I need advice

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May 20, 2017
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#1
I am in a relationship of 10month, and we love each other well. How will I cope with my fiance that is so abusive n never accept his wrong but if I try to correct him he will flare up n start abusing me. I'm fed up
 

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
May 3, 2017
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#2
I am in a relationship of 10month, and we love each other well. How will I cope with my fiance that is so abusive n never accept his wrong but if I try to correct him he will flare up n start abusing me. I'm fed up
Hi Titilope...Abuse of any kind is not love , for God is love , and Him is no darkness...
Are you a born again Christian ?...xox...
 

Homewardbound

Active member
Dec 10, 2018
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#3
I encourage you to get out NOW. I recently counselled a guy who was in an abusive relationship to get out of it.
He hung around, and it did not work out well for him. 10 months is relatively short.
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
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#4
I am in a relationship of 10month, and we love each other well. How will I cope with my fiance that is so abusive n never accept his wrong but if I try to correct him he will flare up n start abusing me. I'm fed up
Love is too often confused with it's hormonal cousins, lust and wantonness.

Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit.
 
Jan 13, 2019
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#5
“Love is patient love is kind........” get out while you can that guy does not love you. You are worth much more than that.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
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#6
I am in a relationship of 10month, and we love each other well. How will I cope with my fiance that is so abusive n never accept his wrong but if I try to correct him he will flare up n start abusing me. I'm fed up
Sorry to hear this. Your best course of action is to get out and stay out. This will only get worse.

Because you have said he is abusive, I suggest going "no contact" immediately. Change the locks, and if he shows up tell him to leave you alone. If he shows up again, call the police and get a restraining order against him. Don't give him an opportunity to explain, for he will likely give you some lie to manipulate you into staying involved.

Even if he is only "emotionally" abusive, I'd suggest ending the relationship immediately. Emotional abuse is hard to define, but you will know it by how it makes you feel... inadequate, inferior, and like things he does are your fault.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
66,751
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#7
I am in a relationship of 10month, and we love each other well. How will I cope with my fiance that is so abusive n never accept his wrong but if I try to correct him he will flare up n start abusing me. I'm fed up
If he loved you, he wouldn't abuse you. If you loved yourself, you wouldn't stay with him. It WILL only get worse if you marry him. This is a train wreck in progress..

trainwreck.gif
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
2,355
2,444
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#8
I am in a relationship of 10month, and we love each other well. How will I cope with my fiance that is so abusive n never accept his wrong but if I try to correct him he will flare up n start abusing me. I'm fed up
Um do not ponder, wonder, or what if this situation, just get yourself some good running shoes and get the heck out of dodge.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
903
682
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#9
I am in a relationship of 10month, and we love each other well. How will I cope with my fiance that is so abusive n never accept his wrong but if I try to correct him he will flare up n start abusing me. I'm fed up
If he can never accept he is wrong, he can't b alright.
 
Jun 20, 2017
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#10
Put space between you 2 then seek better way to be together be prepared and love will find a way if its meant to be.

Manschild
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
8,985
477
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#11
Proof again that love makes you blind ... and stupid ;)
 

Kim82

Active member
Jun 17, 2018
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#12
Make it your new year's resolution to end the relationship.
 
Jan 1, 2019
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#13
I would just re-iterate what the others have said...there is no reason for you to stay in this relationship. I have no doubt that you love your partner. But, if your partner truly loved you, then he would not abuse. As I Cor 13.7 tells us: "Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through EVERY circumstance". If he loved you he would not treat you badly, no matter what the circumstance is - being told he is wrong or when being corrected. Unless your partner is willing to make a change, then it is time for you to say goodbye and move on.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
2,355
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#14
Also....by staying with abusive behavior, one is enabling that kind of behavior. I would argue that if you really love him, selflessly and sacrificially, then you will help him by not accepting that destructive behavior. In other words, your allowances is your destructive behavior, not his.

I am not judging, as I speak from personal experience. I had to eventually love him enough to walk away.

Loving hugs...♡
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#15
I am in a relationship of 10month, and we love each other well. How will I cope with my fiance that is so abusive n never accept his wrong but if I try to correct him he will flare up n start abusing me. I'm fed up
You really don't need to cope with and abusive fiancée. You are getting a sneak preview on how is he going to treat you once you are married. My counsel is to end the relationship.
 

Kyless123

New member
Dec 2, 2018
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#18
It would be the best to leave him. Most the time those people will get worse over time. Maybe tell him through a message?
 

Jan7777777

Active member
Oct 19, 2018
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#19
I am in a relationship of 10month, and we love each other well. How will I cope with my fiance that is so abusive n never accept his wrong but if I try to correct him he will flare up n start abusing me. I'm fed up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was married to mentally abusive man who was PTSD, it got somewhat better when he took meds for it, after 28 1/2 miserable years that killed my love. an abusive person will always have that disease, and pray about it, you don't want it to get so bad that your personality changes to bitter anger like I did. its getting better, but now, I just flat out don't trust men is why I don't date anymore
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
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#20
so sorry to hear that u think that u can never trust 'men' - maybe it could be better said, that you can never 'trust YOUR choices' -
life is a continual journey in order for us to refine our choices/selves, and grow into a new and better person...