Can a single Christian only wait for god to prepare his spouse instead of actively seeking one?

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rong

Active member
Nov 20, 2018
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china
#1
I'd like to ask one more question. In the Chinese church, some people believe that the marriage of single christians should be completely under the guidance of god and they should not take the initiative to seek marriage. In this way, they will surpass god and should only wait for god to prepare a partner. Is that right? I'm a single mother. I've been single for 18 years. I have believed in god for 16 years, but I have never met a suitable Christian to marry because there are not many single brothers in the church.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#2
I'd like to ask one more question. In the Chinese church, some people believe that the marriage of single christians should be completely under the guidance of god and they should not take the initiative to seek marriage. In this way, they will surpass god and should only wait for god to prepare a partner. Is that right? I'm a single mother. I've been single for 18 years. I have believed in god for 16 years, but I have never met a suitable Christian to marry because there are not many single brothers in the church.
You may have to consider pursuing a relationship leading to marriage with a man that is outside the church but yet is a Christian. I have read many times in various threads on this site about waiting for God's perfect timing before even considering a relationship. My first marriage was a disaster, got married at age 23 and divorced 6 1/2 years later. Oddly, like yourself, I waiting 18 years too before praying about possibly finding a suitable, faithful, loving wife and when an opportunity presented itself I took positive action. In my estimation, waiting for 'God's perfect timing is code for being afraid to pursue a loving enduring relationship out of fear of the unknown.
 

rong

Active member
Nov 20, 2018
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china
#3
Yes, thank you for your sincere reply and advice. I have read those articles and listened to many such teachings, and have been waiting until now. About a year ago, I began to realize that not only do I pray, but I should also actively look for it. But I paid a lot of money and time, and I got nothing from Christian dating websites and matchmaking agencies. There were too many cheaters. I was disappointed. I wonder if you are lucky enough to meet your spouse now. God bless you!
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
32,422
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#4
Yes, thank you for your sincere reply and advice. I have read those articles and listened to many such teachings, and have been waiting until now. About a year ago, I began to realize that not only do I pray, but I should also actively look for it. But I paid a lot of money and time, and I got nothing from Christian dating websites and matchmaking agencies. There were too many cheaters. I was disappointed. I wonder if you are lucky enough to meet your spouse now. God bless you!
I met my wife on this very site who is also a member shortly after I joined. God has blessed me greatly since the day that I joined over 4 years ago. I pray for a tremendous blessing for you as well. You are very right, first you pray and then you become an active participant. Yes, there are many cheaters but there are also a few kind and decent Christians that would be loving in faithful in marriage. God bless you as well.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
8,655
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#5
When people talk about the will of God, they mistakenly place it into only two categories.

1. You sit idly, doing nothing, and wait for God to work supernaturally, completely outside of you.
2. You ignore God, and completely relying on only your own will, you go out and do something on your own without any help from God.

This is a false dichotomy.

Biblically, we most often see believers TAKING INITIATE, but doing so as DIRECTED BY GOD.
So that in reality, we are neither acting on our own without God, nor waiting for God to move outside of us.
Rather, we are most often waiting for God to move INSIDE of us, to give us direction in which WE should take action.

There are plenty of times God moves entirely outside of us, and with no input from us.
But if we're talking about understanding God's will for our lives, then most generally God moves INSIDE of us, and directs us to TAKE ACTION.

...
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
32,422
10,395
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65
Florida
#6
When people talk about the will of God, they mistakenly place it into only two categories.

1. You sit idly, doing nothing, and wait for God to work supernaturally, completely outside of you.
2. You ignore God, and completely relying on only your own will, you go out and do something on your own without any help from God.

This is a false dichotomy.

Biblically, we most often see believers TAKING INITIATE, but doing so as DIRECTED BY GOD.
So that in reality, we are neither acting on our own without God, nor waiting for God to move outside of us.
Rather, we are most often waiting for God to move INSIDE of us, to give us direction in which WE should take action.

There are plenty of times God moves entirely outside of us, and with no input from us.
But if we're talking about understanding God's will for our lives, then most generally God moves INSIDE of us, and directs us to TAKE ACTION.

...
These are words of wisdom sir taken from your vast life experience.
 

GodsGrace101

Well-known member
Sep 14, 2018
2,225
517
113
#7
I'd like to ask one more question. In the Chinese church, some people believe that the marriage of single christians should be completely under the guidance of god and they should not take the initiative to seek marriage. In this way, they will surpass god and should only wait for god to prepare a partner. Is that right? I'm a single mother. I've been single for 18 years. I have believed in god for 16 years, but I have never met a suitable Christian to marry because there are not many single brothers in the church.
Do you know the story about the man owned a house in a flooded area and went up to the roof to save himself and prayed and prayed to God to come and save him.

A man in a boat passed by and asked if he could help the stranded man on the roof.
The man said,,,no, I'm waiting for God to save me.

Then a helicopter flew by and sent him down a rope to climb up, but the man on the roof refused and told the pilot he was waiting for God to save him.

By that evening the man on the roof was tired and wet and hungry and a little mad at God and started to complain to God that He never came by to save him.

The man heard a voice from heaven say:
I SENT YOU A BOAT...
I SENT YOU A HELICOPTER...
WHAT MORE COULD I DO??

