In-Law issues

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May 17, 2016
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#1
Hi Y'all, I need guidance on what to do.
I'm going to try to explain this simply and as short as possible.

My husband and I bought a boat hull, nothing fancy just a project for us to work on and hopefully get in the water by next year. We live in Texas and drove about two hours to Oklahoma to pick it up, with the trailer it was just $250. We had issues with meeting the man up and all kinds of stuff but when we get there he tells us there's no title, he has another boat with a motor for the same price with a title if we want it but it's not that hard to get a title.
While we had all the issues and while we planned the trip to go get the boat my husband didn't tell his parents because they are extremely controlling. When we hadn't had said boat a full day and my husband decided to go ahead and tell them about our it because it's all said and done. My FIL flips out saying we made a huge mistake that we can't get a title and wasted our time and money.
Right now, we're lucky enough that $250 isn't that big of a deal to us so we have the mindset of if it's going to work out it will but with less than two hours of googling and looking at government websites, we found out that we can, in fact, get a title but it's going to take more work than we had originally thought (I should note the man we bought the boat from was right in Oklahoma it is very easy to get a title). At the same time, my MIL is calling and texting my husband and telling him it's all going to be ok it's just a mistake and will not let it go, which is making him mad.
That was all last night then today I got a phone call and my in-laws contacted the guy we got the boat from when we didn't tell them anything about him and told him that he did us wrong and to give us a refund. We are in good standings with him and had no issue with him (hopefully still are we wanted to go back and get a motor from him).
At first, it was just water off a duck's back to me but now I'm upset and I know my husband is going to be beyond mad.
I have no clue how to handle this, I could use prayers and any advice you could give.
 

HoneyDew

Senior Member
Apr 30, 2011
1,871
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#2
How old are you and your husband?
Do you live with your inlaws?
Do you and your husband owe them money?
Why do you have to EXPLAIN anything to your inlaws about what you two, as a couple, are doing with your money?

Sometimes we share to much with people opening the door for opinions and other actions that we may not want or need.
It is up to your husband to have a conversation about boundaries with his parents. Your husband is a man with a wife now and not a little boy. His parents are interfering because they are allowed to. Time for them to let there son be a man and time for him to stand up and be one.
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,830
132
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#4
I got a phone call and my in-laws contacted the guy we got the boat from when we didn't tell them anything about him and told him that he did us wrong and to give us a refund.
It would seem that your mistake was telling your in-laws too much of your business? Giving them the name and phone number of the guy you bought the boat haul from was pretty much inviting them to get involved and interfere. My advise would just be to omit details in order to avoid future over-reach by your FIL. He probably thinks he's being of service by helping or protecting you? In the future, silence is golden when dealing with someone who's good intentions cause you headaches :)
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
24,138
2,071
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#5
It would seem that your mistake was telling your in-laws too much of your business? Giving them the name and phone number of the guy you bought the boat haul from was pretty much inviting them to get involved and interfere. My advise would just be to omit details in order to avoid future over-reach by your FIL. He probably thinks he's being of service by helping or protecting you? In the future, silence is golden when dealing with someone who's good intentions cause you headaches :)
... my in-laws contacted the guy we got the boat from when we didn't tell them anything about him...
The in-laws found that stuff out on their own :p

Jazzlynn, your in-laws are not about to change right away or admit to any wrong doing. I would suggest contacting the seller if you need to have any further dealings with him, and politely requesting he ignore the meddlesome couple. If you do not need to have any further dealings with him, you could still contact him and apologize for the behavior of your in-laws. Perhaps your husband should do that. If everything was above-board and as the seller said, he does not deserve to be getting the third degree from people he does not even know :)
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
6,270
1,520
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#6
Hi Jazzlynn,
I can relate, distantly: my parents left a foreign country and moved to Canada to get away from Mom's parents and their meddling. It caused a rift for a while, but they got over it.

I would highly recommend that you obtain and read Boundaries by John Townsend and Henry Cloud. They're Christians and the advice is widely applicable.

The other thing I would do is politely but firmly tell the in-laws to get out of my business... and stay out. If they can't, I would cut them out of my life. It sounds harsh, but the peace may be worth the loss.
 

Dynamaniac

Junior Member
Feb 10, 2017
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#7
I'm sorry you're dealing with these issues. Do you guys live with them? And/or do they financially support your family? Sometimes, our parents tend to forget that we have to live our own lives and make our own mistakes. Once things calm down a bit, perhaps you all could have some form of a conversation asking for their support in making your own decisions, not criticizing and judging you based on what they would or would not do. In any event, remember to honor them, forgive them, and love them. Also remember that sometimes, these things require some distance.