Recommendations on child care

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Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
5,957
2,781
113
#1
My nephews are staying with us due to their abusive parents.

One is in 9th grade while the other is in 7th.

I am not sure how long they are staying but their clothes are too small, in rags, and smelly. Plus need medical assistance in therapy and dental work as their teeth are basically rotting.

What can we do to help them when we are not made of money either?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
33,808
11,520
113
66
Tennessee
#2
Hopefully, there are community clinics in your area that would provide some basic health and dental care for little or no charge. You can't really do this all on your own. I would check out thrift stores in local churches. They would probably give you some clothes for free. Sad about the abusive parents though but they are in the good hands of their uncle now.
 

Genipher

Well-known member
Jan 6, 2019
351
287
63
#3
Ask your church for clothing donations. Ours has helped a family that had a fire and (discreetly) asked for donations for a mother with 3 kids.

Can you get them on your insurance?
 

Tararose

Well-known member
Sep 30, 2020
420
300
63
Uk
www.101christiansocialnetwork.com
#4
I would think your church (if you are in one) would be the first port of call. I don’t know where you live but there are charities such as the Salvation Army That May be able to help out or at least advise on other organisations that can help.

It’s lovely you can be there for them at this difficult time. I am reminded of the testimony of George mueller and how the Lord met all the needs of the orphans he cared for.

Take heart, what you do for these children you are doing for the Lord and He will meet all your needs as you trust in Him.

The Lord bless and keep you all at peace at this time of trouble.
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
914
618
93
#5
On the dental/medical matters, it might be helpful to explain to the doctor. Some time ago, I was unemployed (no insurance) and going through a major lupus flare-up. My rheumatologist only charged me very minimum cost to cover the lab work costs on her end. What might be $1000 for various lab work ended up being $200 or so (based on very vague memory). She also did not charge for office visits. This happened over several visits over 4 or 5 months, enough time for me to feel/look better for the job interview process to get a job/insurance.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
10,020
3,643
113
#6
In nz we have a charity called Barnados that works with families to help them get through tough times.
see if you can hook up with something similar where you are. You may be able to get assistance as a foster carer for the boys and get help for their parents too.

Salvation Army are great for clothes. Dental care, here its free for under 18s in schools. But you might need to organise some kind of insurance dental plan for them that could feed in weekly if theres no other option. Its tough to be hit with dentist bills.

Help them to get into using mouthwash regularly (gargle warm salt water) and restrict sugary drinks.
I think it goes without saying do their laundry and get them to wash everyday but parents who neglect and abuse their children just dont have time for this....or it could even be they didnt even have hot running water available and no laundry facilities.

Show them you love them by looking out for them.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
5,957
2,781
113
#7
Hopefully, there are community clinics in your area that would provide some basic health and dental care for little or no charge. You can't really do this all on your own. I would check out thrift stores in local churches. They would probably give you some clothes for free. Sad about the abusive parents though but they are in the good hands of their uncle now.
Agree, we are compiling our options so we can see what all is available. Thank you for the reply.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
5,957
2,781
113
#8
Ask your church for clothing donations. Ours has helped a family that had a fire and (discreetly) asked for donations for a mother with 3 kids.

Can you get them on your insurance?
I will ask and I am not sure if the mom will sign her rights over. She wanted to a few months back. But we are still trying to figure out the best route. But they may receive better care if they remained legally under her as they may be more eligible for state or federal aid. Not sure how that works.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
5,957
2,781
113
#9
I would think your church (if you are in one) would be the first port of call. I don’t know where you live but there are charities such as the Salvation Army That May be able to help out or at least advise on other organisations that can help.

It’s lovely you can be there for them at this difficult time. I am reminded of the testimony of George mueller and how the Lord met all the needs of the orphans he cared for.

Take heart, what you do for these children you are doing for the Lord and He will meet all your needs as you trust in Him.

