My mother hates me :(

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Dec 14, 2013
131
6
0
#1
I don't want to get into much detail, but my mother and I completely hate each other. We are both Christians, however, but our relationship is so full of anger and hatred that I don't even want to see her anymore, as she doesn't want to see me either. I can't even have a normal conversation with my mother, and she practically knows nothing about me (like my friends, church friends, my schoolwork, etc.). She never asks nor does she really care about my whereabouts. Whenever I mention something to her, like something that made my day or made me happy, she doesn't connect to it and rather feels indifferent. She doesn't like when I am successful or happy. The only time I hear most of her words is through arguing. She can go on and on for hours yelling at me, telling me things like she can't wait for me to leave and move out, she can't wait to see me unsuccessful and unhappy with a guy who's going to hurt me, etc. And when I cry, she feels no sympathy whatsoever. I don't know what to do. School is stressful and my relationship with her just makes everything seem worse. I need help
 

JimJimmers

Senior Member
Apr 26, 2012
2,547
39
48
#2
It sounds like your mother is trying to get rid of her own pain by putting it on you. This is wrong, of course, but people still do it. Even Christian people do it. I know that won't take away the pain of what's happening, but I hope it will show you that it's not your fault, and it doesn't mean you will be a failure in life. She's drowning in life, but you don't have to. Pray for her, and remember that God controls your life, not her words.

I am sorry you are going through this, I am praying for you. -JIM
 

Toska

Senior Member
Nov 16, 2013
1,857
22
38
#3
I am so sorry you are going through this. I agree with Jim, it sounds like your mom is trying to unload her pain on you. Have these feelings between the two of you been going on for very long? or is it more recent? Is it possible that she is jealous of you and does not know how to handle those feelings? I am sorry for all the questions, they popped into my mind as I was reading your post. I want to reach through the computer and give you a huge hug.

I cannot imagine the pain and stress this is causing you. Please know that I am praying for you and your mom. Praying that God will show your mom the pain you are going through and how much you need her to support you. Praying that God will guide you during this very hard time in your life.

 
W

ww_21

Guest
#4
I've said the same thing about my own relationship with my mother many times. If you wish to talk about it feel free to send me a message and we can meet up and chat. I've been there, I know how it feels. *hugs*
 

J-Kay-2

Senior Member
Nov 4, 2013
2,767
24
0
#5
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand
in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose
delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit
in season and whose leaf does not wither---whatever they do prospers.
Psalm 1: 1-3
 
Sep 10, 2013
1,428
19
0
#6
And what about your father? What does he think about all this? How is your relation with him?
 
Dec 14, 2013
131
6
0
#7
And what about your father? What does he think about all this? How is your relation with him?
My father is like the middleman. He is unbiased, and looks at it from both perspectives. He loves us both. And he reassures my mother to use her words wisely, because she isn't fully aware of my sensitivity. He sometimes thinks that I can be annoying trying to get my mother's attention or praise, but I haven't had her appraisal in so long it hurts and I begin to feel desperate for her love.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
13,903
1,681
113
65
#8
Teenage years are so rough. Teens don't understand parents and parents don't understand teens - at least that is how it seems. Sorry that you feel your mother hates you, I certainly hope that is not really true. I know when my daughter was a teen we were in the throws of an argument and she said to me - You know how you want to hate someone but you just can't?!! Through gritted teeth I said Yes I know exactly what you mean. We both knew that even though we were at BIG Odds at that moment we did still loved each other.

Your mother is the adult and she should know better, but I am not living her life right now and don't know what she has to deal with everyday. Also I don't know what you are going through everyday. But understand that God loves you both and has sent His Son to die for both of you. That means that you are both worth a lot to Him. Pray for your mom and ask God to help your situation so that your mother will have understanding towards you.

Dear Father In Heaven

Please be with ChristianGirl and her mother. Father please send your angels to fight against any evil that might be trying to separate this family from the love they have for each other. There is so much stress on parents and lots of stress on teens too. Please soften both of their hearts toward each other. Get rid of the anger and misunderstanding between them both and help them to run to You Father with this problem. Thank you for bringing them back together I pray in Jesus name. Amen
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
72
0
#9
Oh!
I hope no one comes to preach on you... I am quite older and I´m sure my mom doesn´t love me and I don´t love her either... Just this morning, at 5 am, she started to discuss and "fight" because she is always right (of course none is always right).

You will overcome those feelings! I have fought and I don´t care if I am being beaten.

I wish you the best!
 
Sep 10, 2013
1,428
19
0
#10
My father is like the middleman. He is unbiased, and looks at it from both perspectives. He loves us both. And he reassures my mother to use her words wisely, because she isn't fully aware of my sensitivity. He sometimes thinks that I can be annoying trying to get my mother's attention or praise, but I haven't had her appraisal in so long it hurts and I begin to feel desperate for her love.
I asked about the father because I can say that in a way, I have been through the same situation (when I was a teenager and living with my parents) as you are now and I focused my love and affection on my father. I love both my parents, but my father has always been there for me, he always helped me and whenever I was doing something wrong he would scold me in a very kind way, whithout yelling or adressing me bad words and I always tried not to dissapoint him because he always believed in me; I`m sorry if my post doesn`t help you, it`s just that I adore my father and I thought that maybe you should love your mother in another way and show your father more affection...maybe he`s more capable in responding to your feelings in the way that you want your mother to respond.
 

