Married at First Sight TV Show?

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presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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#1
Has anyone here ever seen this show? The premise was shocking, and I saw the first season, or at least a lot of it. They have 'experts' match up people as potential spouses. I've seen bits and pieces of later seasons since streaming services became available.

For the first season, I noticed they got a couple of 90th percentile for good looks women on the show for the brides. I figured they would do that to guarantee looks would not be an issue. I can't really tell with the men. The 'experts' they had were a psychologist, sociologist, and 'religious adviser'. The religious was a humanist, which isn't even a real religion.

Recently, I started watching one of the seasons. Now, the main expert is a pastor. They keep showing him over and over again saying these couples are going to have to decide whether to stay married or to get a divorce. I find that rather shocking for a pastor to say-- to keep suggesting divorce as an alternative. Maybe it's editing, but he says it in clips, too. He's like the main 'expert' on the show. They got rid of the psychologist. You'd think for secular experts, a psychologist would be the way to go. They keep the sociologist. That's okay, but that seems a little less likely to be directly related to matching couples, IMO. She meets with the people, too. Is she supposed to be a 'clinical sociologist'? I don't think that's a thing. And one of the matchmaking experts is a sexologist, too.

You look at the people they match up, and a lot of them are really nice people. But this season has a hothead who was just engaged, and it turns out the ex-fiancee was pregnant. So he goes into the marriage with a baby momma. They couldn't tell he was a hothead or do a little digging to find out if someone was engaged two months before when they match people up? They could ask if anyone had had sex in the past 9 months as criteria for matchmaking.

I also notice that divorce is an option for some of these people. Why would the experts bother to match them up? And one of the men they matched up was divorced? Matching someone up with any kind of divorce history without telling the other party is a grave offense, IMO. I haven't seen them match any single parents up. Maybe that crosses the line, even for the 'experts.'

The pastor seems like a nice guy personality wise, but he sure does not seem to have an aversion to suggesting divorce. I would also be offended if I were the couples and someone basically gave my partner permission to divorce me because they were the 'experts' who matched me up. I'd tell them that I was in a marriage, not an 'experiment'-- that such terminology was demeaning, and then ask each one of them, "Do you want to divorce your husband?" "Do you want to divorce your wife? Do you want me to go meet with your wife and suggest she divorce you?"

If they were going to do a crazy show like this, and they cared more about keeping the people together, they could do something like include the parents in the decision making so someone who really cared, had a vested interest, and maybe knew a little bit about the bride or grooms type and deal breakers they didn't think of and get some input. They could even include siblings and friends. The couples would also go in with buy-in from family, which could create a different dynamic.

They also have people who aren't attracted, physically, to their partner. The pastor tries to convince them that attraction will grow. About looks, they started casting more regular folks for looks over time. Looks are so objective and are a big deal for a lot of people. So they would either have to really screen people carefully to make sure they care nothing about looks or else get model-looking people and make sure they fit the other partner's type. I generally liked the looks of women deemed by society to be attractive by the most part, but in the early '90's when I became an adult, I did not find Jamie Lee Curtis to be attractive, and I did not think that Julia Roberts was that pretty to me personally, or Cindy Crawford. There were certain people's looks that just didn't match my own tastes as far as attraction goes. I think a lot of people can be quirky about looks they find attractive or unattractive.

What I don't get is why people trust 'experts' with such a poor track record to put their marriages together. A slight majority agree to stay together at the end of the show, but I think overall the divorce rate is higher than that of the general population. Wikipedia says, "Over the thirteen completed seasons of MAFS, 49 couples have been matched. 29 of them (59%) chose to stay married on Decision Day, out of which more than half have since divorced, filed for divorce, or announced their divorce. As of December 2021, this left only 12 couples married, making for a current overall success rate of 24%." That's pretty lousy.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
24,347
12,870
113
#2
What I don't get is why people trust 'experts' with such a poor track record to put their marriages together.
Too many have been brainwashed or conditioned to believe that the so-called "experts" have the answers. As a matter of fact most of these experts are clueless. So why did you waste you time watching a stupid show?
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,082
1,749
113
#3
Too many have been brainwashed or conditioned to believe that the so-called "experts" have the answers. As a matter of fact most of these experts are clueless. So why did you waste you time watching a stupid show?
One sort-of positive thing I can say about occasionally watching reality TV on the topic of relationships is that it shows some of the flawed thinking some people have about it, so in teaching the word of God, it gives one areas to address.

