King/Queen of the Castle

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Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
2,983
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#1
I’m curious what percentage of the space you inhabit is determined His vs Hers. There is a growing trend with “man caves”. It seems men are increasingly willing to hand over most of the usable space in the residence for whatever the women decide while men receive a small portion if any for his enjoyment. From what I have observed it is generally the garage where he keeps his necessary tools crowded by years of clutter from whimsical hobbies and frivolous purchases that she fully intends to revisit eventually.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
12,294
4,421
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#2
interesting
well when I lived with my brother he was so controlling I wanst even allowed to put my stuff on the coffee table which I had bought!

with mum and dad, I have my own room at least, but when I was growing up some of my dads stuff was in my room till it got moved to the lounge, because he had a huge record collection.

I cant fit my car in the one car garage because of mum and dads junk in there, so its left to rust outside.

so the space I have is the garden outside. There is no 'girls' space except my bedroom.

I think men should at least give women a ROOM of their own because they usually have so much STUFF and plus they also usually have their entire workspace at work which is their domain as well, while wives especially those who stay at home have nowhere else to go...and are the ones usually cleaning it all.

not just the kitchen, toilet and bathroom, which is shared amongst family members. if you have more than one toilet you are probably living in luxury and shouldnt complain.
 

Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
2,983
968
113
#3
interesting
well when I lived with my brother he was so controlling I wanst even allowed to put my stuff on the coffee table which I had bought!

with mum and dad, I have my own room at least, but when I was growing up some of my dads stuff was in my room till it got moved to the lounge, because he had a huge record collection.

I cant fit my car in the one car garage because of mum and dads junk in there, so its left to rust outside.

so the space I have is the garden outside. There is no 'girls' space except my bedroom.

I think men should at least give women a ROOM of their own because they usually have so much STUFF and plus they also usually have their entire workspace at work which is their domain as well, while wives especially those who stay at home have nowhere else to go...and are the ones usually cleaning it all.

not just the kitchen, toilet and bathroom, which is shared amongst family members. if you have more than one toilet you are probably living in luxury and shouldnt complain.
Wow, such a culture difference. I don’t know what is more surprising a record collection or two toilets being luxurious. We had one bathroom for six people up until a couple years ago. People here were shocked because they all had two or three bathrooms.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
12,294
4,421
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#4
well dads record collection is pretty unusual but mum tolerates it. She gets to live in a house rather than a 30 storey apartment building with hundreds of other people I suppose.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
12,294
4,421
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#5
homes being built these days generally have ensuites for the master bedroom.
older homes geneerally only had one toilet and bathroom, and before that, everyone used to go outside to wash. There was no such thing as indoor plumbing. People shared or the whole street shared.

It may depend on how big your home is, there was a craze in building HUGE homes for few people, and now the trend is TINY homes where everything is in one room. I guess its how much you can afford because cost of building new homes is so high, and land is scarce.

we dont live in the middle ages for sure where there actually were real castles.
 

Seeker47

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2018
420
385
63
#6
I’m curious what percentage of the space you inhabit is determined His vs Hers. There is a growing trend with “man caves”. It seems men are increasingly willing to hand over most of the usable space in the residence for whatever the women decide while men receive a small portion if any for his enjoyment. From what I have observed it is generally the garage where he keeps his necessary tools crowded by years of clutter from whimsical hobbies and frivolous purchases that she fully intends to revisit eventually.
Now, some serious discussion for a change! If you consider closet allocation, garage proportions, and at least half of my "Man-Cave" cluttered with her furniture and cloths, our house would be 5% He and 95% Her.

