Marriage...expensive or just the wedding?

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Lanolin

Lanolin

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Lisamn said:
Agree to check the account once a week...get a gift card to pay with or agree to have your own spending money from the main account and use that to buy gifts with.
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meh its a hassles sometimes with gift cards as they expire and its not always you want to tell aperson to buy their own gift when they cant actually get to the store, or its the last item available... I know cos I sell a lot of gift cards. can be good for other instances though.

I think an issue with this one couple is he spends so much and she has little to spend. Its kinda weird I dont know if thats just them though. she also hates receiving huge expensive gifts. Yet he then says its too expensive to get married, so its a puzzle. But im like just be thankful for any gifts, no matter how big or small.
 
Lisamn

Lisamn

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Lanolin said:
meh its a hassles sometimes with gift cards as they expire and its not always you want to tell aperson to buy their own gift when they cant actually get to the store, or its the last item available... I know cos I sell a lot of gift cards. can be good for other instances though.

I think an issue with this one couple is he spends so much and she has little to spend. Its kinda weird I dont know if thats just them though. she also hates receiving huge expensive gifts. Yet he then says its too expensive to get married, so its a puzzle. But im like just be thankful for any gifts, no matter how big or small.
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We all approve what we like and find excuses for what we don’t.

Ya..it could be a hassle to find a different way to surprise someone.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#303
Lisamn said:
I can see that happening actually...however, I don’t think that’s a reason to have a separate account. I think separate accounts are a lack of trust in the other person and a way to stay in control of ’your’ money...goes both ways, instead of learning to compromise and use the money together. I also think that bringing the matter to God in prayer is the best thing a couple could do.
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interesting view
but then its like lying to your spouse the other alternative, its better to actually trust one another with independence.
another thing thats weird is people think they have to compromise in marriage when God never compromises in marriage or anything. He accomodates, but He doesnt compromise.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#304
Lisamn said:
We all approve what we like and find excuses for what we don’t.

Ya..it could be a hassle to find a different way to surprise someone.
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you must be a hard one to be married to lol. Im always surprising people.
some people dont like surprises, and dont handle them very well cos they are way too controlling.
 
Lisamn

Lisamn

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Lanolin said:
interesting view
but then its like lying to your spouse the other alternative, its better to actually trust one another with independence.
another thing thats weird is people think they have to compromise in marriage when God never compromises in marriage or anything. He accomodates, but He doesnt compromise.
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What’s lying to your spouse...having money you both agree on to spend as you see fit?

God accommodates? What does He accomodate?

Compromise sure beats arguing about it.
 
Lisamn

Lisamn

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#306
Lanolin said:
you must be a hard one to be married to lol. Im always surprising people.
some people dont like surprises, and dont handle them very well cos they are way too controlling.
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idk if I am or not..why do you say I would be?

I like surprises...good surprises anyway. Haha
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#307
Ive had gift card abuse where some customers are trying to put thousands of dollars on one gift card. its a form of money laundering and we have to watch out for that.
 
Lisamn

Lisamn

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Lanolin said:
Ive had gift card abuse where some customers are trying to put thousands of dollars on one gift card. its a form of money laundering and we have to watch out for that.
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That’s like $5000 though. I’m talking like $100 on a gift card...if you want to send flowers to your wife at work and surprise her.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#309
Dec 15, 2018
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#309
Lisamn said:
What’s lying to your spouse...having money you both agree on to spend as you see fit?

God accommodates? What does He accomodate?

Compromise sure beats arguing about it.
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nah lying about what you would use the money for because you want to surprise your spouse.

God accomodates people gives us talents to use and doesnt want us burying them in the ground. Hes not stingy with gifts either.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#310
Lisamn said:
That’s like $5000 though. I’m talking like $100 on a gift card...if you want to send flowers to your wife at work and surprise her.
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why not just send the flowers instead of having your wife have to buy her own with a gift card? makes no sense.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#311
dear wife...here a hundred dollars, go buy yourself some flowers.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#312
wife..what?! I dont want to have to go out shopping again lol.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#314
plus...shes at work. You cant go shopping at work.
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

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#316
Lisamn said:
I can see that happening actually...however, I don’t think that’s a reason to have a separate account. I think separate accounts are a lack of trust in the other person and a way to stay in control of ’your’ money...goes both ways, instead of learning to compromise and use the money together. I also think that bringing the matter to God in prayer is the best thing a couple could do.
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Actually...
My separate accounts are for various purposes.
One is solely for my spending on her. The other is for other reasons.
My wife has more accounts as she usually does the bill paying and savings allocation tasks.

But the multiple accounts are for financial security. Debit cards get hacked a lot... even your local grocery store chain can have a breach.

And if someone drains our spending account and it takes a month to get the money back...we aren't trying to survive without gas, food, electricity, rent money or run up the credit cards buying those things until we get the funds returned.

Every retailer talks about secure transactions but it really isn't true. A minimum wage flunkey can be there for the fraud and be in another country by the time the police actually begin looking for him.

Just saying that it might be something to look into.
 
Lisamn

Lisamn

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#317
JohnDB said:
Actually...
My separate accounts are for various purposes.
One is solely for my spending on her. The other is for other reasons.
My wife has more accounts as she usually does the bill paying and savings allocation tasks.

But the multiple accounts are for financial security. Debit cards get hacked a lot... even your local grocery store chain can have a breach.

And if someone drains our spending account and it takes a month to get the money back...we aren't trying to survive without gas, food, electricity, rent money or run up the credit cards buying those things until we get the funds returned.

Every retailer talks about secure transactions but it really isn't true. A minimum wage flunkey can be there for the fraud and be in another country by the time the police actually begin looking for him.

Just saying that it might be something to look into.
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Sounds like a lot of work to me we just have the one account. If the worst should happen...I’ll be in prayer about it anyway...
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

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Lisamn said:
Sounds like a lot of work to me we just have the one account. If the worst should happen...I’ll be in prayer about it anyway...
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It does to me too...but that's why she does that task in our house. She excells at administration.
I'm hands on tasks. She prepares the lists and administrates. I set the leadership and goals. She is instrumental in how we get there.

Watching the orchestration of us together on tasks is not exciting...but the end results are far far superior.

You ought to see the Christmas cookies and candies and gingerbread house parties we give everyone every year. 8 different cookies, 15 different truffles, hundreds of ingredients (and dollars) and packaging....
I'm just the monkey who cooks well...but she makes it happen and look professional/commercial.
 
Lisamn

Lisamn

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JohnDB said:
It does to me too...but that's why she does that task in our house. She excells at administration.
I'm hands on tasks. She prepares the lists and administrates. I set the leadership and goals. She is instrumental in how we get there.

Watching the orchestration of us together on tasks is not exciting...but the end results are far far superior.

You ought to see the Christmas cookies and candies and gingerbread house parties we give everyone every year. 8 different cookies, 15 different truffles, hundreds of ingredients (and dollars) and packaging....
I'm just the monkey who cooks well...but she makes it happen and look professional/commercial.
Click to expand...
Sounds like you have the couple thing down...you seem to understand your strengths and encourage them.
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

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That's us...heh heh heh....had to try the function... hadn't had it before on a forum.
 
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