Homosexual Brother In Law

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shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
6,348
3,446
113
#61
"Male and female He created them", is pretty clear.
 
Oct 23, 2020
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#62
I don't think you need a big theological course on this.
What do you want for your child or children?
The Bible demands that children honour their parents.
Would you feel honoured if your son came home with Larry
Or Steve?
 

tstumf

Active member
May 28, 2021
114
51
28
#63
I don't think you need a big theological course on this.
What do you want for your child or children?
The Bible demands that children honour their parents.
Would you feel honoured if your son came home with Larry
Or Steve?
I understand. And I absolutely would not feel honored at all in that situation. What concerns me is that the decision I’m to make about this will likely, almost definitely change the course of my families attitude towards me and likely not for the better. Up till recently I’ve treated homosexuals including this broth in law with passivity and neutrality but this time it feels different and am feeling pulled to take a stand where in the past I’ve been passive about it. I feel like I identify with the apprehensions that Gideon had and I’m not sure how to get past that.
 
Oct 23, 2020
971
164
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#64
I understand. And I absolutely would not feel honored at all in that situation. What concerns me is that the decision I’m to make about this will likely, almost definitely change the course of my families attitude towards me and likely not for the better. Up till recently I’ve treated homosexuals including this broth in law with passivity and neutrality but this time it feels different and am feeling pulled to take a stand where in the past I’ve been passive about it. I feel like I identify with the apprehensions that Gideon had and I’m not sure how to get past that.
I can imagine the enormous stress you are under.

Personally I don't like the idea of being unequally yoked.
If the brain doesn't really match up to the wholesome exterior,
what are you going to do?

I personally would have no qualms emigrating to somewhere like the Phillipines with my son,
and finding a nice God-fearing proper family-oriented woman.
 

CS1

Well-known member
May 23, 2012
8,065
2,378
113
#65
I regret your post has been so badly misunderstood and vilified. You are absolutely correct, those with attractions to their same sex should indeed be celibate and chaste.

There is just so much bias in the "Christian" community. (Maybe I can share a little of the venom).

your false narrative is what is wrong and to suggest one is attacking based on an unbiblical comment of"

"Homosexuals have a very special calling, to be celibate, and chaste"

This is furthest from the truth. why>?


Because the suggestion is Homoseucality is a race of people it is not. You are taking a sexual preference ( perversion) and giving it
birth status which is a lie. people are not born homosexual they are born human beings who develop practices out of sinful nature if not saved will lead to depravity. FYI celibate and Chaste and gay will not save you.
 

tstumf

Active member
May 28, 2021
114
51
28
#66
I can imagine the enormous stress you are under.

Personally I don't like the idea of being unequally yoked.
If the brain doesn't really match up to the wholesome exterior,
what are you going to do?

I personally would have no qualms emigrating to somewhere like the Phillipines with my son,
and finding a nice God-fearing proper family-oriented woman.
I’ve been praying (a lot) that it doesn’t come to that. But it has been and is a fear of mine that I may be unequally yoked. that is what I most fear may come to pass. Her parents were initially against it when he first came out but have since came came to acceptance of the brother in laws homosexually as is the rest of her family. the reception I’m sure will be sponsored by their mother . My wife leans on her mother for a lot of advice and support in different situations. My wife and her mother are very close and usually when a situation arises where my wife cannot make a decision it’s her mothers influence that is the tiebreaker. If I were to look at this without faith in God the writing is on the wall about it being a likely marriage ender for us. That is my true fear I suppose, and why I’m here to really carefully weigh and seek what God would have me do.
 

CS1

Well-known member
May 23, 2012
8,065
2,378
113
#67
I understand. And I absolutely would not feel honored at all in that situation. What concerns me is that the decision I’m to make about this will likely, almost definitely change the course of my families attitude towards me and likely not for the better. Up till recently I’ve treated homosexuals including this broth in law with passivity and neutrality but this time it feels different and am feeling pulled to take a stand where in the past I’ve been passive about it. I feel like I identify with the apprehensions that Gideon had and I’m not sure how to get past that.
When I stood for the word of God it was seen as unloving and judgemental by those who are not godly even if they are my family.

it is they who will have to explain to God how God was wrong in HIS assessment of what is to be joined together. You making a stand for God is the best thing you can do for your Family because God will hold you responsible for not shining your light.
 

CS1

Well-known member
May 23, 2012
8,065
2,378
113
#68
When I stood for the word of God it was seen as unloving and judgemental by those who are not godly even if they are my family.

it is they who will have to explain to God how God was wrong in HIS assessment of what is to be joined together. You making a stand for God is the best thing you can do for your Family because God will hold you responsible for not shining your light.

