Equally Yoked Marriage

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JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
5,839
2,288
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#2
Is a wife obligated to worship in the same church as her husband (Scriptures needed, please)?
Ok....
This begs the question of why would you not want to? Do you not respect your husband?
Why would he choose a church that does not worship Jesus/ God?

Where is the unity in this marriage? Why are you not on the same page working together on the same goals?

This is not making sense.
 
Jul 7, 2022
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#3
Is a wife obligated to worship in the same church as her husband (Scriptures needed, please)?
You are obligated to remain married even if someone tells you that you are unequivocally yoked. If you look long enough, or listen to the wrong people, you'll hear every opinion under the sun. That will eventually undermine your relationship, no matter how strong it may be now. Beware of the sassy divorcees.

A wife is obligated to follow her husband's leadership as long as it doesn't violate God's commands.

Those are 2 principles that are very clear in Scripture. Do you need me to look up the proof texts for those?

As to where you both want to attend, it should be discussed with your husband. Hopefully you both married with similar doctrinal beliefs. If one isn't agreeable, perhaps there's another option you both can settle on.
 
Mar 13, 2024
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#4
Ok....
This begs the question of why would you not want to? Do you not respect your husband?
Why would he choose a church that does not worship Jesus/ God?

Where is the unity in this marriage? Why are you not on the same page working together on the same goals?

This is not making sense.
I appreciate the question. My husband goes to a pentecostal holiness church where the Word of God is not accurately taught by the lead pastor. I love the Word of God, and I love His Presence. Both are woefully lacking for me, at that church. My husband is an elder there and has been at that church for over fifty years. Understandably, he doesn’t want to leave there because he’s developed close friendships with everyone there. I only started going to his church after we got married (about 10 years ago). We’re both highly educated people and worked for the government together. We share many of the same “likes” together. So, for a long time, I could not understand why he was opposed to finding another church where we could both worship the Lord, together. My husband has not insisted that I attend his church with him. So, I attend a different church. I respect my husband, but I love God more than I love my husband.
 
Jul 7, 2022
8,759
3,616
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#5
Is a wife obligated to worship in the same church as her husband (Scriptures needed, please)?
I'm getting ready to go to sleep (hopefully) soon, so I'm going to post a sermon that might be a blessing or help shed light. It's a Baptist who uses a lot of Scriptures although it may be a different kind of church than either of you attend. It's good to hear that you are looking for God's Word/ Scriptures needed on the subject. May the Lord help strengthen your marriage and help you have much peace .
Husband's and Wives
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
5,839
2,288
113
#6
I appreciate the question. My husband goes to a pentecostal holiness church where the Word of God is not accurately taught by the lead pastor. I love the Word of God, and I love His Presence. Both are woefully lacking for me, at that church. My husband is an elder there and has been at that church for over fifty years. Understandably, he doesn’t want to leave there because he’s developed close friendships with everyone there. I only started going to his church after we got married (about 10 years ago). We’re both highly educated people and worked for the government together. We share many of the same “likes” together. So, for a long time, I could not understand why he was opposed to finding another church where we could both worship the Lord, together. My husband has not insisted that I attend his church with him. So, I attend a different church. I respect my husband, but I love God more than I love my husband.
I'm falling asleep but I'm familiar with this situation....other friends of mine faced the same thing. I'll get back to this in the morning.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
5,839
2,288
113
#10
I appreciate the question. My husband goes to a pentecostal holiness church where the Word of God is not accurately taught by the lead pastor. I love the Word of God, and I love His Presence. Both are woefully lacking for me, at that church. My husband is an elder there and has been at that church for over fifty years. Understandably, he doesn’t want to leave there because he’s developed close friendships with everyone there. I only started going to his church after we got married (about 10 years ago). We’re both highly educated people and worked for the government together. We share many of the same “likes” together. So, for a long time, I could not understand why he was opposed to finding another church where we could both worship the Lord, together. My husband has not insisted that I attend his church with him. So, I attend a different church. I respect my husband, but I love God more than I love my husband.
Ok....
Got my 7 hrs.
The church your husband goes to is likely a very small church. Maybe 100+ people on a good Sunday and is an "elder". Been going there most of his life. He has friends there. He likely is a major means of financial support for that church too.

But you have been learning scriptures quickly in the past ten years and figured out that you don't like what they are saying sometimes. It's incongruent with scriptures and reality. And I can really appreciate that.
However, your husband sees something in that group beyond what comes out of the pulpit and spoken words...and that's what he refuses to give up on. And in all reality you do not want him to. Because with that same set of eyes he sees something wonderful in you. (Despite your flaws)

So you go to a different church.

