hello just checking in been a while sorry much pain going on and lots to do>>>>

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jenniferand2

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2016
1,432
32
48
#1
hello just checking in been a while sorry much pain going on and lots to do>>>>

So i am here checking in how is everyone? I have had a real bad few weeks with the constant rain coming my pain has tripled ughh. It is was nice for a few days so i came to life and of course did all my house work in two days not good. So now I am hanging in bed with the tens unit on to no avail really watching some t.v. trying to relax and not do much today. news on the home front My husband his friend and I are almost ready to grab a house in pa. I figured it is big enough i can go off and do my own things and not be bothered much.
His friend is pretty much falling apart like I am lol. So he needs to have someone around most of the time. So I have decided to give it a try and see how it goes. If all else fails hubby and his friend can stay together and I can always re evaluate. At least I know I will be safe hubbys friend is very protective..
On another okay note Hubby has still been behaving very well. I am kind of surprised usually by now he would have had a major mood shift again. Maybe he is finally getting it.
I pray I am doing the right thing. If you all could pray for me as well that would be great. I am not good with change and moving is a big change. P.S. I still have no reservations about high tailing if things go south with my hubby again. So please do not think that I would stick around if he was being an you know what still. thanks God Bless
 

Depleted

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2015
22,166
480
83
Philly, PA, USA
#2
Re: hello just checking in been a while sorry much pain going on and lots to do>>>>

So i am here checking in how is everyone? I have had a real bad few weeks with the constant rain coming my pain has tripled ughh. It is was nice for a few days so i came to life and of course did all my house work in two days not good. So now I am hanging in bed with the tens unit on to no avail really watching some t.v. trying to relax and not do much today. news on the home front My husband his friend and I are almost ready to grab a house in pa. I figured it is big enough i can go off and do my own things and not be bothered much.
His friend is pretty much falling apart like I am lol. So he needs to have someone around most of the time. So I have decided to give it a try and see how it goes. If all else fails hubby and his friend can stay together and I can always re evaluate. At least I know I will be safe hubbys friend is very protective..
On another okay note Hubby has still been behaving very well. I am kind of surprised usually by now he would have had a major mood shift again. Maybe he is finally getting it.
I pray I am doing the right thing. If you all could pray for me as well that would be great. I am not good with change and moving is a big change. P.S. I still have no reservations about high tailing if things go south with my hubby again. So please do not think that I would stick around if he was being an you know what still. thanks God Bless
Cleaning your house after finally feeling better --

(lol I get that impulse, because I have that same battle in me, so it's par for the course. And I know "Don't do that" doesn't always work for me either.)

Moving with hubby --


(Not wrong. Just shocked.)

Question: What about your daughter? I know what state you live in, just don't know where in that state you live, and it's a big state. (It borders PA, so it might not be a huge move.) My fear is you won't see your daughter much, if you move far away.

Comment: You said a while ago your hubby changed meds and it lowered his belligerent levels. Have you ever considered this is the new husband you have, instead of he's acting this way as long as he can? You're not wrong. Living together in that situation, people cannot hide the negative side for that long. They revert back to who they are in, at best, a month. This new-and-improved is going on five months now. That's not normal. It probably is the meds, so I really have no negatives about you moving with him. I'm merely shocked because you were so sure you had way more than enough already.

I do have three concerns though:
1. Your relationship with your daughter in the future, if you're moving far enough away it won't be an easy drive. Yeah, I get it's a strained relationship now, but she's a teen and things change in a couple of years. They won't change, if you're no longer in her life much.

2. College. Are you aware that most of the courses you have already taken won't count in a new school? (The very reason I didn't switch schools in college. I'd have to take most of the classes all over again.)