Searchlight

Junior Member
Feb 11, 2014
26
0
0
#11
Am I missing something here? the first thing we need to do as Christians is understand where this staff is coming from! We have an enemy that hates humanity that specializes in 3 things "steal kill and and destroy" he is attacking your Mom and you both. Stop dealing with this in the natural. The Word of God is the breath of God, it is the Will of God, it is the only thing the devil fears. The devil himself quoted Psalm 91 to the Lord Jesus in the desert when he tempted Him to commit suicide which means he recognizes it as The authority (Hebrew 4-12) Put plainly against the devil and any trials in life The Word of God is like a machine gun and the versus are the bullets. Go to your room close the door Open your bible to Psalm 91:9-10 and say with authority "it is written that because I have made The Lord my dwelling place NO evil shall befall me nor will any tragedy come near my home, devil you therefor have no spiritual legal rights to be here so pack up your bag of tricks and get lost in the Mighty Name of Jesus" then open Jer 1-19 and do the same then do the same with Isaiah 54-17 and with Isaiah 54 -1-19 and Isaiah 43-1-2. Do this at least once a day. In other words get Jesus involved in this situation as it is the only way to defeat and change this situation. When your Mom starts arguing with you DO NOT SAY A WORD just love her. You can do this by thinking about the Lord Jesus and shutting off when she is finished yelling close your eyes and say "Lord Jesus You are my strength I cannot fix this but You can please pour your Grace on this situation" and watch her change over a short period of time. One more thing, the devil is going to tell you that this is all rubbish and that it will never change and not to bother with any of this. Just ignore him, remember he is a lier. If this is not going to work why would he tell you that? why not just let you do it and fail? In ALL situations we are victorious through Christ all we have to do is call on Him and trust Him.
 

Searchlight

Junior Member
Feb 11, 2014
26
0
0
#12
Buddy I know your Mom may not care but I want you to know that God Loves you and I want to tell just how much.

I want you to picture this:
Here is the Creator and owner of the universe and everything within it, The Holiest of Holiest, His Majesty, The Mighty One, The Chief and Commander of the armies of Heaven. He willingly steps off His Throne and comes down to earth in human form to rescue His children.
He allows His creations to shame Him, rip His body apart with whips that had hooks and glass at the end of each thread, bash Him to the extent that His face no longer looked human, thrust a crown of one inch long thorns DEEP in-to His head and then spit on Him, mock Him, make Him carry His own cross that it was so heavy He kept stumbling and falling with the Cross landing on His ripped apart and bloodied body and yet He kept getting up and kept going because all He could think about was YOU.
He allows them to drive 5 inch nails in-to His hands and feet and hang Him on a cross and then watch them gamble for His clothes. And all along He never committed a SINGLE sin never said a single word, not even a whisper.
So what does this Beautiful, Majestic, and Wonderful God that with one gesture could have commanded 12 legions of Angels to come down from heaven and destroy them all in less than 10 seconds do?
He looks up and says to His heavenly Father, “Father please forgive them, as do not know what they re doing”
For six hours He hangs on The Cross whilst ALL THE SIN of Man Kind enters His body. You see it had, to so that God could deal with it (Sin) and remove It ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Just stop and think for a second how He is feeling at this point. The hater of sin, perfect, righteous and Holy in ALL His ways and totally sinless receiving the sin of murder, paedophilia, sexual immorality, lies, deceit, man’s slaughter, adultery, blasphemy, and everything that is evil in-to His body, and as if that wasn’t bad enough for the first time in eternity His Father turns His back on Him and separates Himself from Him so that He could punish All of our sins (Past Present and Future) and take out His Righteous anger on The Lord Jesus His only much loved Son instead of YOU and I.
The separation is too much for Him and He cries “My God My God why have you abandoned me?”
At this point He is totally alone and totally rejected dying on a Cross for sins He NEVER committed and for people that hated and despised Him.
The God of creation went from having everything to having nothing so that YOU AND I COULD HAVE IT ALL! Praise His Holy and wonderful Name FOR EVER!
As his spirit is about to leave His body He speaks out in a loud voice “IT IS FINISHED”, and when He did the wall of sin that separated us from God crumbled, and God unleashed a flood tide of His grace upon us.
It is His finished work at The Cross that makes, who so ever believes and confesses that He is the Son of God, who died on the cross for his/her sins, resurrected after three days and is now seated at the right hand of God His father as his/her representative, that makes you and I sinless, righteous and perfect in God’s eyes forever.
The amasing thing is that if everyone was already saved and YOU were the only one in the entire world that needed Him to lay His life down for, He would have still done it all regardless.
This is the purest form of infinite, undeserved, unearned and unconditional Love which I will never be able to understand for as long as I live. This is Grace.
 
