How can I save my family?

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blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,370
1,333
113
#2
You can't save them. Only God can. So step aside and let Him work. :)
 

Depleted

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2015
22,166
480
83
Philly, PA, USA
#3
Here is my testimony: http://christianchat.com/testimonies/159055-3-bipolar-hospitalizations-lead-me-jesus.html

My question is: How can I save my family?

Should I buy them books on heaven and hell? Or will that just scare them away?

What should I do?

Thanks.

Edit: I'm going to guess that I can't, only God can?
Good guessing skills you have. :)

No, you definitely don't want to send them books about heaven and hell. My family believes in heaven and hell, and think because they believe God is, they get the eternal vacation plan which they call heaven. It's not that. We're saved into the Lord. It's about him, not about eternal destinations. He's the cake -- the main part of dessert. Heaven is merely the frosting.

And, I'd tell you just the right words, but I've had this frustration for 45 years, and so far, only got one brother to go from atheist to agnostic. Still not good enough.


All I can say is pray, pray, pray for God's mercy and for him to give you what to say if they ever listen. And pray, pray, pray, that the Lord gets them to the point of truly listening.
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
9,893
698
113
#4
Pray for your family, witness in deed. Let them see the difference in you, and want to know more. My parents were not saved, my brother and sister still are not. I gave them Bibles and reading materials, told them about Jesus. But, nothing happened.

Then, about 25 years after I was saved, my father said he saw a real difference in me since I had become a Christian, and to hold onto it, and never let go of my faith. BUT, he was still not interested.

Fast forward another 5 years, and my father was dying of congestive heart failure. He was permanently in the hospital, other than me taking him out in the wheelchair, he never left again. When he first started getting sick, in the hospital, he had an incident where he almost died. My husband told him he needed to repent of his sins. Wow! That did it.

We prayed together, and he was a totally different person! He lasted another 5 months, I read him the Bible every day on my visits, and played him Christian music and prayed with him. In turn, he witnessed about Jesus to all the staff. He told me, he wished he had known when he was younger that God was the most important thing!

We also reconciled from issues we had from my teens. It was very healing for both of us. He is with Jesus now, that is what matters. (My mom also accepted Christ a few years earlier, when I witnessed to her for a course on evangelism I was taking!

So, don't give up expect a miracle, but in God's timing, not yours.
 

PJW

Banned
Oct 6, 2017
859
5
0
#5

SarahLaLuz

Junior Member
Oct 4, 2017
8
3
0
#7
Hello, I read your post and wanted to encourage you to stay on your medications. Second I wanted to let you know that by reading the word things will change in everyone's heart as the Bible comes to life through your voice. The one thing I tell people is that we are all misfits on this little blue planet, looking for a home we can go to where there is no sickness, disease or sorrow. One day our Savior will return and catch us all away from here, and we will have new life with him, Praise the Lord. But until then, we must do our part to walk in his ways and learn them. Reading the word out loud to people in the family will give them an understanding that can open doors of change. You see, it takes the Holy Spirit of God to do the changing, in all of us. He does the convicting and the things necessary to cause us all to walk closer to him. Christian worship music is another good way to open doors of communication. Youtube is full of some great music. Lord bless you as you head on this journey. :D

John 14:27 Jesus says, "[SUP]27 [/SUP]Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
 

Depleted

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2015
22,166
480
83
Philly, PA, USA
#8
Lead by example.
When they see the change in you, they will glorify God.
Then they will be drawn to Him.
Example hasn't work for me in 45 years. They see I've changed. They like the new me over the old me, BUT they think it's cute that I believe in all this holy roller stuff. And the weird part is I don't believe much of the holy roller stuff. They'd know that, if I could ever get them to let me say more than half a sentence about God before they gave me one of these two signs:


or


(They really hate God.)
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
9,893
698
113
#9
Example hasn't work for me in 45 years. They see I've changed. They like the new me over the old me, BUT they think it's cute that I believe in all this holy roller stuff. And the weird part is I don't believe much of the holy roller stuff. They'd know that, if I could ever get them to let me say more than half a sentence about God before they gave me one of these two signs:


or


(They really hate God.)
We really need a "sad" emoticon for posts like this! Just don't give up! While there is life, there's hope!
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
5,463
393
83
#10
Should I buy them books on heaven and hell? Or will that just scare them away?
Only God does the saving, but you can give a Bible to each one (with a suitable Gospel tract inserted) and tell each one plainly that you have received the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior, and you want each one to come to your baptism (if you have not already been baptized as a believer). This is where you can give a public testimony, which they all will hear. That should have a tremendous impact.
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,800
92
48
#11
My question is: How can I save my family?