These so-called Christians who speak of hate one are doing for calling "sin " sin, have sold out because they were afraid and wimps to stand for Christ. They will not say it is wrong because they have children or family members who have been deceived by this lying devil of perversion. So they compromise the word of God and attack those who are doing what they themselves would not do because it was unpopular and not politically correct to make a stand.

These so-called Christians now want to suggest that the love of God will accept their sin and suggest they are loving those in this kind of sin by appeasing and even validating it because they have a family member who is in this sexual preference.

They are Carnal Christians, they are those types who would give your child a needle to do heroin and say thank God it was a clean needle they got. BUT will leave them to their addiction which will take their very lives.

The Jesus I know said GO and SIN NOmore less something worst happens to you. John 8:11 Jesus set people free not saves them in the sin to live out until they die.

Who would ever think when Jesus said less something worst happens to you would be " Christians" spoon-feeding your death!!!

You, weak wimps, are not displaying the love of God, you are used by the devil to pervert the Love of God.
 

Unearthed

Active member
May 18, 2021
195
63
28
#69
Really?

That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard.

1) You don't know what you're going up against

2) Who says that this gay couple wants salvation?

3) All you will achieve is chaos and it certainly won't bring any glory to God.
Wow!
Somebody just doesn't "get it"...
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,827
951
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#70
It’s probably going to add stress to an already weak marriage of mine cause my wife believes she needs to be there for her brother. This isn’t the first issue we have had regarding the Homosexual brother in law.
I’ve been praying (a lot) that it doesn’t come to that. But it has been and is a fear of mine that I may be unequally yoked. that is what I most fear may come to pass. Her parents were initially against it when he first came out but have since came came to acceptance of the brother in laws homosexually as is the rest of her family. the reception I’m sure will be sponsored by their mother . My wife leans on her mother for a lot of advice and support in different situations. My wife and her mother are very close and usually when a situation arises where my wife cannot make a decision it’s her mothers influence that is the tiebreaker. If I were to look at this without faith in God the writing is on the wall about it being a likely marriage ender for us. That is my true fear I suppose, and why I’m here to really carefully weigh and seek what God would have me do.
If I may say, your wife’s actions (and/or lack thereof) concern me. The Bible says that a person leaves their mother and father to be one with their spouse. Their obligation now is to their immediate family, formed with that person, and not their relatives. She feels the need to “be there for her brother” while ignoring her need to stand by your side (as her husband) and ignoring your son’s well being (not being desensitized to what is sin and it being celebrated).

Is your wife a Christian? It doesn’t seem like she is having this internal dialogue that you’re having. She is more concerned with her family’s perception of her than all else. Also the relationship between your wife and her mother sounds like the mother isn’t letting the bird out of the nest. Usually this leads to a mother enabling the child; instead of growing they offer the child a safe haven (“you can always come back”). She should be able to discuss things with her husband (you need to be reasonable) and not rely on her mother as… like a suckling pig.

I hope I haven’t spoken out of turn, and you will find what I have said spot on to what you’re experiencing.
 

Mark47Oz

Active member
Jun 4, 2021
231
84
28
#71
Wow!
Somebody just doesn't "get it"...
I can't tell if you're being incredibly naive or defiant here.

As someone who foolishly asked for and was given the burden of seeing and hearing in the spirit, I can tell you that if you think that attending an ungodly act isn't going to make Satan want to have a little party, then you are wrong.

He is walking this earth right at this very moment. People complaining about all the wickedness in the world today have some idea but are not fully aware of what is going on. We don't know the couple in question, they might be nice enough people , but gay marriage is in direct violation of scripture. At the very minimum it offends God, and when you offend God, you leave yourself open to habitation from nasty things.

So, I'm not saying that the couple themselves are necessarily possessed or bound *yet* because I don't know them. But sin takes one away from the Grace of God. And the further from his grace you fall, the more open to habitation from evil things you become. Some people don't even know they are bound, but they are.

And if one Christian goes into this wedding alone, they might face a nothing, a single minor demon or an entire legion of them.

Therefore, I propose it is you who does not 'get it'
 

tstumf

Active member
May 28, 2021
114
51
28
#72
If I may say, your wife’s actions (and/or lack thereof) concern me. The Bible says that a person leaves their mother and father to be one with their spouse. Their obligation now is to their immediate family, formed with that person, and not their relatives. She feels the need to “be there for her brother” while ignoring her need to stand by your side (as her husband) and ignoring your son’s well being (not being desensitized to what is sin and it being celebrated).

Is your wife a Christian? It doesn’t seem like she is having this internal dialogue that you’re having. She is more concerned with her family’s perception of her than all else. Also the relationship between your wife and her mother sounds like the mother isn’t letting the bird out of the nest. Usually this leads to a mother enabling the child; instead of growing they offer the child a safe haven (“you can always come back”). She should be able to discuss things with her husband (you need to be reasonable) and not rely on her mother as… like a suckling pig.

