Marriage vows

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
9,986
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#1
When you say a vow, arent you suppose to mean it and hold to it?
Why then do so many people break it?

Also, when people say marriage vows it seems some dont even say it, its more like the celebrant or minister says it for them and all they have to do is say I do or I agree.

But that means they never actually SAID their vows. Please can anyone explain.

Also, on the marriage certicficate, does it actually say the vows on it in writing? Otherwise, what do they sign?
 
May 17, 2019
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#2
Lanolin, yes when you say your wedding vows, it is a very serious vow. That is why marriage is sacred.

The marriage certificate is proof of the marriage, but, no it doesn't have the vows written on it.

Unfortunately, there are other ways of breaking a marriage vow than adultery. The vows promise to love and honour, and if one partner is abusive, they are breaking their marriage vows.

When they repeat the minister or priest when they say their vows, they are truly saying the vows. (similar to when a person takes the stand in court and swears to tell the truth, they don't repeat the oath just say "I do"
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
14,851
2,436
113
#3
When you say a vow, arent you suppose to mean it and hold to it?
Why then do so many people break it?

Also, when people say marriage vows it seems some dont even say it, its more like the celebrant or minister says it for them and all they have to do is say I do or I agree.

But that means they never actually SAID their vows. Please can anyone explain.

Also, on the marriage certicficate, does it actually say the vows on it in writing? Otherwise, what do they sign?
Well there are quite a few moving parts in this question about marriage. There are marriage vows each makes before God and vows that each makes before men. The certificate is issued by men as a governmental agency. Clergy officiates the marriage as a representative before God.

There are an almost unlimited amount of excuses why people break their vows.

The paper certificate means nothing if the heart is not right before God.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
9,986
3,628
113
#4
Lanolin, yes when you say your wedding vows, it is a very serious vow. That is why marriage is sacred.

The marriage certificate is proof of the marriage, but, no it doesn't have the vows written on it.

Unfortunately, there are other ways of breaking a marriage vow than adultery. The vows promise to love and honour, and if one partner is abusive, they are breaking their marriage vows.

When they repeat the minister or priest when they say their vows, they are truly saying the vows. (similar to when a person takes the stand in court and swears to tell the truth, they don't repeat the oath just say "I do"
But how can you tell if a person means what they say they could just be saying I do and not even understanding what they are saying I do to.

It would be like someone asking are you a christian and the person just says yes. But they never declared Jesus is Lord. Or asking do you believe Jesus is Lord and the other person just says yes (but they didnt actually say themselves Jesus Is Lord ) many people just say yes to anything, sometimes out of pressure.

Children are like that you tell them some rules, they say they will follow them or they swear they will but half the time they dont.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
9,986
3,628
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#5
This reminds me of the parents who do their children homework for them.

You are not supposed to DO their homework for them. All you are meant to do is help them or remind them to do it. But they actually have to do it. They cant do it if you are doing it on their behalf.

So the minister ought not to be saying the vows for them. The people getting married ought to have memorised the vows and say them themselves.
 

Homewardbound

Well-known member
Dec 10, 2018
1,046
566
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#6
Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman, (and between them both and God.)
Covenants are meant to be kept. It is up to the married couple to keep the covenant.
You can repeat the vow word for word, or you can agree to the vow. Either way a covenant has been made and needs to be kept by both parties.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
35,008
12,575
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#7
Children are like that you tell them some rules, they say they will follow them or they swear they will but half the time they dont.
The Israelites were just like that ;) Where is the great mystery here?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
9,986
3,628
113
#8
The Israelites were just like that ;) Where is the great mystery here?
Maybe they didnt repeat them or write them down or just plain forgot them.

I would expect them to be at least written down somewhere or they can at least say them. At a wedding ceremony I would expect both the bride and groom to have memorised the vows, say them out loud so all the witnesses know they arent at a fake wedding and lying to each other and at each wedding anniversary remind each other about them. Lol.