Marriage help

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damombomb

Senior Member
Feb 27, 2011
3,799
59
48
#1
I’ve been married 15 yrs and it’s turned awful. I can’t talk to my husband anymore. He gets angry. He doesn’t want to help me do things but helps others. What do you do? He doesn’t listen to me. I don’t want a divorce but I feel shut out . Any advise welcome.
 

theanointedwinner

Well-known member
Nov 6, 2018
2,058
1,095
113
#2
Let God handle it

if marriage is your desire, and your desire honors God, will God not take good care of that?

oh ye of little faith, and all I did is I saw the word "marriage", may my marriage advice help you
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
27,746
6,079
113
64
Florida
#3
Tell him that you're going on strike as a wife until conditions improve. He can cook his own meals too. No ice cream either.
 

Silverwings

Senior Member
Jul 27, 2016
980
204
43
#4
Are you both Christians? Would he submit to counseling? Are you praying for him and asking for prayer? You must have some idea as to what has brought this on? Fasting would help.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
9,573
4,385
113
#5
Hi DMB...
The most important thing you can do is pray: ask God to intervene, to show you what you need to deal with/repent of, and what, if anything, to say to your husband. Jesus knows the whole situation and can direct your steps better than anyone.

For your own edification, find the series of videos with Patrick Doyle on TheDoveTV's YouTube channel. He's a Christian counselor with lots of relevant experience.

Do your best not to perpetuate the hostility. If you slip up, own it but don't grovel. A simple acknowledgement and brief apology are sufficient at this point.
 

Robertt

Active member
May 22, 2019
119
36
28
#6
prayer first.

Councelling from your local pastor.

More prayer.

but above all else and through it all LOVE
 

Godsgirl83

Well-known member
Apr 1, 2019
1,333
1,302
113
#7
Hello Mombomb.
I know it sounds so cliché, but prayer is the best place to start. Ask the Lord for guidance in this situation. He can give you the insight you need better than anyone else ever can.
Grow in your relationship with the Lord.
Respond in love even when you don't FEEL like it.
 

Homewardbound

Well-known member
Dec 10, 2018
849
500
63
#8
Prayer is definitely important fellow Believer.
But be specific. It sounds like something is bothering him down inside.
Sometimes men clam up when stuff bothers them. In fact it can start eating at them to a point of ulcers.
Maybe pray for God to show you what is up?
 
Feb 13, 2019
263
239
43
#9
I’ve been married 15 yrs and it’s turned awful. I can’t talk to my husband anymore. He gets angry. He doesn’t want to help me do things but helps others. What do you do? He doesn’t listen to me. I don’t want a divorce but I feel shut out . Any advise welcome.

Praying for you damombomb! This is not easy to deal with, but you have the best person on your side to help you, the Lord. Trust the Lord to get you and your husband through this. Lean on Him to help you in showing your husband love, even when it's hard to do. Pray that the Lord help your husband and reveal what his issues are.

My dad always helps others and at points it comes before doing things at home. This was very hard for mum, but what helped her was that she realized he was depressed. His way of dealing with his feelings was to avoid them by helping others. She was able to pray for him and encourage him differently when she realized he wasn't avoiding her, but just dealing with an inward struggle. Things aren't always what they seem.

Praying for strength and discernment.
 

DinoDillinger

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2009
837
17
18
#10
If he is open to couples counseling that might be a good idea. Hopefully your pastor and direct you to a good place. I guess my advice for the issue you mention is to avoid asking him for help right after work. Give him a heads up of what you do need help with in advance when possible and help him notice the things you do to help him. It could be that his issue is really a problem at work or some other personal issue and you just happen to catch the wrath because you are closest to him.
 
Sep 3, 2016
2,789
266
83
#11
I’ve been married 15 yrs and it’s turned awful. I can’t talk to my husband anymore. He gets angry. He doesn’t want to help me do things but helps others. What do you do? He doesn’t listen to me. I don’t want a divorce but I feel shut out . Any advise welcome.
Repent. Place and maintain your Faith exclusively in Christ and the Cross and receive immediate help (Grace) from the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:1-2, Gal. 2:20-21).
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
1,283
843
113
#12
"When there is a noticeable change of a loved one, there are different reasons. It is essential
to talk over a concern with each other. Until the root problem is solved or confronted, relationship
is likely to deteriorate, leaving misery for all concerned. And, without fail, there are two sides to
every 'story'. A marriage works, only when BOTH work at it. It is with hope, that your lives find
a compatible answer and a solution. I pray God has a part in this family issue."


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