Should I buy them books on heaven and hell? Or will that just scare them away?
No, they would probably be insulted if you bought them books, they wouldn't read them either, so it would be a waste of money. Any nonbeliever needs the desire to emanate from within themselves. "For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened" (Matthew 7:8). Your family isn't knocking, so He won't open the door. Its not an issue you can force or inspire if there's no honest interest there. Some people just have a tough time believing anything, so they're content to believe nothing.
 

Aboundingjoy

Junior Member
Sep 17, 2017
15
1
3
#12
Hi! So, welcome to the family! I understand your desire to see your family saved, but as you stated, only God can do that. Remember that you and I did not get saved b/c we wanted it. It was pure grace, a gift from God so we have nothing to boast.

My sister and I came to the Lord about the same time decades ago, but my brother, he's still lost. We've been praying for him but all I know is that it's not time yet. When I first got saved, I used to argue with him, and reason with him, guilt him, etc to try to "get him saved." But that only got him more distant and hard hearted. Since then learned that "the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power" (1 Cor 4:20). I've been loving him and just "hanging out" with him even though often it killed me inside to see him so lost. But over the years, he has become more open and "interested".

I want to encourage you to keep loving Jesus and let Christ continue to change you and make you more and more like him. Let your love and good works draw your family to you, and to Christ who is in you. Be patient with your family, and keep loving them... just remember, no matter what they do, or who they are, God loves them. As you consistently love the Lord, and as they witness your transformation, they will wonder and I'm sure opportunities will come when they will want to know what happened to you. Until then, I want to encourage you to be patient and wait upon the Lord. Love them as well as you can and keep praying for them.
 

claysmithr

Senior Member
May 23, 2017
315
49
28
#13
I am afraid at this point that my transformation in Christ is mostly hidden or too subtle for them to pick up on.

For example, they probably aren't going to be happy with me being more charitable to church and in general.

I've always loved them, so there is no notable transformation that I can think of.

I actually typed up the Gospel for them

https://docs.google.com/document/d/13pvOX3KQwrBpnWNW4FLzsO12nP11uU5IMXZHzu6MUSE/edit?usp=sharing

but it mostly went ignored. I warned them about hell once but it just got one of them angry.

My parents just ignore for the most part, my brother doesn't know why we should trust the bible, but I don't think he really cares to find out why.

I'm not sure if there is much to do besides pray and open up when I feel got tugging me to.

Honestly I'm scared for my family, but not for myself.
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,800
92
48
#14
Put yourself in their position, if you were a nonbeliever and someone warned you about hell, how would you react? No one likes a pushy self-righteous religious person, they just agitate others and try to intimidate them with fear. You might be scared for them, but they fear nothing because they don't buy into the malarkey Christians spew. God willing, they will one day be brought to a point where their interest changes, but you can't force the issue and approach them as a conversion chore. Jesus spoke to those who willingly came to hear, he didn't handcuff them and use a blow horn :). You planted a seed and that's enough, whether it grows or not is between them and God now... jmo
 

slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
5,939
579
113
#15
Your story touched me in the other post you gave your testimony in. God has irrefutably brought you to where you are now; and I can see you believe that, and your character being developed. So, rely on His revelations and guidance all the more in your walk with Him thru the Holy Spirit in the desire to influence your family toward Christ in obedience, knowing all along that if we lift Him up He will draw all men to Himself. Its not so much we do nothing as He does it all, but rather we do as He leads us to do, in accordance with His will. We have been called by God to be co-workers in Christ.. Only thru righteousness can productivity take place in our lives; for His will to be served with power. Don't let Satan dupe you into thinking you must not be truthful in order to make them happy. That is fools gold. Yet always remember to be in the demeanor Christ has given you in your New Creation; to be gentle and respectful at every turn, always wrapped in love. I will keep you in prayer as well, for His Church is to act this way in support.

