Growing upy siblings bonded I remember they excluded me.When we got into a fight my parents took their side .. I remember when I was 16 years old my father consoling my sister referring to me as damaged crazy. I cried myself to sleep that night. I n family gatherings my siblings would be praised but they pointed out my defects/flaws described as weird. I cried my self to sleep every night would look in the mirror consoling myself mothering sweet kind things to ease the pain of their hurtful words. I allowed myself to be vulnerable in private in public I developed an over the top personality ..smiled acted confident .that made them not like me more they would say I was stuck up snob.. but I wasn't confident at all not one bit ..they succeeded they hurt me they broke me.The public image I portrayed was a lie I was acting overly confident to overcompensate for the lack of self worth and self esteem I had...to this day I have trust issues.. I have this drive desire to be a good Christian woman but how when my own family deems me as damaged and unworthy?