The stupid show is about real people's lives, some of whom have allowed the scenario on the show to mess up their lives in different ways. Some people seem to have come out of it with a successful marriage. One of the couples from the first season was still together, I read. I think one lasted a while and the other called it quits after the first season. I cannot tell you about the other seasons.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
8,784
4,452
113
#4
Has anyone here ever seen this show? The premise was shocking, and I saw the first season, or at least a lot of it. They have 'experts' match up people as potential spouses. I've seen bits and pieces of later seasons since streaming services became available.

For the first season, I noticed they got a couple of 90th percentile for good looks women on the show for the brides. I figured they would do that to guarantee looks would not be an issue. I can't really tell with the men. The 'experts' they had were a psychologist, sociologist, and 'religious adviser'. The religious was a humanist, which isn't even a real religion.

Recently, I started watching one of the seasons. Now, the main expert is a pastor. They keep showing him over and over again saying these couples are going to have to decide whether to stay married or to get a divorce. I find that rather shocking for a pastor to say-- to keep suggesting divorce as an alternative. Maybe it's editing, but he says it in clips, too. He's like the main 'expert' on the show. They got rid of the psychologist. You'd think for secular experts, a psychologist would be the way to go. They keep the sociologist. That's okay, but that seems a little less likely to be directly related to matching couples, IMO. She meets with the people, too. Is she supposed to be a 'clinical sociologist'? I don't think that's a thing. And one of the matchmaking experts is a sexologist, too.

You look at the people they match up, and a lot of them are really nice people. But this season has a hothead who was just engaged, and it turns out the ex-fiancee was pregnant. So he goes into the marriage with a baby momma. They couldn't tell he was a hothead or do a little digging to find out if someone was engaged two months before when they match people up? They could ask if anyone had had sex in the past 9 months as criteria for matchmaking.

I also notice that divorce is an option for some of these people. Why would the experts bother to match them up? And one of the men they matched up was divorced? Matching someone up with any kind of divorce history without telling the other party is a grave offense, IMO. I haven't seen them match any single parents up. Maybe that crosses the line, even for the 'experts.'

The pastor seems like a nice guy personality wise, but he sure does not seem to have an aversion to suggesting divorce. I would also be offended if I were the couples and someone basically gave my partner permission to divorce me because they were the 'experts' who matched me up. I'd tell them that I was in a marriage, not an 'experiment'-- that such terminology was demeaning, and then ask each one of them, "Do you want to divorce your husband?" "Do you want to divorce your wife? Do you want me to go meet with your wife and suggest she divorce you?"

If they were going to do a crazy show like this, and they cared more about keeping the people together, they could do something like include the parents in the decision making so someone who really cared, had a vested interest, and maybe knew a little bit about the bride or grooms type and deal breakers they didn't think of and get some input. They could even include siblings and friends. The couples would also go in with buy-in from family, which could create a different dynamic.

They also have people who aren't attracted, physically, to their partner. The pastor tries to convince them that attraction will grow. About looks, they started casting more regular folks for looks over time. Looks are so objective and are a big deal for a lot of people. So they would either have to really screen people carefully to make sure they care nothing about looks or else get model-looking people and make sure they fit the other partner's type. I generally liked the looks of women deemed by society to be attractive by the most part, but in the early '90's when I became an adult, I did not find Jamie Lee Curtis to be attractive, and I did not think that Julia Roberts was that pretty to me personally, or Cindy Crawford. There were certain people's looks that just didn't match my own tastes as far as attraction goes. I think a lot of people can be quirky about looks they find attractive or unattractive.

What I don't get is why people trust 'experts' with such a poor track record to put their marriages together. A slight majority agree to stay together at the end of the show, but I think overall the divorce rate is higher than that of the general population. Wikipedia says, "Over the thirteen completed seasons of MAFS, 49 couples have been matched. 29 of them (59%) chose to stay married on Decision Day, out of which more than half have since divorced, filed for divorce, or announced their divorce. As of December 2021, this left only 12 couples married, making for a current overall success rate of 24%." That's pretty lousy.
Sounds like a show my wife would watch. She likes the drama. She watching a show right now about spouse swapping as in they came up with a therapy for couples looking at possible divorce but wants to work it out. So they spouse swap to see if the grass is any greener and then include all these exercises to help each individual to become better.

