My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need advi

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sweetguy

Junior Member
Nov 27, 2017
1
0
0
#1
My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need advi

My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need advice please!!!
I just want to clarify, my parents are good people. They don’t mean to be offensive, I guess they’re just not used to the concept of such a large age gap between partners. For a bit of backstory, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. We met on this site called Loveme, and as far as relationships go, this might be my best one.

She’s really intelligent, sometimes it feels like she’s smarter than me. She’s funny, and just hearing her voice on the other side of the line can turn a bad day around. I see a future with this woman, and it’s amazing. Now here’s the catch: she’s 26, and I’m 38. We don’t see a problem with it, age really isn’t an issue. Our friends are genuinely happy for us.

But when I introduced her to my family a few months ago, they completely closed themselves off from our relationship. They think it’s “improper” that I’m dating someone so young, and everytime they call, the first thing they ask is if we’re still together. I want them to be happy for us, especially since I’m planning on proposing. Their support would mean so much for our relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How did you guys handle it? Any advice would really help out a lot.


 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,162
204
63
#2
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need advice please!!!
I just want to clarify, my parents are good people. They don’t mean to be offensive, I guess they’re just not used to the concept of such a large age gap between partners. For a bit of backstory, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. We met on this site called Loveme, and as far as relationships go, this might be my best one.

She’s really intelligent, sometimes it feels like she’s smarter than me. She’s funny, and just hearing her voice on the other side of the line can turn a bad day around. I see a future with this woman, and it’s amazing. Now here’s the catch: she’s 26, and I’m 38. We don’t see a problem with it, age really isn’t an issue. Our friends are genuinely happy for us.

But when I introduced her to my family a few months ago, they completely closed themselves off from our relationship. They think it’s “improper” that I’m dating someone so young, and everytime they call, the first thing they ask is if we’re still together. I want them to be happy for us, especially since I’m planning on proposing. Their support would mean so much for our relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How did you guys handle it? Any advice would really help out a lot.


I wouldn't worry about it too much.
 

joefizz

Senior Member
Apr 23, 2017
13,445
326
83
25
#3
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need advice please!!!
I just want to clarify, my parents are good people. They don’t mean to be offensive, I guess they’re just not used to the concept of such a large age gap between partners. For a bit of backstory, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. We met on this site called Loveme, and as far as relationships go, this might be my best one.

She’s really intelligent, sometimes it feels like she’s smarter than me. She’s funny, and just hearing her voice on the other side of the line can turn a bad day around. I see a future with this woman, and it’s amazing. Now here’s the catch: she’s 26, and I’m 38. We don’t see a problem with it, age really isn’t an issue. Our friends are genuinely happy for us.

But when I introduced her to my family a few months ago, they completely closed themselves off from our relationship. They think it’s “improper” that I’m dating someone so young, and everytime they call, the first thing they ask is if we’re still together. I want them to be happy for us, especially since I’m planning on proposing. Their support would mean so much for our relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How did you guys handle it? Any advice would really help out a lot.


Well the larger the age gap the more someone will question a relationship,especially concerning men who are older than women,it's certainly tough to not have your parents backing you but try to remember God/Jesus first.
Age can be quite a stretch but it's more important to know what your intentions are and what God/Jesus would agree with any circumstance can be different,if you already are living a lifestyle overall that is right with God/Jesus and intend to continue to do right after marriage,then therein may lie the answer to what is best.
I haven't been in even a single relationship but I've seen enough to know that you "must" have a solid foundation,as in you have a realistic future in mind,you have removed doubt from your mind,actually being "Assuredly serious".
About all I can do is try to remind you of what you are going into and to stay firm to that purpose if you love this woman as much as you believe then stand strong and "take it seriously" don't let your family drag you down and just strive to do what is "right" in God's eyes because earthly parents or not you still when getting married are married before your heavenly father God,so strive to do him proud.
That's about all I have,regarding this since I don't have "personal experience" with this though I can relate.
 
Last edited:
Oct 25, 2017
1,315
244
63
#4
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

Hi!



I've seen quite a lot of couples with 10-12 years gap(I am talking about men very much older than his gf or wife) and it seems like people are more open to that than seeing a woman like my age dating a man 10-12 years younger than me...so I guess your parents are not really against you having a relationship with this woman...They maybe think that there is no genuine love on your girlfriend's part toward you because of the age gap...But I see no problem...they don't force you to leave your woman...or say things that would hurt her and you, so I think your parents will accept your relationship with your woman fast...



