Connecting with my home church more

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ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
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#1
So I noticed that I tend to take a lot of time on Internet-based fellowship with other Christians, and it seems like I have a harder time connecting with people in my own home church. Part of it has to do with the fact that there are not a lot of people my age in our fairly small congregation, but even then I still don’t take the time to talk with them like I should. It feels like I’m not being part of the Church family as I should. Anyone else have that issue?

What are some ways to be able to get around that sort of awkwardness of family? That place where you know pretty much all about the person but at the same time not at the deep a level.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#2
Why do you feel the need to connect with people on your home church? Perhaps you can connect with people in your next place of employment. You might even connect with a nice Christian young man too that holds your interest.
 

Jimbone

Senior Member
Aug 22, 2014
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#3
You know I've struggled with the same thing, and not only in church but also with my neighbors and everyone else too really. I have been praying for boldness lately to proclaim His name and He is answering it. He is showing me the best way is to just approach them and talk. Just simply tell them exactly what you're doing to break the ice. Something like "hey I realized I haven't been getting closer or getting to know my brothers and sisters here and just wanted to come say hi and see how you are." Pray for the boldness to do this and He will give it to you. It only seems awkward before you do it. Once the ice is broken the first time and He shows you, it gets easier. In my experiences anyway. I 100,000,000 to 1 love face to face over the computer any day. You lose so much with text only, however it is safer and much more in your control. Keep pursuing these relationships, but first and foremost pray, talk to God about it. Anyway have a great day and may He draw your church ever closer to glorify His name. Amen.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
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#4
I love it! Yeah I’ve been in the same church ever since I was a baby so I know pretty much all of these people, but it just seems like I never do them on a deeper level at all or talk to them much. And I totally know how you feel about the neighbors, honestly I have only ever talked to two neighbors in the four houses that I’ve lived in my entire life. I love it! Yeah I’ve been in the same church ever since I was a baby so I know pretty much all of these people, but it just seems like I never do them on a deeper level at all or talk to them much. And I told her know how you feel about the neighbors, honestly I have only ever talked to two neighbors in the four houses that I’ve lived in my entire life. I’m one of those weirdos that likes to be the one who participates in the conversation but not necessarily started it.

I took a step in trying to maybe connect us a little bit by making a couple of chat groups on the Phoenix Christian Assembly Facebook page. I made one for the ladies and one for the young adults, the guys can do whatever they want because I had a feeling they wouldn’t participate in any kind of chat.

First steps, yay!
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
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#5
And I have to say, I thought about the question of why I would even want to invest more in the people at my church. I think it’s just that I want to be able to encourage them and have them encourage me also. It seems like people are all gung ho about church attendance and church growth, but the in between of encouraging people and discipling people tend to kind a get tossed aside a little. And I have to say, I thought about the question of why I would even want to invest more in the people at my church. I think it’s just that I want to be able to encourage them and have them encourage me also. It seems like people are all gung ho about church attendance and church growth, but the in between of encouraging people and discipling people tends to kind a get tossed aside a little. I want to be better at that even though I in my own strength have no capability of doing that.
 

Jimbone

Senior Member
Aug 22, 2014
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#6
See that's even cooler, at least you know them. See I didn't grow up in church at all, so the whole idea of "community" was overwhelming at times. It's only by His power and direction that it's changing like it is. I think it obvious what He has put on your heart and I just want to say that it is in our weaknesses that His strength is shown. I hope you have a great day. :)
 

Homewardbound

Well-known member
Dec 10, 2018
1,046
563
113
#7
And I have to say, I thought about the question of why I would even want to invest more in the people at my church. I think it’s just that I want to be able to encourage them and have them encourage me also. It seems like people are all gung ho about church attendance and church growth, but the in between of encouraging people and discipling people tend to kind a get tossed aside a little. And I have to say, I thought about the question of why I would even want to invest more in the people at my church. I think it’s just that I want to be able to encourage them and have them encourage me also. It seems like people are all gung ho about church attendance and church growth, but the in between of encouraging people and discipling people tends to kind a get tossed aside a little. I want to be better at that even though I in my own strength have no capability of doing that.
Hey Artsie,
Sometimes it just takes stepping out.
Be the encourager God wants you to be. When you reach out to others in your church as an encouragement you'll get the response you want.
Remember, it may take time for this to happen, but it will.
Also, as it was stated before, try this outside of church too. You'll like the result.

BTW, I speak from experience, as I am a very shy person normally, but have made it a habit of reaching out in an encouraging way..
Amazing Results!

Be blessed Steph
 

Robertt

Active member
May 22, 2019
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Bahrain
#8
Churches are so different now then when I got saved 35 hrs ago . Back then we all knew each other , we went to church meeting or home bible study nearly every night . We had Sunday morning , Sunday evening meetings , Monday night home group , Tuesday night normally at a Christians house for dinner , Wednesday night another meeting , Thursday night was music practice and even those not in music would go and have coffee and fellowship , Friday night was youth group , Saturday night we always went to a big church for a hrsuruaj concert or we ran roller skating event with Christian music .
Now it only Sunday morning , no one says hi during morning tea and everyone goes home to their own home and family

Wound love to go home to my original church but in no longer live in that state
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
6,182
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Arizona
#9
God definitely came through in this, in a way I was not expecting whatsoever. One of those “it hurt during the time but I’m so happy it happened now.”