But it is so stupid. They literally have these two couples together for like 2 weeks, a dream house, dream location, no real worries, hot tub, pool, vacations, show videos to each couple showing how well their spouse is doing. It always makes them jealous but you guessed it, many of the couples start falling for the others spouse and many file for divorce.

I'm like is this a help someone cheat and get divorce show? Secular culture is ridiculously stupid. No wonder they can't have long lasting relationships.

But it is no surprise, Barna did a study on millennials show the majority have relationship problems. It came down to a self centered worldview versus self-less worldview.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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#5
But it is so stupid. They literally have these two couples together for like 2 weeks, a dream house, dream location, no real worries, hot tub, pool, vacations, show videos to each couple showing how well their spouse is doing. It always makes them jealous but you guessed it, many of the couples start falling for the others spouse and many file for divorce.
That's scandalous. It's not supposed to be wife-swapping for sex is it? It's pretty stupid if psychologists or marriage counselors are recommending such a thing.

I'm like is this a help someone cheat and get divorce show? Secular culture is ridiculously stupid. No wonder they can't have long lasting relationships.
The 'experts' on Married at First Sight seem sincere about wanting couples to stay married, though the pastor doesn't seem to have the Biblical aversion to divorce I see in Jesus' words. I wonder if the producers intentionally pick people who will create drama, or if the methodology they use just doesn't weed out all the people with major red flags, life problems, personality and moral issues that cause drama. I don't know if that is the case in every episode. But I suspect in the US if you choose 10 singles at random, the majority of them would make poor spouses, anyway, so they may not have to try.

I saw some clips on YouTube from the Australian version of the show. I don't think they get legally married. It seems more like a reality TV soap opera where sometimes couples cheat on each other with other newly-fake-weds on the show. They may be drawing on a population willing to live together without getting married. If that is the case, the bar is already lowered. The US show draws on people who are either foolish enough to trust these 'experts' or who think so little of divorce as to roll the dice and take their chances on finding someone through their 'experiment.' Otherwise, I can't think of any reason short of divine direction/revelation for a person to get married on that show. I'd expect someone to break the unwritten rules and grill the potential spouse for deal breakers before saying 'I do.' ("Have you ever been married? Are you married? Do you have any children? Is there a chance you have a child on the way that you don't know about? Do you drink? Do you sleep around?)

The episode I saw recently had a young woman who apparently drank a lot and kept talking about it, too. Experts could easily ask questions about drinking and exclude anyone who showed too much excitement for alcohol.

But it is no surprise, Barna did a study on millennials show the majority have relationship problems. It came down to a self centered worldview versus self-less worldview.
It's rough for singles looking for a decent spouse. Even in churches, to find someone who has good character, is sexually moral, tries to abstain from sin, isn't selfish, and has biblical values when it comes to the responsibilities of husbands and wives toward each other and actually wants to walk that out must be really hard. Then, adding finding the person attractive enough to consider as a partner and the other person liking you back. It must be tough. A lot of young people are brainwashed with left-wing social agendas, also.

Back when I got married, pickings seemed slim in the US. It seemed a better in Indonesia among Christians, where I was living and working where I met my wife.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
24,347
12,870
113
#6
One sort-of positive thing I can say about occasionally watching reality TV on the topic of relationships is that it shows some of the flawed thinking some people have about it, so in teaching the word of God, it gives one areas to address.
Fair enough. But I have always wondered about the way people can simply go on TV shows and bring out all their dirty laundry for the whole world. Let's keep in mind that these people really need to listen to the Gospel and Bible truth, but that is never presented to them.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
8,784
4,452
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#7
That's scandalous. It's not supposed to be wife-swapping for sex is it? It's pretty stupid if psychologists or marriage counselors are recommending such a thing.



