Can a man love ONLY ONE woman?

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Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
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#81
Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures. Only someone with a sick mind wouldn't understand the point of being able to love multiple people at once. And what I said about Paul is factual if you know scripture. Your response has provided all the information I need to know about your knowledge or lack thereof. You need to really dig deep into scripture before approaching me with silly replies. Thanks


The only thing sicker than comparing parent's love for children to the love between men and women is defending it.
 

Krumbeard

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2019
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#82
Love is not feelings. Those emotional warm fuzzies are hormone driven lust. Love is to actively participate in and work toward someone's best interest, with out regard to ones own personal feelings.
The warm fuzzies, and feeling of satisfaction, and the feeling of close connection should be a result of mutual investment into the best for each other.
It would not be possible for me to have those feelings for any other woman than my wife because we have work so hard together and have gone through so much together. Our closeness is because a since of shared life experience.
Sure some young thang could come flaggin and waggin, and cause me to have the warm fuzzies but that's not love it's lust. She could even make me feel good about myself while she came around, that's not love either. That too is lust. This can happen to any man or woman, it causes affairs and cheating and destroys marriages and families. So when it invariably happens I think of the investment I have in a lifetime with my wife and I laugh and walk away knowing it's the devil who comes to steal kill and destroy.
Why do people not understand the distinction between love and lust? This has always baffled me, even before I was a Christian.
Well said! Thank you.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
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#83
After some reflection, I realized that a man could love more than one woman. I still love the three I lost, and still miss them-at times.
 
Apr 26, 2012
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#84
I see this thread started back in December, but, it's a great topic so thought I would join in. The answer is if a man loves more than one woman, it's grounds for divorce. And the words, "preferably his wife," and "concurrently," are a little scary. can't find the post, but the lady who said, "I trust him," is the key to all relationships. But, it's a boundary issue also. A married man should not talk with a lady other than his wife in a personal way or personal setting. This can create be a boundary challenge for a pastor or others who must deal with personal issues of non-married members. In that case, they should let another lady guide the person, and get her permission to talk to the pastor about any issues that require more assistance.

As far as the Bible, those concubines were not the norm, and God apparently allowed it because He was dealing with a lot of nutty people and had to just work with what He had to get the job done. But, Solomon, who had concubines, lost his favor with God, and Solomon was unhappy and said "everything was like chasing the wind.". He tried wine, women, working, partying, wealth, building great orchards and irrigation aquaducts, but it was not enough in the end. I think it was because his relationship with God suffered from his lifestyle.
From what it Sounds like here, monkeys, eagles, and swans have more loyalty than most men, except the Lochness dinosaur thing.
 
Dec 12, 2013
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#85
Is it possible that a man can ONLY LOVE ONE woman?

God created ONE WOMAN for Adam, yet the kings of Israel had so many wives.

Probably need some kind of a definition of "love" so, I'm asking about a man loving a woman with all his body, soul and spirit.

Feel free to define love in the way you understand it.

I look forward to reading your posts!

But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
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#86
But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites
Yes, Solomon did love many. How did that work out for him..............:unsure:

I wonder if some men took in concubines as charity cases because a woman without a husband or sons was destitute..........:unsure:

In Proverbs 31, King Lemuel's mother describes a virtuous woman as buying a field, planting a vineyard, making fine linen and selling it................ she sounds very prosperous to me, not a charity case at all, although she does have a husband and children.

What is it that would join ONE man and ONE woman together and both remain faithfully committed and in love for the duration of their marriage till death they do part?

I have come to believe that ONLY with God is it possible for a man to love only his wife and the wife to love only her husband. It takes God.

First, a person needs a loving and faithful commit to God before they can faithfully commit to another person and God has to always remain as "first love" for both of them. God will watch over them and keep them in all their ways.
 
Dec 12, 2013
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#87
Yes, Solomon did love many. How did that work out for him..............:unsure:

I wonder if some men took in concubines as charity cases because a woman without a husband or sons was destitute..........:unsure:

In Proverbs 31, King Lemuel's mother describes a virtuous woman as buying a field, planting a vineyard, making fine linen and selling it................ she sounds very prosperous to me, not a charity case at all, although she does have a husband and children.

What is it that would join ONE man and ONE woman together and both remain faithfully committed and in love for the duration of their marriage till death they do part?

I have come to believe that ONLY with God is it possible for a man to love only his wife and the wife to love only her husband. It takes God.

First, a person needs a loving and faithful commit to God before they can faithfully commit to another person and God has to always remain as "first love" for both of them. God will watch over them and keep them in all their ways.
Believe it or not I have studied this dia a discussion when in Seminary.....and there were apparent anomalies in the bible....numerous faithful, righteous men had more than one wife......in Solomon's case (he had 1000 women) he was led into error in his old age by building groves unto the idols that the wives he had from the nations around him.....

Abraham Sarah, Hagar and Keturah after the death of Sarah and --> Abraham also had many concubines who bore him many sons (Genesis 11:29, 16:3, 25:1, I Chronicles 1:32). “Unto the sons of the concubines, which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts, and sent them away from Isaac his son…” (Genesis 25:6)

Jacob had 2 wives and 2 handmaidens --> God also blessed Jacob who begat the fathers of the twelve tribes of Israel with two wives, Leah and Rachel, and two concubines, Bilhah and Zilpah (Genesis 29:23-30, 30:4-9, 32:22)

David --> The apple of God’s eye, the Psalmist David, blessed man of God, also through whom the Saviour of the world came, had many wives (II Samuel 3:2-5, 5:13)

Gideon --> The Lord is with thee, thou mighty man of valour” (Judges 6:12). “And Gideon had threescore and ten sons of his body begotten: for he had many wives” (Judges 8:30).

