Someone tell me what to do.

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JACKARENO2009

Guest
#1
#1
I have a prayer request, or maybe i just need to talk to someone. I don't know where to start. I guess i will tell you a little about me first. Im married, have been for 21 years. This is my 3rd marriage. The first 2 were awful. I tried to make it work, but my first husband needed somehingto hit,he used me. The second time the man i was married too found something better, my bestfriend. Now here i am again, my husband is very nice to everyone, but me. He yells alot, and he is hateful most of the time. He has problems, he is saved, but i really can't tell it. He came to my church about 2 years ago, and went to the alter, and recieved Christ. For a while everything was going really good, then he started cursing again, and being just nasty to me. We have 2 kids, he yells at them too. My son stays gone all the time, because of the stress, he is 20. We have a daughter who is 17, she is a junior at high school. She is saved, and really loves the Lord, and she loves her dad so much, when he yells at her it breaks her heart. I do not want to go through another divorce. I do love him, i just do not know what to do. I want to run away, but i must stay here for my daughters sake. My husband is sick also. He has diabetes, and high blood pressure, and last year he was hospitalized for congestive heart failure. I was so scared, he was going to die. Oh yea, in 2006 he lost his leg due to the diabetes. People at my church say he is upset, because of his medications. I do not agree. I believe when you are a christian, you will act different. Am i wrong? I feel all alone, because their are people at my church who think im the bad one. Even my family likes my husband more than me what do i do? I have prayed and prayed for God to help me with this problem, but i get no answer. I need help someone pray for me because i don't think i can pray anymore, Any suggestion will be greatly appresheated.

THANK YOU
JACKARENO2009
 
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ZbabysMom

Guest
#2
#2
Hello there,
My suggestion to you is to go seek out a Christian counselor. You both need help and your kids do too whether you realize it yet or not. You are going to have to take a seriously hard look at your history and your family tree history of behaviors before you will ever be able to make sense of the chaos you have been describing. I feel for you deeply. I know your anguish to a degree, minus the physical abuse. I hope you go and discover a path to a calmer future with your husband. Prayer works absolute miracles, but the Lord will only help those who help themselves also. Once in a while, we women have to put ourselves first in order to save our kids from making the same type of choices in their future. Usually, women put themselves and their emotional needs last. Our kids will most likely chose (unknowingly) the same types of relationships we choose unless an intervention happens in their lives only because it feels "normal". Be that intervention for your family. It takes guts, but I believe you have the intuition and the courage (God will be your courage!!). All things are possible with the Lord. Never stop praying. I just started chatting on this site tonight and the Lord brought me to your page...first one. There must be a reason. Remember to ask the Lord to help point you in the right direction and He will lead you directly to the right door of a counselor that will help you! Take care and feel free to write back if you need to.

Zbabysmom:cool:
 
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snowangel

Guest
#3
#3
You are not alone, God's with you. Wanted you to know I've prayed for you and I think others will also. Maybe you can share with a friend there or your minister or even doctor, may God bless you with someone to support/counsel you. Its not hopeless, life can be overwhelming, but have faith that things with turn out okay. Consider some family counseling perhaps too. For yourself, try to think positive, pray, exercise, and rest. May God draw your family closer to HIM!. God bless you & your family.

In God's heart, you are created, chosen, celebrated and cherished....
 
