The joys of being a parent

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Steph

Junior Member
Sep 7, 2017
3
0
1
#1
Had a fun time hanging out with my son the other night. And the next day he shows his love .. By skipping school and shoplifting.. Nothing better than getting a call from the sheriff dept telling you we have your son.. Any suggestions on how to deal with this..Can't spank him.. Then I'll be arrested.. So far I just tripled his chore list ...
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,820
111
63
#2
How old is he? I got a spanking in grade school for stealing, and it worked, I never stole again. If I had called the police to try and have my Dad arrested, he would have beat the hell out of me :). And if the sheriff called and said "We have your son", my Dad's response would have been, "Keep him". Seriously though, I'd do what your doing, give him extra work, and ground him for a month. If that doesn't work, then find a ping pong paddle.. jmo
 

MattforJesus

Senior Member
Apr 15, 2017
1,323
77
48
#3
Had a fun time hanging out with my son the other night. And the next day he shows his love .. By skipping school and shoplifting.. Nothing better than getting a call from the sheriff dept telling you we have your son.. Any suggestions on how to deal with this..Can't spank him.. Then I'll be arrested.. So far I just tripled his chore list ...
You can spank your child,for it is legal in all 50 states,and some southern states it is legal in school.

Corporal punishment of children by parents or other legal guardians is legal in the United States and social acceptance is generally high,through allowances made for "moderate physical discipline" (using this or similar language) in most states' laws regarding assault,criminal battery,domestic violence,and/or child abuse.Whether an instance of corporal punishment exceeds these bounds is usually decided on a case-by-case basis in family court proceedings.

If the child is on the older side then grounding,and making them do chores,and taking away privileges,would be the best way,for what is a spanking to a child 12 years,and older,for they will mock that punishment,and it will not affect them,for it cannot be all that physically hurtful,for if it is then it is against the law,for you can only physically punish so much,but to a younger child you do not have to put that much effort in to it,and they get the message.
 

G00WZ

Senior Member
May 16, 2014
620
29
28
#4
my dad used to make me go out and pull up weeds the hard way with no gloves...or he would make me do pointless chores like pick up all the rocks out of the yard, then put them in a pile way off in a corner somewhere, then the next day, he would tell me to scatter them all throughout the yard again and pick them up again. And that would be my punishment until it was over.
 

Rjmorrow24

Junior Member
Sep 12, 2017
15
0
0
#5
Just talk with him and be an amazing mother. Was this his first time? Cause we have all done stupid stuff before!
 

Angle-eyes24

Junior Member
Sep 12, 2017
9
0
0
#6
I'm 19, and having some people in my high school do horrible things and their parents do nothing really made me loose faith in people choosing what is important. I am terrified of how to do this right as well, but there has to be a consequence otherwise you'd be enabling. He has to make things right to the best of his ability and apologize. Show him the pain stealing brings to other people, hence increasing the reason for why it is considered wrong. For Jesus's ultimate law was love others as you love yourself. Also, talk about why inner beauty is more important than the things he has. Lastly, you can't change people even if it's your child, you can only try your best. One verse I have yet to understand how to apply if I become a mother is Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

 
Last edited:

Huckleberry

Senior Member
Aug 25, 2013
1,634
53
48
#7
Any suggestions on how to deal with this...
You're not going to like this.
It's your fault.
You somehow allowed it to happen.
The punishment needs to be on you.
You ought to explain to him how you've failed him, and how you're
now going to be his virtual shadow 24/7 until he is out on his own.
I doubt you'll do it, but it's what needs to be done.
I said you wouldn't like it.
 

Angle-eyes24

Junior Member
Sep 12, 2017
9
0
0
#8
I disagree. You don't know how godly she could have raised him, or how ungodly. There are so many things we don't know about her. We are here to offer advice not instruct or criticise. I know one thing though, is that her child is a separate person from her and we all have free will, and it is not her fault, that her child made a decision she wouldn't make. We all have different convictions. God didn't fail us, we failed him, and then he tried his best and made a huge sacrifice for us! And now we still have the choice to say no. When we say no, we failed him.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
63,042
1,849
113
#9
Should've told the cops to keep him overnight and teach him a lesson. Maybe he needs to go to boot camp or juve detention..
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#10
When I got arrested at 15 for burglary, my parents let me sit in jail (juvenile detention) until my arraignment. While I was away, they took the door of it's hinges to my room, threw all my books, comics, collectables and such in the trash, and then decided that I was grounded from that moment on until I was 18 years old. It got worse from there.
 

