Is it Biblical to marry a divorced person?

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Naamini

New member
Jan 26, 2021
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#21
Again, Paul wrote:

1 Corinthians 7:16 NLT - "Don't you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don't you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?"

This statement would cause a person to conclude that these wives had married "against God's will."

Should we go against this teaching, too?
The Bible says, for above rule, i think it's for those who are unequally yoked ( unbelievers).

But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. (1 Corinthians 7:12-13|NKJV
 

Naamini

New member
Jan 26, 2021
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#22
This is a topic that requires in-depth study. Here's a good place for you to begin, a paper by Christopher Terry: "A Limited Case For Divorce And Remarriage: A Study Of 1 Corinthians 7:27-28."

There's a link to the paper on the website below.

https://crt010304.wordpress.com/a-l...d-remarriage-a-study-of-1-corinthians-727-28/
Good study in this link.. He proofs that there is a limited allowance for believers to divorce and remarrying.

Quote from the Link below..

". The purpose of this paper is to demonstrate that there is a
limited allowance for divorce and remarriage found in 1 Corinthians 7:27-28. Specifically, it allows for
those who have been divorced prior to conversion to remarry and by extension those believers who
have been divorced because an unbelieving spouse abandoned them. Stated another way, in Corinth
the situation was unique and does not provide a blanket approval for all divorce and remarriage"
 
S

Starsdance

Guest
#23
Nov 12, 2021
490
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#24
Here is the thing with leaving a marriage ------we tend to blame the other person for not measuring up to what we expect from them ------when really we are the one with the baggage as well -----so when we say -I'm not happy anymore -I fell out of Love with my mate ---the fun is gone ---attention is gone ----sex has dwindled ----we play the blame game so we can justify the leaving -----No one wants to look at their own short comings and all the baggage we carried into the marriage -----so we leave that marriage and we choose not to see our faults and go on the search for another who will make us feel better ----

BUT --here is the truth ----we just take our baggage with us to the other person and eventually the fun is gone again ------We need to fix ourselves first ----see our faults ----and work on them ------so we don't take our unhappiness and all our baggage to the other person ------

You see ----it is not how the other person treats us ---it is about how we treat the other person ----we cannot change the other mate but we can change ourselves and by the mate seeing the change in us --we just may change the Mate -----many say a marriage is 50 -50% but it really isn't ---it is 100---100% ----and until we can give 100% we will never be content ----

Agape ---God's love is the only Love that will survive a marriage ------Agape loves the unlovely -----God Loves us with all our baggage and faults and that is the way we need to see our Mate ------

Without God in the marriage ----it will fail as Satan is the master of division in families ------Satan hates to see families survive together --and will put a wedge in whenever he see the opportunity ----
 

EternalFire

Well-known member
Jan 3, 2019
523
294
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#25
Hello, your name reminds me of a song named eternal flame, I like the song!
That's a great song by The Bangles. There is certainly some overlap between the meaning of my name and the name of the song. May our love for God through our Lord Jesus Messiah burn as an eternal flame never to be extinguished.

Your name seems to have been inspired by music. Can you make the stars dance? Let our lives make them dance in praise to God!
 

Naamini

New member
Jan 26, 2021
26
9
3
#26
Here is the thing with leaving a marriage ------we tend to blame the other person for not measuring up to what we expect from them ------when really we are the one with the baggage as well -----so when we say -I'm not happy anymore -I fell out of Love with my mate ---the fun is gone ---attention is gone ----sex has dwindled ----we play the blame game so we can justify the leaving -----No one wants to look at their own short comings and all the baggage we carried into the marriage -----so we leave that marriage and we choose not to see our faults and go on the search for another who will make us feel better ----

BUT --here is the truth ----we just take our baggage with us to the other person and eventually the fun is gone again ------We need to fix ourselves first ----see our faults ----and work on them ------so we don't take our unhappiness and all our baggage to the other person ------

