So. Im a teenager. I've had a rough childhood and my birth mom abandoned me. My dad has never really shown me love because i dont think he knows how. Then. My step mom comes into the picture and she changed my life i call her mom because we're so close. But like i said. My dad doesnt know how to love. My parents have been fighting so much and my (step)mom is done. She hates my dad so much. He's so selfish and he wont surrender to God. My family is falling apart before my eyes and im angry. Its to the point where my mom is probably leaving soon. Its so bad. She gave my dad the past five years to change and he hasn't. I've cried so much in the past few days its unbelievable that i havent dehydrated myself. I feel so hopeless. Yes. I have tried my very hardest to give this to God but its getting worse. I dont think my parents are meant to be and i dont think my dad is meant to be in a relationship. I just want a normal family. I've never had one a and i hate it. Im so unmotivated. All i want to do is lay in bed and cry. And i always try to pray but everytime i try, i only end up crying. God knows what i need. But i dont. I know i need god but i WANT a family. Does God think i dont need one? I have grown in my faith so much in the past year and I've looked to God in every situation and i look to God and talk to him everyday. I feel like i have a great relationship with him. But why now is it so hard for me to pray? I know God wants me to look to him before anything else. But I've done that. So why am i so broken inside. Why cant i get up in th morning and be happy. I remind myself every day that I'm grateful for Gods mercy and love. And then i hear my parents fighting and i become numb. Im to the point where i would rather not feel anymore because im in so much emotional pain. Im not even comfortable in my own home. The atmosphere is tense and awkward times ten. What do i do because i have no idea where to go from here. All i know is how i feel and i hate it so much.