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Mom2angels

Guest
#4
#4
Well, first and foremost, you need to pray for yourself before praying for your husband. Often, we women tend to get so hurt toward our husbands that we pray for God to fix them and don't realize that our emotions cause us to mentally seperate from our partners. The one thing about marriage most people don't know is that marriage is not about love. God commands us to love, but does not say marriage is about love. Marriage is a unity under God as well as an eternal vow of faithfulness and support. Our marriage should represent our relationship with God. As a christian, we should seek to please God in all aspects of our life, including our marriage. As for being truly saved, God's word tells us that you will know them by thier fruit. If a person does not demonstrate a godly attitude, make godly choices, or live a godly lifestyle, it's safe to say that they are most likely not truly saved. Your husband may have acknowledged Jesus as his savior, but to truly be saved, that means applying your acknowledgement to your daily choices and living it. Prayer is the ultimate key! You say you don't think you can pray anymore, but that is exactly what the enemy wants of you. He would have you think you are defeated and have no hope of seeing change in your husband. God created marriage as a lasting unity and the only reason marriages fail, is because people try to make their marriage work instead of letting God make it work. The reason your first two marriages failed is because, just as you stated, YOU tried to make them work. God is the glue that holds us together and the human mind is too weak to show unconditional love. We have to let God be the love in us when we don't even feel like loving. There were many times in my marriage when I just wanted out and had to beg God to give me love in my heart toward my husband, to be obedient and submissive toward him, no matter his actions. When my husband rudely demanded that I do something, I did it and told him I loved him. Inside, I was telling God how angry I was, but God would speak to my heart and say,"My child, your emotions will destroy you, but I will show you true love." We just have to stop listening to our feelings and listen to our hearts, because God is always there, we just have to listen. Tell your husband how much you love him and that you are praying for him and standing by him. It will take time, God does not work overnight because patience is not given, it is learned through trial! Pray for God to give you love in your heart and make you obedient and submissive toward your husband. You'll find that as you pray for yourself, God will do a mighty work in your husband. As for your children, you need to sit down with them and explain that your husband's actions do not line up with God's word, but God loves all His children. Your children can love their father and hate his sin. Sin does not make a person. God's word tells us that the sinner is ignorant to their sin. When a person is subjected to a certain lifestyle, it is all they know. Your husband is like a child. He does not understand how his actions effect the people around him. He does not see how his actions are inappropriate, or that he needs God in his life. God opens our eyes to these things. God's word works like a mirror to the soul. We are not able to see how filthy we are, but as God's word fills us and works in our hearts, we begin to see how filthy we are from our sin. We then see how we need God to wash us clean. Be open with your children and let them know that their father isn't where he should be with the Lord, and he needs all of your prayers to get there. God loves the sinners too and tells us in His word, that He rejoices more over one sinner coming to know Christ than a thousand believers entering into heaven. Let go, and let God, don't give up on prayer! Seek God's word because God's living word is the only thing that makes the enemy flee! Be blessed and know that you're in my prayers.
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#5
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#5
My heart to you. My dh also has diabetes and other health issues related to it. I know exactly what you are going through. My father was abusive so I understand what you are feeling. As a child I did not understand why my mother and father divorced and I felt so very abandoned. But I am now greatful that my mom had the courage to go through with it. The best part was I came to know God as my father and the gift from that is having the perfect father as my father. It is a wonderful gift. Now as to living with a diabetic. Yes they can go through horrible mood swings and anger issues. I live with it also. First are his surgars under control? If he is continually having high surgars it will cause him to have anger issues. My dh and I came to understand this and he works hard to controll them now because of us. I also would recomend counselling as there could be underlying issues and a trained person in this area (make sure they understand issues with diabetes) will help if you both are commited. Im glad your dh has exepted Jesus as he is your best help. Wether you should leave him or not? Only you can answer that question but you have the spiritual health of you and your children to consider. Please try getting surgars under controll and councelling. If you hubby is willing the rewards are worth it. Please feel free to pm me if you just need to vent about what you are going through. I do understand. You, your hubby and all of your children are in my heart and prayers. Im not here every day and tend to be a night owl so if I dont get back to you right away, dont worry.May God belss and keep you all. pickles
 
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luke15chick

Guest
#6
#6
From what you say it sounds like you have been in two domestic violent relationships. I would strongly encourage seeking out a local domestic violence organization if you are seeking support. If you want more education you should read the book, Why does He do that by Lundy Bancroft.
 
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