You see ----it is not how the other person treats us ---it is about how we treat the other person ----we cannot change the other mate but we can change ourselves and by the mate seeing the change in us --we just may change the Mate -----many say a marriage is 50 -50% but it really isn't ---it is 100---100% ----and until we can give 100% we will never be content ----

Agape ---God's love is the only Love that will survive a marriage ------Agape loves the unlovely -----God Loves us with all our baggage and faults and that is the way we need to see our Mate ------

Without God in the marriage ----it will fail as Satan is the master of division in families ------Satan hates to see families survive together --and will put a wedge in whenever he see the opportunity ----
Very true studentoftheWord. The baggage will roll into the new house. I think that's why Jesus Christ discouraged divorce aiming to help us out from inside out. What comes from the heart is what defiles a man..
 
S

Starsdance

Guest
#27
That's a great song by The Bangles. There is certainly some overlap between the meaning of my name and the name of the song. May our love for God through our Lord Jesus Messiah burn as an eternal flame never to be extinguished.

Your name seems to have been inspired by music. Can you make the stars dance? Let our lives make them dance in praise to God!
Amen,bro.Great name:) Yes, my name is also a song name,Stars dance. God created the universe and the stars in the sky, Only God can make the stars dance, all the creations should praise Him!
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
7,375
1,173
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#28
It's clear that divorce is not allowed unless it's because of unfaithfulness in marriage. So should we go ahead and get into marriage with other divorced person?
I don't know indepth of this topic from the Bible that's why I asked here.
Thanks for your contribution and study. Iron sharpens iron indeed.
Mark and Luke's gospels do not allow for divorce and remarriage. In Matthew 19, there is a phrase 'except it be for fornication.' If a man divorces his wife, except it be for fornication, and marries another, he commits adultery. And he that marries her that is divorced commits adultery.

I know of no New Testament passage that allows for a man to marry a divorced woman if her husband cheated. It does not say that in Matthew 19. Some people assume it goes both ways, that what is good for the gander is good for the goose, but the Old Testament regulated polygyny but polyandry is adultery.

There are a lot of single people who have never been married. When i was single, divorced women were not in my consideration set. I would not want to put myself in a situation where I would have doubts about the validity of my marriage or for there even to be the slightest possibility that to be right with God I might have to break up my family. I wanted to marry a virgin. (Though I would not have considered it wrong to marry a widow, but I was young and wanted someone in the same situation as myself.) I wanted her father to give her to me in marriage. I prayed for that and God answered my prayers.

There are kind, faithful people who get married to a spouse who betrays them. But some people get divorced because they can't get along with their spouse. Then, if they are church people, they might wait out the other spouse to sleep around or marry to feel justified in remarrying.

There are also those married people who say, "My marriage was over a long time ago' to the boyfriend or girlfriend on the side and eventually file for divorce and marry the new boyfriend or girlfriend.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
7,375
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#29
I'm sure some will wish to use the bible to attack me, however, seven years ago I married a seventh day adventist. I had asked God to show me if I should marry the person. He showed me dramatically I should not. However, I married them anyway due to circumstances I will not now reveal. It was wrong of me, and I bitterly regret it. It very quickly became obvious we were two very different people with no agreement concerning our christian convictions. Then the woman got pregnant and insisted the child be raised in an sda church. I refused to agree, and told her if she would not agree to the child being raised in the church of my choice I would have no choice but to leave her. She would not agree to my request so we parted. All I can say is, God has blessed me greatly since I left her and kept me safe when I had to initially sleep rough upon our parting. I went against God's will for my life, and no matter how I might try, by doing so I could never find peace, happiness, or success by doing so. And at my age, I know, if I had left the woman against God's will, I would not have the peace I have now, nor would I have received the utterly underserved blessings I have since received. In most circumstances, if you are married you should remain married, but if you married, knowing it was going against God's will for your life to do so, I believe that is an entirely different scenario
Was she divorced? Were you?

