Hello. I left the church first because i have struggles and i met no one from the church to comfort me or build me up... I m very judgemental person.. I know its wrong and i know i m sinful person myself. One of the reasons that i left the church is that i dont like the mentality of the people in the church - the way they so easily mingle with the world and its entertainments. And they say they follow Jesus but they dont do what he did (i mean his behaviyor apart from the miracles). But the main reason actually is that i fall in love with one person but he left me and now he will get married in few days time. I cant stand the fact to see him every time and be reminded he dont want me. And even if i try to avoid looking at him i cant as he play drums in front. Its very uncomfortable situation. I dont know how to delete him out of my mind (and all the memories connected with him). He is special to me for he is the first man i was meeting after i becwme a believer. I dont know to deal with this.. i think about the church because for years i never missed a service...and i m bitter and sad..and when i m reminded of the church - i m reminded of him again ( i often pass near the building as well, as i live very near).. I really tried many things - listen sermons all day, focuss on God every time i detect that i start to think about him and so on.. I feel as possessed sometimes. Some advice, please?
Some advice, please?
- Thread starter Nice_Lady
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
You say you know you are a sinful person. Yet you say your fellow church-goers "mingle with the world". Well, so do YOU. They are only human, and so are you. Christians are not perfect. You need to stop being so judgemental of them, and realize that as far as following Jesus and doing what he did, you don't know WHAT they do when they go home. It's easy to act one way in church, and another way at home. You have no clue what their walk with Jesus is, so stop assuming you do. Life is too short to be bitter, sad and judgemental. So change your attitude and your life will improve. 
I don't mean to sound harsh, but everything in your post is about yourself. How about focusing on serving God? Perhaps you may be better off in a new church home, but even there, you need to start serving instead of wanting to be constantly served yourself.
The "I, me, mine" monster has a hold of you. Start working on "He, Him, His."
The "I, me, mine" monster has a hold of you. Start working on "He, Him, His."
Jesus said, "follow Me." not others.
Paul said that mature thinking is, forgetting what's behind, we press on. Also, that we no longer judge anothe according to the flesh.
Critical, bitter people drain the life out of others and their own households.
Please overcome this. You're only causing yourself to suffer. You're keeping yourself from peace and joy and from being a woman that could really be a blessing to have.
Peter said,...puttingon the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of the Lord.
Paul said that mature thinking is, forgetting what's behind, we press on. Also, that we no longer judge anothe according to the flesh.
Critical, bitter people drain the life out of others and their own households.
Please overcome this. You're only causing yourself to suffer. You're keeping yourself from peace and joy and from being a woman that could really be a blessing to have.
Peter said,...puttingon the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of the Lord.
To be honest i understand the things more spiritual. Like for example the gifts of the Spirit i believe to be spiritual and serving others means to me to encourage and build others up, to bear their burdens.. i already was waitress (while unbeliever) and can tell u its just duty... surely spiritual needs r more important than phisical.. for example i dont like someone to invite me for lunch twice a year but care less about me and my struggles. U can say "all right...what about giving?" But i believe that a man who doesnt provide for his own (family, but the church is one big family, so we can exctend the meaning of it a little more here) is worse than unbeliever. And everyone knows how muslim families operate..
A
Start small...keep a journal of all the blessings God gives you. The good things about yourself and your life and praise and thank God for them.
When you are tempted to judge others, remember you are a sinner too and what did Jesus do? he loves and forgives you. Use Jesus love to learn to love others. Instead of condemning them pray for your heart to be filled with love and for God to show you how to love Him more. How to reflect His love and grace to others.
As for the guy...you don't own him. He is not a new purse you get to keep or get mad someone "stole" him from you. He is a beloved child of God and God has plans for him. Plans that don't involve you as his wife
. It hurts, but often it's pride more than the heart that hurts. For love would want him to be happy even if it's not with you
. God has plans for you too. You just need to stop dwelling on what you want and lusts for and focus on the blessings you have and how you can help spread God's love to others.
Change the focus from complaining about what they aren't doing....to what you can do to help and connect with others.
When you are tempted to judge others, remember you are a sinner too and what did Jesus do? he loves and forgives you. Use Jesus love to learn to love others. Instead of condemning them pray for your heart to be filled with love and for God to show you how to love Him more. How to reflect His love and grace to others.
As for the guy...you don't own him. He is not a new purse you get to keep or get mad someone "stole" him from you. He is a beloved child of God and God has plans for him. Plans that don't involve you as his wife
. It hurts, but often it's pride more than the heart that hurts. For love would want him to be happy even if it's not with you
. God has plans for you too. You just need to stop dwelling on what you want and lusts for and focus on the blessings you have and how you can help spread God's love to others.
Change the focus from complaining about what they aren't doing....to what you can do to help and connect with others.
Last edited by a moderator:
Start by confessing in prayer. Then renew your mind in the Word. I suggest starting in Matthew and read all the way to rev. Not sure when you did that last, but reading the straight words of Jesus are cleansing. Ephesians 5:22 on tells us that He washes us by water by His Word. Then keep worship music coming in. No secular. Remember, we're being transformed by the renewing of our mind.
2 Corinthians 10:5
casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,
II Corinthians 10:5 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/2co.10.5.NKJV
2 Corinthians 10:5
casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,
II Corinthians 10:5 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/2co.10.5.NKJV
Hello Nice_Lady
I think if you cannot break the association between the man and the church you should find another church to attend.. I would give yourself a few months to see if things improve before making the final move..
As for other Christians and their ability or lack of ability to live up to the standards of Jesus.. When you find yourself being to badly affected by others performance in their beliefs tell yourself that each and every Christian individual is answerable to God himself for their life and that you do not need to be the judge in your mind over them.. Give all that over to God, He see's all Knows all and no one can hide their thoughts from Him.. I hope this helps you when you see Christians who are weak and fail often to live up to the standards of Jesus..
I think if you cannot break the association between the man and the church you should find another church to attend.. I would give yourself a few months to see if things improve before making the final move..
As for other Christians and their ability or lack of ability to live up to the standards of Jesus.. When you find yourself being to badly affected by others performance in their beliefs tell yourself that each and every Christian individual is answerable to God himself for their life and that you do not need to be the judge in your mind over them.. Give all that over to God, He see's all Knows all and no one can hide their thoughts from Him.. I hope this helps you when you see Christians who are weak and fail often to live up to the standards of Jesus..