The sin of refusing sex

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Godsgirl83

Well-known member
Apr 1, 2019
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using culture as an excuse to reject the teaching of scripture.
I don't often reference to the Message translation, but I do like how this one is worded in it:

You’re going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food—catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. (2 Timothy 4:3 Message)

 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
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I know technology may developing in this area. But I don't really think of robots as having sex. That sounds rather unpleasant and strange, with all the bolts, motor oil, and steal.
Some mis-spellings are so appropriate. :)
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
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I'm not riled up. I just read the original post my first thought is, "Geez, this isn't going to end well." I know what the scripture says, but I didn't get the feeling this thread was originally intended as a discussion on the topic.

This is an open forum, and I have every right to participate in a topic, whether I am married or not.

You are riled up. No one said you didn't have the right. But I'm not over in the singles forum, as a married women, all up in their conversations. If you're not married then why are you so vested in this thread?! That was the point. The OP can answer as to whether he was trying to throw a bomb, but I think he's having a legitimate discussion that married couples face and using Scripture to make his point. So far I don't see where he's gone wrong. Again I don't know why this discussion should bother you so much.
 

soggykitten

Well-known member
Jul 3, 2020
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Sure, but I also see people throwing terminology like that around then using culture as an excuse to reject the teaching of scripture.
Other people and your experience there has nothing to do with my remarks. Don't you think you were a bit presumptuous imparting your past experiences in that regard upon me?
 
Aug 11, 2020
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You are riled up. No one said you didn't have the right. But I'm not over in the singles forum, as a married women, all up in their conversations. If you're not married then why are you so vested in this thread?! That was the point. The OP can answer as to whether he was trying to throw a bomb, but I think he's having a legitimate discussion that married couples face and using Scripture to make his point. So far I don't see where he's gone wrong. Again I don't know why this discussion should bother you so much.
I've already made my point, and I don't see any point going in circles about this. Thus, I'm going to wish you to have a nice and that things are going well.
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
17,304
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I've already made my point, and I don't see any point going in circles about this. Thus, I'm going to wish you to have a nice and that things are going well.

I don't wish to go in circles either. And things are going well, thank you. It's usually very warm here where I live and humid. Today it finally broke, with some help from a cold front from Canada. So I went with my parents for a cool evening stroll in a local park that is by a small river. Something about the water always makes me feel calmer, I think I could have stayed all evening. Well that was off topic, but that was how I spent my day and it felt refreshing. :)
 

surfer14

Well-known member
Jul 9, 2020
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If you're married, then sex is in the job description. Don't feel like it? Too bad. Guess what - I don't feel like going to work in the morning either. But I do it.

If you pull the headache excuse all the time, then you deserve to get cheated on. Husband or wife.
 
K

Kim82

Guest
You could also share your thoughts and attitudes on the topic with a potential husband before he proposes, to make sure he is on the same page.
I would not marry anyone who wasn't on the same page. Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
6,779
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Other people and your experience there has nothing to do with my remarks. Don't you think you were a bit presumptuous imparting your past experiences in that regard upon me?
You seemed to be going in that direction. Time and culture is not an excuse for not believing I Corinthians 7 is applicable.
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
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I've read that wives are more likely to have sex if the husband helps with housework; they become more loving towards the husband. Also women expect a lot of romancing first before sex, and I don't think many husbands are fulfilling this part because it takes some effort. Furthermore a lot of husbands do not care if the wife orgasms, this could be another reason if the wife doesn't receive satisfaction from the sex.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
6,779
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I've read that wives are more likely to have sex if the husband helps with housework; they become more loving towards the husband. Also women expect a lot of romancing first before sex, and I don't think many husbands are fulfilling this part because it takes some effort. Furthermore a lot of husbands do not care if the wife orgasms, this could be another reason if the wife doesn't receive satisfaction from the sex.
It could be the opposite. I read a study that marriages where the work was gender-differentiated--e.g. women doing housework, men fixing cars-- had more sex. But the study did not look at women being overworked that I recall. The traditional households could have had a lot of 'men's work.' Also, if a woman stays at home, that is different than if she goes out and works.

Beings a selfish lover could be demotivating, but there are spouses that are 'refusers' who have generous partners in this regard.
 

Runningman

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2020
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Sex deprivation can become a stumbling block. Being burdened by intense passion from pent up unreleased energy can be overwhelming. If spouses are letting each other get to this point, intentionally or not, there is a big problem. I think that sort of situation would compound into more marital problems, if not remedied quickly, and eventually end in divorce or an extremely unhappy and burdensome marriage till death do us part.
 

soggykitten

Well-known member
Jul 3, 2020
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I don't often reference to the Message translation, but I do like how this one is worded in it:

You’re going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food—catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. (2 Timothy 4:3 Message)

You picked the wrong dog. ;) Best I think to search for a scripture that refers to someone like he whom you quoted and support. One who twists what people write so as to avoid a cogent discussion about Exegesis. I'm sure it is out there. Eisegesis is not uncommon here.