If you love this woman then what are you waiting for :) I guess you overthink your situation so much and you are the one who is more insecure with the age difference :) you are fine... People are more gentle seeing men dating younger women(legal age 24 above) than seeing older women dating and marrying younger men :)



Be at peace, now that you have found her,you have found the person you want to be with for the rest of your life go ahead :) show the world that love always prevails ❤



God bless you ❤
 
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Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,797
91
48
#5
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

Just tell your parents that your not attracted to older women :).. Or tell them that she's very mature and your a tad immature, so you meet a happy median and seem to mesh.
 

MarcR

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2015
5,486
171
0
#6
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need advice please!!!
I just want to clarify, my parents are good people. They don’t mean to be offensive, I guess they’re just not used to the concept of such a large age gap between partners. For a bit of backstory, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. We met on this site called Loveme, and as far as relationships go, this might be my best one.

She’s really intelligent, sometimes it feels like she’s smarter than me. She’s funny, and just hearing her voice on the other side of the line can turn a bad day around. I see a future with this woman, and it’s amazing. Now here’s the catch: she’s 26, and I’m 38. We don’t see a problem with it, age really isn’t an issue. Our friends are genuinely happy for us.

But when I introduced her to my family a few months ago, they completely closed themselves off from our relationship. They think it’s “improper” that I’m dating someone so young, and everytime they call, the first thing they ask is if we’re still together. I want them to be happy for us, especially since I’m planning on proposing. Their support would mean so much for our relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How did you guys handle it? Any advice would really help out a lot.


IMO After people reach the age of 20 age difference is totally irrelevant.
 

Depleted

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2015
22,166
480
83
Philly, PA, USA
#7
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need advice please!!!
I just want to clarify, my parents are good people. They don’t mean to be offensive, I guess they’re just not used to the concept of such a large age gap between partners. For a bit of backstory, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. We met on this site called Loveme, and as far as relationships go, this might be my best one.

She’s really intelligent, sometimes it feels like she’s smarter than me. She’s funny, and just hearing her voice on the other side of the line can turn a bad day around. I see a future with this woman, and it’s amazing. Now here’s the catch: she’s 26, and I’m 38. We don’t see a problem with it, age really isn’t an issue. Our friends are genuinely happy for us.

But when I introduced her to my family a few months ago, they completely closed themselves off from our relationship. They think it’s “improper” that I’m dating someone so young, and everytime they call, the first thing they ask is if we’re still together. I want them to be happy for us, especially since I’m planning on proposing. Their support would mean so much for our relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How did you guys handle it? Any advice would really help out a lot.


Opposite side of this one. I was the 24 year old girl. He was the 33 year old guy. Because of that, Dad was my shield/mantle/protector. So, honestly, if he said no, I wouldn't have married hubby until I got Dad's blessing. (Even made future-hubby ask for Dad's permission, which caused him a lot of sweat and Dad some chuckles. lol) But, I was going to get Dad to like him by taking him to Dad's house until his natural charm won Dad over.

Fortunately, Dad did say yes. (He's a good guy, so not hard to do.)

Not only did Dad say yes, but he thought over his relationship with his GF at the time. (16 years apart between them. For a while there, my stepmother was one month older than hubby. lol) They were married five months after we were married.

We're still married. Dad and her aren't.

I do think it's important for the parents to agree with the marriage. But, from personal experience, I also know every thing changes at the wedding. I wasn't keen on who brother was marrying. He divorced his first wife to marry this one, so not good. But now that she's part of the family, she's family.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
5,494
279
83
#8
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need advice please!!!
I just want to clarify, my parents are good people. They don’t mean to be offensive, I guess they’re just not used to the concept of such a large age gap between partners. For a bit of backstory, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. We met on this site called Loveme, and as far as relationships go, this might be my best one.

She’s really intelligent, sometimes it feels like she’s smarter than me. She’s funny, and just hearing her voice on the other side of the line can turn a bad day around. I see a future with this woman, and it’s amazing. Now here’s the catch: she’s 26, and I’m 38. We don’t see a problem with it, age really isn’t an issue. Our friends are genuinely happy for us.

But when I introduced her to my family a few months ago, they completely closed themselves off from our relationship. They think it’s “improper” that I’m dating someone so young, and everytime they call, the first thing they ask is if we’re still together. I want them to be happy for us, especially since I’m planning on proposing. Their support would mean so much for our relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How did you guys handle it? Any advice would really help out a lot.


