Marriage...expensive or just the wedding?

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Kyleses

New member
Jan 23, 2023
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I often come across couples who arent married but just live together, and they might be together for many years, even have children and buy a house together. But they just arent married. And when I ask why, the most common reason given is its too expensive to get married.

Is it really?

And sometimes its even christian believers who say this.

So how are we to think of marriage is it only for the rich? Only if the hsuband is willing to provide for his household, what does this say about people who dont marry yet live like they are married. They are too poor? Can weddings be cheaper or why not just register at an office. Or does it all need to be done in church. Why is it so expensive? People say they'd rather spend the money on a house. But what does that say about priorities? Have a wedding, be married and be homeless, or not marry and have a roof over your head. Can one have both?

Getting married doesn't have to be expensive. Wife and I had a cheap one. Some people don't want to commit like that for different reasons. I have a coworker who is with someone and they live together not married. They haven't because of something that has to do with him being white and her being Indian. And family
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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Getting married doesn't have to be expensive. Wife and I had a cheap one. Some people don't want to commit like that for different reasons. I have a coworker who is with someone and they live together not married. They haven't because of something that has to do with him being white and her being Indian. And family
I was wondering if it's so hard to marry another culture why not marry your twin or someone in your own family. Who has the luxury of someone having the exact same culture as you these days anyway. If it's not one thing it's another.

In the Bible nobody was allowed to marry a stranger and they had a divorce from anyone that was different. What happened was everyone ended up marrying their cousins and the Hebrews became massively inbred as a result. I just wonder about the number of fake conversions that happen when people get married, if they want to marry with a religious ceremony.

Supposedly love and faithfulness make you an automatic adherent? But I know believers who got married in church and their spouses just pretended to convert.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,427
821
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Getting married doesn't have to be expensive. Wife and I had a cheap one. Some people don't want to commit like that for different reasons. I have a coworker who is with someone and they live together not married. They haven't because of something that has to do with him being white and her being Indian. And family
Its a traditional custom, usually in the middle east like India, it's a traditional custom not to marry outside of ones own faith and culture.
 

Shepherd

Active member
May 11, 2022
247
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Two major reasons are:
#1 the tax code favors non-married couples.... https://www.thetaxadviser.com/issue...ing features of the,a "marriage tax penalty."

#2 Society and the legal system is one-sided, favoring the woman, in the event of divorce. It's just not worth the risk for too many men. If she gets mad at you, you're first rejected in the bedroom and then it ends in divorce. The man loses the kids, the house and other assets, plus child support. A friend of mine married a "Christian" woman who already had a daughter. He and the wife had no kids of their own during the marriage(shocker). but he ended up paying alimony.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,427
821
113
Two major reasons are:
#1 the tax code favors non-married couples.... https://www.thetaxadviser.com/issues/2019/jun/marriage-tax-penalty-post-tcja.html#:~:text=Long-standing features of the,a "marriage tax penalty."

#2 Society and the legal system is one-sided, favoring the woman, in the event of divorce. It's just not worth the risk for too many men. If she gets mad at you, you're first rejected in the bedroom and then it ends in divorce. The man loses the kids, the house and other assets, plus child support. A friend of mine married a "Christian" woman who already had a daughter. He and the wife had no kids of their own during the marriage(shocker). but he ended up paying alimony.
true, I remember what a mess my parents divorce was.
 

Anywarema

New member
Sep 20, 2023
1
0
1
Marriage can indeed get expensive, especially when you think about all the traditional wedding costs. But it doesn't have to be that way. You can definitely have a more budget-friendly wedding or even opt for a simple courthouse ceremony. It's all about your priorities and what matters most to you as a couple.
Speaking of weddings, I'm gearing up for mine, and I've been checking out Jaume Labro unique wedding bands. They're not your typical designs, and I kinda like that. What do you think about that twist on wedding jewelry? Anyway, marriage is about love and commitment, not just the price tag, so do what feels right for you and your partner.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,427
821
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Most people don't see it that way, most people think its just for show to show off for friends and family. The devil has to ruin every thing God creates.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,176
2,478
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The marriage penalty is very expensive for pensioners on SS.

Many senior citizens get a mock wedding....where they might have a ceremony but are not legally married.

