I have anger management issues.

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Kaylyn

Junior Member
Jan 3, 2018
17
0
0
#1
My sister and I have had anger issues since we were kids. Sometimes I get so angry I destroy whatever is in my hand or hit myself in the head. I never point my anger at anyone or any living thing. Sometimes I get so angry, grinding my teeth so hard I begin to gag. I'm worried I'll have a stroke.
This isn't God's righteous anger, there is nothing righteous about this. My therapist (a Christian woman) says I am having tantrums. I said these tantrums feel like they're going to kill me. I am so frustrated about a myriad of things, I know that And I try to give it to God sometimes. The language I use is awful. I take God's beautiful name vain and use the f-word. I don't want this. I don't.
 
Dec 26, 2017
257
4
18
#2
My sister and I have had anger issues since we were kids. Sometimes I get so angry I destroy whatever is in my hand or hit myself in the head. I never point my anger at anyone or any living thing. Sometimes I get so angry, grinding my teeth so hard I begin to gag. I'm worried I'll have a stroke.
This isn't God's righteous anger, there is nothing righteous about this. My therapist (a Christian woman) says I am having tantrums. I said these tantrums feel like they're going to kill me. I am so frustrated about a myriad of things, I know that And I try to give it to God sometimes. The language I use is awful. I take God's beautiful name vain and use the f-word. I don't want this. I don't.
It's interesting I read your post and thought about myself.....I can relate your your anger problem. I have always had anger problems as a child as well, just from a lot of issues from childhood. I would destroy things.... punch holes in walls.. just so much. As I'm everyday getting past the anger... I'm learning when something makes me that mad I stop....Look. And listen. It helps me.. and walking away. Also, I have a note book and I have written down a lot of scriptures dealing with anger. The very best thing I have done for my anger GIVE IT TO GOD. Pray.. even fast... just don't let it overtake your life. It won't happen overnight but it will daily begin to fade away. Get to the root also of the anger and give that to God he will help you!
 
Dec 26, 2017
257
4
18
#3
It's interesting I read your post and thought about myself.....I can relate your your anger problem. I have always had anger problems as a child as well, just from a lot of issues from childhood. I would destroy things.... punch holes in walls.. just so much. As I'm everyday getting past the anger... I'm learning when something makes me that mad I stop....Look. And listen. It helps me.. and walking away. Also, I have a note book and I have written down a lot of scriptures dealing with anger. The very best thing I have done for my anger GIVE IT TO GOD. Pray.. even fast... just don't let it overtake your life. It won't happen overnight but it will daily begin to fade away. Get to the root also of the anger and give that to God he will help you!

Here are some verses to look up
Ephesians 4:26-31
James 1:19-20
Proverbs 29:11
Proverbs 19:11
I have more you can Pm if you need more. I hope I have helped you God Bless
 

Eromonnis

Senior Member
Dec 21, 2017
138
6
0
#4
My sister and I have had anger issues since we were kids. Sometimes I get so angry I destroy whatever is in my hand or hit myself in the head. I never point my anger at anyone or any living thing. Sometimes I get so angry, grinding my teeth so hard I begin to gag. I'm worried I'll have a stroke.
This isn't God's righteous anger, there is nothing righteous about this. My therapist (a Christian woman) says I am having tantrums. I said these tantrums feel like they're going to kill me. I am so frustrated about a myriad of things, I know that And I try to give it to God sometimes. The language I use is awful. I take God's beautiful name vain and use the f-word. I don't want this. I don't.
Anger is an expression of fear, fear about things not going your way.
Why are you afraid of anything not going your way?

You will still be okay if things change on you. Even today, after all the things that have changed, you are still alive and okay. So why fear change.

Many people who get angry do so because they actually have a lack of coping skills. Such as, coping with disappointment (unmet expectations), coping with the unknown, coping with waiting, coping with loss, etc., Those who learn how to cope with life (the world) don't get angry.

