mother it's because the father is a dead beat... It has'nt been easy to say the least but we make it work. I am trying to give her the functional life I never had. She is into theatre, sports and maintains an A average and is a very loving child. I thank God for her everyday...