Does God want to save my Marriage?

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Angiejoperk

Guest
#1
My husband left me 6 weeks ago for a much younger woman. I turned it over to God, trying to walk in peace. My husband wanted to come home but still see this other woman. I said "no". I have not sought a divorce. Now my husband says he cares for her a lot and it will be hard for him (haha) but he loves me and never wants a divorce. I have started moving on without him.

I need to know if God wants me to embrace this wandering husband and be glorified in the restoration of my marriage? In order to serve God should I open my arms again to this man? I do believe God restores marriages, that it was never his plan for divorce in the first place. Though I have been freed by my husbands adultery, doesn't God ask that I forgive instead of divorcing? Isn't that what the Lord would ask of me?

I have confused myself greatly as all the answers I find in my Bible tell me to stand as a virtous woman and honor my husband. I am not responsible for what he has done, I am only responsible for my own actions.

Please prayerfully advise.
 
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dmdave17

Guest
#2
Dear friend,

I believe very much that God would want you to attempt to reconcile with your husband. But I know that it is not an easy thing to accomplish. There is a ministry that specializes in helping couples recover from adultery and put their marriages back together again. That ministry is Hope and Healing Ministries in California. It was co-founded by Gary and Mona Shriver, who still run it. They state on their web site that couples can love again, trust again, and have intimacy again. Their web site is www.hopeandhealing.us and their e-mail address is [email protected]. I encourage you to contact them. I am sure they would be happy to provide whatever support and advice they can.

Something I have learned over the past few months is that when we trust our emotions to guide us, the "wordly" input which bombards us daily will almost certainly lead us astray from God's Word. I would advise you to immerse yourself in your Bible to find out what God has to say about your situation. One thing I am sure about is this. He has said, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you.". I believe that He stands ready to comfort you, support you and provide whatever you need to get you through this time.

God be with you in your struggle. I will pray for you.
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
20
0
#3
Wow, he wants to stay married to you and still see her? That's pretty amazing.

I would suggest finding a Christian marriage counselor and see how things work out. I'm sure the counselor would tell your husband that God will not let him have two women in his life! Until he takes his marriage vow seriously, I don't think you should live with him.

Going to counseling isn't saying you have to take him back...but it's a good way to get things worked out before the choice for divorce is made. You'll have less regrets later if you're at least open to communication with him.

Praying for you....wisdom, guidance, forgiveness. May the Lord lead you in this :)
 
A

Angiejoperk

Guest
#4
Your prayers will be greatly appreciated. I too believe that God would ask me to choose to save my marriage rather than end it. I am willing as long as God is in it I know it will be okay. Thanks so much for the contact information I will definetly use it.

God Bless You
 

chuinchoy

Senior Member
Aug 14, 2012
210
0
0
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#5
1) God wants us to forgive others but there are some sins which cannot be forgiven ie, blasphemy against god, adultry, grieving the holy spirit that is in us, etc... i do believe that god will judge when the time comes.

2) out of love for us, God do restore marriages but we must cooperate with god as well. We means you and your husband.
 

DGL

Junior Member
Aug 9, 2012
4
0
0
#6
The only way reconciliation will happen is if your husband confesses that he has sinned first and foremost before God and repents. Then he will need to ask for your forgiveness. But first and foremost he must break off the relationship with the other women.

Under no circumstances should you allow your self to be stepped on and walked on by his 'wanting his cake and eating it too' attitude of "I don't want to divorce you but I still want to have sex with this other women whom I lust after" (note I did not say love, because that is not what he is doing).

Every single Christian marriage counseling book I have ever read states the same.

I would suggest you get "Love must be tough" from Dr. Dobson.

Amazon.com: Love Must Be Tough (9781590523551): James Dobson: Books

Here is the first chapter:

http://files.tyndale.com/thpdata/FirstChapters/978-1-4143-1745-8.pdf

Now with all that said, Does God want to save your marriage? Yes, but if your husband is refusing to let go of this other women and stop having sex with her and breaking your marriage covenant and vows and does not repent and turn from his sin then you are free to divorce him and move on.

Remember there is only one reason for divorce and that is adultery (emotional and especially physically). We don't have to divorce because of this but it is our only grounds for divorce. Not all can forgive the ultimate betrayal.

Since your husband has violated the marriage vows and if he does not repent then you are free to divorce and even remarry, but you should seek Christian Counseling prior to that and seek out God to be your spouse first.

I suggest you entrench your self in God's Word, Walk with God, Talk with God and use this time to get to know God and come closer to him. Get into a good Bible teaching Church if your not already in one and pray, seek God and follow his Word.
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
20
0
#7
1) God wants us to forgive others but there are some sins which cannot be forgiven ie, blasphemy against god, adultry, grieving the holy spirit that is in us, etc... i do believe that god will judge when the time comes.

2) out of love for us, God do restore marriages but we must cooperate with god as well. We means you and your husband.

Actually, the only unforgivable sin is blasphemy against God....which means rejecting Christ. Obviously, if someone rejects salvation, they will not get it. Everything else is forgivable with repentance. Thank God

 

shekaniah

Senior Member
Aug 3, 2011
4,662
12
0
#8
God hates divorce, He is on your side.
Sometimes when a man has seen the other field is not that much greener
than the one he was in...
He cultivates the one he has sooo much more.