If you marry and separate from your wife, don't marry or sleep with someone else. Provide for her and your child and be in your child's life. You would be neglecting the 'do not defraud' instruction in this situation.

Marriages aren't valid because God specifically authorizes someone to marry another. He set it up where fathers could give their daughters in marriage.

I would not have married an SDA, either, certaiinly not someone die hard into it. That's too big of a theological gap.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
7,375
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#30
Suppose someone gets married, and it is not to the person God wants them to marry. They have acted in disobedience. Such a marriage may well not last. You cannot dictate to God what you will do, and therefore go against his will for your life.
So, it is possible it is God's will for you to marry a divorced person, if they did not marry in accordance with God's will. Someone said to me once:
Trust your gut feeling, it will never let you down.''

So, if you wanted to marry a divorced person, would you have peace in your heart at the thought of doing so?
I read this, and I want to say, 'Yuck.' It reminds me of the horror stories of false prophecies where one person prophesies to another that 'she is not supposed to be your wife' or 'he is not supposed to be your husband.' When John the Baptist told Herod, "It is not lawful for thee to have her" he was prophesying to a man who had married his divorced brother's wife while his brother was still alive. This was contrary to the law in scripture.

I believe God can direct people, and can direct people to marry. He can give dreams, visions, prophecies, and speak to people's hearts. But for marriage, you don't have to get a word from God, either. 'If you marry you have not sinned...' and the widow may marry whomsoever she wills, but only in the Lord. If God doesn't give specific direction and we ask for wisdom in faith without doubting, then we get it. If we trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not to our own understanding, in all our ways acknowledge Him, then He will direct our paths.

God ordained marriage. What if someone goes into a marriage that fits God's laws and precepts-- marries someone who is not bound in marriage to someone else, honorably, the wife given in marriage-- but God had warned one about marrying the other. Would that make the marriage invalid? I do not believe so.

Consider another example in scripture. God commanded Israel to wipe out the Canaanites. But Israel foolishly believed some Canaanites, Gibeonites, who said they were from a far country and made a covenant with them. So they were not allowed to kill Gibeonites after that. When Saul killed them, Israel faced a drought for breaking covenant.

I remember when I was younger, I had an older female friend who said you have to be very careful to marry the person God has for you or you might have to get a divorce and marry the right person. I think i corrected her. It was hard to get a word in edgewise. But that is really wrong-headed thinking. She had heard testimonies of people who told of how God said that is your husband, that is your wife. And if that is legit, that is great. My wife had that experience right before our first conversation. I went home praying about if she was going to be my wife, but it would be a little longer before I sensed some kind of 'God told me' type situation.

If you make a mistake in choice of spouse, committing adultery, not providing for your own, not rendering due benevolence, disobeying Jesus' teaching about divorce, or the commandment of the Lord through Paul about not putting away your wife are NOT a solution about it.

Also, a feeling of peace can also be just not being around a stressful situation. Peace is a fruit of the Spirit. But notice when Jesus was about to face the cross and bearing our sin, He experienced some intense emotions in the garden of Gethsemene that do not seem like they were very pleasant when we read about them. He was about to face righteous suffering, and was in the midst of it on an emotional level. We should appreciate peace as a fruit of the Spirit, but we should not disregard the teaching of the Bible in favor of good feelings.
 

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
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#31
Mark and Luke's gospels do not allow for divorce and remarriage. In Matthew 19, there is a phrase 'except it be for fornication.' If a man divorces his wife, except it be for fornication, and marries another, he commits adultery.
Yep. And this is why I don't intend on ever being with another woman ever again. Are we really allowed to just run around, experience failed relationship's . . . one after another . . . so that we can get our thrills on?