I hope I haven’t spoken out of turn, and you will find what I have said spot on to what you’re experiencing.
nope no worries. I’m open to answering that the best I can cause I’ve got to find peace with this somehow . It’s kind of an odd situation. When we first started dating she was the one to step forward and ask if I was a Christian. I said yes. Granted at that point i think we both were at best very weak and naive in the faith but it was there. If you asked her straight up today she will say yes. We attend a Berean church service on Sundays. She has her own little bible study group she started. She has her “faith box” thing that shows up in the mail.Though I’ve never seen her pick up her bible an actually read a scripture outside church service. Doesn’t mean she hasn’t I suppose , I’ve just never observed her randomly crack open her bible on a normal evening and start reading. For a time I didn’t either but now I look forward to it when I get a chance.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,827
951
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#73
nope no worries. I’m open to answering that the best I can cause I’ve got to find peace with this somehow . It’s kind of an odd situation. When we first started dating she was the one to step forward and ask if I was a Christian. I said yes. Granted at that point i think we both were at best very weak and naive in the faith but it was there. If you asked her straight up today she will say yes. We attend a Berean church service on Sundays. She has her own little bible study group she started. She has her “faith box” thing that shows up in the mail.Though I’ve never seen her pick up her bible an actually read a scripture outside church service. Doesn’t mean she hasn’t I suppose , I’ve just never observed her randomly crack open her bible on a normal evening and start reading. For a time I didn’t either but now I look forward to it when I get a chance.
Yeah, just making observations. Have you discussed this with her?
 

tstumf

Active member
May 28, 2021
114
51
28
#74
Yeah, just making observations. Have you discussed this with her?
not yet. I’m seeking wisdom before I do so I can address it logically with biblical reasoning and to be firm yet understanding. Honestly She gets a might bit defensive when conversations get serious and tends to over react emotionally at even the slightest bit of confrontation and I want to approach this at an angle to minimize all that. Hate walking on eggshells but Been down the direct approach road before on other issues and those conversations have quickly ruined weeks of peace for the entire family and we didn’t get anywhere. I’m evidently not very skilled at controlling my tone of voice which put her immediately on the defensive and she shuts down. Last time it was a simple question about her blood pressure medicine so I’m seeking to tread lightly into this as possible even though confrontation is inevitable with this. I still want her to listen. Cause when she gets that way you can’t logically have a serious conversation period and you have one shot to converse about it.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,827
951
113
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#75
not yet. I’m seeking wisdom before I do so I can address it logically with biblical reasoning and to be firm yet understanding. Honestly She gets a might bit defensive when conversations get serious and tends to over react emotionally at even the slightest bit of confrontation and I want to approach this at an angle to minimize all that. Hate walking on eggshells but Been down the direct approach road before on other issues and those conversations have quickly ruined weeks of peace for the entire family and we didn’t get anywhere. I’m evidently not very skilled at controlling my tone of voice which put her immediately on the defensive and she shuts down. Last time it was a simple question about her blood pressure medicine so I’m seeking to tread lightly into this as possible even though confrontation is inevitable with this. I still want her to listen. Cause when she gets that way you can’t logically have a serious conversation period and you have one shot to converse about it.
Scripture says for a woman to submit to her husband but that word submit means “to be gently persuaded.” Emphasis on persuaded. Make your case but keep in mind that your words should be filled with grace. How you say something is equally important as what you’re saying because it determines how it is received. Very much like correction, if said too harshly it can harden a person. Have you ever seen a street preacher insulting pedestrians? The Gospel is good, their delivery is not.

I think it will be important for you to express your understanding of the situation it puts her and you in. Together. You don’t want to negatively impact your relationship with her family. Relate to that concern, as it is very real. “I know this puts us in a predicament…” Tell her why you feel that you guys cannot compromise on this issue. And I don’t mean to feign sympathy, but be genuine in what you’re saying and realistic in the consequences of you two, together, making this decision (of not attending).

Now, if you have compromised in other areas, be forewarned, this may be a hard sell. Lol “But husband, you go and get drunk with the guys at the pub!” You can’t be selective in your ideals and expect to have any weight in your opinion. This is why you need to be consistent in your walk.

Definitely aim for peace, and ask her to check her own heart if she truly believes it is right, in accordance with her beliefs. If need be, suggest that she ask her Bible study group for what to do in this situation so her sisters in Christ can encourage her in making a good decision. You don’t have to be the only voice of reason.
 

tstumf

Active member
May 28, 2021
114
51
28
#76
Scripture says for a woman to submit to her husband but that word submit means “to be gently persuaded.” Emphasis on persuaded. Make your case but keep in mind that your words should be filled with grace. How you say something is equally important as what you’re saying because it determines how it is received. Very much like correction, if said too harshly it can harden a person. Have you ever seen a street preacher insulting pedestrians? The Gospel is good, their delivery is not.