What I mean is...
Now that he can see more clearly what he had...
he will appreciate you more, and if you are strong enough to let go of the other woman...( Not bring her up)
it will be easier for him to get closer to you.
Your marriage can be stronger than before, let go and let God work in your hearts.

My prayers go out to you both...
Love in Christ, Shekaniah
 

leelee

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
4
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#9
God wants you to be with someone who you can love and trust, to share values and a mission with, I am certain He does not want you to be with someone who you feel you cannot trust and who has shown a severe lack of respect, that said if you wish to try to make your marriage work God can do that too! In Him all things are possible so at this point pray allow God to guide you and be brave, whichever road you choose at this point will not be a short easy one xx
 

chuinchoy

Senior Member
Aug 14, 2012
210
0
0
52
#10
1) Mark 3:28-29 says, Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme:
But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation:

2) Hebrew 13:4 says, Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
 

chuinchoy

Senior Member
Aug 14, 2012
210
0
0
52
#11
Hebrew 13:4 says, Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Mark 3:28-29 says, Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme:
. But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation:
 

chuinchoy

Senior Member
Aug 14, 2012
210
0
0
52
#12
1) Mark 3:28-29 says, I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will NEVER BE FORGIVEN; he is guilty of an eternal sin.

2) Hebrews 13:4 says, Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexualy immoral.
 

Jordache

Senior Member
Mar 9, 2011
1,829
15
0
#13
God always wants to save a marriage, but He won't violate free will to do so.
 
Aug 29, 2012
298
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#14
Well, God hates divorce, God allowed for divorce in cases of abandonment as this was a just cause for divorce.

You are abandoned, now you have to decide what to do based upon your own faith and beliefs.
 
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
178
0
#15
I love studying the OT to see the principles that God orders our world with! God dealt with some pretty dysfunctional families there, and the prophets didn’t mince words speaking God’s will.

It shows a picture of God’s plan for us as living in abundance and love for each other, with “and the two shall become one” as the rule for marriage. God wants us to put Him first in our priorities and let what is good in life flow from that. But life has sin that gets that all messed up, and there is a price to pay. When we do our best and someone gets injured through no fault of their own God has such great compassion. There are many times the OT tells of God easing life for an injured woman.

As you put the words of scripture in your mind, as you stay quiet and sure within yourself, you can be sure the comforter is close to you. You can go on with absolute faith. God is showering you with love and compassion.
 
T

TheHappyFool

Guest
#16
How much have you done? Your within your rights to leave but if you dont want to then you have to fight. I am going through a similar situation if you want to compare notes mail me.
 

Shaije

Senior Member
Jul 26, 2012
116
2
0
#17
My husband left me 6 weeks ago for a much younger woman. I turned it over to God, trying to walk in peace. My husband wanted to come home but still see this other woman. I said "no". I have not sought a divorce. Now my husband says he cares for her a lot and it will be hard for him (haha) but he loves me and never wants a divorce. I have started moving on without him.

I need to know if God wants me to embrace this wandering husband and be glorified in the restoration of my marriage? In order to serve God should I open my arms again to this man? I do believe God restores marriages, that it was never his plan for divorce in the first place. Though I have been freed by my husbands adultery, doesn't God ask that I forgive instead of divorcing? Isn't that what the Lord would ask of me?

I have confused myself greatly as all the answers I find in my Bible tell me to stand as a virtous woman and honor my husband. I am not responsible for what he has done, I am only responsible for my own actions.

Please prayerfully advise.
if your husband is unwilling to be faithful, forsaking ALL others...then...what are you honoring? Being a faithful and obedient woman to your husband and to your marriage, is indeed honorable. And forgiveness is key. Jesus has already forgiven "us".......therefore we too must forgive. However.......NOWHERE in scripture does it say, we have to be a doormat. God gives us the strength to endure all things. He ALSO gives us a brain to figure out when we are the only one PULLING the cart. Marriage is a team effort, based on friendship, love, TRUST, devotion, commitment. if these things arent obvious to both parties then..... wheres the purpose? Gods speed and comfort for your heart.
your sister in CHRIST
 

Shaije

Senior Member
Jul 26, 2012
116
2
0
#18
Actually, the only unforgivable sin is blasphemy against God....which means rejecting Christ. Obviously, if someone rejects salvation, they will not get it. Everything else is forgivable with repentance. Thank God
thats NOT what scripture says...tsk...tsk
Jesus said in Matthew 12:31 Therefore, I say unto you, ALL manner of sin and blashemy SHALL be forgiven men; BUT the BLASPHEMY of the HOLY SPIRIT shall NOT be forgiven men.
Please be more mindful of "Scripture." You dont want to mislead anyone, with what "you THINK" the truth is, do you? KNOW what the Word says first...and (then) you will be able to give sound advice. Gods speed, with your studies.
 
O

oracle2world

Guest
#19
You have already made your decision, "no", and it is the best one for you. Breaking the vow of fidelity is like shattering a mirror, it can never be put back together. And there is no reason to believe he won't stray again and again. Singles can play the field with one another, but when you put on that ring, you are bound by your vows. Marriage is the most important sacrament, and if you can't keep that vow, why do you expect anyone else to keep their promises?

You don't have to live together, sleep together, or have much to do with each other - but if you remain faithful to one another, reconciliation and forgiveness is always an option. You still have a window (however small) left open that connects you. Breaking the vow of fidelity closes that window forever. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

You faith with see you through as you move on to a new life.

gbu
 
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Icantstoplovinghim

Guest
#20
Bless you praying for you