Coping skills are not generally taught at schools, but mainly at home, and by other people through examples (role models). Unfortunately, there are also a lot of bad ways to cope. Anger is a desperate way of trying to get someone else to change or cope for you.

There is a lot of coping skills to be learnt. Have a go at making a list of anything you cannot cope with, and talk to your therapist about them.
 
Dec 26, 2017
257
4
18
#5
Anger is an expression of fear, fear about things not going your way.
Why are you afraid of anything not going your way?

You will still be okay if things change on you. Even today, after all the things that have changed, you are still alive and okay. So why fear change.

Many people who get angry do so because they actually have a lack of coping skills. Such as, coping with disappointment (unmet expectations), coping with the unknown, coping with waiting, coping with loss, etc., Those who learn how to cope with life (the world) don't get angry.

Coping skills are not generally taught at schools, but mainly at home, and by other people through examples (role models). Unfortunately, there are also a lot of bad ways to cope. Anger is a desperate way of trying to get someone else to change or cope for you.

There is a lot of coping skills to be learnt. Have a go at making a list of anything you cannot cope with, and talk to your therapist about them.
Never thought of it that way... or didn't realize it
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
5,799
551
113
#6
My sister and I have had anger issues since we were kids...
"Anger management" is another one of those terms which should never have been coined in the first place. One does not "manage" anger but deals with it. Sometimes expressing anger is a necessity when we see evil and injustice go unpunished. However dealing with frustration is another matter. It means that you are allowing circumstances to dictate to you and how you respond to them.

Some circumstances are beyond your control, and getting angry over their existence will not change them. The weather is a good example. Other circumstances are within your control and instead of getting angry, you can take positive steps to change those circumstances. A nasty mother-in-law is a good example. All you have to do is avoid contact.

So begin by committing your life and all your circumstances to God, then sit down and work out a concrete plan to deal with the things you can deal with,
 
H

heartofdavid

Guest
#7
Also,anger is a decision. Realize you are deciding to get mad.
We justify anger as if we are entitled to anger.
We are not.
Choose the other emotion.
Consider it being good to yourself.
 
Feb 5, 2017
1,119
34
0
#8
What is your sleep pattern?
 
Jan 12, 2018
17
0
0
#9
My sister and I have had anger issues since we were kids. Sometimes I get so angry I destroy whatever is in my hand or hit myself in the head. I never point my anger at anyone or any living thing. Sometimes I get so angry, grinding my teeth so hard I begin to gag. I'm worried I'll have a stroke.
This isn't God's righteous anger, there is nothing righteous about this. My therapist (a Christian woman) says I am having tantrums. I said these tantrums feel like they're going to kill me. I am so frustrated about a myriad of things, I know that And I try to give it to God sometimes. The language I use is awful. I take God's beautiful name vain and use the f-word. I don't want this. I don't.
Ephesians 4:17-32 NIV
So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. [18] They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. [19] Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed. [20] That, however, is not the way of life you learned [21] when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. [22] You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; [23] to be made new in the attitude of your minds; [24] and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. [25] Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. [26] “In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, [27] and do not give the devil a foothold. [28] Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. [29] Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. [30] And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. [31] Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. [32] Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
7,619
428
83
#10
try and concentrate on the things in your life that bring you some kind of joy or peacefulness -
'control' begins with ourselves and then we can win new victories that God will assist us with,
if we honestly beseech His help and do our home-work with all diligence of heart...
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
8,473
227
63
#11
My sister and I have had anger issues since we were kids. Sometimes I get so angry I destroy whatever is in my hand or hit myself in the head. I never point my anger at anyone or any living thing. Sometimes I get so angry, grinding my teeth so hard I begin to gag. I'm worried I'll have a stroke.
This isn't God's righteous anger, there is nothing righteous about this. My therapist (a Christian woman) says I am having tantrums. I said these tantrums feel like they're going to kill me. I am so frustrated about a myriad of things, I know that And I try to give it to God sometimes. The language I use is awful. I take God's beautiful name vain and use the f-word. I don't want this. I don't.
I always say I don't need anger management ... I need people to stop working so hard to p*ss me off!
 