I will add this: When a person Truly understands Fear of the Lord, the sexual experience seems absolutely stupid. The idea of intercourse seems childish. Furthermore, should a circumcised man really feel comfortable doing "that" with the very mark of the Lord's covenant inscribed on his member? No . . . the thought of it should become repulsive. Any circumcised man, who Truly understands that his "member" reflects the Circumcision of Christ, he should view that sexual act as something other than what it is.

Imagine how the Lord feels when He sees a human who runs around and says, "Yes! I'm a Christian!" Yet that man is sleeping with multiple women per week. That man is taking the very Covenant of God and abusing it in the most disgusting way . . . using the mark of the Covenant for his own pleasure and self-satisfaction. This is a most Holy marking, for those who have it, and we MUST begin to respect it.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
7,375
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#32
Yep. And this is why I don't intend on ever being with another woman ever again. Are we really allowed to just run around, experience failed relationship's . . . one after another . . . so that we can get our thrills on?

I will add this: When a person Truly understands Fear of the Lord, the sexual experience seems absolutely stupid. The idea of intercourse seems childish.
I'm married to only one woman, so I don't feel like that about the topic.
 

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
4,209
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#33
I'm married to only one woman, so I don't feel like that about the topic.
And you have the proper view because you have been obedient. The sexual act is beautiful, but abusing that act by sleeping with multiple women, or even self-pleasuring, shows a complete lack of reverence for the lord and the single most important doctrine in the Bible . . . Spiritual Circumcision of the Heart.

I wish that I could give you five "Winner" ribbons.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
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#34
It's clear that divorce is not allowed unless it's because of unfaithfulness in marriage. So should we go ahead and get into marriage with other divorced person?
I don't know indepth of this topic from the Bible that's why I asked here.
Thanks for your contribution and study. Iron sharpens iron indeed.
If the person we are marrying has had a legitimate divorce supported by the Bible.. That being a divorce based on one side committing adultery.. Then yes marrying that divorce is acceptable..
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#35
I dont recall any instance of remarrying in the bible after divorce except for the woman who had five husbands....we arent told if they had died but at the time she met Jesus the guy she was with was not her husband.
So Jesus wasnt judging her. But interesting that she married five times rather than say 'cheated' or commited adultery five times. Cos each time she did marry the guy (not the same one I presume) . So I suppose it was permitted back on those times.

Jacob married twice...he had two wives at the SAME time
David had several wives - and Im sure Michal didnt die before he married Abigail, though Nabal did.
And of course Solomon had several at once he wasnt marrying then divorcing then marrying again.
Ruth was widowed and and married again.

sorry cant help much there Im guessing it depends who was the unfaithful one. If the other party had left and they divorced then they are free to remarry as there would be no chance of reconciliation. But if the unfaithful one married first then the first wife or cuckolded huband isnt really going to be happy to be 'replaced' are they unless they agreed to end it completely via divorce.

If Joseph hadnt married Mary, and divorced her like he was going to when she got pregnant, it might be that Mary would have found someone else. Of course Joseph assumed Mary had been unfaithful, as wasnt his child. But we dont know as the angel told him to go ahead and marry Mary.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
15,760
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#36
The woman who had five husbands didnt end up marrying her sixth well its not said in the Bible so maybe by that time she met Jesus she'd learned to be friends instead of marrying all the time.
 

Naamini

New member
Jan 26, 2021
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#37
Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. (1 Corinthians 7:1-2|NKJV
 

Naamini

New member
Jan 26, 2021
26
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#38
Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. (1 Corinthians 7:1-2|NKJV
Mark and Luke's gospels do not allow for divorce and remarriage. In Matthew 19, there is a phrase 'except it be for fornication.' If a man divorces his wife, except it be for fornication, and marries another, he commits adultery. And he that marries her that is divorced commits adultery.

I know of no New Testament passage that allows for a man to marry a divorced woman if her husband cheated. It does not say that in Matthew 19. Some people assume it goes both ways, that what is good for the gander is good for the goose, but the Old Testament regulated polygyny but polyandry is adultery.