Whereas most serious and respectful students of the scripture know that the culture of the time when the scriptures were written and refer have everything to do with Hermeneutics . This is something presidente is unaware of and is why he appears unable to get past what he refuses to acknowledge as a deficit in his argument. Therein he twists my words so as to make me appear to be the at fault one. Baby Christian or troll. One is able to learn. The other is a disabled tragedy.
For those who are sincere:
7 Reasons to Study Bible Culture
1. Understand the audience
Grasping the original audience’s perspective helps us understand the setting to which the inspired authors communicated their message.

2. Understand how the text communicates
A text is ideas linked by threads of writing. Each phrase and each word communicates by the ideas and thoughts that they will trigger in the reader or hearer.

3. Biblical writers made assumptions
Biblical writers normally could take for granted that their audiences shared their language and culture; some matters, therefore, they assumed rather than stated. Think about what happens when later audiences from different cultures read the text without the same un-stated understandings as the original audience.

4. Understand the differences
We can see the differences between [ancient people] and us. To better understand how they would have interpreted what was being shared to them.

5. Understand what issues were being addressed
When we hear the message in its authentic, original cultural setting we can reapply it afresh for our own different setting most fully. Because then we understand what issues were really being addressed.

6. Prevent imposing your own culture
If we know nothing of the ancient world, we will be inclined to impose our own culture and worldview on the Biblical text. This will always be detrimental to our understanding.

7. Fill in the gaps
As each person hears or reads the text, the message takes for granted underlying gaps that need to be filled with meaning by the audience. It is theologically essential that we fill [the gaps] appropriately.
 

soggykitten

Well-known member
Jul 3, 2020
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I've read that wives are more likely to have sex if the husband helps with housework; they become more loving towards the husband. Also women expect a lot of romancing first before sex, and I don't think many husbands are fulfilling this part because it takes some effort. Furthermore a lot of husbands do not care if the wife orgasms, this could be another reason if the wife doesn't receive satisfaction from the sex.
We're told in scripture that in marriage the two become one. So of course a woman would feel more attractive and attracted to her husband when that factor is in place in their marriage. A matter of respect and equality as a team building a life together.

I think the reason some Christian marriages fail is because this oneness does not exist in the relationship. Far too often there are men who claim the name of Christ and yet ignore that passage in Matthew 19. Sadly, as a consequence the wife can become overburdened because her husband sees her as chattel. And as a subordinate due to her sex. Therein the maligning begins. She has things she's to do because she is to know her place. And the husband thinks of himself as her overseer, or boss.

What woman would be content in that state of marital bondage that imparts through the husbands overbearing behavior that of a master slave dynamic?
That's not of God. That's the domain of the other guy.

There is no scripture that says a wife refusing sex, or a husband for that matter, is a sin.

We've been invited to argue and prove a negative. And to debate something not even God himself has stated.

Be careful folks.
 

soggykitten

Well-known member
Jul 3, 2020
2,322
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It could be the opposite. I read a study that marriages where the work was gender-differentiated--e.g. women doing housework, men fixing cars-- had more sex. But the study did not look at women being overworked that I recall. The traditional households could have had a lot of 'men's work.' Also, if a woman stays at home, that is different than if she goes out and works.

Beings a selfish lover could be demotivating, but there are spouses that are 'refusers' who have generous partners in this regard.
Do you have a link for that study you read?
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
18,943
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What woman would be content in that state of marital bondage that imparts through the husbands overbearing behavior that of a master slave dynamic?
That's not of God. That's the domain of the other guy.
I agree with you here; too many people claim that their partner is "refusing sex" when in fact, the partner is simply turned off by the person's behaviour.

There is no scripture that says a wife refusing sex, or a husband for that matter, is a sin.
Does Scripture identify everything humans could do that is sinful? Clearly, no. Even so, 1 Corinthians 7:5 makes it clear that depriving your spouse is wrong and dangerous. What more would you need it to say?
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
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I believe that the Apostle Paul addressed this issue quite effectively in 1 Corinthians 7:5. Read it carefully.

1Co 7:5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

By agreement for a limited time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. I see nothing about who does what, who wants what, who has a headache or many other excuses I've read here. If you have committed yourselves to God, you should be striving to live as one in Christ. Whatever the need of your spouse, do everything to meet that need. I assure you that sex is only a small part of what you'll have to do over the life of your marriage.

I wonder how many people devote themselves to prayer when they are not meeting their spouse's needs.