OneFaith

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2016
2,029
226
63
#12
“I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.” You can control your anger. At the first sign that you are getting angry close your eyes, breathe in slowly through your nose, then slowly out your mouth. You can then change your emotion by changing your facial expression. Do this in the middle of a conversation if you have to, it is far less embarrassing than throwing a tantrum like a two year old. And showing you can take control of a difficult situation, such as anger, increases others trust in you, and makes you feel better about yourself.
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,817
107
63
#13
Anger is not a problem, even God gets angry.. Its our reaction to what's happening around us that needs to be controlled. When things don't go right, anxiety builds up and patience wears thin, and that's when we explode. Things are never as they should be, and people are seldom what we expect, but throwing a hissy-fit changes nothing. Just got to take a chill pill and learn to roll with it. I personally pretend that the people who are driving me nuts are a bunch of 5 year old's, this changes my perspective so I can talk and handle things in a calm collective manner.

I remember that I often lost my temper in traffic, cussing people who were blocking traffic and slowing everyone down. I hated jerks like that and flipped them off regularly. One day, my car died on a busy street and backed up traffic. Everyone going around me had some choice words and gestures, it was anger on over-load. They were mean unsympathetic people who reminded me of me. I never wanted to be like them again. A car finally pulled up behind me, 2 guys got out and push me off onto the shoulder, then gave me a ride to a service station. Anger fuels problems, kindness solves them.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
5,376
772
113
#14
My sister and I have had anger issues since we were kids. Sometimes I get so angry I destroy whatever is in my hand or hit myself in the head. I never point my anger at anyone or any living thing. Sometimes I get so angry, grinding my teeth so hard I begin to gag. I'm worried I'll have a stroke.
This isn't God's righteous anger, there is nothing righteous about this. My therapist (a Christian woman) says I am having tantrums. I said these tantrums feel like they're going to kill me. I am so frustrated about a myriad of things, I know that And I try to give it to God sometimes. The language I use is awful. I take God's beautiful name vain and use the f-word. I don't want this. I don't.
You mention a therapist who is a Christian... has she addressed the roots of your anger? The reason I ask is that I too had anger issues, until I followed a procedure recommended by my Christian counselor. It was very effective in dealing with the core of the problem.
 
Sep 3, 2016
1,524
45
48
#15
For if you live after the flesh (after your own strength and ability, which is outside of God's Prescribed Order), you shall die (you will not be able to live a victorious, Christian life): but if you through the Spirit (by the Power of the Holy Spirit) do mortify the deeds of the body (which the Holy Spirit Alone can do), you shall live (shall walk in victory; but once again, even at the risk of being overly repetitive, we must never forget that the Spirit works totally and completely within the confines of the Cross of Christ; this means that we must ever make the Cross the Object of our Faith, giving Him latitude to work). Romans 8:13
 

Kaylyn

Junior Member
Jan 3, 2018
17
0
0
#16
It's interesting I read your post and thought about myself.....I can relate your your anger problem. I have always had anger problems as a child as well, just from a lot of issues from childhood. I would destroy things.... punch holes in walls.. just so much. As I'm everyday getting past the anger... I'm learning when something makes me that mad I stop....Look. And listen. It helps me.. and walking away. Also, I have a note book and I have written down a lot of scriptures dealing with anger. The very best thing I have done for my anger GIVE IT TO GOD. Pray.. even fast... just don't let it overtake your life. It won't happen overnight but it will daily begin to fade away. Get to the root also of the anger and give that to God he will help you!
I know what you mean. I am working on saying "stop" when I feel myself about to go off. I have a Christian therapist and she thinks my anger may have something to do with how I see myself, that I may hate myself so much that it's an underlying push to such dramatic anger outbursts. Especially since it is never directed at anyone or anything. Just myself and my surroundings.