Corbinscam

Senior Member
Jul 17, 2016
558
33
28
#11
Don't coddle him. He screwed up and needs to do what HE CAN to make it right. Not you do it and he see no consequences.
If you coddle him all he'll learn is mommy bails me out and I don't need to own my mistakes. Don't do that. Making it right is his responsibility not yours. Keep his chores tripled. If he had a phone...he shouldn't now. If he likes something....take it away till he learns. And most of all tell him "This is your fault. I love you but you acted like an idiot and you will be making up for it for a good long while." I spent years doing dumb things with a mom who pretended to coddle me but really just didn't want to mess with me. I made a life changing mistake and got a grandma who actually loved me in my face saying "well, that was a dumb thing to do but you can't change it, what now?". She put the ball in my court. It was my responsibility to make it right and no one elses.
 

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
3,857
69
48
#12
Had a fun time hanging out with my son the other night. And the next day he shows his love .. By skipping school and shoplifting.. Nothing better than getting a call from the sheriff dept telling you we have your son.. Any suggestions on how to deal with this..Can't spank him.. Then I'll be arrested.. So far I just tripled his chore list ...
Get out a pen and notebook and make him write down 400 times each , I will not steal.
I will not skip school.
 

penknight

Senior Member
Jan 6, 2014
790
11
18
#13
my dad used to make me go out and pull up weeds the hard way with no gloves...or he would make me do pointless chores like pick up all the rocks out of the yard, then put them in a pile way off in a corner somewhere, then the next day, he would tell me to scatter them all throughout the yard again and pick them up again. And that would be my punishment until it was over.
Really? If I had a choice between that and a belt whooping, I might choose the latter.
 

penknight

Senior Member
Jan 6, 2014
790
11
18
#14
Get out a pen and notebook and make him write down 400 times each , I will not steal.
I will not skip school.
My mom uses to make me do that. I wouldn't write out the sentence all at once though. Instead I would write the first word all the way down on all the pages, and then I did the next. It felt like it went faster that way
 
Last edited:

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
3,857
69
48
#15
My mom uses to make me do that. I wouldn't write out the sentence all at once though. Instead I would write the first word all the way down on all the pages, and then I did the next. It felt like it went faster that way
Ha, that's funny. I would do the same exact thing. Makes it go faster, I think.
 

OneFaith

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2016
2,032
230
63
#16
Had a fun time hanging out with my son the other night. And the next day he shows his love .. By skipping school and shoplifting.. Nothing better than getting a call from the sheriff dept telling you we have your son.. Any suggestions on how to deal with this..Can't spank him.. Then I'll be arrested.. So far I just tripled his chore list ...
Talk to him. My son never wanted to have talks, he would say "Can't you just spank me to get it over with?" Get out the Bible, have him read aloud the verses he went against, you can have him write them out also. Discuss the root cause- what was he thinking (literally) that made him arrive at that decision before he put it into action. Then correct that wrongful thinking with its scripture.

Then have him write down the amount of hours of school he skipped, and the amount of money (value) he stole. Have him use a calculator in front of you, and next to the time and money, have him write what amount that is times seven. For example, one hour of skipped school is now seven hours of skipped school. Ten dollars worth of stolen merchandise is now seventy dollars worth.

Now you have him do extra school studying in his free time- seven hours worth, or whatever it may be. And quiz him on it. Then sign his paper for every hour he paid back. Add more chores (extra, not child labor lol) and have him earn an allowance for seventy dollars, or whatever the amount was, and go with him to use that money to shop for toys for tots, or coats for kids, or some kind of charity, mentioning that you have to watch him do it cause he can't be trusted to act like a gentleman without supervision. Sign the paper until all the hours and money are paid back.

Then have an eye contact conversation, he must look you in the eye as you speak. Let down your guard, let him see you be vulnerable. You are now speaking to his conscience. Say "You know, you really hurt me. We had a great day together, and then I was so disappointed by your choices and actions. Someday your kids are going to depend on you, and look up to you. Are they going to see a boy in a man's body, or a true man? You have damaged the trust that I had in you, and youre going to have to repair that if you want the benefits that go along with it- such as your cell phone, your allowance, the freedom to go to football games, and hang out with your friends, without having to have me be right next to you. Everyone messes up, but you have to get right back on the straight and narrow, otherwise you will end up on a path that will lead to things that you do not want."