The age difference between my boyfriend and i are bigger than urs. Weve been going strong for 4 months pretty much almost living together.
I just started to handle it as if it was normal. People either accept it or they dont. Don't take it to heart too much..i notice some generations and cultures just think differently. I wish u the best
God bless
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
5,412
377
83
#9
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

But when I introduced her to my family a few months ago, they completely closed themselves off from our relationship. They think it’s “improper” that I’m dating someone so young, and every time they call, the first thing they ask is if we’re still together
This is totally IRRATIONAL and you would be wise to deal with the issue immediately. You have to face the fact that your parents evidently are not thinking about your future welfare. So the best thing to do is arrange for a meeting with just you and your parents.

Tell them in no uncertain terms that (a) you love this person and she loves you, (b) that the age difference is not even abnormal, but it has no bearing on your relationship and (c) you intend to marry this girl whether they approve or disapprove.

Also show them the Scripture (Gen 2:24) where God says that you must leave father and mother and cleave to your wife.
I want them to be happy for us, especially since I’m planning on proposing. Their support would mean so much for our relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How did you guys handle it? Any advice would really help out a lot.
If your parents come to their senses, they will agree that they are being obstructionist and irrational, and sincerely welcome your spouse. If not, you will simply have to move on.
 
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Depleted

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2015
22,166
480
83
Philly, PA, USA
#10
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

I'm beginning to think one-posters are like Democrats -- try as I might, I will never be able to understand the logic.

Why do people post long posts seeking advice, never to return to see answers? Anyone have any good guesses? I take a bad guess by now. lol
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
7,446
290
83
#11
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

Honour thy Father and thy Mother...
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
7,446
290
83
#12
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

by the way, I'm questioning that hug, and it looks very much
like santa doesn't have a 'left-hand',..what's going on here?
John should have caught this...
 

Depleted

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2015
22,166
480
83
Philly, PA, USA
#13
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

by the way, I'm questioning that hug, and it looks very much
like santa doesn't have a 'left-hand',..what's going on here?
John should have caught this...
Correct. No left hand. It's a paw.

I like this avatar because they could be John and me. He'll pretend he's Santa, if that's what would make me feel safe. And I'm in his arms because he makes me feel safe. (Oh, and he's a big man, so has paws, not hands. At his thinnest, he wore a size 13 ring. lol)
 

mcubed

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2013
1,252
80
48
#14
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

My ex-husband is 8 years my junior, but since she is younger that you and females mature faster than males, you are probably around the same age...lol

Are you sure the age difference is the problem with your parents? My family saw what I could not see and it was not age.

I suggest praying and allow G-d to lead you. The Scriptures say if you burn with lust you should marry. And the Scriptures tells us not to be unequally yoked. (this was my problem with my ex) Honor your parents doesn't mean obey (when we are fully grown adults). And what you wrote in your post you did honor them by saying they are good parents. But parents do have wisdom so really I would be on my knees not on line about this.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
20,296
537
113
52
#15
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

The age difference between my boyfriend and i are bigger than urs. Weve been going strong for 4 months pretty much almost living together.
I just started to handle it as if it was normal. People either accept it or they dont. Don't take it to heart too much..i notice some generations and cultures just think differently. I wish u the best
God bless
I have to say, I'm a bit shocked to hear this, Demi.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
5,494
279
83
#16
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

I have to say, I'm a bit shocked to hear this, Demi.
Well then be shocked. I am still me tho
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
20,296
537
113
52
#17
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

Well then be shocked. I am still me tho
It hasn't changed my perception of you. I still think you're amazing and smart and all that.. but it does have me a bit worried because guys that age who take an interest in someone your age umm... is sort of a red flag... but I will say no more. Just keep it in mind.
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
11,316
364
83
#18
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

The age difference between my boyfriend and i are bigger than urs. Weve been going strong for 4 months pretty much almost living together.
I just started to handle it as if it was normal. People either accept it or they dont. Don't take it to heart too much..i notice some generations and cultures just think differently. I wish u the best
God bless
That opens a can of worms. Not only social and testimonial issues but legal issues as well.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
20,296
537
113
52
#19
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

That opens a can of worms. Not only social and testimonial issues but legal issues as well.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
She's in another country so there might not be legal issues.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
5,494
279
83
#20
Re: My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need

That opens a can of worms. Not only social and testimonial issues but legal issues as well.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
No legal issues in germany. 16 is the age here for people above 18