There are a lot of single people who have never been married. When i was single, divorced women were not in my consideration set. I would not want to put myself in a situation where I would have doubts about the validity of my marriage or for there even to be the slightest possibility that to be right with God I might have to break up my family. I wanted to marry a virgin. (Though I would not have considered it wrong to marry a widow, but I was young and wanted someone in the same situation as myself.) I wanted her father to give her to me in marriage. I prayed for that and God answered my prayers.

There are kind, faithful people who get married to a spouse who betrays them. But some people get divorced because they can't get along with their spouse. Then, if they are church people, they might wait out the other spouse to sleep around or marry to feel justified in remarrying.


There are also those married people who say, "My marriage was over a long time ago' to the boyfriend or girlfriend on the side and eventually file for divorce and marry the new boyfriend or girlfriend.

I agree with you here on Mathew 19 same as Luke 16:18

Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery. (Luke 16:18|NKJV

Yes you have put it well enough, that is an option for some people to justify divorce as a means of polygamy in quotes.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
7,375
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#39
There is also disagreement about the 'exception clause' in Matthew 19. The 'traditional view' is that no divorce and remarriage is allowed at all. I was reading an article a while back that argued that 'except it be for fornication' meant 'setting aside the topic of fornication'-- as in he was not addressing that topic in this particular discussion. I'm not sure about that, but I do not think people are compelled to divorce if there is fornication.

Paul also had some instructions for the special case of the believer married to an unbeliever. He states this as his opinion, not something about which he had a commandment of the Lord. He wrote not to leave the unbelieving spouse that if the unbeliever depart, let him depart, that a brother or sister is not under bondage, but God has called us to peace.

This passage gets 'stretched' to fit the desire to divorce.
--- 'Not under bondage' gets interpreted to mean 'free to remarry.' That is a bit of an assumption.
--- The term 'unbeliever' gets applied to the other spouse in the marriage. "If he/she treated me like that, he/she is not a believer".
---The term 'depart' gets stretched to include other offenses. "She departed from me long ago in her heart.'

Pre-sexual revolution, churches, even many of the denominations that are now afflicted by liberalism and overtly gay clergy now, tended to have much more conservative views about divorce and remarriage. Since the sexual revolution, churches and denominations have gotten really soft of divorce. Some evangelical pastors have ideas about it that mirror the world. The standard of morality reflects the world and reflects the low standards of other churches. It is rare to hear direct preaching or teaching on this topic.
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
18,287
5,336
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#40
Yep. And this is why I don't intend on ever being with another woman ever again. Are we really allowed to just run around, experience failed relationship's . . . one after another . . . so that we can get our thrills on?

I will add this: When a person Truly understands Fear of the Lord, the sexual experience seems absolutely stupid. The idea of intercourse seems childish. Furthermore, should a circumcised man really feel comfortable doing "that" with the very mark of the Lord's covenant inscribed on his member? No . . . the thought of it should become repulsive. Any circumcised man, who Truly understands that his "member" reflects the Circumcision of Christ, he should view that sexual act as something other than what it is.
Whoa, whoa, brother!! Back the horse up! Let's be careful of false teaching here. Sex was created by God for marriage and it is sacred. It was his intent when he created Adam and Eve. The two become one flesh. If you are speaking of sex outside of marriage, ok. But within a Christian marriage no. The family is the foundation that God set for us, that is why satan has attacked it so often.





Imagine how the Lord feels when He sees a human who runs around and says, "Yes! I'm a Christian!" Yet that man is sleeping with multiple women per week. That man is taking the very Covenant of God and abusing it in the most disgusting way . . . using the mark of the Covenant for his own pleasure and self-satisfaction. This is a most Holy marking, for those who have it, and we MUST begin to respect it.

Ahh then you are speaking outside of marriage. I understand. I don't know how a person can ever be satisfied going from person to person. There must be something in that person's life, or past, that needs to be healed.