To transform others' lives, we simply must act according to our relationship with that person premised by our relationship with God. For example, if you are a wife, you will lead your husband to Christ by the hidden beauty of your life. If you are a husband, you must take spiritual leadership, call your wife to obedience, and serve her sacrificially (Eph 5:22-26). If you are a parent, give your children prime time, personal attention, and affectionate love. Teach them, pray with and for them, and call them to obedience (Eph 6:4). If you are a child, you will win your parents to Christ by honoring and obeying them (Eph 6:1-2). If you are a brother or sister, be faithful and self-sacrificing. God has created these relationships; they are the primary ways in which He works.

When we act according to our relationships, we see the Lord moving powerfully. Usually the first reaction is resistance. Things get worse before they get better. The family becomes even more divided. Jesus came "for division. From now on, a household of five will be divided three against two and two against three; father will be split against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law, daughter-in-law against mother-in-law" (Luke 12:51-53). However, this division is part of the process of reordering the family. When something is put together wrong, it must be dismantled before it can be resembled properly.

During this time of division, we feel worse, worried, and fearful. The devil uses these circumstances to manipulate us into our taking back control of our lives and families. We are like fishermen who have thrown out our lines; but every time we're afraid, worried or resentful, we reel them in a little. Soon the cares we have "cast" on the Lord are back in our hands (see 1 Pt 5:7). Trust the Lord. Keep your family and loved ones in the nail-scarred hands of the crucified and glorified One, Jesus. He is your Savior and your family's Savior.

Your prayers are according to His will and He promises if we ask He will answer. May God embolden you in the confidence of Christ; and may God give you good support tools to help in the actualities of those influences as well, for we know the Bible is good for Teaching, Rebuking, Correcting, and Training in Righteousness. Let the Holy Spirit and His Word be the premise to your restful confidence. Seek and do simply as He makes clear for you to do and He will lift your family up to Himself. Live the normal redemptive life spiritually in your new natural sacrificial lifestyle to these ends in accordance with His will and God will empower you and will be faithful to you and your family for He is God .They must choose, but God will be about your family indeed, as He is using you now to influence them. God bless.

Also, my name is Dan, if you ever want to PM me for more specific tools in helping ... feel free to visit me, what God has given me in grace, I would freely give away.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,498
1,123
113
63
#16
Here is my testimony: http://christianchat.com/testimonies/159055-3-bipolar-hospitalizations-lead-me-jesus.html

My question is: How can I save my family?

Should I buy them books on heaven and hell? Or will that just scare them away?

What should I do?

Thanks.

Edit: I'm going to guess that I can't, only God can?
You're right, only God can, however it's up to you to provide for your family and set a good example as a husband and father. Keep encouraging them to seek the Lord but don't put undue pressure on them or you will drive them away. The only book worth buying is the Holy Bible. Keep praying for your family for them to come and know the Lord and to give their hearts to Him.
 

PJW

Banned
Oct 6, 2017
859
5
0
#17
Example hasn't work for me in 45 years. They see I've changed. They like the new me over the old me, BUT they think it's cute that I believe in all this holy roller stuff. And the weird part is I don't believe much of the holy roller stuff. They'd know that, if I could ever get them to let me say more than half a sentence about God before they gave me one of these two signs:

They really hate God.)
Your disbelief has nullified your testimony.
Had your example included separating yourself from them, your testimony would have been the example for them to follow.
Why should they follow you into something you don't believe?
 

claysmithr

Senior Member
May 23, 2017
315
49
28
#18
You're right, only God can, however it's up to you to provide for your family and set a good example as a husband and father. Keep encouraging them to seek the Lord but don't put undue pressure on them or you will drive them away. The only book worth buying is the Holy Bible. Keep praying for your family for them to come and know the Lord and to give their hearts to Him.
I'm neither husband nor father (I'm the youngest and already divorced :( ), but thanks, I will keep praying for them.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
23,391
1,333
113
#19
Should I buy them books on heaven and hell? Or will that just scare them away?
The apostle to the gentiles, Paul, claimed that he was taught by the revelation of Jesus Christ. He said "You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you but have taught you publicly and from house to house." (Acts 20:20) He also said in Acts 20:27, "I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God." Paul never once mentioned hell in any of his writings.
 

Solemateleft

Senior Member
Jun 25, 2017
130
6
0
#20
God bless you brother.
I have tremendous empathy for you and your families situation... mental illness and personality disorders are very real and unfortunately qualified help is few and far between. Keep your faith in the lord above all else, pray for strength to endure and persevere along your life's journey. Seek comfort in becoming the best version of yourself and find peace thru prayer and good deeds obo your family.
God Bless