Because often a widow will lose her SS benefits if she gets married and the Widower will not have enough income to support them both.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,427
821
113
The marriage penalty is very expensive for pensioners on SS.

Many senior citizens get a mock wedding....where they might have a ceremony but are not legally married.

Because often a widow will lose her SS benefits if she gets married and the Widower will not have enough income to support them both.
that is a shame to hear.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,176
2,478
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that is a shame to hear.
There is a stiff financial penalty for marriage here in the USA. Mostly in the form of taxes but it can also mean a huge loss of benefits. So single parent families are the largest demographic...and live birth rates have sunk below deaths....so our native population is shrinking.

And currently the two parties are fighting and playing oppositional politics to the point that literally nothing is getting done. We don't even have a regular government budget in place....just a stop gap spending bill to keep everything operational.

All they currently want to do is argue and try to "win" their point of view. Others are so busy insider trading (Nancy Pelosi and others) that they do nothing.

The whole part about being statesman and working out a solid compromise has turned into not much better behavior than one might see on a tik toc's influencer page.

Currently our SSI&SSDI benefits are as bad a joke as our southern border...where transgender teens and illegal immigrants get a SS check but grumpy old men in their 50's (who worked their whole lives) get the shaft.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,427
821
113
There is a stiff financial penalty for marriage here in the USA. Mostly in the form of taxes but it can also mean a huge loss of benefits. So single parent families are the largest demographic...and live birth rates have sunk below deaths....so our native population is shrinking.

And currently the two parties are fighting and playing oppositional politics to the point that literally nothing is getting done. We don't even have a regular government budget in place....just a stop gap spending bill to keep everything operational.

All they currently want to do is argue and try to "win" their point of view. Others are so busy insider trading (Nancy Pelosi and others) that they do nothing.

The whole part about being statesman and working out a solid compromise has turned into not much better behavior than one might see on a tik toc's influencer page.

Currently our SSI&SSDI benefits are as bad a joke as our southern border...where transgender teens and illegal immigrants get a SS check but grumpy old men in their 50's (who worked their whole lives) get the shaft.
If Christians did less praying and more working, things would turn around so fast it would be declared a global miracle, problem most Christians don't want to get involved or do anything.
 

Genipher

Well-known member
Jan 6, 2019
2,269
1,672
113
If Christians did less praying and more working, things would turn around so fast it would be declared a global miracle, problem most Christians don't want to get involved or do anything.
That's kinda a weird thing to say when we're told to pray without ceasing.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,427
821
113
That's kinda a weird thing to say when we're told to pray without ceasing.
Yes and we were also told faith with out works is dead faith and works with out faith is dead works. Their are a lot of complaints about the way things are but if people stopped complaining and started coming up with solutions and implimenting them, it might be a better world for everyone.
 
N

Niki7

Guest
Yes and we were also told faith with out works is dead faith and works with out faith is dead works. Their are a lot of complaints about the way things are but if people stopped complaining and started coming up with solutions and implimenting them, it might be a better world for everyone.
or they could pray instead of complain


If Christians did less praying and more working, things would turn around so fast it would be declared a global miracle, problem most Christians don't want to get involved or do anything.
how on earth do you seem to confuse faith/works with working for solutions? maybe I don't understand what you are saying but your post leaves me saying what?!?
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,427
821
113
or they could pray instead of complain




how on earth do you seem to confuse faith/works with working for solutions? maybe I don't understand what you are saying but your post leaves me saying what?!?
over the years I have seen a lot of Christians say they don't like how the world is going, they think the government is evil and corrupt, they always say pray for new leadership and Gods guidance and wisdom, but they never actually consider that maybe they should be doing the job themselves.
 

Genipher

Well-known member
Jan 6, 2019
2,269
1,672
113
Yes and we were also told faith with out works is dead faith and works with out faith is dead works. Their are a lot of complaints about the way things are but if people stopped complaining and started coming up with solutions and implimenting them, it might be a better world for everyone.
I agree that works go hand-in-hand with faith. But to say we should pray less is not Biblical.
 
N

Niki7

Guest
over the years I have seen a lot of Christians say they don't like how the world is going, they think the government is evil and corrupt, they always say pray for new leadership and Gods guidance and wisdom, but they never actually consider that maybe they should be doing the job themselves.
Maybe change who you hang with