The 'experts' on Married at First Sight seem sincere about wanting couples to stay married, though the pastor doesn't seem to have the Biblical aversion to divorce I see in Jesus' words. I wonder if the producers intentionally pick people who will create drama, or if the methodology they use just doesn't weed out all the people with major red flags, life problems, personality and moral issues that cause drama. I don't know if that is the case in every episode. But I suspect in the US if you choose 10 singles at random, the majority of them would make poor spouses, anyway, so they may not have to try.

I saw some clips on YouTube from the Australian version of the show. I don't think they get legally married. It seems more like a reality TV soap opera where sometimes couples cheat on each other with other newly-fake-weds on the show. They may be drawing on a population willing to live together without getting married. If that is the case, the bar is already lowered. The US show draws on people who are either foolish enough to trust these 'experts' or who think so little of divorce as to roll the dice and take their chances on finding someone through their 'experiment.' Otherwise, I can't think of any reason short of divine direction/revelation for a person to get married on that show. I'd expect someone to break the unwritten rules and grill the potential spouse for deal breakers before saying 'I do.' ("Have you ever been married? Are you married? Do you have any children? Is there a chance you have a child on the way that you don't know about? Do you drink? Do you sleep around?)

The episode I saw recently had a young woman who apparently drank a lot and kept talking about it, too. Experts could easily ask questions about drinking and exclude anyone who showed too much excitement for alcohol.



It's rough for singles looking for a decent spouse. Even in churches, to find someone who has good character, is sexually moral, tries to abstain from sin, isn't selfish, and has biblical values when it comes to the responsibilities of husbands and wives toward each other and actually wants to walk that out must be really hard. Then, adding finding the person attractive enough to consider as a partner and the other person liking you back. It must be tough. A lot of young people are brainwashed with left-wing social agendas, also.

Back when I got married, pickings seemed slim in the US. It seemed a better in Indonesia among Christians, where I was living and working where I met my wife.
That's scandalous. It's not supposed to be wife-swapping for sex is it? It's pretty stupid if psychologists or marriage counselors are recommending such a thing.
Idk I think the rules are no intimacy
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,082
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#9
This is just prostitution for the sake of entertainment/money. Whoremongering.

It's not a Biblical marriage if it is not approached with a Biblical attitude and commitment.
They may be just as committed to their marriage as the average person on the street is, these days.
 

GardenofWeeden

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2018
411
369
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The Garden of Weeden
#10
What I don't get is why people trust 'experts' with such a poor track record to put their marriages together.
I can't speak for everyone, but often people's logic is, "what I am doing isn't working, maybe they can do better by me." Desperate people make desperate choices.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,082
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#11
I can't speak for everyone, but often people's logic is, "what I am doing isn't working, maybe they can do better by me." Desperate people make desperate choices.
That's the kind of stuff they say, but if they watched the show and read about success rates, maybe the experts cannot do better. At least going on the show, if they get selected, they get __someone__ to be matched up with.
 

proverbs35

Senior Member
Nov 10, 2012
825
239
43
#12
One sort-of positive thing I can say about occasionally watching reality TV on the topic of relationships is that it shows some of the flawed thinking some people have about it, so in teaching the word of God, it gives one areas to address.

The stupid show is about real people's lives, some of whom have allowed the scenario on the show to mess up their lives in different ways. Some people seem to have come out of it with a successful marriage. One of the couples from the first season was still together, I read. I think one lasted a while and the other called it quits after the first season. I cannot tell you about the other seasons.
I skimmed through comments, so forgive me if I am off topic.

I don't watch the show. I think it's bizarre, but I do like to read pop culture news, so I read about the show and various couples when they trend or go viral. With that being said, I have read that the divorce rate is very high for this show.

Over the thirteen completed seasons of MAFS, 49 couples have been matched. 29 of them (59%) chose to stay married on Decision Day, out of which more than half have since divorced, filed for divorce, or announced their divorce.
No. of seasons: 13
Ending theme: "All or Nothing" by Louise Dowd, Jason Tarver & Marc Williams › wiki
Married at First Sight (American TV series) - Wikipedia

https://www.google.com/search?q=mar...ZgBAKABAcgBCMABAQ&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp

Also, if I remember correctly, they do not get paid for being on this show. They may get a very modest stipend. I was surprised because I could only really imagine people doing this for money. I still believe that many of them are doing if for the 15 seconds of fame and to boost their social media careers and gain followers.
 

GardenofWeeden

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2018
411
369
63
The Garden of Weeden
#13
That's the kind of stuff they say, but if they watched the show and read about success rates, maybe the experts cannot do better. At least going on the show, if they get selected, they get __someone__ to be matched up with.
Maybe they are being paid a LOT of money to be on the show, so no matter how it works out, they are set? ;):):)
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,082
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#14
Also, if I remember correctly, they do not get paid for being on this show. They may get a very modest stipend. I was surprised because I could only really imagine people doing this for money. I still believe that many of them are doing if for the 15 seconds of fame and to boost their social media careers and gain followers.
Maybe someone is pocketing the money and making someone else suffer over it. :)

A dad's in this season I was looking at said he did not have to pay anything for the wedding. The show selects the Honeymoon location, so I'd imagine they pay for that, and they might put them up in an apartment while one or both married partners keep their place to live. That's not really much of a financial bonus, but I'd imagine the wedding with a meal could run many thousand dollars and the vacations they send them on might cost $1000, so that is a financial benefit. But I doubt they would think of it as financial gain like a couple would who was looking at financing these things themselves in the short term.

It might be about the fame for some of them, hoping to be happily married and part of spin off series. Maybe they could sell vitamins or something like that through YouTube and social media when they get enough followers. But I imagine a lot of them are really looking for someone and want to take this as a short-cut.

What I don't get is why they don't look at the national divorce rate and then compare it to the really high divorce rate for couples on the show. And they can stream some old episodes and see how badly the matches turned out for a lot of other couples.
 

proverbs35

Senior Member
Nov 10, 2012
825
239
43
#15
Maybe someone is pocketing the money and making someone else suffer over it. :)

A dad's in this season I was looking at said he did not have to pay anything for the wedding. The show selects the Honeymoon location, so I'd imagine they pay for that, and they might put them up in an apartment while one or both married partners keep their place to live. That's not really much of a financial bonus, but I'd imagine the wedding with a meal could run many thousand dollars and the vacations they send them on might cost $1000, so that is a financial benefit. But I doubt they would think of it as financial gain like a couple would who was looking at financing these things themselves in the short term.

It might be about the fame for some of them, hoping to be happily married and part of spin off series. Maybe they could sell vitamins or something like that through YouTube and social media when they get enough followers. But I imagine a lot of them are really looking for someone and want to take this as a short-cut.

What I don't get is why they don't look at the national divorce rate and then compare it to the really high divorce rate for couples on the show. And they can stream some old episodes and see how badly the matches turned out for a lot of other couples.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/ourtee...atform-for-instagram-influencer-wannabes/amp/

A lot of the people who appear on reality shows are social media wannabes. Getting on a reality show is a good way to pick up followers. I only know because I read about pop culture. A few people who appear on MAFS may get into for a genuine experience, which is still strange. I wouldn't think that the producers behind the scenes putting these matches together would even care about compatibility. I think they probably base the matches on what is gonna create good TV drama in order to generate views. People getting into this for a genuine shot at marriage a naive, for lack of a better word to describe 'em.

Marriage is a tough business even when intentions are mutually good and couples seem compatible.
 

GardenofWeeden

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2018
411
369
63
The Garden of Weeden
#16
It might be about the fame for some of them, hoping to be happily married and part of spin off series. Maybe they could sell vitamins or something like that through YouTube and social media when they get enough followers. But I imagine a lot of them are really looking for someone and want to take this as a short-cut.

What I don't get is why they don't look at the national divorce rate and then compare it to the really high divorce rate for couples on the show. And they can stream some old episodes and see how badly the matches turned out for a lot of other couples.
That 15 minutes of fame can draw desperate people like moths to a flame. haha but the poster who mentioned the followers and all is right. There is HUGE money in instagram, facebook and youtube advertising if you have enough followers, so to some, I suppose a quickie marriage, short living situation change and then a quickie divorce can be a slight blow to accept to gain fame and fortune.

The problem is, we think like believers....we are set apart from the world, so we can't fully understand their logic. All we can do is speculate. :)
 
O

Oblio

Guest
#17
I stopped watching T.V. in the 90s. I couldn't handle the stupidity. Sounds like things haven't improved! o_O
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
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#18
weird
was the pastor a real pastor or a fake one
were the people real Christians or fakes ones
Did they really get married...I dont think so! Whos paying for the weddings? Doesnt seem like the parents are.

Also am not sure I would actually want to watch couples on their (fake?) honeymoons. Does the camera follow them around into the bedroom and later when they have children too.

A whole lot of money probably offered on that show to do a lot of fake acting.

When watching any tv show, check the credits. Who is doing the production and the writing of the show? Who is financing it? Probably the ads sprinkled through the breaks and product placement will also be a clue.

I recall one tv channel has nothing but australian 'reality' shows of peoole doing stupid things like obstacle courses in the middle of the desert, doing up their property portfolio for profit, trying to garden with instant makeovers overnight, bachelorette hens parties, going on overseas trips and embarassing the locals with their inane ignorance, singing badly and being judged on how badly they sing, and eating worms on a dare.

I mean I'd rather watch cartoons they are much more sophisticated and intellectual.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,082
1,749
113
#19
weird
was the pastor a real pastor or a fake one
were the people real Christians or fakes ones
Did they really get married...I dont think so! Whos paying for the weddings? Doesnt seem like the parents are.
They meet each other for the first time at the wedding ceremony. The father may give the bride away at the wedding. Apparently, the show pays for the wedding and the dinner that follows. Venues do not look that fancy, usually. Some parents may object and choose not to participate.

The one conducting the ceremony is typically a woman who never uses the book of common prayer script, but some other script I found annoying, and part of the ceremony is reporting what friends or family think of each participant, either something funny or something positive.

Some of the participants talk about how important their faith is. One couple kept using phrases like 'man of God' or 'woman of God', but the husband had just been engaged and his ex told him he was pregnant. The woman said that could have happened to her. No one said if you aren't what are you doing fornicating?

The pastor on the show that says, If they don't do X now, these couples may get a divorce....with X being something that does not necessitate divorce. He suggests divorce to them sometimes. I emailed the guys church to pass on my concerns about how loosely Matthew 19 was taken hoping he'd read it, and one of his admirers from the church defended him. I just looked him up to see if he was associated with gay marriage in any way, and found an interview in which he was asked why there were no same-sex couples. He gave 'logistics' as his rationale' https://madamenoire.com/1033090/pastor-cal-mafs/

Also am not sure I would actually want to watch couples on their (fake?) honeymoons. Does the camera follow them around into the bedroom and later when they have children too.
It shows them lay down on the bed in their pajamas and talk on their wedding night. The cameras leave eventually. The cameras probably prevent some stuff from happening, or at least happening earlier, for some couples. It's probably typical the couples don't do anything particularly interesting the first night. One of the couples in the season I talked about did, the viewers find out later, the one who got the phone call about the baby momma who wanted to dump his wife and go back to his ex so he could raise the baby with her.

The show lasts so many weeks, after which time they ask if they want to get a divorce. I think there was a spin off of the first season. One of the couples might have had a show about having a baby or maybe some online clips about it. I don't know. I haven't watched everything.

A whole lot of money probably offered on that show to do a lot of fake acting.
I think they prompt them to talk about stuff, then record what they say.

I recall one tv channel has nothing but australian 'reality' shows of peoole doing stupid things like obstacle courses in the middle of the desert, doing up their property portfolio for profit, trying to garden with instant makeovers overnight, bachelorette hens parties, going on overseas trips and embarassing the locals with their inane ignorance, singing badly and being judged on how badly they sing, and eating worms on a dare.
This sounds kind of like the show 'Jackass.' I saw bits and pieces. It's not something I could sit through. I did not care for watching the Three Stooges either.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
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#20
sounds fake/acted

I recall one show was forced to sit through was about couples having their weddings and everyone had to rate how good their wedding parties were.

Dont know who was paying for the weddings. It was the brides that seemed like were all organising it. Most genuine weddings the bride does not do EVERYTHING. Shes got enough to worry about rather than organise guests and what to eat etc. That is what bridesmaids, mothers, etc are for.