Stop waiting for God to do everything for you.
Do some things yourself...God will be in everything you do if you love Him.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,738
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Germany
#8
God won't just put a good man at urdoorstep. Of course he is a matchmaker but u have ur part too
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
32,422
10,395
113
65
Florida
#9
Do you know the story about the man owned a house in a flooded area and went up to the roof to save himself and prayed and prayed to God to come and save him.

A man in a boat passed by and asked if he could help the stranded man on the roof.
The man said,,,no, I'm waiting for God to save me.

Then a helicopter flew by and sent him down a rope to climb up, but the man on the roof refused and told the pilot he was waiting for God to save him.

By that evening the man on the roof was tired and wet and hungry and a little mad at God and started to complain to God that He never came by to save him.

The man heard a voice from heaven say:
I SENT YOU A BOAT...
I SENT YOU A HELICOPTER...
WHAT MORE COULD I DO??

Stop waiting for God to do everything for you.
Do some things yourself...God will be in everything you do if you love Him.
This reminds me of the story of a poor guy that prayed for God to let him win the lottery. After waiting a few years he got discouraged and asked God how much longer he had to wait. God told him that he could at least meet Him half-way and actually buy a lottery ticket.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
2,123
1,745
113
#10
I'd like to ask one more question. In the Chinese church, some people believe that the marriage of single christians should be completely under the guidance of god and they should not take the initiative to seek marriage. In this way, they will surpass god and should only wait for god to prepare a partner. Is that right? I'm a single mother. I've been single for 18 years. I have believed in god for 16 years, but I have never met a suitable Christian to marry because there are not many single brothers in the church.
Marriage is never promised. Most Christian's hate hearing that, but it's the truth. I think learning to accept that is a greater priority. Maybe it will happen, maybe not.
 

rong

Active member
Nov 20, 2018
125
120
43
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china
#11
I met my wife on this very site who is also a member shortly after I joined. God has blessed me greatly since the day that I joined over 4 years ago. I pray for a tremendous blessing for you as well. You are very right, first you pray and then you become an active participant. Yes, there are many cheaters but there are also a few kind and decent Christians that would be loving in faithful in marriage. God bless you as well.
Thank you. Your testimony has been an inspiration to me. After many setbacks, I should rely more on god. God bless your marriage!
 

rong

Active member
Nov 20, 2018
125
120
43
50
china
#12
Do you know the story about the man owned a house in a flooded area and went up to the roof to save himself and prayed and prayed to God to come and save him.

A man in a boat passed by and asked if he could help the stranded man on the roof.
The man said,,,no, I'm waiting for God to save me.

Then a helicopter flew by and sent him down a rope to climb up, but the man on the roof refused and told the pilot he was waiting for God to save him.

By that evening the man on the roof was tired and wet and hungry and a little mad at God and started to complain to God that He never came by to save him.

The man heard a voice from heaven say:
I SENT YOU A BOAT...
I SENT YOU A HELICOPTER...
WHAT MORE COULD I DO??

Stop waiting for God to do everything for you.
Do some things yourself...God will be in everything you do if you love Him.
Thank you for your encouragement. I will try my best to find the one god has prepared for me. Although it seems a little late now, I seem to have missed many opportunities, but I believe in god and he is faithful. I did what I could, and the results were given to him, and I obeyed the results he gave me.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
8,073
2,942
113
#13
Ruth's mother in law was a bit of a matchmaker so...if you read the book of Ruth, Boaz needed a bit of prompting...he got cold feet. Its not always the men who initiate.

May you find your Boaz.
 

rong

Active member
Nov 20, 2018
125
120
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china
#14
Ruth's mother in law was a bit of a matchmaker so...if you read the book of Ruth, Boaz needed a bit of prompting...he got cold feet. Its not always the men who initiate.

May you find your Boaz.
Thank you for your blessing. I am familiar with this story and I like Ruth to remember it. I believe in god for 16 years and I have always liked this story. I want to meet my own boaz.
 

GodsGrace101

Well-known member
Sep 14, 2018
2,225
517
113
#15
Thank you for your encouragement. I will try my best to find the one god has prepared for me. Although it seems a little late now, I seem to have missed many opportunities, but I believe in god and he is faithful. I did what I could, and the results were given to him, and I obeyed the results he gave me.
It's never too late.
My aunt had a marriage proposal when she was in her early 80's!!
(Hope you don't have to wait that long!)
In the meantime, enjoy your life...be happy with how you are.
 

rong

Active member
Nov 20, 2018
125
120
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50
china
#16
It's never too late.
My aunt had a marriage proposal when she was in her early 80's!!
(Hope you don't have to wait that long!)
In the meantime, enjoy your life...be happy with how you are.
Thank you, this is an encouragement to me, I have been single for 18 years, do not want to continue, but I hope to be married when I am 50 years old, not 80 years old, ha ha! Yes, you are right. I should enjoy my single life. It's good to go to this website, there are a lot of good people
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
32,422
10,395
113
65
Florida
#17
Thank you for your blessing. I am familiar with this story and I like Ruth to remember it. I believe in god for 16 years and I have always liked this story. I want to meet my own boaz.
I have prayed that you will.
 

GodsGrace101

Well-known member
Sep 14, 2018
2,225
517
113
#19
Thank you, this is an encouragement to me, I have been single for 18 years, do not want to continue, but I hope to be married when I am 50 years old, not 80 years old, ha ha! Yes, you are right. I should enjoy my single life. It's good to go to this website, there are a lot of good people
LOL
Yes, I also hope you don't have to wait till you're 80.
You're a good looking gal....
You sound smart too.
Men must be nutty !!

Blessings...