(Great Post)!
 

tstumf

Active member
May 28, 2021
177
100
43
#7
Huh… well this is interesting. I guess I don’t have a “man cave” man space or hobby area like some American men have evidently. I will say that my wife seems to have a good amount of space that is “hers”. she has an (office room) (hobby/ crafting closet).the garage is shared space but a good amount of it is being utilized by her woodworking projects and general storage though the equipment was intended to be mine. I still don’t get that part of my marriage! Lol. My stuff gets kinda spread around the home really wherever it fits.
So I guess maybe the question we need to ask is. Should we as Christians have our own spaces in our homes dedicated to us as individuals and our stuff to retreat to or would having these spaces be considered selfish and idolatry to our hobbies and interests? I don’t have one of these man cave spaces so I’m curious really.
 

Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
2,983
968
113
#8
Huh… well this is interesting. I guess I don’t have a “man cave” man space or hobby area like some American men have evidently. I will say that my wife seems to have a good amount of space that is “hers”. she has an (office room) (hobby/ crafting closet).the garage is shared space but a good amount of it is being utilized by her woodworking projects and general storage though the equipment was intended to be mine. I still don’t get that part of my marriage! Lol. My stuff gets kinda spread around the home really wherever it fits.
So I guess maybe the question we need to ask is. Should we as Christians have our own spaces in our homes dedicated to us as individuals and our stuff to retreat to or would having these spaces be considered selfish and idolatry to our hobbies and interests? I don’t have one of these man cave spaces so I’m curious really.
As soon as I build shelves or storage space to hide/organize the clutter she quickly fills the reclaimed living space with new purchases. I worked hard to fit a pool table into a spot in our basement so me and my sons and their friends had a cool hangout. That lasted a few months until her new hobby. Now it’s just another storage area again. I surrender. It makes a nice folding table.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
12,294
4,421
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#9
I notice my mum is very territorial. I dont know if all mums are like this. Since you were literally in her womb, well she feels that all offspring are in HER space. I guess homes are like wombs or nests.

in the Bible it was said that Adam was the one to leave and marry and therefore all men left their mother and father to take a wife. It wasnt Eve leaving Adam. I dont know if this is significant but thought I woukd mention it. The Bible doesnt say men specifically need their own cave (or even that men lived in caves, only when their own dwellings were literally falling down!)

we had a table tennis table but hardly used it in the garage because, mum filled it with all her things. Theres a spare shower but that again is filled with her things so it never gets used as a shower. The spare room is filled with mum and dads things. I think I just got used to living amongst stuff.


now am a librarian go figure. I try to make order out of chaos.
I do notice some people have a lounge with absolutely nothing in it but a tv and sofa. I am like what a complete waste of space, put a few bookshelves in it, start collecting books and it could be a great library.
 
Jul 27, 2018
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The Garden of Weeden
#10
We had common areas: living room, family room dining room, bathrooms and kitchen, that we decorated together with both of our "stuff". The kids rooms we let them decorate, within reason. Our bedroom, mainly I decorated, because he didn't really care, and the garage he decorated mainly because I didn't care. Then I had my office, where I kept my computer desk, bookcases, craft supplies etc. and we had a 2 story shed, that he built, for yard storage down stairs and family storage upstairs. So I dunno, we sorta shared it all?
 

Seeker47

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2018
420
385
63
#11
We had common areas: living room, family room dining room, bathrooms and kitchen, that we decorated together with both of our "stuff". The kids rooms we let them decorate, within reason. Our bedroom, mainly I decorated, because he didn't really care, and the garage he decorated mainly because I didn't care. Then I had my office, where I kept my computer desk, bookcases, craft supplies etc. and we had a 2 story shed, that he built, for yard storage down stairs and family storage upstairs. So I dunno, we sorta shared it all?
And two shall become one.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
12,294
4,421
113
#12
Does anybody decorate the smallest room of the house...?
I wonder if 'decoration' means now you own it. lol

I think when only men used to drive and own cars the garage would be theirs sole domain but thats not the case these days. And also lots of men now cook they could take over the kitchen.