Elkanah, a Levite, the father of the prophet Samuel, had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah, and Elkanah was not a rich man (I Samuel 1:1-2)

And numerous other verses that pointed to righteous princes of Judah having numerous wives....

Read --> (Deuteronomy 21:15-17

JUST giving info for your thread...not that I am promoting anything ;)
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
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#88
Believe it or not I have studied this dia a discussion when in Seminary.....and there were apparent anomalies in the bible....numerous faithful, righteous men had more than one wife......in Solomon's case (he had 1000 women) he was led into error in his old age by building groves unto the idols that the wives he had from the nations around him.....

Abraham Sarah, Hagar and Keturah after the death of Sarah and --> Abraham also had many concubines who bore him many sons (Genesis 11:29, 16:3, 25:1, I Chronicles 1:32). “Unto the sons of the concubines, which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts, and sent them away from Isaac his son…” (Genesis 25:6)

Jacob had 2 wives and 2 handmaidens --> God also blessed Jacob who begat the fathers of the twelve tribes of Israel with two wives, Leah and Rachel, and two concubines, Bilhah and Zilpah (Genesis 29:23-30, 30:4-9, 32:22)

David --> The apple of God’s eye, the Psalmist David, blessed man of God, also through whom the Saviour of the world came, had many wives (II Samuel 3:2-5, 5:13)

Gideon --> The Lord is with thee, thou mighty man of valour” (Judges 6:12). “And Gideon had threescore and ten sons of his body begotten: for he had many wives” (Judges 8:30).

Elkanah, a Levite, the father of the prophet Samuel, had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah, and Elkanah was not a rich man (I Samuel 1:1-2)

And numerous other verses that pointed to righteous princes of Judah having numerous wives....

Read --> (Deuteronomy 21:15-17

JUST giving info for your thread...not that I am promoting anything ;)
Hi dc,

Thank you for all the info!

And numerous other verses that pointed to righteous princes of Judah having numerous wives....

Read --> (Deuteronomy 21:15-17

JUST giving info for your thread...not that I am promoting anything ;)
Deuteronomy 21:15-17 King James Version (KJV)
15 If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated:

16 Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn:

17 But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his.


Yes, it is true that many kings and righteous men had more than one wife. Yet, God only made ONE woman for Adam.............:unsure:
 
Dec 12, 2013
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#90
Hi dc,

Thank you for all the info!



Deuteronomy 21:15-17 King James Version (KJV)
15 If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated:

16 Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn:

17 But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his.

Yes, it is true that many kings and righteous men had more than one wife. Yet, God only made ONE woman for Adam.............:unsure:
Of course.........never said other wise......... ;)
 
Apr 26, 2012
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#91
But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites
Even if Solomon loved many strange women, from many strange lands, together with the daughter of Pharoah, I think the point here is that he still could not love many strange women TOGETHER, or strangers together either, probably could be a problem.
Maybe just one woman faithfully from strange lands...
 

soberxp

Senior Member
May 3, 2018
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#92
My understanding of this is the same as described in the Quran, that is, if you can't love more than one women fairly, then you can only choose to love one . and I always think we should love only one.
 
Dec 12, 2013
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#93
Even if Solomon loved many strange women, from many strange lands, together with the daughter of Pharoah, I think the point here is that he still could not love many strange women TOGETHER, or strangers together either, probably could be a problem.
Maybe just one woman faithfully from strange lands...
yeah I was just referencing scripture for the sake of the thread and the original question....
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
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#94
Confucious seemed to have a firmer understanding of how relationships work than many modern Christians,
"Try to know many women and you will know none; Know one women and you will know many."
 

soberxp

Senior Member
May 3, 2018
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#95
Confucious seemed to have a firmer understanding of how relationships work than many modern Christians,
"Try to know many women and you will know none; Know one women and you will know many."
As a Chinese, I did not know Confucius said this sentence, I only know that Confucius said that people are originally good.Man's nature at birth is good.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
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#96
As a Chinese, I did not know Confucius said this sentence, I only know that Confucius said that people are originally good.Man's nature at birth is good.
It was not my intention to be redirecting the thread towards Confucius. My bad.
 
P

Papou

Guest
#97
Is it possible that a man can ONLY LOVE ONE woman?...!
Most of the men I know love only one women, their spouse ! They love them, trust them and they count on each others ! So I would say yes to your question...
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
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#98
Sorry guys, but it really makes me sick to think that a man can't love only one woman and that a man would need more than one woman to be satisfied...I know they had many in the OT, but it still sounds nasty and perverted. Polygamy sounds like nothing but continuous adultery too me, and I don't see how anyone could live in a situation like that...just couldn't imagine the jealousy, hurt feelings, and arguments that would go on in a situation like that....
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
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Philippines Age 40
#99
Oh and in my opinion, I don't think we should use the OT as a guide for relationships or relationship advice. Sounds like it was much different times back in those days.

Abraham married his half sister....

Lot's daughters got him drunk so they could get pregnant by him, their own father...

A man throws his concubine out to a bunch of men, she got gang raped and then he cuts her up in 12 pieces and sent her body parts out to the tribes.

There is not much difference as of today. Just watch the news and you will be depressed by reality that human beings are capable of that much evil.
 

Silverwings

Senior Member
Jul 27, 2016
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