I think it will be important for you to express your understanding of the situation it puts her and you in. Together. You don’t want to negatively impact your relationship with her family. Relate to that concern, as it is very real. “I know this puts us in a predicament…” Tell her why you feel that you guys cannot compromise on this issue. And I don’t mean to feign sympathy, but be genuine in what you’re saying and realistic in the consequences of you two, together, making this decision (of not attending).

Now, if you have compromised in other areas, be forewarned, this may be a hard sell. Lol “But husband, you go and get drunk with the guys at the pub!” You can’t be selective in your ideals and expect to have any weight in your opinion. This is why you need to be consistent in your walk.

Definitely aim for peace, and ask her to check her own heart if she truly believes it is right, in accordance with her beliefs. If need be, suggest that she ask her Bible study group for what to do in this situation so her sisters in Christ can encourage her in making a good decision. You don’t have to be the only voice of reason.
Thankyou for your wisdom on this. I greatly appreciate it.
 

Unearthed

Active member
May 18, 2021
195
63
28
#77
I can't tell if you're being incredibly naive or defiant here.
Nor am I able to tell if you're being naïve, or just incredibly silly.

It was obviously meant as a joke, as the OP clearly understood:

Lol 😂. How about no…. Ive already got enough trouble trying to get right with this this situation. Dude ya have jokes I’ll give ya that. Thanks for the laugh
 
Oct 23, 2020
971
164
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#78
not yet. I’m seeking wisdom before I do so I can address it logically with biblical reasoning and to be firm yet understanding. Honestly She gets a might bit defensive when conversations get serious and tends to over react emotionally at even the slightest bit of confrontation and I want to approach this at an angle to minimize all that. Hate walking on eggshells but Been down the direct approach road before on other issues and those conversations have quickly ruined weeks of peace for the entire family and we didn’t get anywhere. I’m evidently not very skilled at controlling my tone of voice which put her immediately on the defensive and she shuts down. Last time it was a simple question about her blood pressure medicine so I’m seeking to tread lightly into this as possible even though confrontation is inevitable with this. I still want her to listen. Cause when she gets that way you can’t logically have a serious conversation period and you have one shot to converse about it.
You really have your hands full Tst. The situation is pretty complicated isn't it?

Firstly if your wife has high blood pressure and she is taking medication, you have a whole
background situation. I personally would not accept my wife taking medication as I would view our bodies as one body.
[I don't want to absorb that stuff through contact, kissing, etc ] Personally just taking the most innocuous medication, e.g. a muscle relaxant for a bad back, turns my brain to mush. So she is stressed and easily-triggered, and she may have cognitive issues as well now.

Ultimately there are two marriages being discussed here. I think I know which one I would be interested in, if i was in your shoes. I think you need to find a good pastor, and work through all this stuff. I don't think it is going away. Your wife is making her own rules, in a way behind your back, (church, mother, etc) and you simply need to take action. Otherwise you will just forever be a third party.
 

tstumf

Active member
May 28, 2021
114
51
28
#79
You really have your hands full Tst. The situation is pretty complicated isn't it?

Firstly if your wife has high blood pressure and she is taking medication, you have a whole
background situation. I personally would not accept my wife taking medication as I would view our bodies as one body.
[I don't want to absorb that stuff through contact, kissing, etc ] Personally just taking the most innocuous medication, e.g. a muscle relaxant for a bad back, turns my brain to mush. So she is stressed and easily-triggered, and she may have cognitive issues as well now.

Ultimately there are two marriages being discussed here. I think I know which one I would be interested in, if i was in your shoes. I think you need to find a good pastor, and work through all this stuff. I don't think it is going away. Your wife is making her own rules, in a way behind your back, (church, mother, etc) and you simply need to take action. Otherwise you will just forever be a third party.
I understand Sage. And action is exactly what is going to happen starting with this this situation on. I’ve taken a back seat to some things far too long and allowed some bad things to creep into this marriage while I was being passive. That is going to end no doubt. I will take your suggestions all into consideration because these things are absolutely not going away. These problems just have a way of stacking up on one another and getting bigger, never getting resolved and that is going going to end now that I see it clearly. Thankyou for your wisdom and time
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,696
4,226
113
#80
so,, have you actually decided what you are going to do that day? Wash the car, stay at home, go the wedding or not go and march in protest or help the homeless? or maybe organise a second honeymoon for yo and your wife?


Let us know so we can pray for you.