Jesus did have a room all of his own but that was just the closet he prayed in. I dont think it was designated mens or womens but just for one person to pray in. Maybe thats all you need in any home.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
6,726
1,025
113
#13
I’m curious what percentage of the space you inhabit is determined His vs Hers. There is a growing trend with “man caves”. It seems men are increasingly willing to hand over most of the usable space in the residence for whatever the women decide while men receive a small portion if any for his enjoyment. From what I have observed it is generally the garage where he keeps his necessary tools crowded by years of clutter from whimsical hobbies and frivolous purchases that she fully intends to revisit eventually.
I took a small tiny office in the home. I gave a large room, which needs a door as my wife's studio and office space, but with the understanding that I use it if I need to record. Men are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Be that as it may, I did not know the A/C did not work that well in my tiny office. I'm using a fan with a glass of ice in front of it.

I don't care that much about home decorations. As long as it is not all pink with butterflies and glitter, I'm usually okay. My wife enjoys decorating, so I let her do it.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
35,941
13,253
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Tennessee
#14
homes being built these days generally have ensuites for the master bedroom.
older homes geneerally only had one toilet and bathroom, and before that, everyone used to go outside to wash. There was no such thing as indoor plumbing. People shared or the whole street shared.

It may depend on how big your home is, there was a craze in building HUGE homes for few people, and now the trend is TINY homes where everything is in one room. I guess its how much you can afford because cost of building new homes is so high, and land is scarce.

we dont live in the middle ages for sure where there actually were real castles.
I have seen Cinderella's castle in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
12,294
4,421
113
#15
I have seen Cinderella's castle in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World.
I havent what is it like? Would you say most of the space is hers or the Prince. Maybe the Prince has a separate garden shed or something. I am guessing she has lots of servants and maids to clean it if its a really big space, she wouldnt be cleaning it on her own. Maybe her stepsisters are employed there.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
35,941
13,253
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Tennessee
#16
I havent what is it like? Would you say most of the space is hers or the Prince. Maybe the Prince has a separate garden shed or something. I am guessing she has lots of servants and maids to clean it if its a really big space, she wouldnt be cleaning it on her own. Maybe her stepsisters are employed there.
Mainly it's a gift shop that sells expensive Disney memorabilia. At night, Tinkerbell comes floating down from the top window and then, behind the castle, the fireworks go off. Spectacular pyrotechnic display.
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
1,383
980
113
#17
I believe my dad uses more space in the house (indoors). He has his own room. My mom doesn't so she hangs out in my room. My dad also has a reading area in the living room. My mom has the yard and spends time there; my dad doesn't. My mom also spends time in the garage; she has a large cat stand there for the community cats and puts them there if there are thunderstorms, etc.
 

Genipher

Well-known member
Jan 6, 2019
1,010
829
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#18
Asked my husband because I thought it was pretty equal. He said it's a 70/30 split. I guess with all my sewing and canning and books, he's right. 😆
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
12,294
4,421
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#19
when couples divorce or split they both get their own space right. I wonder how evenly divided that is. Or whether one gets the house and one moves back home with their parents, or one rents an apartment or they both chuck it in and become caravan gypsies (in separate caravans)


Isnt the whole thing with apartments is that they are APART otherwise they would be called 'togetherments'. In the Bible I noticed that if a married women complains the man would need a really large house to be out of earshot or live on the corner of the roof.

and this proverb is actually repeated in the book of Proverbs so it must have happened a lot. Proverbs 21:9 and 25:24
 

Genipher

Well-known member
Jan 6, 2019
1,010
829
113
#20
when couples divorce or split they both get their own space right. I wonder how evenly divided that is. Or whether one gets the house and one moves back home with their parents, or one rents an apartment or they both chuck it in and become caravan gypsies (in separate caravans)


Isnt the whole thing with apartments is that they are APART otherwise they would be called 'togetherments'. In the Bible I noticed that if a married women complains the man would need a really large house to be out of earshot or live on the corner of the roof.

and this proverb is actually repeated in the book of Proverbs so it must have happened a lot. Proverbs 21:9 and 25:24
Probably why men have "man caves"...to escape nagging, annoying wives. ;):LOL: