My marriage needs prayer.

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Feb 18, 2017
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#1
My husband of 12 years decided last week he wants a divorce. I adore him and am so crushed.

I love my church family but they are really close to us as a couple.

I am looking for some help and encouragement from some believers that are not not so close to the situation.

How can he have spent years listening to pastor, talking to men about their marriages, tithing, serving and just walk away? I don't understand.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#2
He simply didn't have love in his heart for you. Apparently those years doing the things you mentioned was not for your benefit. You tell a sad story. I have said a prayer for God to comfort you in your hour of need.
 
Feb 18, 2017
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#3
Thank you.

I wish I could hate him right now. It would be easier.
I love him so much.

I am such an idiot to have been so blind to the real man he is.

I want reconciliation that it truly my prayer request.
 
Feb 18, 2017
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#4
He's lost God from his life. I'm so sad for him. My heart hurts.
 
May 14, 2016
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#5
Sometimes you need to let him go and not try to hold on. Only then and with time he may realize what he has lost by his own actions and for him to miss you and perhaps look at the marriage in a whole different context....
 
Dec 19, 2009
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#6
My husband of 12 years decided last week he wants a divorce. I adore him and am so crushed.

I love my church family but they are really close to us as a couple.

I am looking for some help and encouragement from some believers that are not not so close to the situation.

How can he have spent years listening to pastor, talking to men about their marriages, tithing, serving and just walk away? I don't understand.
It would appear that you overestimated your husband's good intentions. It sounds like he is a real jerk (putting it mildly). Your church should stand by you, unless they also are jerks. But for you, walk with Jesus. He'll lead you to happiness.
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
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#7
you shouldn't be looking to 'anyone' for 'encouragement or help' except to your Maker,
for He only has your best interests in His heart,,,go to Him 'first' and then He will guide you
to whom He elects to help you on your journey...
 
Feb 18, 2017
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#8
My church family is totally loving on me. I'm so thankful.

And yes he is being a jerk, but I chose love and will continue to do so.

It's just tough because we were always together and every time someone sees me they ask about him. And I cry.
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
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#9
Will keep you in prayer.

Have you tried marriage counseling or does your church have a Stephen ministry?

Even if yours doesn't one near you might. They will pair you up with someone to talk to and pray with you. They are trained to walk along side people going through big changes in their lives. Mine helped me a lot.
 
Feb 18, 2017
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#10
You are not wrong, however, the body of Christ is supposed to be the hands and feet of God.
The support and prayers in agreement with each other gives much encouragement.
That's another good reason for us to not forsake the gathering of others.
 
Feb 18, 2017
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#11
Thank you. My husband has agreed to join me tomorrow for marriage counselling at our church. He doesn't think it will matter but I'm am standing on Gods promises to me. I'm praying for some peace for both our hearts.
 
Feb 18, 2017
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#12
I'm think I replied out of order. If so I'm sorry. I've never tried chat rooms before.
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
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#13
Did he give a reason for leaving you? Maybe you both can make adjustments in marriage counselling and save your marriage.

I've been married 37 years. My husband and I fell totally in love in the beginning. Then life intruded, we got distracted and things got bad. And on more than one occasion, although we were both faithful to each other. We even separated once for 8 months. He was determined to make a go of it on his own. He discovered that he didn't want to make a go of life without me, and we reconciled, and have not had a major problem since. (Although some small problems, here and there!)

A friend at our new church asked me how long we had been married. I told him, and said we had been through some really hard times together, he replied that he and his wife had too! In fact, I think a lot of long time married couples also have been through some hard times. So bad, that they didn't think the marriage would last.

This is just to tell you, that no marriage, or person is perfect. It is strange to me that two people who love each other would just diverge apart. But, like I said, many do come back together. It is our society, that teaches us that divorce is ok, and nothing wrong with moving on. Being faithful is not just about being "in love." It is about our commitment to Christ, and our loyalty and forgiveness towards our spouse.

But God wants to use these difficult times of life to change us. How can you change for God's glory through this situation? What can you do to be a better follower of Jesus? That is the most important question to ask. And God will use it for good, and perhaps it will make your marriage stronger in the long run.

Praying that God will restore your marriage and your husband, but this time will also bring you closer to God.
 
Sep 3, 2016
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#14
My husband of 12 years decided last week he wants a divorce. I adore him and am so crushed.

I love my church family but they are really close to us as a couple.

I am looking for some help and encouragement from some believers that are not not so close to the situation.

How can he have spent years listening to pastor, talking to men about their marriages, tithing, serving and just walk away? I don't understand.
God has chosen to operate His work from the basis of faith. "The Law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:2) is God's prescribed order of victory for the Believer over sin, the world, the flesh, and the Devil. This means that the Believer must maintained Faith exclusively in Christ and His Finished Work, i.e., The Cross, i.e., The Blood of Jesus. This allows the Holy Spirit to help us as we grow in grace and the knowledge of Lord Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit only works in the parameters of Jesus Christ and His Finished Work at Calvary's Cross. Only the Holy Spirit can mortify the deeds of the flesh (Romans 8:13). No person has the power to change themselves! Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil. Jeremiah 13:23

When the Believer places their faith in anything else you frustrate Gods grace. Ecclesiastes 10:8 says, "When the hedge comes down and the serpent will bite." The scripture also says that that person is profane. Who is giving away their inheritance as Esau. Hebrews 12:16 KJV
 
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Feb 18, 2017
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#15
He said he never loved me. We weren't christians when we got married.
He said I was easy and then he felt guilty.
He thought he could learn to love me.
... I'm praying we can figure it out.
 
Sep 3, 2016
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#16
He said he never loved me. We weren't christians when we got married.
He said I was easy and then he felt guilty.
He thought he could learn to love me.
... I'm praying we can figure it out.
Psalm 115:12-14 King James Version (KJV)
[SUP]
12 [/SUP]The Lord hath been mindful of us: he will bless us; he will bless the house of Israel; he will bless the house of Aaron.

[SUP]
13 [/SUP]He will bless them that fear the Lord, both small and great.

[SUP]
14 [/SUP]The Lord shall increase you more and more, you and your children.

Lamentations 3:21-24 King James Version (KJV)[SUP]
21 [/SUP]This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.

[SUP]
22 [/SUP]It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

[SUP]
23 [/SUP]They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

[SUP]
24 [/SUP]The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.



 
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Feb 18, 2017
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#17
We've been through so much. God has healed me so much. I don't know what this is right now.
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
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#18
I'm think I replied out of order. If so I'm sorry. I've never tried chat rooms before.
Reply with quote helps. Button on the bottom right

No worries though. We can figure it out.,,like a matching game with replies.
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
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#19
He said he never loved me. We weren't christians when we got married.
He said I was easy and then he felt guilty.
He thought he could learn to love me.
... I'm praying we can figure it out.
Wow, that has to hurt. Wish I could give you a hug. I don't know what to say. Will continue to keep you in prayer.

Do you have any kids together?
 
Feb 18, 2017
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#20
Wow, that has to hurt. Wish I could give you a hug. I don't know what to say. Will continue to keep you in prayer.

Do you have any kids together?
No, but my son was only five when we met. So, essentially his. My husband wants to still be a part of his life and support him.