Newlywed Divorce

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Depleted

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2015
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Philly, PA, USA
Oh and his mistress is one of his star witnesses in the divorce. Crazy!!!
I'm 90% sure sanity restores in the courtroom when the day finally arrives. (Having the mistress as the star witness will likely work in your favor.)

As far as how long divorces can take? I think my dad might hold the record. Two people not wanting to be with each other any more, and yet, not wanting to make any decisions about the divorce, made that one last 10 years. (The two divorce lawyers had a great time milking it for all its worth, until Dad got fed up and got the second best divorce attorney in the county.)

My husband's first wife kept fighting every little thing, so he finally gave it all to her -- including the kids, house, car, and bills. Ends up, she didn't pay the bills, so they came back on him five years later. I count that as her wedding gift to us. (Still worth it. Paying off those bills kept her out of our lives for a while. lol)

I'm of the theory that if a divorce goes amicably, maybe that's a sign that the couple shouldn't divorce. Just a theory, but, hey, I don't know many that go well.

If it helps any, I don't think you or your children are in danger. That guy sounds like he is too afraid to stand on his own, so uses women to take care of him and as his compass on how to get through each day. Not the type of guy who would kill anyone, since the mistress isn't the type of woman to pull that string. If all goes wrong, the worst thing that happens is you lose all your money. Consider it a good investment to get him out of your life. That's how hubby and I saw him losing everything he had.

The one and only thing he regrets is losing his kids. Don't lose yours. (Then again, since it's really not about the child for him, I doubt that will be an issue. AND, when his story comes out in court, no sane judge -- military or otherwise -- will award him the child.)

You've already proved to yourself you can rebuild when everything goes south. The Lord has proved he is with you. If you lose all the money, you can rebuild. (Been there, too.)
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
16,931
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No, the divorce has been filed since I wrote the original post years ago. It’s just been drawn out and very nasty. He has demanded a lot and done a lot. The judge is military biased so he gives my husband anything he requests because “he is in the military”. I am still waiting. He has been very abusing and I moved with my children to another state so they can have a sense of normalcy and safety. Well I will be going to court in a few weeks for contempt that he filed against me for moving out of state. Not sure what will happen but this guy is trying to destroy me and my children at every step. He even went on a viscous attack against me and both of my kids. Nothing is happening though because he is military and is getting free passes left and right.

Only God can save my kids and I. If he chooses not to, we will be meeting Him sooner than later because my someday ex will make sure that we do and nothing will be done. He is using our son as leverage to control me and the state is allowing it to happen.
Can you hire a private detective? The military is against adultery and if you can prove what you are saying the judge can be swayed in your favor..,a good lawyer would be good too.

Yes there is corruption but you have money and he doesnt, right?

Most military men I know would meet him at night with a pillow case filled of soap,...heard that doesn't leave bruises...(maybe I shouldn't reveal that I know folks like that,but they believe in defending women and children from abusers and as Tourist said the guy is a jerk.

Anyway will keep you in prayers.

I had thought two years later the divorce would have gone through...Will pray that God send some smart compassionate lawyer to help you deal with this mess.
 
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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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Can you hire a private detective? The military is against adultery and if you can prove what you are saying the judge can be swayed in your favor..,a good lawyer would be good too.

Yes there is corruption but you have money and he doesnt, right?

Most military men I know would meet him at night with a pillow case filled of soap,...heard that doesn't leave bruises...(maybe I shouldn't reveal that I know folks like that,but they believe in defending women and children from abusers and as Tourist said the guy is a jerk.

Anyway will keep you in prayers.

I had thought two years later the divorce would have gone through...Will pray that God send some smart compassionate lawyer to help you deal with this mess.
In the military adultery is considered a courts-martial offence. You may have to file for divorce in another state that has no-fault divorce.
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
16,931
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In the military adultery is considered a courts-martial offence. You may have to file for divorce in another state that has no-fault divorce.
Will him being courtmaritial speed up the divorce?

It would help her keep her kids and money, right?

I thought you had to file divorce in the state you are living in?
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
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Will him being courtmaritial speed up the divorce?

It would help her keep her kids and money, right?

I thought you had to file divorce in the state you are living in?
Usually divorce is supposed to be filed where the defendant lives.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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Will him being courtmaritial speed up the divorce?

It would help her keep her kids and money, right?

I thought you had to file divorce in the state you are living in?
Some states has very lenient policies regarding setting up a residence. If found guilty in a military court a judge can order the convicted to pay child support. I'm not sure about ordering who gets custody. The whole thing sounds like a real mess.
 
Feb 25, 2018
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Court martial is not as clear as one would think. I have proven his adulterous to his commander and the inspector generals office but hey refuse to do anything. They said it is a civil matter and that hey will not act until they see what the outcome is in the civilian courts. Basically they cover for each other. I was in the military too so I know how it goes. I’m just trying to pray and let God handle it because I have done all that I could do. I have been through 3 lawyers and each one is worst than the last one.

Well I’ll I have court I. A few weeks and we will se what the judge says. So far he has been terrible.
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
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That makes me mad, but going to pray and let God take care of it...more flies with honey and pouring hot coals over people's heads and all.
 
Feb 25, 2018
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I pray for him every night now. The only one that can change this mans heart is God. I pray that I can handle the situation without acting out in anger. My poor kids are the ones suffering to most. It’s been a long stressful road.
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
16,931
428
83
I pray for him every night now. The only one that can change this mans heart is God. I pray that I can handle the situation without acting out in anger. My poor kids are the ones suffering to most. It’s been a long stressful road.
will join you in prayer
 
Feb 10, 2018
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It’s common sense that the guy mainly just wanted to sleep with her
 
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