And let me tell you....it's not easy or quick. My wife and I went church shopping over a year ago. It took a few months of looking before we finally found one. We ran into major flaws with every church...not that the people weren't friendly towards us in some. Very welcoming in a few of them. But we knew what we were looking for and finally found it. But it took time. We got there...frustrating to say the least.

But the main thing is that we do not go to church to study scripture....even though it's done there. That's where we go to make friends. My wife and I study scriptures together...discuss together what we know and have read daily, weekly and etc. We talk ALL THE TIME. The preaching and teaching at Church is not relevant. But we are usually working together on any number of ministry related projects...even though we are "pew warmers".

Church anymore is not a good place of learning like it once was. Very little of the "drool in school" so to speak. Unlike 5 decades ago when it was hard core with doctrines and huge sections of scripture sliced and diced up with hermeneutics.
That needs to be done at home.

And if you don't mind me saying so....

You need to study scriptures with your husband...just you and him. Not like a formal class....but daily and weekly reading schedules and discussions afterwards TOGETHER. You need to be together as ministry partners....not like David and Joab....but like David and Johnathon. You and your husband each have your unique talents that combined are very powerful when working for God.

You can visit and be seen at his church on occasion and he can do the same thing for you and yours. Leave the studying for the house. You need to not just be present but SUPPORTIVE for special occasions at his church and vice versa. All is good then. Besides....women's studies? Ugggghhhhh.....he wants no part of that. But then there's men's studies you want no part in either.

I know that you find what's being preached abhorrent....met a preacher once that I felt the same way about....but...then I seen where his words were nothing like his actions. He was extremely compassionate, kind, and extending huge amounts of grace....and I found I liked him in spite of what he preached.
Words and actions seldom line up these days. Words dripping with honey often cover up malice...and words that are rough and fear instilling are cover for a big softee.
 
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#12
I appreciate the question. My husband goes to a pentecostal holiness church where the Word of God is not accurately taught by the lead pastor. I love the Word of God, and I love His Presence. Both are woefully lacking for me, at that church. My husband is an elder there and has been at that church for over fifty years. Understandably, he doesn’t want to leave there because he’s developed close friendships with everyone there. I only started going to his church after we got married (about 10 years ago). We’re both highly educated people and worked for the government together. We share many of the same “likes” together. So, for a long time, I could not understand why he was opposed to finding another church where we could both worship the Lord, together. My husband has not insisted that I attend his church with him. So, I attend a different church. I respect my husband, but I love God more than I love my husband.
It is obvious that your husband's reluctance to finding another church to attend together with you is because his church is his comfort zone. This is not necessarily good in a spiritual sense as it may inhibit spiritual growth.
 
Mar 13, 2014
41,617
16,455
113
69
Tennessee
#13
And if you don't mind me saying so....

You need to study scriptures with your husband...just you and him. Not like a formal class....but daily and weekly reading schedules and discussions afterwards TOGETHER. You need to be together as ministry partners....not like David and Joab....but like David and Johnathon. You and your husband each have your unique talents that combined are very powerful when working for God.
This is key for spiritual growth together as husband and wife. My wife and I have done this together since Day One of our marriage. I highly recommend this practice. The couple that prays together, stays together. Happily, I might add.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
5,839
2,288
113
#14
This is key for spiritual growth together as husband and wife. My wife and I have done this together since Day One of our marriage. I highly recommend this practice. The couple that prays together, stays together. Happily, I might add.
And working together but separate they can increase their sphere of influence in their community. So church attendance together occasionally can work...
 
Mar 13, 2024
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#16
This is key for spiritual growth together as husband and wife. My wife and I have done this together since Day One of our marriage. I highly recommend this practice. The couple that prays together, stays together. Happily, I might add.
Thank you for your counsel. We always share Scripture together, in the mornings and evenings. Continued blessings to you and to your family. Shalom, shalom!!!
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
5,839
2,288
113
#20
In other words, the lead pastor seems to be more interested in elevating himself, than in elevating Jesus Christ!
I know...I get it and its annoying as all get out...
Makes me wanna scream and shout and pop his inflated head.

And some pastors in the evangelical world outside the holiness churches do the same stupid thing. Even had one refer to himself in the third person from the pulpit. That was extremely disturbing.
Good hermeneutics is becoming increasingly difficult to find in any church anymore. Too much junk out there. Too many bloated ego's. Also literature seems written for children instead of adults.

Hang in there....stay united instead of divided...this is NOT something to divide over....