Marriage issue

  • Thread starter Angelwilliams06302007
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Angelwilliams06302007

Guest
#1
#1
My husbands family came down for their family reunion this weekend and last night all his cousins went out. I really don't believe in hanging out in clubs so I told him he could go spend some time with his family. He called me around 3am and said he was on his way. After 5am I decided to call his cousins phone because I was worried and they said he was at the hotel with them talking. So then he came it at 6am this morning but didn't apologize and he said he feel as if he didn't do nothing wrong. Can someone tell me is something wrong with this issue or am I upset for nothing like he says.
 
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carpetmanswife

Guest
#2
#2
well i can only speak for myself...and i would be TICKED!! :mad:
i feel like its a matter of respect there, but thats just me.
 
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MayMaynHowie

Guest
#3
#3
I would be upset as well. But I would not let it put a wall between me and my husband. They (his family)will only be in town for a few days. I would tell him how I feel and just let it go. Anger only destroys the vessel that contains it.
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#4
May 5, 2009
2,565
19
38
#4
Angelwilliams06302007 said:
I told him he could go spend some time with his family.
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Do you tell him what he can and can't do?

Was there a reason you would've preferred that he'd been at home? What would he have been doing instead during those hours? Sleeping?

I don't see why you're upset about him spending time with his family. If you're upset about him going to clubs, that I can understand...but if you're upset about him spending all night with his family, I don't see a problem here.
 
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SamIam

Guest
#5
#5
I wouldnt be mad, but i would more be irritated cause he said he was gonna be home at one time then showed up like what.. three hours later. Yeah But i wouldnt be mad, just kinda like.... If you tell me your gonna be home at one time.. be home, if not at least call me and tell me your gonna be later.. then its all good ya know. When your married i think you both owe it to each other to do things like that... You gotta communicate, let each other know whats goin on.
 
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sweet_eyes

Guest
#6
#6
SamIam said:
I wouldnt be mad, but i would more be irritated cause he said he was gonna be home at one time then showed up like what.. three hours later. Yeah But i wouldnt be mad, just kinda like.... If you tell me your gonna be home at one time.. be home, if not at least call me and tell me your gonna be later.. then its all good ya know. When your married i think you both owe it to each other to do things like that... You gotta communicate, let each other know whats goin on.
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agreed........
 
K

KeepTheFaith

Guest
#7
#7
I do not know how your marriage is, but if it looks like trouble , feels like trouble, and acts like trouble, it usually means trouble. As a husband he should at least let you know he is ok , and safe. A little respect goes a long way in a marriage
 
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Angelwilliams06302007

Guest
#8
#8
Sharp said:
Do you tell him what he can and can't do?

Was there a reason you would've preferred that he'd been at home? What would he have been doing instead during those hours? Sleeping?

I don't see why you're upset about him spending time with his family. If you're upset about him going to clubs, that I can understand...but if you're upset about him spending all night with his family, I don't see a problem here.
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I don't mind him spending time with the family but come on lets be for real we have two small children and that isn't a time you walk in the house. Family or not me and the kids are his family as well thats the purpose of him going out with them that night to spend time but to tell me you're on your way home and not given me call back to tell me you're going to be late worries me especially at that time. Thanks and I understand where you are coming from as well but no I do not tell him what to do but I do believe you suppose to compromise in a marriage
 
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ariannaaa

Guest
#9
#9
Angelwilliams06302007 said:
My husbands family came down for their family reunion this weekend and last night all his cousins went out. I really don't believe in hanging out in clubs so I told him he could go spend some time with his family. He called me around 3am and said he was on his way. After 5am I decided to call his cousins phone because I was worried and they said he was at the hotel with them talking. So then he came it at 6am this morning but didn't apologize and he said he feel as if he didn't do nothing wrong. Can someone tell me is something wrong with this issue or am I upset for nothing like he says.
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Hi Angel. I'm really sorry that you've been upset by this! I understand your frustration and I, too, wouldn't like it if a husband did that to me.

I think you have a right to feel what you're feeling, but I think how you approach it will be crucial! I think coming to your husband first and foremost letting him know that you trust him and respect him- is important. Then I think its perfectly ok to express your concern from a point of humility.. emphasizing that you're not angry or distrusting just that his whereabouts is an issue you would like to have more clearly communicated in the future and hopefully you can work on communication also.. as he clearly didn't realize how important it was to you that he be home at the time he said he would be.

If he doesn't respond well to this I would just suggest praying about it- that God put you two on the same page, and continue to treat him with love and with a servant's heart. But I hope that everything goes well and he recieves what you say! I will be praying for you and him!
 
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andrew4

Guest
#10
#10
I think for now, as it seems this is not a recurring issue as far as I know, that it would be for the best to trust him. I totally understand where your coming from, and I would worry too if I had a spouse that was out of the house like that, without saying what happened. But on the bright side, he was with family which I assume he had not seen in a while as it was a reunion.
 
Z-e-N

Z-e-N

Member
#11
May 24, 2005
34
0
6
#11
ariannaaa said:
Hi Angel. I'm really sorry that you've been upset by this! I understand your frustration and I, too, wouldn't like it if a husband did that to me.

I think you have a right to feel what you're feeling, but I think how you approach it will be crucial! I think coming to your husband first and foremost letting him know that you trust him and respect him- is important. Then I think its perfectly ok to express your concern from a point of humility.. emphasizing that you're not angry or distrusting just that his whereabouts is an issue you would like to have more clearly communicated in the future and hopefully you can work on communication also.. as he clearly didn't realize how important it was to you that he be home at the time he said he would be.

If he doesn't respond well to this I would just suggest praying about it- that God put you two on the same page, and continue to treat him with love and with a servant's heart. But I hope that everything goes well and he recieves what you say! I will be praying for you and him!
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Very well said. All women should take your advice.
 
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aprodigal1

Guest
#12
#12
I can understand you being angry. FYI anger is the way we express our hurt and pain a lot of the times. I think you need to ask yourself, "is what he did sin, or just inconsiderate?" One way of determining if he sinned against you is by asking yourself "does God view what he did as sin?"
If you believe he sinned against you then Matthew 18 applies and you should probably let him know how he has hurt you rather then how he has made you angry. I am confident he already knows your angry over this situation, but it may surprise him to hear you are hurt and how he sinned against you. This may give him the opprotunity to repent and ask for forgiveness if it was sin. This also maybe an opprotunity for you to discover that it was not sin based on his response. In any case it is a good opprotunity to make sure you glorify God in your communication with your husband.
 
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