marriage partner for your adult children

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kim12345

Senior Member
Aug 4, 2013
361
44
28
#1
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
 
Jul 27, 2018
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The Garden of Weeden
#2
I have 3 grown daughters, and I don't worry about it. Things like this change like the seasons, so eh...they will settle down when they are ready. They don't seem worried, so why should I?
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
1,211
1,012
113
#3
I don't have children but if I did I wouldn't worry. Marriage is not a promise. Getting what we want is not a promise.
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
13,637
1,606
113
#4
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
I didn't date till my late 30s was in my 40s when I got married. Don't worry. Better to wait then rush it and be worried they're married and miserable.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,508
1,436
113
Germany
#5
Time tells. Dont worry about it, unless they wanna talk about it, let em handle it
 
Sep 3, 2016
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#6
Ask the Lord to arrange this marriage, and all marriages which He arranges are as they should be, i.e., the Will of the Lord for your son(s) and daughter(s) (Gen. 24:65). Therefore, He shall increase their greatness, and comfort them on every side (Psalm 71:21). The LORD has said, "I will perfect that which concerns me (Psalm 138:8).

The word of God for the people of God thanks be to God. Amen.
 

Miri

The Thingy Member
Jul 22, 2012
9,050
2,004
113
UK age 51
#7
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Trouble with this, is if you are worrying about them remaining single.
They will no doubt be aware if this and it will put more pressure on them
to find someone and marry them, just to please you.

That’s the last thing you want isn’t it, especially if they feel forced into marrying
someone unsuitable just to please you.

I don’t know if this is the case or not but it’s their lives to life, not yours.

Best to ease off the pressure and stop worrying about it.
Oh and marriage isn’t necessarily for everyone.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
8,632
2,499
113
#8
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Yes, it should be cause for concern. Doing something about it is another matter.
 

kim12345

Senior Member
Aug 4, 2013
361
44
28
#9
Trouble with this, is if you are worrying about them remaining single.
They will no doubt be aware if this and it will put more pressure on them
to find someone and marry them, just to please you.

That’s the last thing you want isn’t it, especially if they feel forced into marrying
someone unsuitable just to please you.

I don’t know if this is the case or not but it’s their lives to life, not yours.

Best to ease off the pressure and stop worrying about it.
Oh and marriage isn’t necessarily for everyone.

That's a good point . I never, never mention it to them. I know they want a one and I dont say anything.
 

Locoponydirtman

Well-known member
Oct 9, 2018
993
595
93
Texas
#10
Not marrying is no harm no foul. I don't recommend that everyone get married. Some folks are better doing their own thing.
I would worry more about them settling for someone because they have to have someone.
I have a son with high standards, I hope he maintains them and never settles.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
2,939
1,132
113
#11
Yea when elders do that they dont realise it sends the message that they think less of them if they remain single. Marriage is not for everyone.

If one can afford to, sure the thing is raising a family these days is hard, not that its always been easy but Ive known two young couples that had to move overseas or to the the end of the country just to afford a roof over their head. That splits up the family in so many ways. Besides as parents dont you want children near you even when they grow up? The prodigal son came home. He didnt go off and marry and not go back to his father.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
1,165
969
113
#12
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
I have three kids and personally never had to worry about this particular problem...
At this point, I am more worried about their ability to choose the right partner to ensure a blessed marriage that lasts thru the commitment of their vows (to include their future spouses)...
I'm glad to hear that there is no pressure being imposed upon them... I also suspect that any suggestion to be more of 'a meddling parent' is not the advice nor the direction that you are seeking...
However, I do think that there are healthy and non-meddling opportunities that you might be able to consider to help create opportunities for them to meet others... Maybe consider inviting them to accompany you at church or family and friend social events... Just know, that you can lead a horse to water - but you can not make it drink... Leave it in the Lords hands...

God Bless
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
9,670
1,656
113
#13
if my parents worried about me, I never knew. they never said anything about it. come to think of it, no one in my family ever asked me when I'm getting married or told me I needed to get married soon. I'm grateful :)
 

danja

Senior Member
Nov 28, 2014
1,671
1,211
113
#14
As times goes by and i get older my parents are worried if i am gonna marry or not . And when i get married they will worry if i am happy in my marriage and if husband treats me welll. That is part of out culture also . We are very close to each other .
 

jameen

Senior Member
Feb 5, 2018
537
142
43
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Manila
#15
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Better to marry late but you married the right person than marrying early but ended in separation.

Most of the time, the right person for marriage is a long time friend or a best friend.

I don't really advise dating to find potential lovers. I do advise that friends first before date.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
4,263
202
63
#16
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
The LORD told rhe zhudeans through Jeremiah, find wives for your sins and husbands for your daughters
 

PaulaK

New member
Dec 25, 2018
7
8
3
#17
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
I went on-line, to a website, to find my husband. (Yes, he is a Christian)
 

PaulaK

New member
Dec 25, 2018
7
8
3
#18
As times goes by and i get older my parents are worried if i am gonna marry or not . And when i get married they will worry if i am happy in my marriage and if husband treats me welll. That is part of out culture also . We are very close to each other .[/QUOT

Good things come to those who wait.
 
Dec 1, 2018
14
35
13
#19
As times goes by and i get older my parents are worried if i am gonna marry or not . And when i get married they will worry if i am happy in my marriage and if husband treats me welll. That is part of out culture also . We are very close to each other .
Same here. My parents will always worry about me even if I'm 80 years old. To them, I am their child until the end of time. It's part of our culture.
 

TM19782017

Active member
Dec 15, 2018
213
137
43
#20
My opinion:

The term boyfriend/girlfriend is only a temporary person that most of us encounter on our quest to finding who is right for us.....Yes, the peer pressure to feel like part of the crew is a strong pull but, if something doesn't feel right to someone, they should follow their gut always.
All things work out in time and having patience is the absolutely hardest virtue to master. Especially in 2019.