3. New housemate. Is there any chance that could turn into a romantic relationship between you and him? I'm not saying it will. I'm not saying that's a hidden agenda for you, but I instantly wonder if it might not be for him. AND, if it is, and you have no objections against him, could it ever become mutual attraction? You don't have to answer. (And who would be stupid enough to say Yes, even if they did answer?) But it is something to consider. Why put the temptation right with you, if it is possible, even at the cost of his protecting you if hubby turns back to his old self? That could, in itself, lead you into that guy's arms too. (Not a concern if you think of him as a brother. I love my brothers, but it grosses me out to ever even consider romantic. Even if it's not me, I sometimes wonder why their wives or girlfriends find them interesting romantically. They're my brothers! Ew ew! kind of thing. lol)
 

jenniferand2

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2016
1,432
32
48
#3
Re: hello just checking in been a while sorry much pain going on and lots to do>>>>

Cleaning your house after finally feeling better --

(lol I get that impulse, because I have that same battle in me, so it's par for the course. And I know "Don't do that" doesn't always work for me either.)

Moving with hubby --


(Not wrong. Just shocked.)

Question: What about your daughter? I know what state you live in, just don't know where in that state you live, and it's a big state. (It borders PA, so it might not be a huge move.) My fear is you won't see your daughter much, if you move far away.

Comment: You said a while ago your hubby changed meds and it lowered his belligerent levels. Have you ever considered this is the new husband you have, instead of he's acting this way as long as he can? You're not wrong. Living together in that situation, people cannot hide the negative side for that long. They revert back to who they are in, at best, a month. This new-and-improved is going on five months now. That's not normal. It probably is the meds, so I really have no negatives about you moving with him. I'm merely shocked because you were so sure you had way more than enough already.

I do have three concerns though:
1. Your relationship with your daughter in the future, if you're moving far enough away it won't be an easy drive. Yeah, I get it's a strained relationship now, but she's a teen and things change in a couple of years. They won't change, if you're no longer in her life much.

2. College. Are you aware that most of the courses you have already taken won't count in a new school? (The very reason I didn't switch schools in college. I'd have to take most of the classes all over again.)

3. New housemate. Is there any chance that could turn into a romantic relationship between you and him? I'm not saying it will. I'm not saying that's a hidden agenda for you, but I instantly wonder if it might not be for him. AND, if it is, and you have no objections against him, could it ever become mutual attraction? You don't have to answer. (And who would be stupid enough to say Yes, even if they did answer?) But it is something to consider. Why put the temptation right with you, if it is possible, even at the cost of his protecting you if hubby turns back to his old self? That could, in itself, lead you into that guy's arms too. (Not a concern if you think of him as a brother. I love my brothers, but it grosses me out to ever even consider romantic. Even if it's not me, I sometimes wonder why their wives or girlfriends find them interesting romantically. They're my brothers! Ew ew! kind of thing. lol)
my daughters live about 3 and a half hours from where we will be moving to. Hubby I am unsure could be meds could be he is really afraid I will leave. Could be our communication is getting a bit better. I still have my reservations believe me. Maybe he is just finally getting worn out arguing with me who knows. I will still be on guard. I have made it very clear how much he has hurt me and that he never even got it. He was kind of dumb founded. typical male hmmmm sorry guys.
Daughter will come and stay for weeks on end I am sure when we move so I am not worried about that. She is back on good terms with me because I dropped the court thing. My older daughter well she is busy 24 7 just about so I do not see her much even now lol. I will make time to see her when I come to grab the little brat lol.
College is going to be one class on line this summer and then maybe this fall I will come back to n.y. to do fall semester and go back to pa on breaks. If I do fall semester then spring semester I will be done with my associates degree in liberal arts.. so I will finish it will just be getting things situated so I can.
Hubbys friend is very much like a brother. I would never even consider a relationship with him other then just like a brother.. He is a great guy don't get me wrong but I am not attracted to him in a romantic way.
Nope I vow that if I end up leaving hubby for any reason that I will either stay very single or I will find a guy who hold values I want. Like a relationship with God. Someone who is kind and respectful etc.... all the things i really have never had with my hubby. So single or complete different fro hubby. well I think I have touched on all your questions lol.. I am sure your surprised I am too I am just hoping that this behavior change sticks around. I am still very unsure it will but will take it one day at a time..
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
7,447
293
83
#4
Re: hello just checking in been a while sorry much pain going on and lots to do>>>>

Sweet Jesus, may we all hold your hands...