Dec 12, 2013
46,515
20,463
113
#13
I don't want to get into much detail, but my mother and I completely hate each other. We are both Christians, however, but our relationship is so full of anger and hatred that I don't even want to see her anymore, as she doesn't want to see me either. I can't even have a normal conversation with my mother, and she practically knows nothing about me (like my friends, church friends, my schoolwork, etc.). She never asks nor does she really care about my whereabouts. Whenever I mention something to her, like something that made my day or made me happy, she doesn't connect to it and rather feels indifferent. She doesn't like when I am successful or happy. The only time I hear most of her words is through arguing. She can go on and on for hours yelling at me, telling me things like she can't wait for me to leave and move out, she can't wait to see me unsuccessful and unhappy with a guy who's going to hurt me, etc. And when I cry, she feels no sympathy whatsoever. I don't know what to do. School is stressful and my relationship with her just makes everything seem worse. I need help
Maybe so, but the bible teaches that we cannot claim to love God who we cannot see if we cannot love our brothers and sisters in Christ who we can see. If you and your mother are truly born again that makes you sisters in Christ....maybe if you both begin to view your relationship is such terms you could improve the situation you find yourself in. Just a thought to ponder
 

damombomb

Senior Member
Feb 27, 2011
3,801
64
48
#14
Sometimes how our parents were raised effects how they raise their children.
I feel for you, hold your head up high , its not your fault.
I pray you are successful at everything you put your hand to do,in Jesus name
 

Tmercy

Junior Member
Jan 6, 2014
23
0
0
#15
You might feel alone in this battle your facing. Your not alone nor are you unloved.
Psalms 45:11, Isaiah 62:4, Psalms 119. A whole chapter speaking of love for you. This is a time for God to speak to you about you, Shedding light and bringing your soul healing. Sometimes the pain we go through with our family might not change the way we think but with Christ love healing and motivating you to walk in that love well produce more change then you can imagine. I hope this helps. What your going through is very hard, praying for healing for you and your family.
 
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
180
0
#16
God used this woman to create you, and for that you are asked to honor her. God created you as the special person you are and no one has a right to say it was wrong in any way, not even your mother. You not only have a right to just be you and proud of it, but you have a duty to God to do that. There is no need to fight with her about it, it is simply your right.

God created us to live in a world where mother's support and love help children grow. When children don't have that support, we have to go to God for it, and that is very hard. It is not the natural way of things. If the world went by how God created it to be, that would not be necessary. It is a lot to ask of you. But God is there. God is in scripture, and in prayer communication. God wants mother love support for you, and will give you extra strength to live as if you had it.

Your need is not to handle your Mom. That is up to her and God. Your need is in giving yourself strength enough through Christ to accept the love of the Lord for you as strong enough to use instead of the support of your Mom. The more you accept your Mom as just who she is and don't expect her to behave as you would like her to the better it will be for you.

God is watching. God cares.
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
72
0
#17
If you have a close look at this: "...she can't wait to see me unsuccessful and unhappy with a guy who's going to hurt me, etc..." You may find out she cares and, perhaps, overprotective... But I´m sure if I lend you my mother for a week, you will send her back with several bills of 100 $.

Ha! Ha!
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
72
0
#18
There is no need for you to see this happens at home and outside:"And when I cry, she feels no sympathy whatsoever."
Happily. you´ll find out several people on CC do paid attention and offered you their arms and hugs. Talk to them, please!

There are just two people I know I recommend. (Shhhh!... Don´t tell them I told you, please) :eek:
 
F

FishCross

Guest
#19
Hey Christian gal,

There is obviously something that is going on in her life that has caused her to be this way. She might be angry and full of hatred because of events that has happened in her life, and has nothing to do with you, but she is taking out those problems she has on you. Is she unhappy about something in her life? Stress, work, failed marriage, relationships or goals in her life?

One of the tell-tale sign is that she says she can't wait for you to be "unsuccessful and unhappy with a guy who's going to hurt me." This might mean that she thinks that she is living an unsuccessful life, and have someone or a man who have hurt her.

May I ask, where is your father in this relationship?
 

J-Kay-2

Senior Member
Nov 4, 2013
2,767
24
0
#20
A couple of things touched me as something to think about.
1. She is treating her as she was treated at home. ( Mother)
2. Honor Mother, this would be pleasing to our Lord.
The word JEALOUSY came to me. I do not know if there is any
reason your mom would be jealous of you. It could be your
relationship with your dad. Your ability to talk with him more
easily than her. You may have a sweet and loving spirit, she
could be jealous of.
One poster mentioned fighting spiritual warfare and we know
jealousy is a spirit.
The advice to go the Word of God is most helpful through issues
in our life.
God bless you. Look how many have come to love you ~
You are SPECIAL ~ You are LOVED ~ You are FAMILY ~J~K~2