Pregnancy and Worried

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theupsetone

Junior Member
Nov 22, 2017
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#1
Hello,
I am 24 weeks pregnant. I am saved but I have always struggled . At the time my boyfriend and I were not doing what was right but I am trying so hard to get back on track. My now fiance has been trying really hard to get right but he wants to wait to get married until after the baby is born. He just wants us to be able to have a wedding and figure some stuff out financially....
The issue is that my parents think we need to get married right away and I told them that I cant force him to marry me. They say I need to separate myself from him so that he will move faster but I dont think that will change anything...

My dad threatens that either i separate myself from my fiance or we get married if not my mother and sisters will not be allowed to come see me, throw me a baby shower, or even come to the birth.

What do I do ? He just wants to wait a little . it is breaking my heart completely and I feel like I just cant handle the stress anymore. Please help...
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,857
1,746
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#2
Unfortunately your dad is right. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's true. Had you thought of the consequences BEFORE you hopped into bed, you wouldn't be in this predicament right now. So your dad is right, your only two options are either get married, or break up and stay single.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,961
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Florida
#3
It depends on how long your boyfriend wants to wait to get married. If it's a matter of months fine, years not so fine.

The important thing is not being able to afford a wedding but to have a sustainable income to support you and the baby. Sound like your family is just a little anxious worrying about your situation which is tenuous at best.

What to do? Right now it's a waiting game. Yes, I understand that things are a little stressful at home but that's to be expected due to the circumstances.

Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.
 

theupsetone

Junior Member
Nov 22, 2017
7
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#4
He just wants to wait till the baby comes and then figured since i am due in march and we can get married in august .
 

theupsetone

Junior Member
Nov 22, 2017
7
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#5
But why would I breakup with him if we plan on getting married right after the baby is born. I would understand if he just wanted to date for a while but we are engaged and have 150% no doubts about getting married .
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,857
1,746
113
#6
Do either of you have any money saved up? You could get married at the court house for a certain fee..


He just wants to wait till the baby comes and then figured since i am due in march and we can get married in august .
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,857
1,746
113
#7
Then it's probably more feasible to get married BEFORE the kid comes along. Because afterward, ALL your money is gonna go towards baby stuff..

But why would I breakup with him if we plan on getting married right after the baby is born. I would understand if he just wanted to date for a while but we are engaged and have 150% no doubts about getting married .
 

theupsetone

Junior Member
Nov 22, 2017
7
0
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#8
The issue is we had nothing . I was finally able to just find us a place to live that we could afford. We just make enough for us and the baby and figured even if we save a little each month we can get married we just cant right now.
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,417
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#9
As a person with a penis, that does atleast 60% of my thinking for me, I can see how putting off getting married, would make it easier to bail after the baby is born.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,016
73
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#10
If you both truly love each other and planned to get married...best that you do asap for all involved because lady blue is right. You won't be able to afford a wedding for a long time...maybe never...which it's not so much the wedding anyway. Small, sweet, and intimate means more anyway....plus its affordable! Use your money wisely...you'll need it in the beginning. So, if you don't really love each other enough to marry, don't make 2 mistakes (I'm assuming you both know you should have waited, not saying a baby is a mistake but a gift with a lesson, trust me on that one)...remember that marriage is a lifelong commitment made before God and divorce is painful ,hard, and another lesson.
I pray you both will seek God's wisdom in all your future decisions...because sin is expensive in many many ways and it's best to get back on the track HE wants you on.
 
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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,961
1,506
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Florida
#13
The issue is we had nothing . I was finally able to just find us a place to live that we could afford. We just make enough for us and the baby and figured even if we save a little each month we can get married we just cant right now.
All in due time. Looks like things are moving in the right direction.
 

theupsetone

Junior Member
Nov 22, 2017
7
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#15
My dad wasn't there but my fiance would not fight this hard to make sure we were ok and ready to have this baby if he didn't love me . He is a good man , I know there are possibilities but its not in the sense where he was not sure
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,417
403
83
#16
Do either of you have any money saved up? You could get married at the court house for a certain fee..
Here in Virginia. A marriage license is $30. A bonded marriage celebritorian usually charges $30-$50. A minister will usually do it in his office for free if you belong to the church, or take a small donation.
 

theupsetone

Junior Member
Nov 22, 2017
7
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#17
It is about 100 here plus i have to find a church that will marry us because my parents went to my church and told them everything going on and I don't know if they will marry us.
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,417
403
83
#18
It is about 100 here plus i have to find a church that will marry us because my parents went to my church and told them everything going on and I don't know if they will marry us.
When you get the marriage license, ask the clerk, might be able to catch the Circuit judge in his office. He'll do it for free.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,961
1,506
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Florida
#19
Here in Virginia. A marriage license is $30. A bonded marriage celebritorian usually charges $30-$50. A minister will usually do it in his office for free if you belong to the church, or take a small donation.
60 bucks in Vegas. Elvis will set you back a little though but maybe you hit one of the slots or win a couple games of Black Jack. That's the way my wife and I rolled. No Elvis. Funny thing about the marriage license. One of Las Vegas finest was helping us across the street to the county clerk office when someone almost ran the officer over. I didn't take it as a sign from God to call the whole thing off. Cop just gave the driver a warning. Maybe it was his lucky day.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,016
73
48
#20
My dad wasn't there but my fiance would not fight this hard to make sure we were ok and ready to have this baby if he didn't love me . He is a good man , I know there are possibilities but its not in the sense where he was not sure
That's good to hear. Get a license...find a minister...get married under a tree in the park or your living room with God, your closest family, and have a small yet sweet little spaghetti dinner reception by candlelight around the dining table. If you know someone willing to make you a cake and decorate a little...what more do you need? The memory will be very special...and maybe you can have a big ten year shindig and have oldest child give you away...just an idea...
You might just have God spare you some tough lessons if you don't continue living in sin;)
 
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