I had hormone issues that caused me to have a week or so of panic, insomnia, anxiety, and fear. But because of that, in my desperation I reached out to my church and elders in my church family. And I’m so happy God have me the wisdom to do that.
 
E

EliBeth

Guest
#10
So I noticed that I tend to take a lot of time on Internet-based fellowship with other Christians, and it seems like I have a harder time connecting with people in my own home church. Part of it has to do with the fact that there are not a lot of people my age in our fairly small congregation, but even then I still don’t take the time to talk with them like I should. It feels like I’m not being part of the Church family as I should. Anyone else have that issue?

What are some ways to be able to get around that sort of awkwardness of family? That place where you know pretty much all about the person but at the same time not at the deep a level.
(So I just now read your last post after having completed the following... I should've paid more attention! 🤦 I'm gonna go ahead and post because maybe somebody else can be encouraged by it. *Sigh 😌)


Steph, I used to be incredibly shy and introverted. Like legitimately. I was not big on engaging with people. But, my! has that changed! God has done a work in me and now I am rather extroverted. Just goes to show people can have an about-face (ESPEcially through the power of the Sovereign Lord- I give Him all the glory). *Father knows I still need work though🙂*

I have the same church situation as you do in regard to age and size of congregation. I considered trying to find a different body of believers to worship with, but I remembered God leading me to this particular church and therefore decided against leaving. I am truly so glad I stayed. God has helped me to grow in terms of learning to befriend people of all ages. I am certain this has been part of my "schooling" and preparation for whatever God has ahead for me. Now I feel comfortable around any age category and have meaningful relationships all across the board. God is good.

I just encourage you to step out and be friendly to your fellow church members regardless of their age (you may already be doing this, If so whoop whoop!). I feel confident you will find it rewarding just as I have.

My advice is to just approach someone with a smile and say a general greeting. Then begin to ask them some general questions or ?s specific to their life. Then comment in a positive, encouraging manner. I try to use a lot of understanding words and tones, e.g. yeah, I get you!, I see, that's awesome!, very good. Meanwhile smiling and keeping eye contact. Then after they respond you may think of something pertinent that would contribute to the conversation.

Trust me, the more you make yourself do it the more comfortable you will be. And it will translate into other atmospheres in your life.

As an aside, my Dad used to always tell me as a child: Be a friend to those who need a friend. So I do a lot of taking inventory of who is in the room who might feel out of place or lonely, etc and try to reach out to them first.

Hope you're having a delightful Christmas season, friend! ❤️
 
Dec 15, 2019
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#11
I have been struggling with this myself. Of course, the church is not a building. The church consists of people. The church can fellowship anywhere.
I have a hard time connecting with folks in person when there is more than one or two people present. It's almost like it's just too many distractions and I freeze. I am naturally a shy and reserved person, so this makes fellowship within a group extremely difficult.
EliBeth, I really like what you stated. It's important to pray about making connections. God can help us to be bolder.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
30,738
9,000
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65
Florida
#12
I have been struggling with this myself. Of course, the church is not a building. The church consists of people. The church can fellowship anywhere.
I have a hard time connecting with folks in person when there is more than one or two people present. It's almost like it's just too many distractions and I freeze. I am naturally a shy and reserved person, so this makes fellowship within a group extremely difficult.
EliBeth, I really like what you stated. It's important to pray about making connections. God can help us to be bolder.
I'm bit of a shy person too. I concur with your estimation on the church, that' it's not a building but rather a body of bon again believes in Jesus. He said that where 2 or 3 are gathered in His name He is in the midst of them. This is the church.
 
Aug 10, 2019
466
373
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Canada
#13
Churches are so different now then when I got saved 35 hrs ago . Back then we all knew each other , we went to church meeting or home bible study nearly every night . We had Sunday morning , Sunday evening meetings , Monday night home group , Tuesday night normally at a Christians house for dinner , Wednesday night another meeting , Thursday night was music practice and even those not in music would go and have coffee and fellowship , Friday night was youth group , Saturday night we always went to a big church for a hrsuruaj concert or we ran roller skating event with Christian music .
Now it only Sunday morning , no one says hi during morning tea and everyone goes home to their own home and family

Wound love to go home to my original church but in no longer live in that state
Its a different world than 35 years ago isn't it.

Let's see, 2019 - 35 so the year was 1984.....big changes were in full swing. I'm in Canada and we didn't even have Sunday shopping in 1984, that came in 1990....most jobs were Monday to Friday nine to five, in fact that was the title of a movie that came out around that time 'Nine to Five'. Not any more....now we worship the almighty dollar....I remember growing up in the 1970s in my public school days, and no little league or other kids sports was scheduled on a Sunday because people went to church.
 
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EliBeth

Guest
#14
I have been struggling with this myself. Of course, the church is not a building. The church consists of people. The church can fellowship anywhere.
I have a hard time connecting with folks in person when there is more than one or two people present. It's almost like it's just too many distractions and I freeze. I am naturally a shy and reserved person, so this makes fellowship within a group extremely difficult.
EliBeth, I really like what you stated. It's important to pray about making connections. God can help us to be bolder.
Thank you for your comment, NovaMonday! 🥰Most definitely, God can help us to be bolder.

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21 NASB 💙