The Lord bless and keep you all at peace at this time of trouble.
Thank you. It was a spontaneous reaction with a quick prayer. The mother's boyfriend is a narcissistic sociopath. He had isolated them and the mother from all family members. Told them all other churches we're cults. He would beat them, constantly talk bad to them, wouldn't buy them clothes or wash their clothes. The mother would take his side as now she has a 6-month-old with him and has tried to get rid of her older kids many times. They get picked on at school and the oldest attempted suicide a few years ago. For a long time we had no idea where they were as the bf blocked all communication.

I'll check the salvation army.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
5,957
2,781
113
#10
On the dental/medical matters, it might be helpful to explain to the doctor. Some time ago, I was unemployed (no insurance) and going through a major lupus flare-up. My rheumatologist only charged me very minimum cost to cover the lab work costs on her end. What might be $1000 for various lab work ended up being $200 or so (based on very vague memory). She also did not charge for office visits. This happened over several visits over 4 or 5 months, enough time for me to feel/look better for the job interview process to get a job/insurance.
That would be awesome. It wouldn't hurt to just ask what kind of help could they provide. Thanks.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
5,957
2,781
113
#11
In nz we have a charity called Barnados that works with families to help them get through tough times.
see if you can hook up with something similar where you are. You may be able to get assistance as a foster carer for the boys and get help for their parents too.

Salvation Army are great for clothes. Dental care, here its free for under 18s in schools. But you might need to organise some kind of insurance dental plan for them that could feed in weekly if theres no other option. Its tough to be hit with dentist bills.

Help them to get into using mouthwash regularly (gargle warm salt water) and restrict sugary drinks.
I think it goes without saying do their laundry and get them to wash everyday but parents who neglect and abuse their children just dont have time for this....or it could even be they didnt even have hot running water available and no laundry facilities.

Show them you love them by looking out for them.
Thank you. I will look into that and it wasn't that they didn't have the opportunity or appliances but that the bf wouldn't let them or the mother wouldn't care. They told me yesterday if the messed up once, he would force to sit on the couch all weekend and only to get up by doing chores like cleaning the floor with a tooth brush or reorganizing the kitchen cabinets. Then when they got done they would sit back on the couch.

The mother gets mad at them for the dumbest things.
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
3,904
712
113
#12
If you are a temporary care provider, court ordered, the children probably qualify for medicaid. Most states also have some type of health care for children under 18. Check with DHS or DCF in your state.

We have been down the path you are embarking on. It was the most difficult thing that we ever immagined. Trust God, be stern but patient, and love the children no matter how difficult times. We will pray for you daily.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
33,808
11,520
113
66
Tennessee
#13
On the dental/medical matters, it might be helpful to explain to the doctor. Some time ago, I was unemployed (no insurance) and going through a major lupus flare-up. My rheumatologist only charged me very minimum cost to cover the lab work costs on her end. What might be $1000 for various lab work ended up being $200 or so (based on very vague memory). She also did not charge for office visits. This happened over several visits over 4 or 5 months, enough time for me to feel/look better for the job interview process to get a job/insurance.
Your doctor obviously cared more for you as her patient than her bank account. Very commendable. I hope and pray that you are feeling alright now.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
5,957
2,781
113
#14
If you are a temporary care provider, court ordered, the children probably qualify for medicaid. Most states also have some type of health care for children under 18. Check with DHS or DCF in your state.

We have been down the path you are embarking on. It was the most difficult thing that we ever immagined. Trust God, be stern but patient, and love the children no matter how difficult times. We will pray for you daily.
It is not court ordered as the mom is my wife's sister. She is staying also. But we are wanting to keep the kids. She has tried to throw them on us before many times. Thank you for the prayers. The kids are not so bad, they are quite thankful to be here. It is their mom and mom's boyfriend.
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
914
618
93
#15
Your doctor obviously cared more for you as her patient than her bank account. Very commendable. I hope and pray that you are feeling alright now.
Yes, she was very nice. One reason I delayed care was due to no insurance (I was also not insurable during that time due to pre-existing conditions). The way I looked that time, she probably had no choice but to see me.